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Eric Atreides

A Very Merry Christmas to All of BOT: 2023 Edition - By Eric

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Well...I’ve been doing this for three years now. I guess I have to go back to it again.


Many may remember that last year’s message was kind of a downer. I was going through some of the worst few months of my life. I was laid off from a job I loved and promised great opportunities in my future, scrambled to find a job that hired me in the worst possible time to get a new job, was given what seemed like a golden opportunity that blew up in my face, and was afraid over what my future is.


I wish I could say that 2023 was an improvement, and...I suppose it was. Because instead of anguish, much of the year I felt...nothing. I was thrust back into the world of retail, a place I hate, specifically in the world of Target. My position is one that, frankly, either won’t take me anywhere or take me into positions I never want to be in. I hate my boss, while my team, understaffed with limited resources, is as miserable as I am. I found some comfort in my job, enjoying the exercise it gives me and the massive amount of weight I’ve lost. But now, I’m stuck in overnights until the new year, miserable and isolated from my family and most of the world. And with an endless supply of new products brought from my Target overlords, an inability to find the time to take care of all my tasks, and being breathed down my neck while doing it...it’s been rough. Especially when I’m too tired to do anything else.


I still haven’t recovered from the trauma I felt when I got laid off and I don’t know if I ever will. Doesn’t help that my attempts at finding other jobs have led me nowhere. I don’t have enough experience in communications to advance my career, and I’m too experienced to go back to entry-level positions. I’m trapped in an awkward position, and I’m terrified that I may be stuck in a job where I’m severely overworked and severely underpaid forever.


Even the box office, something that keeps me off my mind, wasn’t helping. I don’t like failures or movies bombing. I hate how the movies I love are on a slow death. I hate how the evils of capitalism causes talented people to strike just for the right to be paid a living wage. I hate how the evils of capitalism cause movies to disappear forever. I hate that things are looking worse and worse for an industry I love and I can’t do anything to change that.


But of course I got through it like I do every year. And a lot of this was, as always, the company I made from BOT. People I could talk to, vent out my frustrations with, and really find some sort of closure from my pain. Whether it be my D&D group, who I love playing with every week, my stronger mutuals I’ve met here, many of whom I met in person for the first time, or just random posters I like to debate and chat with.


And I’m hoping, as we get into the new year, I can get out of retail and return to what I love. Being in communications, getting a chance to be a content writer, enjoying the comfort of an office job once again. But there’s no way I can know my future. But it’s always important to recognize there are people I love and who love me. And I will always cherish and love that feeling.


Hope you all enjoy your Christmas, and I can’t wait to share another message with you guys a year later.



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