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Ezen Baklattan

Spaghetti Kitchen: Y10

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Started from the bottom now we're here.

 

Heads or Tails - C-

The concept and cast is so intriguing that it's a shame almost no effort was put into the production or script. More oomph and this could have been a modern classic.

 

The Cube - B-

It explores a fun topic, but it doesn't go into enough depth to really stand out, and it does get a bit dull after a while.

 

The Call of the Revenant - D+

Some cool ideas are on display here, but they never cover any interesting ground, and the end result is a boring mess,

 

Timmy's Winter Vacation - B-

An affably pleasing, if ultimately forgettable, family film. It has its moments but not much else, yet it's not something adults will really abhor.

 

1989 - C+

If you're a fan of TSwizzle, you'll enjoy this serviceable documentary. If not, you won't miss much.

 

Ophidophobia - C

It was very promising at times, but the movie never surrenders to its silliness in a smart or sustainable way. It's honestly more of a C-, but the David Henrie kill gives it a boost.

 

Moses - C

Peter Jackson delivers some cool visuals, but it's still a miscat slog of the Biblical story. With so many incarnations, it really doesn't do a whole lot new to justify its own existence.

 

The Dissapointment - D-

It's a movie that reaches almost Free Birds level of bad. It's an absolutely horrible movie in which nothing works at all, and for that reason, I had a blast reading it. It may be CAYOM's version of the Room.

 

The Executioner - C-

Some of the grisly scenes are well directed, but otherwise it's cookie cutter action.

 

More reviews will come soon.

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Knocked a few more reviews out of the park.

 

The Good, The Bad, and the Mechanical - B+

A ridiculously enjoyable, if not superior, sequel to the hit predecessor. Schwarzenneger hams it up as the villain, and Maise Williams also gets a lot of fun things to do. Really cool direction and set pieces give it all the more oomph. Gotta love what they're doing at this studio.

 

That Was A Long Time Ago - D+

It has some decent performances, but it's never funny or unique enough to really make it worth your while. And I say that as someone predisposed to the works of Mrs. Blunt.

 

Black Friday - B-

It sparks a fun story, but it feels like a contradiction in that it goes too far on the side of silliness, but never goes all the way to create something more than a tonally bizarre mess. Give it more of an actual plot, and it actually could have been a real treat.

 

Kensington - B-

I enjoyed it, but it seems like it was directed on Autopilot.

 

Jurassic Knights - C+

The concept is really fun, but it's otherwise pretty formulaic and fails to keep up much in terms of captivation. 

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45 Seconds of Glory - C+

The presence of Hitler does feel a bit jarring at times, even if true to the story, and it's otherwise a decently made but forgettable sports drama.

 

Attack of the Movies - C

Nothing truly offensive or excruciating, but it could have afforded more smarts and effort.

 

City Launcher/World Builder - C

I'm not as negative as Rukaio about the Neeson casting, but otherwise the film is way more boring than it should have been. Some decent visuals and world building, but as a whole it feels half baked.

 

Shia LaBeouf: The Movie - F

Don't let your dreams be dreams, but you have to wonder just how ridiculous the person who dreamed up this movie was.

 

Runaway Man - C+

There's a decent amount of filmmaking prowess on display here, but nothing in the film is very compelling.

 

All Kinds of Bull - D

Yeah, sorry Ethan, but this was pretty awful. I literally wonder if they just wanted to make this movie so they can have the pun based title. Brad Pitt gives a performance that's way too melodramatic, and his relationship with the bull (and his dead wife, probably the one contribution that Christopher Nolan had) is forced as hell. Never mind the fact that it seems to drag on for an eternity with nothing really happening. Skip it.

 

Lazy River Squad - D+

A half baked, unlikable idea with no stakes and nothing very interesting - just a bunch of teenagers being dicks to kids.

 

The Day of the Tentacle - B

It could have used a bit more character development, and the raunchy humor is a bit jarring at times (and for Rogen and Goldberg, it feels a bit odd not seeing them go all the way; I think it could have been higher as a pure family film or a straight R-rated comedy), but it's not enough to detract from the fact that the film mostly really works, and it's a great time at the movies!

 

2 Sharkz - D-

I couldn't give 2 Shitz about this movie.

 

The Girl in the Red Dress - D+

Any movie with Kevin James is automatically a horror show, but while it does get some decent chills, it feels cliched, convoluted, and sometimes laughable.

 

Peter & The Starcatchers - B-

It could have used richer development, but there's enough fun in here to make it a pleasant family attraction over the hectic summer months. Tom Holland also feels a bit too old to play Peter Pan, and Ruffalo's Smee feels under-utilized.

 

Sam Smith: Stay With Me - Obligatory three line music doc filler/10

Yep.

 

The Pixies In The Backyard - C-

Ultimately harmless, but very uninteresting and uninspired. It at least shuts up the tykes.

 

The Wedding Prey - D

So yeah, remember how I said one film had some of the worst casting I've seen in a CAYOM film? Well this is it. I have no problem with Melissa McCarthy and Scarlett Johanson being lesbian parents (except that they lack chemistry), but, you know, their daughter shouldn't be OLDER than one of them! Not to mention the fact that Reese Witherspoon could be Anna Kendrick and Adam Driver's mom. (Seriously, Reese is 7 years older than Adam!) But I digress. The film is just bad, mean spirited, and lacks any sense of real wit or connections to anything interesting. I guess it's good that we have a Guess Who's Coming To Dinner equivalent for the LGBT, but this film just doesn't work at all.

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And that my friend is what happens when you have a decent idea on the last day and want to rush it out so that way you don't feel like you kept the deadline open for no reason. If I actually cared about the idea, I planned on fleshing it out as a TMF spiritual sequel... but then I realized I didn't give a shit

 

Probably should've done my "aunts" idea instead. Just wanted to do a Scar-Jo/McCarthy teamup lol

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And that my friend is what happens when you have a decent idea on the last day and want to rush it out so that way you don't feel like you kept the deadline open for no reason.

 

Bahaha that's almost exactly what I did with My Favorite Scientist. With Cassia, Scavenger Wars, and Amulet II postponed I didn't want the animation slate to be completely blank (since Rukaio hadn't put up PMD yet) so I merged two scripts to create MFS...that's why it's so disjointed

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