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Spagheditary

Spaghett Kitchen: We're Far From The Shallows (and Y1) Now

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Tonight: All Remaining Reviews For Q1 and Q2

 

Tomorrow: Q3 and Fortnight

 

Monday: Actuals Start, Q4 and Top 25.

 

I will only post reviews for Q1 and Q2, but scores for everything will be unveiled after my top 25.

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8 minutes ago, Spagheditary said:

I will only post reviews for Q1 Andy Q2

Aw man almost all my good shit's in the second half XD

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Just now, Xillix said:

Aw man almost all my good shit's in the second half XD

I will keep my word and give longer reviews to films that were requested many moons ago.

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8 minutes ago, Spagheditary said:

I will keep my word and give longer reviews to films that were requested many moons ago.

...all of which are from the first half :P

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14 minutes ago, Xillix said:

...all of which are from the first half :P

Image result for shrug gif

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FEBRUARY

 

Blue and Gold - 7.5/10

From Waverly Place to Hollywood's A List. Selena must be looking at this and Jonny Jonny with disdain.

 

Reality Shift - 8/10

A delightfully twisted black comedy with a strong premise. Payoff isn't perfect, but it's a wicked treat most of the time.

 

Pokemon: Rise of the Rockets - 7.5/10

If the first film was driven more by the excitement of seeing Pokemon come to life before our very eyes, this carries it on by building the world and adding tension in a beefed up role from Team Rocket. A bit slight, but always entertaining, with exciting battles, a heartwarming lead performance by Rice, good casting, and a great sense of atmosphere.

 

Son of Rosemary - 2/10

Have we had a sub 2x-multiplier in this game yet for a big release?

 

Frosted - 1.5/10

Give this one the cold shoulder.

 

Imagine Dragons: The 3D Concert - 4/10

I guess if you like their music you'll like it?

 

The Female Man - 6.5/10

Certainly better than DuVernay's last film. An interesting premise with great acting and cinematography, but probably needed another writing and editing pass.

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MARCH

 

One Piece: The Journey Begins - 5/10

Fingers crossed the journey continues strong after the waters have been tested.

 

Khahn Bernarda Alba - 6/10

Often intriguing, but too easily veers into ludicrous melodrama without a real sense of character development.

 

Pillars of Eternity: The Hollow Vale - 8/10

Size doesn't matter, performance does.

 

Spirit Curse - 4.5/10

The unique structure and some decent atmosphere almost saves it from being left out with the other dreck of horror this year. Almost.

 

Marked Up Time - 7.5/10

A messy, bizarre, and exciting Millerandlordian romp.

 

Can You Imagine - 9/10

Let's have Ethan and Meg team up, @YourMother the Edgelord

 

Carnosaur - 6/10

It's almost ridiculously cheesy and corny, not to mention predictable, but it's still a fun, shockingly gory time at the movies. Better than both Jurassic World films.

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APRIL

 

Broadway Selects: The Spongebob Musical - 7/10

A great, fun musical, but it loses some of the impact after being filmed. (NOTE: Filmed productions and concerts will be reviewed, but excluded from my Top 25)

 

Mass Effect - 8.5/10

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite film at the Citadel Cinema.

 

Safari Trail - 5.5/10

A fairly standard size nature doc, with nice and friendly animals unlike....

 

Earth Day - 4/10

It's so illogical and on the nose that it's almost enjoyable to watch ironically.

 

Our City: Growth - 5/10

The short film veers quickly into WTF territory. And so does the movie. With a baffling plot that lacks coherent interest and heart, it trades the simple beauty of the first for a more complicated mess.

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MAY

 

Treasure Planet: Gauntlet of Midas - 7/10

It's not quite as strong as other space-faring adventures in the game, but it provides fun world building and energy, not to mention exciting visuals, to make for fun summer entertainment, if not much else. We do get to see Hardy at his Hardiest despite meh material to work with, so that's also quite a delight, but Scroop kinda shows up out of nowhere.

 

Earthsong: Volume 1 - The Haven's Guard - 8/10

The film deserves laudable points for stunning visuals, ambitious storytelling, and some wonderfully exhilirating world building. The characters don't fully work and lack the shine that the best characters in CAYOM have, but the world itself is the center stage for me - even at its densest, I was fully taken by it. It's not a perfect film by any means, and that ending is understandably going to raise eyebrows. But damned if I can't wait to see what happens next.

 

Murky - 4/10

A bit amusing, but not nearly as clever as it thinks it is.

 

American Dragon: Darkness Rising - 7/10

Already reviewed, I won't waste time dragon my feet.

 

Cabana Boys - 2.5/10

Oh, how I tire of your man-child schtick, Adam.

 

Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. the Loch Ness Monster - 6.5/10

Exactly what it says on the tin.

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JUNE

 

Brave - 4.5/10

A lazy rehash of the animated film, and without any real reason to update it and next to nothing new brought to the table, it's one of the weakest live action retellings in the game. I was hoping some something more, erm, Brave.

 

The Odyssey: Homecoming - 10/10

Not the first time I've connected Hugh Jackman to Blitzkrieg Bop.

 

Darkness Dwells Deep - 5/10

A touch more enjoyable then your typical horror film, thanks to some fun with sinkhole madness, but don't expect too much otherwise.

 

High School Musical: Reunion - 7.5/10

At once silly, nostalgic, yet a complete joy to watch, High School Musical is a charming (if at times illogical) revisiting of some of our generation's favorite characters. (Yes, I was born in 1995.) Jackman and Miranda get to have a lot of fun in new roles too. My one complaint is that the new songs feel kinda shoehorned in and mess with the flow of the film otherwise. Their presence was understandable, though. That said, I still had a blast with it.

 

Paradise Lost - 5.5/10

A visually stunning retelling of Bible stories seems great on paper, but it quickly becomes obnoxiously sanctimonious and painfully dull.

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5 hours ago, Spagheditary said:

Treasure Planet: Gauntlet of Midas - 7/10

It's not quite as strong as other space-faring adventures in the game, but it provides fun world building and energy, not to mention exciting visuals, to make for fun summer entertainment, if not much else. We do get to see Hardy at his Hardiest despite meh material to work with, so that's also quite a delight, but Scroop kinda shows up out of nowhere.

 

5 hours ago, Spagheditary said:

High School Musical: Reunion - 7.5/10

At once silly, nostalgic, yet a complete joy to watch, High School Musical is a charming (if at times illogical) revisiting of some of our generation's favorite characters. (Yes, I was born in 1995.) Jackman and Miranda get to have a lot of fun in new roles too. My one complaint is that the new songs feel kinda shoehorned in and mess with the flow of the film otherwise. Their presence was understandable, though. That said, I still had a blast with it.

 

These are both pleasant surprises.

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No more reviewed from here on out, with the exception of Fortnight, either today or tomorrrow @4815162342.

 

Will try to marathon read everything in the next few days.

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