Slam! Movie Reviews: Y9 Edition || **PYRAMID RESCUE**

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SLAM! MOVIE REVIEWS
March Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

 

AMERICAN SPY

The prospect of Phoenix Fire Entertainment handling a novel adaptation such as American Spy is an exciting one. The decision expands on their narrative focus that I mentioned in the Grand Theft Auto review, and it teases the presence of fleshed-out characters you can't help but root for as well as relevant thematic messages. And boy, does American Spy have those in abundance. Touting a great ensemble cast and a gripping storyline, American Spy emerges as one of the best films of the year despite its March release date.

 

I want to start with the performances; Jurnee Smollett and Omar Sy nail their performances as well as the unlikely romance and bond they develop for one another. Everyone else is also great, especially McConaughey and Damon in their roles. But Smollett and Sy especially are serious contenders in their respective categories.

 

Then there's the story, which comes across as refreshingly and urgently cinematic thanks to the confident direction of Ava DuVernay. The film uses its narrative to put a spotlight on very real issues of corruption and exploitation within the higher spheres of power.

 

I don't have much else to say about this, I just really loved it and thought it was very well formed. MC, you were somewhat unconfident with this (and self doubt in general is a pervasive problem affecting me and every Cayom writer), but I personally have nothing but nice things to say about this film and this story. 

 

March Review Scores

Spoiler

Bugcatcher Boys

A fun (if not mind-blowing) family romp. Catch those critters, boys! 6/10

 

Deep Sixed

Anchored by a reliable action hero performance by Jason Statham and a committed performance by Liam Neeson, Deep Sixed emerges as a surprisingly passable action film that deserves to be seen by audiences. 7/10

 

American Spy

Touting a great ensemble cast and a gripping storyline, American Spy emerges as one of the best films of the year despite its March release date. 9.5/10

 

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SLAM! MOVIE REVIEWS

April Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

THE BOY WHO HATED BOOKS

 

The Boy Who Hated Books is one of my favorite family films of the year. It's heartfelt, it's earnest, and it's anchored by confident direction and good performances. However, it's slightly bogged down by two issues: a been-there-done-that storyline, as well as too much crying. Way. Too. Much. Crying.

 

So with Archie Yates, Tom Hiddleston, and Vicky Krieps, they're all turning in some of my favorite performances of the year with their heartfelt portrayals of the classic "parents with a single child." So you're already getting great performances from the characters and the way the actors portray them. And even when they cry like every five minutes, if you're asking these actors to cry, of course, they're going to nail it. But with all the crying, it lessens the impact of that emotion. It's a big issue with some Cayom films (including some of my films), where it's assumed that featuring emotional scenes where the characters cry will translate to Oscar success. That's not always the case, and sometimes too much crying can come across as annoying very quickly.

 

However, despite the annoying and overwrought nature of the "too much crying," and despite the syrupy saccharine tone, the film is still very well done, especially thanks to great characterization and a great director choice in Thea Sharrock. So yes, the film is at times overwrought and annoying, but the story is still engaging enough to keep up with thanks to its strong attributes.

 

April Review Scores

Spoiler

Molly and Emmett

A well-done family film that ultimately doesn't have much to say thematically aside from basic things like 'friendship.' 6/10

 

Heart of the Amazon

The better of the two nature documentaries this year because it covers a broader topic. 8/10

 

The Boy Who Hated Books

The film manages to overcome its negative attributes such as too much crying, predictable plotting, and an overwrought saccharine tone by means of its direction and storytelling as well as strong performances. 8.5/10

 

Shadow of the Comet

I took a second look and decided that I liked it more than I did the first read-through. It's still too swift for its own good, but if you see this for any reason, see it for Samuel L. Jackson, who practically steals the film. 6.5/10

 

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May Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

REVENGE EX

 

Ex marks the spot! Yeah, this might be a surprising choice for a spotlight, but you bet your bottom dollar Zendaya and Tom Holland are going on the cover of the magazine!

 

Revenge Ex is a great example of a simplistic film done right, and it's the best romantic comedy since Plus One. The film has two charming leads in Zendaya and Tom Holland, who both have great onscreen chemistry with each other. I love the song "Heartbeat," it's a great song. Zendaya is a sleeper candidate for Best Actress. The film itself is a sleeper candidate for Best Original Screenplay.

 

[I don't have much else to say about this, I really appreciated the film though.]

 

May Review Scores

Spoiler

Martian Manhunter

Cliched to the point of being tiresome (which is disappointing given a promising first act), Martain Manhunter is sure to delight audiences eager for a superhero blockbuster, but it's unambitious enough where I have to give it a 5.5/10; Best Actor is weak enough where Lance Reddick has a shot at Best Actor, and other technical awards are also possible.

 

The Man of the Jungle

This Tarzan live-action remake makes relevant statements and boasts a strong cast; hopefully this film does well. Best Actor is weak enough where Trevante Rhodes has a shot at Best Actor. (Also, shoutout to Oprah!) 7.5/10

 

Revenge Ex

Revenge Ex is a great example of a simplistic film done right, and it's the best romantic comedy since Plus One. The film has two charming leads in Zendaya and Tom Holland, who both have great onscreen chemistry with each other. I love the song "Heartbeat," it's a great song. Zendaya is a sleeper candidate for Best Actress. The film itself is a sleeper candidate for Best Original Screenplay. 9/10

 

Rocket Hero

The action is engaging, with Cruise and Malek both doing a good job, but the unsatisfying ending leaves a lot to be desired (even if this is a part one shindig). 7/10

 

Fatal Error

It's sufficiently spooky film but it doesn't have a lot of original material that begs to be seen in theaters. 3/10

 

Edited July 24, 2022 by SLAM!

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SLAM! MOVIE REVIEWS

June Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

MATILDA AND THE NIGHT CHILDREN

 

I was very fortunate to be able to pre-read this one, and I think it represents a return to form for Endless Animation. It expertly mixes a personal, grounded tone; fantastical elements; exciting musical numbers; and an unconventional real-world setting to provide viewers with an urgent and vivacious film for all ages.

 

Anika Noni Rose and Keith David are the bright spots in a strong ensemble of voice actors. The setting is colorful and vibrant, with interesting locations like The Trident and Matilda's house (cuz there's all the knick-knacks in the house, you know how set decorators go off). The animation also comes with a unique mix of art styles, which I appreciated. Every character has a purpose in the story, and I'm happy with the amount of characters that are truly supporting in the way that the story relegates them to a background purpose. Some cayom films are bogged down by a need for lots and lots of characters to be pivotal in some way, but not Matilda!

 

I agree with MC's comparison to Luca; it's not grandiose, but it's not trying to be a clone of Gateways, Can You Imagine, yada yada. It hits highs of a different type. And there's still ways where that different type can be perfected, but Matilda's an obvious sign that Endless is taking steps toward come into its own, if not having done so already (which, you know, I think it has!).

 

This review's kinda ramble-ish, but I really think Matilda represents Endless's positive growth and progression, and I can't wait to see what's next for them. And kudos to Rihanna for writing great song after great song for this; I think "Lovely Spirits" is my favorite song of the bunch.

 

June Review Scores

Spoiler

Matilda and the Night Children

The film expertly mixes a personal, grounded tone; fantastical elements; exciting musical numbers; and an unconventional real-world setting to provide viewers with an urgent and vivacious film for all ages. 9.25/10

 

The Next Good Day

There's not a whole lot going on here, but the acting's great and the drama's palpable. Shoutout to Kirsten Dunst. 8/10

 

Second Dimension: Last Hope

Second Dimension: Last Hope is somewhat cliched in its approach to the modern fantasy blockbuster, but it's memorable, well-performed characters and well-paced storytelling allow me to appreciate the film in spite of grammar and formatting issues. I'm going to make a statement about Cayom as a game by giving this an 8.5/10.

 

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SLAM! MOVIE REVIEWS
July Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

HOOOOOPS

 

The rootable Bailey Rosario and modern basketball stars cross paths in this exciting family picture that's comparable in quality to Netflix's Adam Sandler movie Hustle. It's self-contained and not gonna blow many minds, but for what it's worth, there's a lot of heart that's gonna win families' attention this Summer!

 

Xochitl Gomez and Giannis Antetokounmpo have good chemistry, and it's fun to see LeBron James in a comedic role such as this. Story wise, there's a sufficient "overcome the obstacles" narrative that's sure to inspire moviegoers.

 

This is the best Hoops film yet, and it's definitely worth seeing in theaters!

 

 

July Review Scores

Spoiler

Heremias

Heremias has so many well-realized characters, so much vibrance in its animation and humorousness, and just the right amount of depth to its world that I can't help but tout it as one of the best films of the year (not just animated films). It's just as good as Sylvarius if not better! 9.25/10

 

War on Drugs: America's Modern Conflict

The best documentary of the year; vitally informative and well produced thanks to Spike Lee. 8.5/10

 

HOOOOOPs

The rootable Bailey Rosario and modern basketball stars cross paths in this exciting family picture that's comparable in quality to Netflix's Adam Sandler movie Hustle. It's self-contained and not gonna blow many minds, but for what it's worth, there's a lot of heart that's gonna win families' attention this Summer! 8.25/10

 

Hearts of Fire: Vengeful Heart

Pow pow, bang bang, it's an action film, wowzers. Salma Hayek's good in this but the film isn't required viewing by any means. 4/10

 

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SLAM! MOVIE REVIEWS
August Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

DINOSAUCERS

 

This is one of the most interesting animated films of the year, to the point where I wish Workshop, Inc. gave it a bigger budget. There's a legitimate world to explore in this film, and the dinosaur characters (I'm not familiar with any of them) are all pretty interesting. This is a sellable film, but it has a few drawbacks thanks to a Saturday-morning-ish plot brimming with animated cliches.

 

A good comparison to this film would be the first Narnia film, because you have the four disgruntled kids going to the magical world, one of them almost sides with the villain at one point, and they all come together in the end, and yada yada. Unfortunately, by the end of the film, these kids are sidelined so hard, with the dinosaurs taking the forefront, that I was confused as to why these kids needed to be forefronted in the first place.

 

Some good performances by John C. Reilly and Benedict Wong aside, this film is messy enough to earn a middling review score from me, but it's poised to get some attention from family audiences since there's about a month between Heremias and Dinosaucers, so families might be eager for another animated film.

 

 

August Review Scores

Spoiler

Dinosaucers

This is a sellable film, but it has a few drawbacks thanks to a Saturday-morning-ish plot brimming with animated cliches. 4.5/10

 

Gran Turismo

Great sound quality cuz of all those cars, but that's really it. 4/10

 

The Excursion

Some nice vistas of Portugal, but that's all the film has. The film's kind of pointless. 3/10

 

The First Water War

A solid kids film! Cannonball! 6.5/10

 

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September Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

INVADER ZIM

 

Invader Zim is probably one of the most unique franchises in the Nickelodeon vault, and there's a lot of potential for Zim and company to thrive onscreen if the film's done right. And I'm happy to report that the film is done right! Invader Zim boasts an engaging and witty narrative as well as a strong performance by Bill Hader.

 

The animation pays homage to the television show, and thus isn't as multiplex-ready as the animation of other films. That's why it's vital for the narrative and dialogue to push the film ahead, and man those elements push the film ahead. There's some hilarious dialogue in here (even if a little mean spirited), and all the characters have something to do.

 

Bill Hader's performance is incredible based on what the film and the role of Invader Zim is asking him to achieve. It's a delicious performance that's going to drive a lot of audience attention to the film.

 

It's somewhat unambitious, but it's still one of my favorite animated films of the year. An arresting comedic narrative, witty dialogue, and a great Bill Hader performance come together to allow Invader Zim to invade the winner's circle.

 

 

September Review Scores

Spoiler

Acne

With a great performance by Annalise Basso, a meaningful message, and tantalizing psychological horror, Acne stands apart as the best horror film of the year. 8.5/10

 

Seals of Honor

Where's the beach balls? 🥺 7/10

 

Home Invasion: Part IV - Curtain Call

Keep those curtains closed... 1/10

 

Raven Island

I'm excited to see where Fossil Record and Workshop go next, though I want to change these companies to provide future films with a little bit more detail in the plot summary; writing 20,000+ word stories isn't what's needed, but a little more detail in these stories would help me imagine these films a little bit more. 7.5/10

 

Invader Zim

It's somewhat unambitious, but it's still one of my favorite animated films of the year. An arresting comedic narrative, witty dialogue, and a great Bill Hader performance come together to allow Invader Zim to invade the winner's circle. 8.75/10

 

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October Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

#SPOOKED

 

#Spooked is your average horror slasher on the surface, and in many ways that's exactly what it is, but the film at least provides an acerbic glimpse of modern social media society that gives them film a necessary degree of relevance.

 

The scares are fun and the filmmaking gimmicks are even more fun. Jack Dylan Grazer utilizes his acting skills to create something watchable out of what could have easily been something terrible.

 

#Spooked is easily one of the best horror films of the year.

 

October Review Scores

Spoiler

Warmth

There's not a whole lot going on in Warmth, but it's a refreshingly spiritual rumination on the past, present, and future. Alfonso Cuaron does everything he can to make this cinematic, and it shows. Good performances and an exceptional original score. 8.5/10

 

Sleepy Hollow

I went into the story expecting something as vibrant as colorful as Selick's past films, but the film comes across as disappointingly humorless and un-fun, especially for a Selick film. And by the time we get to the highs of the film's surprising ending, we've spent so much time meandering in the town and enough time away from the headless horseman that the ending's impact was dampened a bit. 7.5/10

 

Guinea Pigger

Passable visual effects manage to make something sellable out of one of the dumbest concepts of the year. Vanessa Bayer's still hanging in there; she needs a new agent. 3.5/10

 

Red Rabbit

We've definitely seen this before, but it's all definitely well done. Maybe something overcomplicated, as the story can be hard to follow at times. Joe Keery makes a great Jack Ryan. 7/10

 

#Spooked

#Spooked is your average horror slasher on the surface, and in many ways that's exactly what it is, but the film at least provides an acerbic glimpse of modern social media society that gives them film a necessary degree of relevance. 6.5/10

 

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November Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

INSPECTOR GADGET AND PENNY

 

There's two sides to the coin of Endless Animation. First, there's the films where characters and their realistic struggles are put in prime focus (Medusa, Can You Imagine, Matilda and the Night Children, etc.) and the zanier comedic films like The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl and Super Mario Bros. While all Endless animated films come with the same trademark fantastical energy and colorful vibrance, Inspector Gadget and Penny falls into the second camp. And Slam! Movie Reviews is pleased to report that this Inspector Gadget film is easily the best licensed property adaptation by Endless since the two aforementioned films.

 

The Hotel Transylvania style of rubbery cartoon animation is a great fit for Inspector Gadget. All of the characters play into each other well, with the story achieving a balance that fits everyone in very well. Speaking of characters, the voice actors do very well in their roles to bring them to life; Darby Camp and Jack McBrayer nail their roles, while Cedric Yarbrough's Dr. Claw is *perfect* as a villainous turn.

 

The film's simple goals of being an entertaining romp perhaps hold it back from "greatness," but it's notable just how well Inspector Gadget and Penny manages to be that entertaining romp. Here's hoping this does well over Thanksgiving!

 

November Review Scores

Spoiler

Land of the Crescent

Land of the Crescent transports the viewer into a world depicted onscreen way too infrequently. May Calamawy and Saïd Taghmaoui nail their respective roles. I don't have much else to say about it but I really appreciated this one. 8.75/10

 

Mother Knows Better

It's okay if a little uneven, if you're casting Regina King you're getting a good performance no matter what, but the film isn't all that special. 6.25/10

 

Runaway Train

Runaway Train is one of my favorite films of Y9. It's a tender and impartial window into one of the most underrated rock bands of the 1990s as well as a strong showcase for its actors and director James Mangold. 9/10

 

Inspector Gadget and Penny

The film's simple goals of being an entertaining romp perhaps hold it back from "greatness," but it's notable just how well Inspector Gadget and Penny manages to be that entertaining romp. 8.75/10

 

Ultraman: Dark Future

Dark Future is easily better than its predecessor. A lot of that is because of Michael B. Jordan's Aaron being a waaaaay better protagonist than Mark Wahlberg's whatever his name was. The story's admittedly simple (which prevents me from scoring it too high), but you know what, sometimes simple is good. If this film surprises in Best Visual Effects or Best Use of Action somehow, I'll be pleased as punch. 6.5/10

 

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December Issue Spotlight

Spoiler

 

DANCING IN THE DOGHOUSE

 

So back in Y7 when I read In the Doghouse, I was confused by how the film's ending makes this big revelation about Lucy, and then—blink. Cut to black. The film just dips. It didn't even occur to me to think that there was a whole part of the story left to play out! Which is why I was happy to see that the film was essentially getting a part two. And I'm happy to report that Dancing in the Doghouse is just as good if not better than the original.

 

The performances are still stellar, with Florence Pugh and Daniela Ruah giving career defining performances. The film is still very melodramatic but it checks in on every character in a way that allows us to be invested in their stories. If you're giving a script like this to all these actors, they're going to act it, that's just the way it's gonna go! And then Karyn Kusama feels like a better fit for the material.

 

The ending with the dancing is somewhat corny, but it doesn't ruin the movie so it's all right. Yeah, I'm kind of rambling now but this is a good movie.

 

December Review Scores

Spoiler

Father III: All Hell Breaks Loose

Sufficiently spooky, but also lacking. 3/10

 

The Baddest Of Them All

Doja Cat. Interesting! 6/10

 

Dancing in the Doghouse

Career-defining performances and a director who's a better fit for the material allow this film to be remembered as better than the first. 8.5/10

 

The Queen Who Never Was

Yes to the well-done GoT adaptation, yes to Weaving, yes to Branagh, yes to Buckley, yes to Thompson, yes to all the technical aspects, it's all a bunch of yes yes yes! 10/10

 

Vixen and the Castle of Doom

There's one conflict, and that's kind of it; "am I gonna kill the dragon children," "oh no I can't kill the dragon children," "I'm gonna stop you from killing the dragon children;" the film is streamlined in that manner, so while the ethical debates are probably necessary for children to be exposed to, the one-note narrative is a drawback. Strong animation and strong voice work though; those are the reasons why the film is better than the first! 8/10

 

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SLAM! MOVIE REVIEW'S

Y9'S TEN MOVERS AND SHAKERS
 

Spoiler

John Boyega

 

Gemma Chan

 

Zeno Robinson

 

Lyric Ross

 

Kenneth Branagh

 

Jessie Mei Li

 

Joe Keery

 

Aimee Carrero

 

Glen Powell

 

Karen Fukuhara

 

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SLAM! MOVIE REVIEWS

TOP 25 OF Y9

 

Hello! Tonight I'll be posting my top 25 films for Y9. No funny business, no games, I'll just be posting the films five at a time!

 

Here are my honorable mentions:

 

Honorable Mention #1

Spoiler

 

GRAND THEFT AUTO

 

 

Honorable Mention #2

Spoiler

 

DEEP SIXED

 

 

Honorable Mention #3

Spoiler

 

WAR ON DRUGS:

AMERICA'S MODERN CONFLICT

 

 

Honorable Mention #4

Spoiler

 

THE MAN OF THE JUNGLE

 

 

Honorable Mention #5

Spoiler

 

SLEEPY HOLLOW

 

 

Honorable Mention #6

Spoiler

 

VIXEN AND THE

CASTLE OF DOOM

 

 

 

[SLAM!]

#25

Spoiler

 

ULTRAMAN: DARK FATE

 

My favorite of the Crescent films this year due to good visual effects and action as well as a star turn by Michael B. Jordan.

 

#24

Spoiler

 

HOOOOOPS

 

The Hoops franchise takes a confident step forward, turning in a slam dunk of a film and its best outing yet.

 

#23

Spoiler

 

THE NEXT GOOD DAY

 

An impactful, important film.

 

#22

Spoiler

 

SOMEONE'S GRACE

 

I'm putting it on the board and seeing how high in points it's able to go.

 

#21

Spoiler

 

RAVEN ISLAND

 

This felt like a good place for it!

 

Edited July 26, 2022 by SLAM!

[SLAM!]

#20

Spoiler

 

WARMTH

 

Rooting for this one to do well!

 

#19

Spoiler

 

THE CRUMMY SHINDIG

 

 

#18

Spoiler

 

ACNE

 

My highest-scoring horror film this year for its message-driven psychological horror!

 

#17

Spoiler

 

DANCING IN THE DOGHOUSE

 

Livin' la vida loca!

 

#16

Spoiler

 

MECHAMEN

 

There might be issues with this film but it's one of the films that I put the most effort into so I'll put it in and see how it goes.

 

[SLAM!]

#15

Spoiler

 

SECOND DIMENSION:
LAST HOPE

 

I don't think I can put it any higher than this, but I'm excited to see where Good Films Productions goes from here. I wanna see those orcs in a sequel!

 

#14

Spoiler

 

THE BOY WHO HATED BOOKS

 

One of the best family films of the year!

 

#13

Spoiler

 

ALAKAZAM!

 

Is this your spoiler box? 

 

#12

Spoiler

 

LAND OF THE CRESCENT

 

I'm very excited to see how this film gets reviewed from here on out.

 

#11

Spoiler

 

INSPECTOR GADGET AND PENNY

 

Families will eat this up just like a Thanksgiving dinner at the box office!

 

[SLAM!]

#10

Spoiler

 

THE MIRAGE

 

One of my better mindbenders I'd say.

 

#9

Spoiler

 

INVADER ZIM

 

One of the most well-written "homages to its franchise" that I've read in Cayom.

 

#8

Spoiler

 

REVENGE EX

 

Best romantic comedy since Plus One!

 

#7

Spoiler

 

KIRBY AND THE KING'S CAPER

 

I'm very happy with what I was able to do; I finally wrote an animated video game film that I can be really proud of, and I hope this does well.

 

#6

Spoiler

 

HEREMIAS

 

This felt just outside of my top five, I had some other films in mind as films that "needed to be in the five," but if this one doesn't make other top fives I'll eat my hat.

 

[SLAM!]

Posting #5, then #4, then #3, and the #2 and #1 together, starting with #5...

 

#5

Spoiler

 

RUNAWAY TRAIN

 

This film hit every note it needed to!

 

[SLAM!]

#4

Spoiler

 

TONGUE TIED

 

I might not have any Best Picture candidates this year. I basically took Y9 (the whole game year) to say, "I'm gonna be wild and free, and I'm gonna write with abandon." Next year, I'll try to mix the "wild and free" energy with a little bit more planning and a little bit more control. But I don't think I'll drop the "wild and free" attitude outright. That's the attitude that allows me (as a writer) to have fun in Cayom, and that's the attitude that allows me to post enough films to help make a game year colorful.

 

So Tongue Tied might not be the BP candidate (if I even have one), but it's certainly one of my favorites of the ones I wrote this year. And if there's still players who haven't read it yet, I'm not gonna spoil why it's one of my favorites. I just think that I said something with this, stuff about society or somethin'. Plus, it'll make you laugh.

 

[SLAM!]

#3

Spoiler

 

MATILDA AND THE

NIGHT CHILDREN

 

Easily the best Endless film of Y9; a personal, imaginative, tender, and well-realized film that I'm more than happy to give props to!

 

[SLAM!]

And last but not least...

 

#2

Spoiler

 

AMERICAN SPY

 

Not sure how well this'll do in other rankings but I'm a fan of this film and I think Jurnee Smollett and Omar Sy should definitely be in the running for some Oscars this time!

 

#1

Spoiler

 

THE

QUEEN
WHO
NEVER

WAS

 

A mindblowingly fantastic fantasy film!