Cookie Fails to Socially Distance and Thus Caught Covid Corner - Y9 Reviews

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#25

Spoiler

 

Warmth

 

I feel bad for ranking this so low, since what it does do has a decent amount going for it, but I just found it far too slight for my taste.

 

#24

Spoiler

 

Martian Manhunter

 

As far as Endless's DC slate goes, this was pretty average. Not great, not terrible, mostly due to being filled with so many superhero clichés that nothing is allowed to elevate itself beyond decent. Lance Reddick is game casting as John Jones, at least. Plus, the Shak Attack!

 

#23

Spoiler

 

Devil Bean

 

Doug LIman Doug Liman's his way through a creative if incredibly messy yet somehow slight plot with enough entertainment value to make it a serviceable time.

 

#22

Spoiler

 

Inspector Gadget & Penny

 

Really wish this found a way to get both Gadget and Penny something to do instead of focusing so much on the latter over the former, but Endless Entertainment delivers another serviceable slapstick fest with its heart in the right place for the counting.

 

#21

Spoiler

 

Winner Takes It All

 

To think we went from a hilarious writing error and @Ezen Baklattan being weirdly into the first one to have this series blossom into an unexpectedly entertaining trilogy, though concluding it on this one before the joke becomes too obvious and artificial was perhaps the smart move.

 

#20

Spoiler

 

Alakazaam!

 

Fun and energetic, even if it gets messier as it goes along. Always up for another magician adventure (as long as it isn't brought by a certain TERF who shall not be named).

 

#19

Spoiler

 

Tongue Tied

 

Would've ranked this higher if it acknowledged it was diet Shrek rather than from the director of The Death of Stalin, but there's enough of an infectious charm to the proceedings that I can't say the end product was bad because of that misstep.

 

#18

Spoiler

 

Among Us

 

The killer is revealed too early, the gimmick of hiding the cast members' identities until the very end is interesting but could've been executed better, and not all of the comedy works, but it holds up well enough on its own when it does click. Adam Driver getting to chew out the rest of the crew is always entertaining.

 

#17

Spoiler

 

Grace and Mercy

 

Props to @SLAM! for taking the whole Gorilla Glue drama that was all over social media a few years back and making something surprisingly atmospheric and compelling (if a bit too loose) about it. Haddish excels in her dramatic turn here.

 

#16

Spoiler

 

The Next Good Day

 

Held together by a stand-out performance from Kirsten Dunst and Tom McCarthy's understated direction, The Next Good Day could've spiraled into melodrama at any point but keeps itself intimate and low-key enough to remain respectable.

 

Edited February 22, 2023 by cookie

[SLAM!]

I gotta find a way to stop telling messy stories 😅. That's the trend that I see with my evaluations. I think I need to give them an extra read-through and be more critical with my own work. I know it's Cayom but I gotta improve these stories, or make changes to the first draft every once in a while. Also, Tongue Tied at 19, now I'm hopping mad 🐸😂

Edited February 20, 2023 by SLAM!

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#15

Spoiler

 

American Spy

 

Feel like the fact that this ranks so high despite my stated opinion being somewhat mixed on it should tell you something about Y9's offerings overall, but I will support Smollett on the campaign trail.

 

#14

Spoiler

 

War on Drugs: America's Modern Conflict

 

Following in the footsteps of my Boeing doc last year, this documentary stands tall above the rest, even if it treats a subject matter as big and vast as the War on Drugs with a bit too much simplicity (and I would've preferred if the sources were included like I did with Flightless Bird, but that's just me).

 

#13

Spoiler

 

Bikini

 

Slight? Yes. Still a solid little film? Also yes.

 

#12

Spoiler

 

Acne

 

Effective body horror and a killer Annalise Basso performance keeps this deep dive into self-harm steady, even if the relatively upbeat ending felt a little forced. 

 

#11

Spoiler

 

Kirby and the King's Caper

 

Another slight one that works in spite of its lack of depth. Kirby and the King's Caper captures all the cuteness and mayhem of the Kirby games without becoming too much of either.

 

Edited March 1, 2023 by cookie

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#10

Spoiler

 

Invader Zim

 

Appropriately crude and manic without overstepping its boundaries, Invader Zim is a straightforward cartoon adaptation that works quite well in spite of it doing the expected bits most of the time.

 

#9

Spoiler

 

Land of the Crescent

 

As someone who enjoyed Moon Knight whenever its plot wasn't a confusing mess, I like that Diab got to work on something with a bigger scale to it in CAYOM. Being a 1.0 import it does have its drawbacks (like being light on characterization outside of May Calamawy's Nadia), but it's a rollicking desert adventure all the same.

 

#8

Spoiler

 

Runaway Train

 

Good music. Good cast. Good handling of its subject matter without veering into melodrama. Good times all around.

 

#7

Spoiler

 

The Queen Who Never Was

 

While it disappointingly doesn't take full advantage of the fact that it's a $200 million theatrical blockbuster not limited by the constraints of its IRL counterparts, The Queen Who Never Was excels whenever Martin's writing and the dynamic character conflicts get to shine. Branagh is on my supporting ballot, btw.

 

#6

Spoiler

 

Red Rabbit

 

Steve Harrington as Jack Ryan was always going to be an easy sell to me, but him starring in a solid Tom Clancy adaptation on top of that is icing on the cake.

 

Edited February 20, 2023 by cookie

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#5

Spoiler

 

The Crummy Shindig

 

I gotta side with @Rorschach on this one, this was an infectiously good time from beginning to end, and I'm usually kinda mixed when it comes to musicals. The strong message and the Dream singing probably helped push this one over the edge for me.

 

#4

Spoiler

 

Vixen and the Castle of Doom

 

Bigger and bolder than its predecessor, if at times a bit baggy, Vixen and the Castle Doom combines unique artistry with a timeless message about not sacrificing what's right in favor of what's safe. Probably @MCKillswitch123's best work in the animation field.

 

#3

Spoiler

 

Heremias

 

It was a bit of a tug of war between whether I'd rank this or Vixen higher, but I settled on this because Dinklage Wizard, even if he ends up a bit underutilized here. Heremias, like Vixen, suffers a bit from being pretty baggy around the middle, as the last half of the film is one long build-up towards a final confrontation between our heroes and the villains. Marcus stands above the rest of the cast since he gets the most overall development (despite being listed as a lead, I felt like Selena didn't actually have much of an arc of her own), but Ashly Burch's Catherine is a welcome addition, even if her endgame reveal is rather sudden and mostly amounts to sequel setup. At first, I was a bit worried that this was going to feel like a rehash of Sylvarius (to the point that the movie introduces a sibling to the previous villain as the new antagonist, like this was a direct-to-DVD Disney sequel), but the twist near the end I think made it all worth it, especially since the climax was pretty dope.

 

Given that the box office is easily guaranteeing a third entry to be made, I'm intrigued to see where it goes and if it can reach the same heights the best moments of the Pillars of Eternity saga did for me. It's getting there, but I feel like it still has work to do.

 

#2

Spoiler

 

The Mirage

 

Sometimes, the weirdness @SLAM!'s films tend to employ really ends up working in their favor (I say sometimes, because for every Yin, there's a Higher Ground), and I think a killer turn by Glen Powell and effective subtext about fragile masculinity is what makes the difference here.

 

#1
 

Spoiler

 

Matilda and the Night Children

 

Okay, to be frank, Year 9 hasn't been great when it comes to either quantity or quality. That's to be expected, given how much just didn't make it and how few people actually participated. Matilda and the Night Children I still don't see as on the level of Gateways, but I must say that compared to what I read of it previously, I was more impressed when I read the posted version. It ended up being a coin toss between this and The Mirage for the #1 spot, but given this film's Bajan cultural aspects and the fact that if there was one genre that stood tall above the rest this year, it was animated films, I felt like I had to give Matilda the #1 slot. It sort of came down to what I wanted to reward the most out of the two.

 

Edited February 20, 2023 by cookie

[SLAM!]

Thank you for #2, #5, #11, #13, #17, #18, #19, #20, #23, #27, and #30 

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Full list:

Spoiler

1. Matilda and the Night Children
2. The Mirage
3. Heremias
4. Vixen and the Castle of Doom
5. The Crummy Shindig
6. Red Rabbit
7. The Queen Who Never Was
8. Runaway Train
9. Land of the Crescent
10. Invader Zim
11. Kirby and the King's Caper
12. Acne
13. Bikini
14. War on Drugs: America's Modern Conflict
15. American Spy
16. The Next Good Day
17. Grace and Mercy
18. Among Us
19. Tongue Tied
20. Alakazaam!
21. Winner Takes it All
22. Inspector Gadget & Penny
23. Devil Bean
24. Martian Manhunter
25. Warmth

HMs:

1. Rocket Hero
2. Mechamen
3. The Boy Who Hated Books
4. HOOOOOPS
5. Fore!

 

[YM!]

Thank you for 1, 21 and 24.

[MCKillswitch123]

Thank you for #4, #8, #10, #12, #14, #15, #16 and #25, as well as two HM's 

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Grades:

 

(some of these grades have been altered since their original review @SLAM!)

 

Winner Takes All - B-

Socksucker - F

Interceptors - C

Super Monkey Ball - C+

Go-Kart Gottlieb - C

By the Seaside - C/C+

Grand Theft Auto - C

 

The Crummy Shindig - B+/A-
Landslide - C+
Whinge & Cringe - F

Scales of Justice - B-/C+
Death is Not My Friend - C

 

Bugcatcher Boys - C+
Deep Sixed - C

The Last Victim - C-

Alakazam! - B/B-

American Spy - B/B-

 

Bikini - B

Molly & Emmett - C
Heart of the Amazon - C+
The Boy Who Hated Books - B-

Devil Bean - B-

Shadow of the Comet - C-

 

Martian Manhunter - B-

Kirby and the King’s Caper - B

AeroMobil: The Future is Now - C

The Man of the Jungle - C-/D+

Revenge Ex - C+
Rocket Hero - B-

Fatal Error - F

 

Matilda and the Night Children - A-

Xenoblade Chronicles: The Power of the Monado - C/C+
The Next Good Day - B/B-

Second Dimension: Last Hope - C-

 

Heremias - B+/A-

War on Drugs: America’s Modern Conflict - B

The Mirage - A-

HOOOOOPs - B-

Hearts of Fire: Vengeful Heart - D-

 

Dinosaucers - B-/C+
Gran Turismo - B-/C+

The Excursion - C+
Someone’s Grace - C

The Talons of the Hawk - D-

The First Water War - C

Scythe - C/C-

 

Acne - B

Seals of Honor - B-

Home Invasion: Part IV — Curtain Call - D+
Tumbleweed - D-

Raven Island - C/C+
Invader Zim - B/B+

Fore! - B-

Warmth - B-

Mechamen - B-

Sleepy Hollow - C/C+
Guinea Pigger - D-/F

Red Rabbit - B+
#Spooked - D

Grace and Mercy - B/B-

 

Land of the Crescent - B/B+
Mother Knows Better - C-

Tongue Tied - B-

Runaway Train - B+
Inspector Gadget & Penny - B-

Ultraman: Dark Future - D+
 

Father III: All Hell Breaks Loose - F (but A for entertainment value)

The Baddest of Them All - C

SSX - C+
Dancing in the Doghouse - B-/C+
The Queen Who Never Was - B+
Among Us - B/B-

Vixen and the Castle of Doom - B+/A-

Edited March 4, 2023 by cookie