CAYOM YIX - The Academy Award Nominations!!

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ANNOUNCER: Please welcome your hosts for this afternoon, EGOT Winner Lydia Tár....

 

 

...And award winning coach for AFC Richmond, Ted Lasso!

 

 

(Lydia Tár and Ted Lasso enter to take the mics.)

 

Lydia: We know what you're thinking.

Ted: "Those two don't have anything to do with the movies of last year!" And you're right!

Lydia: What we do both have is an appreciation for the art of cinema?

Ted: I watch the Oscars every year!

Lydia: And I do not. But frankly, when the offer came in to announce the Oscars this year, I couldn't turn down that great honor.

Ted: Yup! And the honor's all mine to announce the first award.

Lydia: Starting with a big one, aren't you, Ted?

 

Ted: The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are...

 

 

Jessie Buckley, The Queen Who Never Was
Kirsten Dunst, The Next Good Day
Eva Green, The Mirage
Brittany Snow, The Crummy Shindig
Emma Thompson, The Queen Who Never Was

 

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Lydia: Congrats to those nominees. I cherish the memory of my first Oscar nom…

Ted: And now you’re going to look back on your first Oscar nomination announcing kindly too!

Lydia: …Sure. The nominees for Best Production Design are…

 

 

The Crummy Shindig

Land of the Crescent
The Mirage
The Queen Who Never Was
Tongue Tied

 

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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1 minute ago, Blankments said:

Ted: The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are...

 

 

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Jessie Buckley, The Queen Who Never Was

 

Kirsten Dunst, The Next Good Day

Eva Green, The Mirage

Brittany Snow, The Crummy Shindig

Emma Thompson, The Queen Who Never Was

 

 

 

Spoiler

Did not expect Eva Green, holy cow!!

 

 

And then Brittany

 

 

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Ted: Lot of cool sets in those movies! I wish I could tour them, go to Westeros and the like.

Lydia: Ted, don’t you ever just read the teleprompter and move on?

Ted: Ooooh, you sound like Rebecca! Alright, alright, the nominees for Best Sound Mixing are…

 

 

The Crummy Shindig
Heremias
The Mirage
The Queen Who Never Was
Rocket Hero

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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1 minute ago, Blankments said:

Ted: Lot of cool sets in those movies! I wish I could tour them, go to Westeros and the like.

Lydia: Ted, don’t you ever just read the teleprompter and move on?

 

This dynamic is something I didn't know I wanted

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Lydia: Now I believe it is better to be seen than heard, so our next category I will be announcing is - 

Ted: Hold up. Aren't you a conductor? Don't you want your music to be heard?

Lydia: I want my musicians' music to be heard. I believe the job of a conductor is to coach and otherwise be silent.

Ted: Ooh, I felt that one. Sorry.

Lydia: The nominees for Best Cinematography are...

 

 

American Spy
Land of the Crescent
The Mirage
The Queen Who Never Was
Warmth

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

[MCKillswitch123]

Spoiler

Good start, I guess Kirsten Dunst was predictable but Rocket Hero landing Sound Mixing is a surprise, I admit lmao

 

 

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Ted Now, Lydia here like to compose the music -

Lydia: Conduct.

Ted: Right. But I like to listen to it. 

Lydia: Where are you going with this?

Ted: Honestly, I lost my train of thought. But hey, music! With words! Nominees for Best Original Song are...

 

 

"Fun, Fun, Fun," Invader Zim

"Lovely Spirits," Matilda and the Night Children
"Make It Happen," The Crummy Shindig
"Making You Care," Runaway Train"
"Who's That Dame," The Crummy Shindig

 

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Lydia: As you might've noticed, Ted here can't take a hint and just read the teleprompter.

Ted: Oh, I took the hint. I just chose to tuck it in the back for later.

Lydia: Mm. Okay. Well, these next actors kept to the script and are about to get some good credit for that. The nominees for Best Voice Actor/Actress in a Supporting Role are...

 

 

Isaac Ryan Brown, Matilda and the Night Children
Ashley Burch, Heremias
Aimee Carrero, Heremias
Keith David, Matilda and the Night Children
Diego Luna, Kirby and the King's Caper

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Ted: Lydia, do you like bowling?

Lydia: Ted, what on Earth are you talking about?

Ted: I love to bowl. It's a great way to build a team and it's a load of fun. One of my favorite parts of bowling are the weird cartoon screens that appear when you get a strike or a gutter ball.

Lydia: Is that where this was leading? The bad computer-animated bowling balls??

Ted: Yeah! The following movies contained no poorly rendered bowling balls, pins, or alleys.

Lydia: Ted, are you actually serious right now? I can't -

Ted: The nominees for Best Visual Effects are...

 

 

Martian Manhunter
Mechaman
The Queen Who Never Was
Rocket Hero
Second Dimension: Last Hope

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Ted: This next one's all you Lydia.

Lydia: (stares at teleprompter) No, Ted you can do that one next. 

Ted: Oh, okay, well -

Lydia: No, it's still my turn. I'll just read the next category, which is a much bigger one, worthy of my stature.

Ted: You're not wrong there.

Lydia: Every orchestra is designed to have solo, and leads, but what is often underrated is people who aren't first chair, who support the rest of the ensemble. The nominees for Best Supporting Actor are...

 

 

Kenneth Branagh, The Queen Who Never Was
James McAvoy, The Queen Who Never Was
Lee Soon-jae, Warmth
Omar Sy, Ameican Spy
Tom Wiaschiha, Red Rabbit

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Ted: Why didn't you want to read this category?

Lydia: Oh, Ted, I just knew you'd make a comment about how I pulled a really great stunt last year when I tackled Eliot in Berlin.

Ted: Lydia, do you think I make cheap shots like that? You've been working to get your life back on track, right?

Lydia: Sure, but -

Ted: Your business is your business. The only action I care about are in this next category. The nominees for Best Use of Action are...

 

 

Devil Bean
Mechaman
The Queen Who Never Was
Rocket Hero
Second Dimension: Last Hope

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

[SLAM!]

1 minute ago, Blankments said:

Ted: Why didn't you want to read this category?

Lydia: Oh, Ted, I just knew you'd make a comment about how I pulled a really great stunt last year when I tackled Eliot in Berlin.

Ted: Lydia, do you think I make cheap shots like that? You've been working to get your life back on track, right?

Lydia: Sure, but -

Ted: Your business is your business. The only action I care about are in this next category. The nominees for Best Use of Action are...

 

  Hide contents

Devil Bean
Mechaman
The Queen Who Never Was
Rocket Hero
Second Dimension: Last Hope

 

Spoiler

WE GOT THAT DEVIL BEAAAAAAAAAN

 

 

 

 

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Lydia: Ted, I feel just horrid for assuming the worst of you.

Ted: Oh, it's okay. I assumed the worst of you too. I've read the articles about you and your student, what was her name - 

Lydia: And back to presenting! Our next category is Best Sound Editing. Much like how I hope they edit out Ted's comment from the broadcast.

Ted: Lydia, I got bad news for you. This is live.

Lydia: The nominees are...

 

 

Heremias
Matilda and the Night Children
Mechamen
The Queen Who Never Was
Rocket Hero

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Lydia: I can't believe you mentioned an ongoing legal case during a live ceremony.

Ted: I'm sorry, I know I agreed not to before we did this. 

Lydia: It was probably going to come up anyway. Lord knows why they asked me to do this. Probably because they wanted two people who have gone "viral" before.

Ted: Our names do both trend a lot.

Lydia: Ted, just go on. We need to go back to making simple banter then being hung up on this.

Ted: Good idea! As the use of motion-capture and animation becomes more prolific, you need a captain for the team of voices in your movie. The nominees for Best Voice Actor/Actress in a Leading Role are...

 

 

Bill Hader, Invader Zim
Ashley Johnson, Heremias
George McKay, Tongue Tied
Anika Noni Rose, Matilda and the Night Children
Lakeith Stanfield, Heremias

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Lydia: Let's try to move through things quicker so Ted doesn't say anything stupid again.

Ted: Mmm, probably a good idea.

Lydia: A good performer needs her makeup and hair done. Even conductors do this too.

Ted: And soccer coaches!

Lydia: What?

Ted: Do you think this moustache combs itself?

Lydia: I'm not answering that. The nominees for Best Makeup and Hairstyling are...

 

 

Acne
The Crummy Shindig
Land of the Crescent
The Mirage
The Queen Who Never Was

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Ted: Do you have your musicians wear uniforms?

Lydia: Oh, just simple formal wear. Nothing official, really.

Ted: My players all wear the same clothes.

Lydia: Well, yes, Ted, that's how sports work.

Ted: I wish they could show off their individuality on the field more though! Why can't they wear tank tops if they want to?

Lydia: I don't know. Can you just read the category?

Ted: Oh, my bad. The nominees for Best Costume Design are...

 

 

The Crummy Shindig
Land of the Crescent
The Mirage
The Queen Who Never Was
Tongue Tied

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Lydia: Our next two categories go hand-in-hand with each other.

Ted: Now, Lydia, you do have an Oscar right? Was it in Original Song or Original Score?

Lydia: Oh, Ted, I appreciate the attempted transition to make it about me, but these are not the music categories.

Ted: Well, you won an Oscar in an Original category, is my point, right?

Lydia: Correct! So it's my pleasure to announce the nominees for Best Original Screenplay. They are...

 

 

Acne
Matilda and the Night Children
The Mirage
Runaway Train
Warmth

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Lydia: Ted, I'm going to try to be you for a second.

Ted: Okay, let's see this is going...

Lydia: In soccer, do your athletes always follow the plays precisely to the book?

Ted: No, it's not like music where they have total control; they're playing against other competitors.

Lydia: Interesting! Would you say they have to adapt the plays then?

Ted: Ohhh!! I see it now! Ooh that's good.

Lydia: Thank you, thank you.

Ted: The nominees for Best Adapted Screenplay are...

 

 

American Spy
Heremias
The Queen Who Never Was
Red Rabbit
Vixen and the Castle of Doom

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments

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Lydia: Ted promised me he wouldn't interrupt me for this category. Despite my caginess earlier, it's well-known my Oscar was for Best Original Score.

Ted: Because you don't write songs, right?

Lydia: Ted!

Ted: Sorry, sorry.

Lydia: These nominees have an opportunity to potentially join - or re-join - a long pantheon of great composers, among them John Williams, Alfred Newman, and of course, me. And even if they don't go on to win, do you know who was nominated for this category but never won?

Ted: Who?

Lydia: My great mentor, Leonard Bernstein. The nominees joining him as Best Original Score nominees are...

 

 

Justin Bell, Heremias
Ramin Djawadi, The Queen Who Never Was
Lisa Gerrard and Hans Zimmer, Vixen and the Castle of Doom
Daniel Hart, The Mirage
Jung Jae-il, Warmth

Edited February 28, 2023 by Blankments