cookie Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 (edited) 22 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said: Yeah, this is gonna be another film that requires a big rewrite. I’ve been struggling a LOT with how to work his character. Any specific points that need to be worked on? - Gyllenhaal's entire plan and motivation as mentioned. It can be fixed if we actually get some form of understanding as to why he does what he does, but so much of it just seems random. Really the lack of any compelling motivation for any of it is the crippling factor. - For a movie called "Homeward" we only spend like ten to fifteen minutes on Earth during the first act. - The earlier mentioned interspecies racism stuff. Doesn't add up to anything and is never brought up again after the pizzeria scene. - Keep the Everett stuff because that works, but again Gyllenhaal's whole reason to do so needs to be changed or elaborated on. - Aera's parents come out of nowhere during the third act. - AlexBot like much of Gyllenhaal's plan serves no real purpose and could've been cut entirely. - Perthena ultimately doesn't do much either. - Hannah and Tarek are just kinda annoying tbh - Apparently Alex's powers can be easily removed and then inserted into somebody else despite so much of the first movie building up how special Alex is. That's just contrived storytelling. Edited April 1, 2018 by cookie 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 Yup....expect a BIG rewrite soon. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Hunt Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 4 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said: Yup....expect a BIG rewrite soon. Excited to see how it turns out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 (edited) Spark Rising was pretty good. I’ll read Spark Homeward when the rewrite is done. Nevermind @Isle of Pasta I’m reading Homeward rn Edited April 1, 2018 by YourMother the Edgelord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 Okay at Chicago so far so good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 Still chugging Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 (edited) That was a weird turn. Also only finished to a certain part because my browser refreshing. @Isle of Pasta Can you pm the rest. Edited April 1, 2018 by YourMother the Edgelord Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: That was a weird turn. Also only finished to a certain part because my browser refreshing. @Isle of Pasta Can you pm the rest. Which part? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 (edited) Here’s what I thought so far, I got up to the point where Vanchell drowns Alex. What I liked - That Everest reveal - The main cast is still very fun and likeable - Action is top notch as usual - The Chicago scenes - Mention of Milwaukee gives this at least a C+ My problems - Vanchell’s deal, never got his motivation exactly. - The Chicago scenes are only their for a few minutes, would’ve like more time on Earth. - Chicago scenes kind of are forgotten about mainly the racism aspect. - Hannah and Tarek annoy me and also do they really need to be in the movie So far I giving it a B Edited April 1, 2018 by YourMother the Edgelord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 4 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said: Which part? The scene where Alex gets drowned by Vanchell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: The scene where Alex gets drowned by Vanchell Sent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 1 hour ago, cookie said: - Gyllenhaal's entire plan and motivation as mentioned. It can be fixed if we actually get some form of understanding as to why he does what he does, but so much of it just seems random. Really the lack of any compelling motivation for any of it is the crippling factor. - For a movie called "Homeward" we only spend like ten to fifteen minutes on Earth during the first act. - The earlier mentioned interspecies racism stuff. Doesn't add up to anything and is never brought up again after the pizzeria scene. - Keep the Everett stuff because that works, but again Gyllenhaal's whole reason to do so needs to be changed or elaborated on. - Aera's parents come out of nowhere during the third act. - AlexBot like much of Gyllenhaal's plan serves no real purpose and could've been cut entirely. - Perthena ultimately doesn't do much either. - Hannah and Tarek are just kinda annoying tbh - Apparently Alex's powers can be easily removed and then inserted into somebody else despite so much of the first movie building up how special Alex is. That's just contrived storytelling. I PM'ed you an idea for a radically different plot that addresses many of these points, except maybe the Homeward one. (I may give it a new title. 🤔) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 Yeah if Spark Rising was Iron Man, Homeward would be Iron Man 2. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 1 minute ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: Yeah if Spark Rising was Iron Man, Homeward would be Iron Man 2. Now to make it more like The Dark Knight. Back to the writing board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 So here are my new ideas on Spark 2. ( @cookie this is what I sent you so you can disregard your PM) As a human, Everett will have been a college professor, specializing in the potential for alien life. Venchell was in fact one of his best students. They formed a close relationship, with Everett almost serving as a father figure to him. Until the Infinite experiment comes. Everett betrayed him, and he was one of the last to be tested before the experiment took place. He was not as altered as the "Infinites" were in the first film, but still not as stable as Alex was. After he tried to escape, he was ordered by Naryani to be executed. Taken to a little-charted world, Venchell manages to fake his death and escapes under a new alias. He vows for revenge against the people who destroyed him, and finds an ally in Perthena, who has a distrust for the entirety of Galactic government. They build a syndicate of people looking to avenge the infinites, and they create Everett-bot to lure Alex to their cause. Alex is sympathetic, but becomes terrified when they want to kill Ezen and Katherine as well. The closest thing to a true antagonist in the movie would be a politician, Tarek, who worked closely with Naryani in the experiments (albeit not as much as Everett did) and tries to kill the Syndicate. Alex realizes that she needs to protect them while Ezen and Katherine try to face the sins of their predecessors and work towards creating a truly just and progressive new government. The message of the movie is definitely going to involve coming to terms with the sins of the people who came before you and working to undo them. Taron Edgerton as Venchell Lea Seydoux as Perthena J.K. Simmons as Tarek Also, I'm going to cut Hannah and Tarek from the movie. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 (edited) Spark: Homeward B- Recap: Although the sequel doesn’t live up to the original, forgets ideas like an amnesiac and a lifeless villain, you will be pleased by the action, humor and awesome characters we’ve come to love. I look forward to more adventures in this universe. What I liked - That Everest reveal - The main cast is still very fun and likeable - Action is top notch as usual - The Chicago scenes - Mention of Milwaukee gives this at least a C+ - I really liked Alex and Kozar’s relationship again when the main series come to an end and the ship is still standing give their children (if they have em) a spin-off series - Aera is bae and so are her parents, her spin-off will make bank My problems - Vanchell’s deal, never got his motivation exactly. Vanchell also sucked as a villain - The Chicago scenes are only their for a few minutes, would’ve like more time on Earth. - Chicago scenes kind of are forgotten about mainly the racism aspect. - Hannah and Tarek annoy me and also do they really need to be in the movie - Fuck Alexbot and the droids - Also like cookie said if Alex is so special, how are her powers so easily taken away. It feels contrived. Edited April 1, 2018 by YourMother the Edgelord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 (edited) 15 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: Yeah if Spark Rising was Iron Man, Homeward would be Iron Man 2. I saw Iron Man 2 just two days ago and reading Homeward I thought the exact same thing. Edited April 1, 2018 by cookie 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: Spark: Homeward B- Recap: Although the sequel doesn’t live up to the original, forgets ideas like an amnesiac and a lifeless villain, you will be pleased by the action, humor and awesome characters we’ve come to love. I look forward to more adventures in this universe. What I liked - That Everest reveal - The main cast is still very fun and likeable - Action is top notch as usual - The Chicago scenes - Mention of Milwaukee gives this at least a C+ - I really liked Alex and Kozar’s relationship again when the main series come to an end and the ship is still standing give their children (if they have em) a spin-off series - Aera is bae and so are her parents, her spin-off will make bank My problems - Vanchell’s deal, never got his motivation exactly. Vanchell also sucked as a villain - The Chicago scenes are only their for a few minutes, would’ve like more time on Earth. - Chicago scenes kind of are forgotten about mainly the racism aspect. - Hannah and Tarek annoy me and also do they really need to be in the movie - Fuck Alexbot and the droids - Also like cookie said if Alex is so special, how are her powers so easily taken away. It feels contrived. The new version should hopefully address a LOT of these points. But thank you for the feedback! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 1 minute ago, Isle of Pasta said: The new version should hopefully address a LOT of these points. But thank you for the feedback! No problem. Honestly I am loving everyone here is so happy to help everyone on their projects. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 And mind you.....the climax is hopefully gonna be on Earth in the new version. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
