Ethan Hunt Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 6 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said: What moments, specifically? I do have some form of anxiety and depression, so a lot of it was kind of coming from personal experience, so I did want to hear your thoughts. In general I think the film kinda paints mental illness in fairly broad strokes which I don't think is inheritanly bad but I think as a result it kind of lacks the emotional punch to get to an A+ for me. And there was one quote near the end of the film that I can't quite recall exactly what it was that I remember think just seemed completely false in my experience (but of course that could just be my experience) to me but can't tell you what it was off the top 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Just now, Ethan Hunt said: In general I think the film kinda paints mental illness in fairly broad strokes which I don't think is inheritanly bad but I think as a result it kind of lacks the emotional punch to get to an A+ for me. And there was one quote near the end of the film that I can't quite recall exactly what it was that I remember think just seemed completely false in my experience (but of course that could just be my experience) to me but can't tell you what it was off the top I’ll definitely try to tweak it so it more specifically focuses on anxiety and depression. I did try to do that in a few places (a pivotal scene involves her having a panic attack) but I definitely see how that can be done more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Hunt Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 (edited) Also maybe play with the romantic interest (don't remember his name) and his own struggles with mental disease a little more to kinda show how different people deal with it in different stages (as him seeming to be someone who has possibly seemed and received care for his problems in the past.) and also deal with the problem of him awkwardly disappearing for a little bit. Edited March 23, 2018 by Ethan Hunt 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 @Isle of Pasta The hour of judgment is upon you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Well I’m about to die. Shame, looked forward to writing the rest of the Spark movies. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 (edited) Since we're all discussing the film in this thread I'll just share my complete thoughts here. (Spoilers abound) Cookie's Corner's Preliminary Review of 'Notes From the Otherspace' ...This is good. I believe your worries over Anna Kendrick's characterization, while understandable, are not needed, for you pulled her off most successfully. Using myself and my own issues with social anxiety and depression as a primary source, I can relate to almost everything her character is going through, and it is pulled off with a tact and grace that did not bother me at any point (at least when all the pieces fall into place). I can see where @Ethan Hunt is coming from about her condition being a bit generalized, but given that the type of anxiety and depression is unique to every person that suffers from it I would argue that keeping it a bit more general does help make it relate to more people. This sentiment may not be shared by everyone, but for me if you're going to make changes to her character it should be minimal enough to not break the thread you've woven. If there's one major issue I have is that the 'Otherspace' suffers from a mild case of the Bridge to Terabithia syndrome, in that the fantasy sequences, at least for the first half of the film, don't connect as much to the real world as I would've liked. A bit more obvious connections to Meg's current situation would've made those scenes a bit tighter. This issue vanishes during the second half of the film where the connections between the current situation in the fantasy world become much more direct and they work far better in my opinion. Also, Gem: The movie introduces her as if she was the manifestation of Kendrick facing the reality of her situation and her need to grow out of her "childish things" (this is not an interpretation by the way, Gem spells it out). Then in her next appearance it changes to her being the manifestation of Meg's self-loathing and self-destructive behavior. This manifestation pays off very well, but it isn't consistent with her first appearance. I would argue you need to change Gem's first appearance or at least cut out that jokey exchange between her and Meg during their first encounter. The supporting cast perform admirably although I would've liked to have seen Tyler be given more screentime, especially since he vanishes for a large part of the second act. The way Meg's boss treats her is somewhat questionable mainly because we lack context behind his overly kind and forgiving demeanor to her. Other than that the cast is very solid. Minor issues that I would like you to address: - During an early part where she goes to shop for food she apparently arrives at the grocery store, but then decides to not shop for food and just go get fast food as a thunderstorm is closing in, even though she's already at the grocery store and buying groceries and transporting them home would've been faster than driving around looking for a fast food venue. This is a minor but confusing character decision. Probably needs clarification that she doesn't actually arrive at the grocery store and that she changes her mind before that. - Meg lying to Tyler was understandable and developed on, but her telling a different story about her accident to her mother was unnecessary and made no sense. What would she lose by telling her mother the truth about her just going out to buy groceries? Must be a writing oversight. - Speaking of oversights, there are numerous grammatical errors (wrong pronouns, misplaced quotation marks, the earlier mentioned misplaced sentences etc.). A review should be in order. - The movie appears to claim that Meg spends between 9:04 P.M and 5:36 A.M in REM sleep. This is not how REM sleep works. Clarification would do here. - I can let this slide if the other issues are addressed but the company leak causing massive ramifications within a week is highly questionable.Preliminary score:A- Edited March 26, 2018 by cookie 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Thank you guys for the feedback - I really appreciate it. Since most of the reviews are positive, the changes will be fairly small, but I should work on it this weekend. One note I have about Tyler’s disappearance for much of the second half relates to how Meg sinks further into her depression and loses contact with others, including him. I may add a scene from his perspective in the second act, though. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 6 hours ago, cookie said: Speaking of oversights, there are numerous grammatical errors (wrong pronouns, misplaced quotation marks, the earlier mentioned misplaced sentences etc.). A review should be in order. Yeah that was one of my problems as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 With the deadline extended and Spring break next week, I’m going to revise My Peoples but before that would anyone be interested in a pre-read? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I would! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said: I would! I’ll send it later today after school. Edited March 23, 2018 by YourMother the Edgelord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 44 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: I’ll send it later today after school. Send me a pre-read too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Hunt Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 2 hours ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: With the deadline extended and Spring break next week, I’m going to revise My Peoples but before that would anyone be interested in a pre-read? I'd love to 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I love how we’re all helping each other. ❤️ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiccup23 Posted March 23, 2018 Author Share Posted March 23, 2018 Anybody wanna pre-read Bartimaeus and the Amulet of Samarkand or Earth Defense Force? I feel good about the Chrysalids so I'm not gonna have that be pre-read.....for now I think haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 1 minute ago, Hiccup23 said: Anybody wanna pre-read Bartimaeus and the Amulet of Samarkand or Earth Defense Force? I feel good about the Chrysalids so I'm not gonna have that be pre-read.....for now I think haha. I'm going to be working on Scavenger Wars all weekend but I can read them Monday/Tuesday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Hunt Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 9 minutes ago, Hiccup23 said: Anybody wanna pre-read Bartimaeus and the Amulet of Samarkand or Earth Defense Force? I feel good about the Chrysalids so I'm not gonna have that be pre-read.....for now I think haha. Sure. I'll read one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 10 minutes ago, Hiccup23 said: Anybody wanna pre-read Bartimaeus and the Amulet of Samarkand or Earth Defense Force? I feel good about the Chrysalids so I'm not gonna have that be pre-read.....for now I think haha. I would love to see the new version of Bartimaeus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I feel confident in Lilo and Stitch. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiccup23 Posted March 23, 2018 Author Share Posted March 23, 2018 I am really hoping Redeeming Love can have strong reviews and legs. I am heavily banking on the female/Christian audience to carry it. It would be awesome if it topped $100M domestic. Then all of my three female driven May flicks will have topped $100M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
