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Y9 Academy Awards Ceremony!!

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*The Oscars begins with something that appears to be a clip from Oscars past… Ariana DeBose accepting her Oscar for West Side Story.*

 

Ariana DeBose: If I took the time to say thank you to every single beautiful person who has lifted me up on this stage you'd find people would be sitting here until next Oscars, so I'm not - 

 

*Suddenly, loud play-off music begins to play, the pounding of a piano!*

 

DeBose: I’m sorry, are you really playing me off?

 

*The camera pans over to reveal Andrew Garfield, playing the play-off music on a piano. He begins to sing.*

 

 

Andrew Garfield:
Stop the speech
Time is out
Time to regroup
Before we kick you out.

 

*DeBose joins Garfield by the piano.*

 

DeBose:
Freeze the frame
Use our shot
Time to refocus
Before it’s all for naught

 

*The piano quickly rolls away, as Garfield and DeBose storm the front of the stage.*

 

Garfield: 
Years are getting shorter
Although they’re feeling much longer
Reached the end of this one
Yes, it’s time for the Oscars

 

DeBose:

Don’t panic, don’t jump ship
Can’t fight it, like delays
At least it happens only once a year..

 

Garfield + DeBose: 
They’re saying “The winner is…”
You just wanna lay down and cry
Not just another winner
It’s the 9th Oscars!

 

Garfield: 
Why can’t we get more movies?
We still feel like we’re missing some
But hey we made it
That’s the year,
What can we do?
What can we dooooo?

 

DeBose: Andy, don’t feel too bad!
Garfield: Why? I wanted to see so many great movies this year that were delayed or lost to the ravages of non-existence!
DeBose: We still had plenty of great movies come out last year. Hell, we’re here to celebrate them. After all…

 

 

 

DeBose:
I like to go to the movies!
Such a variety to see!
How can you possibly be -

 

Garfield:
Negative about these nominees?

 

DeBose: 
A Queen That Never Was

 

Garfield:
A guardian named Heremias

 

DeBose: 
A shindig that’s pretty crummy

 

Garfield:
Some very freaky Acne!

 

DeBose:
What if you spied in America?
With Jack Ryan in America?
Western Mirage in America?

 

Garfield:
Martian Manhuntin’ America

 

DeBose:
Matilda and Night Children
Land of the Crescent and Invader Zim
I’m getting Tongue Tied here

 

Garfield:
Then I think it’s time for why you’re here

 

*The music stops.*

 

DeBose: You can’t rhyme here with here, Andrew. That’s not okay.
Garfield: Look, we all know what everyone wants you to do here. It’s annoying, but it’s your thing.
DeBose: Sigh! I know. I suppose it’s time. Drop the beat.

 

All the performers in the room
Leading and supporting
All here I presume?

 

Omar Sy
Jessie B
Ashly and
Ashley with a E

 

Dame Emma love your form-th
Robert you were great in Warmth
Kenny B you were a hoot
Zoey I loved you and your swimsuit

 

Diego Luna was a king
Kirsten Dunst the Next Good Thing
Phoenix, Joaq you're a genius
And Eva Green you are all of us!

 

DeBose: There, you happy?
Garfield: Sure.
DeBose: Let’s wrap this up, shall we? 

 

*DeBose signals to the orchestra, which quickly begins to play the end of 30/90 https://youtu.be/PMGqtlvkkgU?t=224, forcing Garfield to begin again.)

 

Garfield: 
Into my hands now
The mic is passed
You want these prizes
But not too fast.

 

The awards calling
It’s now or neverland
Why can’t we finish this on time, and

 

Year Nine’s Oscars!
Year Nine’s Oscars!
Year Nine’s Oscars!
Year Nine’s Oscars!

 

Time for the Oscars
Ninth Oscars
What will happen???

 

DeBose: 
Ninth Oscars!
Ninth Oscars!

 

DeBose + Garfield:
Welcome to the Oscars!

 

Voiceover: The Y9 Academy Awards, hosted by Ariana DeBose and Andrew Garfield, will continue in a moment!

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Please welcome to the stage, Brigette Lundy-Paine!

 

Brigette Lundy-Paine: There’s an incredibly important and pivotal role in actors supporting each other. Whether it’s the character on screen, or how you treat each other on set, it’s the actor’s job to really support one another. This year’s diverse set of nominees includes actors from France, Korea, and Westeros; telling stories about how to support spies and queens. Here are the nominees for Best Supporting Actor.

 

Kenneth Branagh, The Queen Who Never Was

 

The scene changes to the following morning, as Jaehaerys is getting his armor put on. Alysanne, Aemon, Ryam Redwine and more try to convince Jaehaerys to choose another champion, he is too old for this. Ryam says that as the commander of the Kingsguard it is his duty to fight for the king. “Let me fight for you here.” Jaehaerys, cold, stern, and with fire, says it was his daughter who died, this is his fight. He says he may be old compared to Beesbury, but unlike Beesbury, who has fought in tournaments, “I have fought for real.”

 

James McAvoy, The Queen Who Never Was

 

Afterwards, that night, Rhaenys finds him alone and says she saw him fly, it was the greatest thing she has ever seen. She sits on his knee and Aemon tells her that this is her birthright. One day, it will be her flying alongside him, and another day after that, it will be her leading the charge. She asks him to promise, and he does. It will all be hers one day.

 

Lee Soon-jae, Warmth

 

Son asks if it was the dog; Enrique claims it was someone of less intelligence, but greater wide knowledge of the world. Son asks Enrique his motives for wanting spiritual classes with him, and Enrique justifies himself by saying that he feels pressure mounting on himself... age is catching up to him, but it just doesn't get any easier, and he wants to understand exactly what needs to happen in order for him to feel more alive. Son, who understands Enrique is blind, asks him if he has a strong visual mind, and Enrique says he lived most of his life with good sight, so he thinks he does. Son agrees to give Enrique spiritual lessons.

 

Omar Sy, American Spy

 

Sankara: You know I know what you are.
Marie: I don’t know any such thing.
Sankara: (whispering) What is your agenda here? (kisses Marie on the cheek)
Marie: I’m working on a project for the embassy.
Sankara: (kisses Marie on the cheek again and speaks softly) What… is your agenda here?
Marie: (laughs lightly) You’re trying to charm information out of me.
Sankara: Do you have information to give?
Marie: I do.
Sankara: And what’s that? (kisses Marie on the neck)
Marie: The United States believes that suppressing political parties is dangerous. You can’t create a real democracy in that situation.
Sankara: Do you have allies in the country?
Marie: No.
Sankara: Who in the government works for yours?
Marie: No one.
Sankara: (presses his body against Marie) Who in the government works for yours?
Marie: (looks him deep in the eye) No one.
Sankara: (abruptly stops and stands) You don’t understand this place, but you think you know what’s right for it. Democracy isn’t a thing that you conform a society to. We can’t just import a system from the West. Real democracy has to develop in response to the needs of that society. (gets up and starts leaving)
Marie: Thomas… good night.

 

 

Tom Wiaschiha, Red Rabbit

 

The meet between Zaitzev and the Foleys happens at a department store, with Mary approaching him under cover of asking his advice on buying a fur hat. After some cautious verbal dancing where Zaitzev has to be persuaded that Mary is not a KGB agent but is affiliated with Ed, they get into business, with Zaitzev saying that he has valuable information but he wants transit to the West for himself and his family. Mary agrees to his terms, provided that the information is both satisfactory and is true, and they set a time for a second physical meeting.

 

Lundy-Paine: And the Oscar goes to…

 

 

 

KENNETH BRANAGH, THE QUEEN WHO NEVER WAS! 

Branagh: Thank you so much! As you all know, or at least I hope you know, my original home was the theater and it’s so nice to get one of these for my first love, acting. Of course, I’d like to thank George R. R. Martin for creating this wild world of Westeros, and Michelle for thinking I’d be a good fit to play this king who, er, was. It was a pleasure getting to work with the entire cast here full of fellow practicers of this fine art, either actors I knew before or ones I got to meet on this fine production. Thank you so much for this, cheers!

 

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Please welcome Elizabeth Debicki and Keanu Reeves to the stage!

 

Debicki: You might know me from Holland Hannah.

Reeves: And me from.. Yeah.

Debicki: In both of our action movies, we’re known for a booming sound, crazy choreography, and a really entertaining time.

Reeves: Yet, the unsung hero of our films are the cinematographer. If you cannot see the action, there is no point to the film.

Debicki: And that goes for any movie, not just ours with crazy fights. Here are the nominees for Best Cinematography:

 

American Spy

Land of the Crescent

The Mirage

The Queen Who Never Was

Warmth

 

Reeves: And the winner is…

 

 

THE MIRAGE!

Recipient: Oh my goodness! I wasn’t expecting this, I didn’t prepare a speech. Thank you Fede for giving me this opportunity; when I took it, I never once thought I’d be here right now. Thank you so much!!

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Garfield: The first of our song nominees comes from an animated movie, about a crazy alien who wants to take over the world.

DeBose: But really, like most of us he just wants to have fun, fun, fun.

Garfield: That's not really the context of that song, but sure, why not! Here's CHVRCHES performing their Oscar-nominated song, "Fun, Fun, Fun"!

 

*CHVRCHES comes out to a green stage, vaguely colored like Invader Zim. They play their song and it's pretty cool.*

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Please welcome to the stage, Naomi Scott!

 

Naomi Scott: Visual effects are a necessity in order to make the magic of the movies come to life. The more expensive the movie, the more pivotal they are in making us immersed in the storytelling that is so important to all our hopes and dreams. Here are the nominees for Best Visual Effects.

 

Martian Manhunter

Mechaman

The Queen Who Never Was

Rocket Hero

Second Dimension: Last Hope

 

 

And the Oscar goes to…

 

 

 

THE QUEEN WHO NEVER WAS!

 

Recipient: Thank you so much for this. Bringing Westeros to the big screen was of pivotal importance to us as we both wanted to remain faithful to what people expected of us, but we also wanted to bring you something you couldn't get on TV at home. Thank you so much.

 

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Please welcome to the stage, Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson!

 

Liam Neeson: You know what we're here to present.

Chuck Norris: Even when our movies bomb, we're royalty in this category.

Liam Neeson: Stunt choreographers and action is what made our careers. Here are the nominees for Best Use of Action.

 

Devil Bean

Mechaman

The Queen Who Never Was

Rocket Hero

Second Dimension: Last Hope

 

And the Oscar goes to…

 

 

 

DEVIL BEAN

 

Recipient: WE GOT THAT DEVIL BEAAAAAN!

 

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3 minutes ago, Blankments said:

Please welcome to the stage, Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson!

 

Liam Neeson: You know what we're here to present.

Chuck Norris: Even when our movies bomb, we're royalty in this category.

Liam Neeson: Stunt choreographers and action is what made our careers. Here are the nominees for Best Use of Action.

 

Devil Bean

Mechaman

The Queen Who Never Was

Rocket Hero

Second Dimension: Last Hope

 

And the Oscar goes to…

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Oscars went with the total chaos action, not a shocker

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DeBose: This next song is a movie I wish I had been a part of.

Garfield: It was a little crummy you weren't invited.

DeBose: Come on man, you didn't even try. 

Garfield: Sorry, you can finish the intro.

DeBose: Please welcome my friend Mike Faist, along with Lily James, Brittany Snow and the rest of the cast of The Crummy Shindig performing both Oscar-nominated songs "Make It Happen" and "Who's That Dame"!!!

 

*Both Crummy Shindig songs are performed together in a medley, with all the nominated actors included in the performance. It's a dazzling show with lots of dancing!*

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Please welcome to the stage, Imogen Poots!

 

Imogen Poots: As animation and motion-capture become such a pivotal part of our year's films, it became necessary to award the actors involved. This category is an honor I graciously received last year, the award for Best Voice Actor or Actress in a Supporting Role. The nominees this year hail from three of the year's most-beloved animated films, and they prove that if animation is cinema, then voice-acting is key to cinema's success. Here are the nominees.

 

Isaac Ryan Brown, Matilda and the Night Children

 

Chill is at a loss, saying that she knew they were gone but didn’t realize they were unwanted. Screech comforts Chill but are also out of it as Needles starts to damage some of the rides, stating he knew he was always a lost cause. Matilda tries to stop him as Needles accidentally scratches Matilda, drawing blood. Needles notes they try every day but admits feelings of isolation and fear as he asks Matilda how he moves forward. Matilda ponders this herself before responding that you take it a day at a time.

 

Ashly Burch, Heremias

 

They camp for a short bit, and as Eckit goes off to stand watch and Cobben sits alone to do some reading, the girls talk a bit. Selena and Anna trade a little banter and Catherine notes she wishes she had a sister to bounce off of. “Not that you two aren’t family, but you know what I mean.” Selena says she knows, her and Anna took a while before they got close. Anna asks Catherine if she’s positive she has no family, and Catherine says no family that ever looked for her. She pulls out a very old-timey looking photograph (think late 19th century) that shows her parents when young together, saying it’s one of the few things she has. We see Catherine’s mother has a nice summer shirt and skirt on, with Catherine’s belt buckle, and Catherine says she wears it to feel close to her mom.

 

Aimee Carrero, Heremias

 

Marcus chases after Myria, asking her to stop, and Myria finally does and turns around, tears forming. She says “You people have the luxury of being far away, but my home is under threat every day, and if your wizard is right there may not be many days left.” Marcus tries to talk but she says she has to confess something. “I wasn’t here just as a guest. My mother sent me here to get your support against Lavendra, to help us protect our home, and she told me to befriend you in order to do so. And I do want to be your friend, but I have to go.” She turns to leave and Marcus grabs her arm and asks her to wait. She turns back, and Marcus, holding her hand, says she doesn’t have to convince him. He’s willing to help, even it means leaving right now.

 

Keith David, Matilda and the Night Children

 

 

Verity then informs him of duppies being back as Hofu is elated, noting that Verity will be able to make it up to him after all for not helping him, which led to Hofu’s situation. Verity asks if he should dispose of them as the ring glows, forcing Verity to punch himself. Hofu scolds him as he needs them alive for now. In the reggaeton-themed villain song, You and I, Hofu reveals that a spell, in conjunction with the red moon on Cropover night and duppy essence, will free Hofu. Verity notes he does have an idea of getting the duppies in line.

 

 

Diego Luna, Kirby and the King's Caper

 

Meta Knight sternly scans the map as Kawasaki says “I’d ask how you’re finding him, but you clearly know more about these Star Beings than I do.” Meta Knight figures out that by now, Kirby’s approaching the Great Cave. Kawasaki says, “the Great Cave?!” Meta Knight flamboyantly tosses the map in the air and marches to the middle of the dining room. All of the diners stare at Meta Knight, and they shudder at the sight.

“Behold, citizens of Dream Land,” he exclaims, “the power of the Star Beings, and the acts begotten by the sky’s demands for order and peace!”

Meta Knight spins his cape and teleports away. The diners gasp at Meta Knight vanishing before their eyes.

 

 

Poots: And the winner is...

 

 

ISAAC RYAN BROWN, MATILDA AND THE NIGHT CHILDREN!

 

Isaac Ryan Brown: Holy - I can't swear on TV my mom would kill me! I want to thank my parents for getting me into acting, Ashton and Everett for casting me, and all you guys for giving me this really cool award!! Thank you so much!!!!

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In lieu of purchasing a spot, Numerator Pictures has instead purchased an entire ad break to premiere the opening to an upcoming major movie:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

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Please welcome to the stage, Asa Butterfield and Jake T. Austin!

 

Asa Butterfield: Let's just get to it.

Jake T. Austin: Sound is important.

Butterfield: Sound has two awards at this ceremony.

Austin: And as your premiere duo team of superheroes, we thought it'd be best for us to take these on.

Butterfield: The first is Best Sound Mixing. We would explain the difference to you but honestly, they do that every year. These are the sound guys. Here are the noms.

 

The Crummy Shindig

Heremias

The Mirage

The Queen Who Never Was

Rocket Hero

 

And the Oscar goes to…

 

 

THE MIRAGE

 

Recipient: Whoa! Thank you so much!! I never saw this coming back when I signed on for this; I didn't know what Fede had in store for us on this project. Thank you so much, I will always remember this night!

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Austin: And I get to do Best Sound Editing. These are the guys who do the dirty work of editing. It's a party. Here's the noms.

 

Heremias

Matilda and the Night Children

Mechaman

The Queen Who Never Was

Rocket Hero

 

And the Oscar goes to…

 

 

THE QUEEN WHO NEVER WAS

 

Recipient #1: Mr. Austin, that introduction was not appropriate. I cannot believe the best night of my life was ruined by such a flippant presenter of my life's work. This should be a great time, but this poor producing and your arrogant - 

*The mic is cut as 30/90 blares in the auditorium*

Recipient #2: (shouting over play-off music) Uh, thanks!

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Garfield: Despite what you may expect, the following song isn't from a movie starring Jon Voight and Eric Roberts.

DeBose: Dang, look at this little cinephile.

Garfield: Playing at the end of Runaway Train, here's Soul Asylum with "Make You Care"!

 

*Soul Asylum comes out and plays a fairly restrained but still film-accurate version of their song.*

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