Rorschach Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 @Rorschach @The Shape of Pasta You're getting a double whammy of judgement tonight 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 16 minutes ago, cookie said: @Rorschach @The Shape of Pasta You're getting a double whammy of judgement tonight Simulation review and BH/Simulation actuals....what are you saying?!?! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 (edited) The Odyssey: The Spoils of War *phone rings* "Cookie Pictures President and CEO Sebastian Peters speaking." Yeah hi, this is @cookie. Tell me, is Tyler Bates still busy with Voltron? I need him for a thing. "A what?" A. Thing. I'll be right up front with this one: this was epic, and a damn good one at that. Matt Reeves' depiction of Odysseus is probably one of the most realized portrayals I've seen so far this year, and Hugh Jackman kills it in the role. Framing (almost) everything from his perspective is one of the smartest decisions the film could've made, in part because everyone else is good but not great enough to have their own storylines devoted to (although Taika Waititi as an airbender is one of the most awesome things ever). This is even before you get to the exciting action sequences, poetic tragedy and even a surprising amount of humor that all fits into a very fine blend. There are some nitpicks I could make, mainly about the time skips and certain events almost feeling glossed over, but they are just that, nitpicks. The title is also somewhat of a case of false advertising since the titular "Odyssey" doesn't even begin until the end of the movie (at least I think, I'm very rusty on my Greek mythology), but I can overlook that too. And yeah, it very much feels like a Part 1 of a story, but it's a very impressive start nonetheless. Here's hoping for a killer trilogy. Minor note that doesn't affect the grade: Posting the movie in bold made it a bit hard on the eyes to read (although the generous paragraph breaks helped a lot), maybe something to think about next time @Rorschach. A Edited January 21, 2018 by cookie 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Wow. Thanks for the great review @cookie. I greatly appreciate it. Personally, I'm very excited about writing the final two films. I think they're going to be great! Note: Yeah, I didn't intentionally mean to post the film in bold. It just did that when I copied the file from my Google Docs account. Was in a bit of a rush to post it on before the deadline and overlooked that aspect. Will remember for next time though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 Minor alteration made, decided after some thinking to give Odyssey a straight A since outside of nitpicks I really couldn't find anything that wronged me about it. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Just now, cookie said: Minor alteration made, decided after some thinking to give Odyssey a straight A since outside of nitpicks I really couldn't find anything that wronged me about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Rorschach said: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Fuck, it’s simulation time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 (edited) Lord of the Flies *alternate timeline me appears* Oh, you're gonna tell me this sucks too? Actually no, this is a very solid adaptation of the book that does the necessary updating without sacrificing the heart of the original source. Even though I saw but never reviewed it in my timeline, I'm here now to give it a high recommendation. Oh okay, coolsies. Does that mean we're pals now? No, because you still suck. You gave a Hugh Jackman Odyssey movie a perfect grade? Really? But it's Matt Reeves and Jackman's really freakin' good in it plus it got Taika Waiti- Taika Waititi? The nerdy best friend from Green Lantern? What kind of drugs are you on?! Fuck you. *leaves* ... Hello darkness my old friend. A- The Simulation Having seen and given feedback to a preview version of this I won't dwell on this one for long either. I still find its strengths to hold up and its weaknesses to hurt it. Kovisson is still the film's biggest downfall, although he makes slightly more sense here than he does in the original. Solid stuff overall. B The Beach House What. The. Fuck. Part 3. How stupid is your movie when your own setup (couple finds a mysteriously cheap house by the beach and buys it) plays absolutely jack shit into the actual payoff of the movie. It's like this was supposed to be a haunted house movie at conception but a third of the way through writing the script they suddenly decided to make it a killer husband story and just said "fuck it, it's not like anybody will notice that a third of our movie is completely useless now." Well I noticed, cheeky screenwriters, and you can't fool me on this bullshit. Also - and I don't want to see this becoming a trend in really bad movies - worst fucking police ever. D- Fab 5 To call this generic would almost be an insult to the word "generic", but the cast at least tries the best they can with it. C-/D+ Edited January 21, 2018 by cookie 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 (edited) Ultraman Not a half bad effort from Micheal Bay, in part because it reins in most of his worst instincts. It does end up getting pretty repetitive and most of the characters are as paper thin as you'd expect (although I guess it kinda works with the source material). Nothing great, but a passable fun time. B- Paddles: The Video Game Story A solidly put together documentary although it doesn't have much in the way of interesting to say about its creators or the legacy their game's success spawned. Worth a rental but not much more. B- To the Moon I'm just going to come out and say this right now: the opening scene is fantastic. It's probably as close as Docter's ever gotten to topping the opening ten minutes from Up. It manages to say so much without a sliver of (audible) dialogue. I highly admire films that can pull that off. Does the rest of the movie hold up after that though? Yes. Yes it does. I've never played the original game, but if it's anything like this I really wouldn't mind giving it a try. This is very much an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish, uplifting yet heartbreaking, mellow yet harsh, beautiful yet harrowing... The ending is so assuring but when you consider the losses that had to be made to get to that point, it becomes bittersweet in the very best kind. Much like The Odyssey the only negatives I can say about it are really nitpicks; perhaps there's one or two too many memory jumps, and the science of beta blockers affecting a person's memories sounds... questionable, but I'm not a medical expert so if it does then forgive me. I guess I could argue if this really needed to cost $175 million since the content of the narrative didn't seem to require it, but why complain when obviously a lot of time, money and attention is being put into every frame? You don't lose anything like you'd do if you go cheap, in fact in this case you can only gain. So while I've been critical of @ChD's video game adaptations in the past I can safely say that this one lives up to the hype and is definitely a real summer highlight. A Remainder of July and August coming tomorrow before the actuals. Edited January 23, 2018 by cookie 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 Only doing grades for the rest of July since I have actuals to post (I can give a full review on request). The Film - C+ Taking Names - B- The Mermaid - C The Dark Victorian - D+ August and September reviews starting tomorrow. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Positive for TN! I’ll take it. (btw your reviews were partially why I had a bit clearly explaining why calling the police would be a terrible idea ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 5 minutes ago, The Shape of Pasta said: Positive for TN! I’ll take it. (btw your reviews were partially why I had a bit clearly explaining why calling the police would be a terrible idea ) That was the one thing pulling it over the edge to a B- tbh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 24, 2018 Author Share Posted January 24, 2018 So I won't have time to do any reviews before the August actuals because of IRL setbacks but I'll be doing it and September tomorrow, so don't take whatever movie A or B makes today as an indication for what I think of the film. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 3 minutes ago, cookie said: So I won't have time to do any reviews before the August actuals because of IRL setbacks but I'll be doing it and September tomorrow, so don't take whatever movie A or B makes today as an indication for what I think of the film. It's okay. I don't need to read your review to know that Anthem is gonna flop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 24, 2018 Author Share Posted January 24, 2018 (edited) So I said I was doing August and September tomorrow but I feel I need to get this one out of the way because lumping it with much more lighthearted reviews would not sit well with me at all. After Party I take the subject of campus sexual assault very seriously. It is not an area I ever tread on lightly. I even personally avoid making stories about sexual assault in general because I know I am going to screw it up. That in no way is me saying that stories about sexual assault shouldn't exist, what I am saying is that it's such an extremely delicate area that very few people have actually done it without falling into the numerous pitfalls that will inevitably be laid before them. This tries something different but still falls into many of the same traps. It's a movie concerned with being a suspense thriller first and a sexual assault story second. It's not even about the person being assaulted since we find out almost nothing about her. She's not the focal perspective, a guy who happens to like her is. That's something a lot of sexual assault stories manage to fuck up: they make it about everybody else but the victim. That's not to say that the story the film tells is the wrong one, but it really shouldn't be a whole movie with a slapdash message tacked on at the very end. It should be the opening twenty minutes to a movie about that woman. You want to make that ending text mean anything? Show everything that happens after. Show how people react and behave when someone claims they've been assaulted. That's the kind of stuff that's going to make the audience think and reconsider, because many of them will recognize being in that position. All this film does is ultimately making me feel detached from the situation and that's not something I want. Not to mention, like @Xillix pointed out, the situation reaches such unrealistic levels that it comes closer to a farce than something actually genuine, and that's one of the worst things you could do. Is it one of the worst movies of the year? No. Is its message important? Yes. But is its framing its biggest sin? Also yes. C I have a high amount of respect for @The Shape of Pasta and I clearly see what the intent here is. I respect that dearly. That does not mean I have to praise the result (and I will not argue with anyone on this). Edited January 24, 2018 by cookie 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 After Party I am straight up not going to argue if people didn’t like it. I really do want to do the topic justice, though. If I do attempt this again, it’ll be an Adapted work from someone with a greater understanding of the topic. Thank you for the feedback, @cookie. I really appreciate it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 On the other hand....I really hope something I write actually ends up with higher than a B from you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 24, 2018 Author Share Posted January 24, 2018 Just now, The Shape of Pasta said: On the other hand....I really hope something I write actually ends up with higher than a B from you. Haven't gotten to Freddy Zapper yet but it sounds like a lot of fun so there's that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
