Bullet Train (2022)

[Eric Prime]

Discuss

[Eric Prime]

Throughout this whole movie, I was saying to myself, "Brad Pitt is so miscast. He can't do this obvious Ryan Reynolds schtick. Why didn't they get Ryan Reynolds in this? They're copying his schtick, so just let him do the schtick he does so well." Then he popped up in a random 3-second cameo. Took me by surprise...but also made me even more confused why they just didn't have Ryan Reynolds in this movie.

 

Anyways, the whole film should have been about Tangerine and Lemon. They carried this whole movie on their backs.

[Jonwo]

7 hours ago, Eric the Tank Engine said:

Throughout this whole movie, I was saying to myself, "Brad Pitt is so miscast. He can't do this obvious Ryan Reynolds schtick. Why didn't they get Ryan Reynolds in this? They're copying his schtick, so just let him do the schtick he does so well." Then he popped up in a random 3-second cameo. Took me by surprise...but also made me even more confused why they just didn't have Ryan Reynolds in this movie.

 

Anyways, the whole film should have been about Tangerine and Lemon. They carried this whole movie on their backs.

I get why Ryan Reynolds didn't get cast or perhaps turned it down, it'd been too similar to both Deadpool and The Hitman's Bodyguard. 

 

The Thomas the Tank Engine references by Tangerine and Lemon had me in stitches but I suspect it's a joke that would go over many people's heads if you've never seen it. 

 

 

[Webslinger]

Whatever Bullet Train lacks in nuance or character development, it makes up for in entertainment value. Under David Leitch’s skillful direction, it succeeds as a proudly undemanding popcorn flick that doesn’t take itself too seriously, moves at a quick clip, and has enough visual cleverness and humor to keep viewers invested throughout its two-hour run time. The film doesn’t spend much time developing its characters and leans heavily on contrivances and complications telegraphed so plainly that it might as well be called “Dramatic Irony: The Movie,” but it leans into these qualities so confidently that it’s easy to just suspend disbelief and go with the increasingly outlandish developments in the name of sheer enjoyment. As in his previous outings, Leitch displays a strong sense of spatial awareness and delivers engaging action scenes that feel visceral and dynamic. Though the character development is far from complex, the cast gets to let loose and have fun. Brad Pitt is clearly channeling Ryan Reynolds’s shtick in the lead role, but his presence lends a little more authority and ironic humor to the film; it’s fun watching him wink and smirk throughout his screen time, channeling his charisma and star power into a slightly different style without missing a beat. Brian Tyree Henry is lots of fun to watch in an against-type comedic role as a sensitive killer whose worldview will register as especially funny for viewers who have familiarity with a certain long-running children’s show. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is also fun as the other half of Tyree Henry’s team, bringing enough straight-faced tough guy menace to his part to make it funny relative to the absurdity happening around him. There’s also fun work from Joey King as a youthful killer who utilizes her appearance and acting ability to her advantage and Zazie Beetz as another killer adept in simple but funny profanity. Though there is not much in Bullet Train’s narrative that will hold up to scrutiny, it works well as simple but consistently effective popcorn entertainment.

 

B

 

Stray Spoilery Thoughts:

- As someone who had a whole bunch of the toys and VHS tapes as a little kid, I loved the conceit of Brian Tyree Henry's character likening people to the characters of Thomas the Tank Engine. I think Diesel came along after I had outgrown the series, but boy, hearing the names Thomas, Gordon, Percy, and James was a real deep cut of childhood nostalgia.

 

- I loved the Ryan Reynolds cameo, which retroactively makes sense of why Pitt is so obviously channeling his mannerisms. Well played. I also dug the Channing Tatum cameo.

 

- As much as I enjoyed the film overall, I could have done with a less CGI-heavy finale. Leitch is so good at directing simple, straightforward hand-to-hand violence that we didn't need all that big, loud nonsense.

[filmlover]

Definitely at least 20 minutes too long and flies off the rails (literally) during a climax that relies on an overabundance of poor CGI, but I have to say that I found this to be a solid summer action flick overall. David Leitch knows how to deliver fun and violent elaborate set pieces. Brad Pitt capably leads a strong ensemble cast (the jury is still out if Bad Bunny can act or not given how little he has to do here), with the highlights being the fun chemistry between Aaron Taylor-Johnson (who I usually don't like) and Brian Tyree Henry as sibling assassins and Joey King using her innocent appearance for lethal purposes. Just don't go in expecting anything more than carnage, one-liners, and plenty of Thomas the Tank Engine references and you'll likely have a good time. B

[Cap]

My Letterboxd review from yesterday 

 

Style over substance. Shame. This could’ve been pretty neat but it never really clicks. I will say I think I enjoyed the second half more because I started to realize it was basically just a giant MCU What If:

Cause Bruce basically gets on a train at the instruction of Nick Fury. 

He encounters Phastos and Pietro “brother” assassins. (This also works for wanda/pietro, Phastos/Ikaris, Thor/Loki insert) who are trying to return Shang chi to Wenwu. Also them being brothers was garbage. They should’ve let them make out. Anyway. 

The Wenwu plot is fucked up because Xialang pushed Cassie off a roof and now Scott is trying to kill the person he thinks did it which was on that train too. And Hank Pym is his dad who is pissed at Scott for Cassie getting hurt and he has beef with Wenwu

And then Drax shows up on a cameo cause one of the assassins killed his wife and family.

And then Natasha shows up as the deadliest assassin

And then Thor shows up cameo where he makes a pass at Bruce…

Also. I had to go to the dentist today, and I hate going to the dentist, so my THC kicked in about halfway through this movie, and I am still feeling iiiiiiiiit

And every movie should have a Japanese cover of Holding Out for a Hero.

[ddddeeee]

It reminded me of that first Fear Street movie in that it's competently put together but aggressively annoying. It wasn't for me at all.

Edited August 14, 2022 by ddddeeee

[sneazzy95]

It's not the kind of movies that I like, so it's a no for me.

Edited July 2, 2023 by sneazzy95