Xillix' (Harshly) Critical Reviews, Y2

[Hiccup23]

Just now, cookie said:

Is Life After Death Brandrybook-level bad because I don't want the worst movie of the year to be on the same date twice in a row (and with a major tentpole of my own releasing at the same time).

I'd say definitely not. Like I get where his criticism is coming from but at the same time think he is reading too much into it.

 

FYI: The group with the drug isnt representing all non religious people. It is a small organization seeking to destroy religion. No where in thr film do i say all atheists are out to get Christians. Also it isn't set in a world where only atheists are terrorists. No where in the film does it say that. Not sure where @Xillix is getting that from. 

[Hiccup23]

9 minutes ago, Xillix said:

Being partway thru June I can tell you you're wrong.

And the plot thickens lol

[Rorschach]

6 minutes ago, Hiccup23 said:

And the plot thickens lol

Indeed 

[Xillix]

Damnation Alley

"It reach is sometimes beyond its grasp, given a relatively modest budget, but what's here is at the very least an exciting enough adventure for fans of the post-apocalypse genre, and one which is significantly better-constructed than the prior film. Of course, for some, that will strip away the lo-fi nostalgic charm."

 

Rise of the Dead

"To be completely honest, I'm sick of zombie flicks. Still, this one's not bad; it's got a suitably foreboding atmosphere and, of course, Emmerich is well-versed in the kind of big-budget chaos the plot requires. If you can forgive it for being an obvious rip-off of World War Z, it's pretty entertaining - and, in fact, is a minor improvement on that film in a few key areas."

 

Lord of the Flies

"While it doesn't really add anything new to the oft-told tale, Boyle's rendition is still probably among its better adaptations. Technical merits are good, suspense is plentiful, and the message is more relevant than ever."

 

The Odyssey: The Spoils of War

"A rousing adventure, smartly-structured and well-paced, with enough humor and spectacle to appease the summer blockbuster crowds. Technical merits are excellent."

 

The Beach House

"The remarkable miscasting of Anna Faris as the lead in a supposedly serious horror film is just one of Beach House's many problems. Rushed, generic, uneventful, and painfully un-scary, the film is also full of inexplicable bits - why, for instance, did this ghost wait until AFTER the protagonist was married to bother giving her any sort of warning about her hubby? What does she have to do with the titular house?"

 

The Simulation

"A bit confusing in places - how was Nadine, a simulee herself, controlling the taxi driver? - The Simulation is still overall a well-done sci-fi flick, even if it's not terribly original."

 

Fab 5

"While there's an argument to be made that the plot is regressive - finding a group of otherwise liberated women determined to find themselves men because of societal pressure - it's unlikely any sort of political or philosophical statement was really intended. At the very least they don't settle down into housewives. On the surface, anyway, the movie is fairly funny and boasts a solid cast."

[Xillix]

20 minutes ago, Hiccup23 said:

I'd say definitely not. Like I get where his criticism is coming from but at the same time think he is reading too much into it.

 

FYI: The group with the drug isnt representing all non religious people. It is a small organization seeking to destroy religion. No where in thr film do i say all atheists are out to get Christians. Also it isn't set in a world where only atheists are terrorists. No where in the film does it say that. Not sure where @Xillix is getting that from. 

I certainly didn't assume the group represented ALL atheists, and my review never said ALL terrorists are atheists - but when a single athiest terrorist organization infiltrates the vatican and pulls of several mass-casualty events at landmarks all over the world, that'd certainly make them the predominant one, which is what I actually said.

[cookie]

So your top five of the first half of the year would be:

 

On the Beach

Our City

Lord of the Flies

The Odyssey

El Dorado/Bounty Hamster/The Simulation?

[Rorschach]

Wow, that is amazing. Considering I wrote the last 2/3rds of the film over the course of two days to get it out before the deadline, this feels like a Christmas miracle. Still, glad to see that you liked it. If I might ask, what were some of your flaws with the film/best parts of it?

[Xillix]

5 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

Wow, that is amazing. Considering I wrote the last 2/3rds of the film over the course of two days to get it out before the deadline, this feels like a Christmas miracle. Still, glad to see that you liked it. If I might ask, what were some of your flaws with the film/best parts of it?

Well it definitely could've used another proof-read cuz there were some sloppy bits in terms of actual writing (at one point you introduce two characters and accidentally say both of them are played by Tim Roth). I was worried that having the big army battles towards the beginning of the film would make it feel lopsided, but there's enough action later on with the giants and the gods that it felt fairly balanced. I was sad we didn't actually "see" Achilles' death but on the other hand it makes sense structurally, because that would've meant another military battle that'd be repetitive and throw off the pacing. I thought you picked a pretty good point in the story to split off for the ending as well.

 

@cookie I guess out of those last three I'd probably say Bounty Hamster was my favorite read but El Dorado is technically better-done plotwise?

Edited January 11, 2018 by Xillix

[Rorschach]

5 minutes ago, Xillix said:

Well it definitely could've used another proof-read cuz there were some sloppy bits in terms of actual writing (at one point you introduce two characters and accidentally say both of them are played by Tim Roth). I was worried that having the big army battles towards the beginning of the film would make it feel lopsided, but there's enough action later on with the giants and the gods that it felt fairly balanced. I was sad we didn't actually "see" Achilles' death but on the other hand it makes sense structurally, because that would've meant another military battle that'd be repetitive and throw off the pacing. I thought you picked a pretty good point in the story to split off for the ending as well.

 

@cookie I guess out of those last three I'd probably say Bounty Hamster was my favorite read but El Dorado is technically better-done plotwise?

3

Yeah, shows what happens you get in a time crunch, you overlook the smallest details. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. This is the second full-length movie that I've written that's not a filler and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

[cookie]

15 minutes ago, Xillix said:

@cookie I guess out of those last three I'd probably say Bounty Hamster was my favorite read but El Dorado is technically better-done plotwise?

Well, I won't be the judge on your final rankings. Just wondering since you had precisely four four-star films.

Edited January 11, 2018 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

2 hours ago, Xillix said:

 

 

The Simulation

"A bit confusing in places - how was Nadine, a simulee herself, controlling the taxi driver? - The Simulation is still overall a well-done sci-fi flick, even if it's not terribly original."

Here’s why. @The Shape of Pasta Was a moron who meant to say that ARTHUR was controlling the taxi driver, and he got names mixed up and didn’t see it until too late.

 

 A one word difference sabotaged me, lmao.

 

[cookie]

1 minute ago, The Shape of Pasta said:

Here’s why. @The Shape of Pasta Was a moron who meant to say that ARTHUR was controlling the taxi driver, and he got names mixed up and didn’t see it until too late.

 

 A one word difference sabotaged me, lmao.

 

Given how many times I had to write Tulio and Miguel's names in El Dorado I almost fell into the same trap a few times.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Thanks for the BH praise, @Xillix!

 

There was definitely a big influence from Captain Underpants and its madcap humor (hence me using David Soren), and it might have been the most fun film for me to write this year.

[Xillix]

39 minutes ago, The Shape of Pasta said:

A one word difference sabotaged me, lmao.

 

TBH I don't think that would've actually changed the score though; I'm also a bit confused about the scale/workings of the dome...

[Ezen Baklattan]

On 1/11/2018 at 5:32 PM, The Shape of Pasta said:

Thanks for the BH praise, @Xillix!

 

There was definitely a big influence from Captain Underpants and its madcap humor (hence me using David Soren), and it might have been the most fun film for me to write this year.

Btw did you catch the Milli Vanilli joke?

[Xillix]

6 hours ago, The Shape of Pasta said:

Btw did you catch the Milli Vanilli joke?

How could I not it was in there twice  

[Hiccup23]

On 1/9/2018 at 7:25 PM, Xillix said:

"Academy is bitingly satirical and funny"

Thanks for the marketing  

 

Studio has already cut that and plastered it on every poster, Internet ad, and TV Spot  

 

[Xillix]

Paddles: The Video Game Story

"A reasonably diverting look into the origins of the video game business, but there's nothing here that hardcore gamers don't know - and in fact it's missing some important context, such as how Alcorn directly ripped off Pong from a game included on the Magnavox Odyssey and Atari was sued and forced into an embarrassing settlement."

 

To the Moon

"The story - what I can make out of it - is nicely bittersweet, but the structure is a mess, not nearly divested enough from its obvious video game origins."

 

Taking Names

"It doesn't entirely live up to its potential, but it's a suitably ludicrous, occasionally hilarious romp."

 

Mermaid

"Perfectly decent summer popcorn fare for little girls and their moms. The Disney Channel could play it every single day and no one would bat an eye."

 

The Dark Victorian

"Uncomfortably echoes the prior Burton-Depp-Carter flop Dark Shadows, and while it's more tonally consistent than that misfire, it takes the wrong track by trying to play its ridiculous plot straight-faced."

Edited January 14, 2018 by Xillix

[Xillix]

56 Days of Love

"It's heartfelt and, for the most part, refreshingly honest. That said, the POV shooting style, though an interesting experiment, ultimately hinders several scenes, and the resolution seems too abrupt and structurally questionable. We're told Mark isn't holding up his end of the relationship fully - by a newly-introduced character in a scene that breaks the focus on Frank, no less - instead of being gradually shown, which would have been far more heart-rending."

 

Pokémon: The Journey Begins

"The video game classic is a total wash in cinematic form. Rushed and crammed into a 114 minute runtime while trying to be too faithful to the game, and taking on an entirely-too-large chunk of its story, it's an exhausting sit likely to frustrate all but the most devout franchise followers. Worse, the live action treatment makes the disturbing dog-fighting and animal abuse parallels all the more apparent."

 

Anthem

"Technically competent, Anthem is nonetheless a thinly-veiled, completely un-nuanced bit of Objectivist propaganda - as was the book - set in a sci-fi dystopia which seems more like an afterthought or excuse than a developed setting."

 

After Party

"While the movie is probably well-intended and has a good message, and is admittedly sometimes tense, it's also an exploitative and over-the-top tableau which sometimes borders on unintentional comedy - definitely not what you want with this subject matter."

 

My Side of the Mountain

"A workmanlike adaptation of the far-fetched children's classic, decent enough for what it is, but thoroughly uninspiring. Of interest primarily to middle schoolers who want to cheat on their book reports."

[YM!]

1 minute ago, Xillix said:

Pokémon: The Journey Begins

"The video game classic is a total wash in cinematic form. Rushed and crammed into a 114 minute runtime while trying to be too faithful to the game, and taking on an entirely-too-large chunk of its story, it's an exhausting sit likely to frustrate all but the most devout franchise followers. Worse, the live action treatment makes the disturbing dog-fighting and animal abuse parallels all the more apparent."

Ouch.