mattmav45

The Fault in Our Stars is dropping faster than a stripper's g-string on half-off Wednesdays.

The Fault in Our Stars is dropping faster than the heart rate of a pancreatic cancer patient.

There are times in which I'm a sucker for cheesy as fuck sports drama. Unfortunately, this was not one of those times. I will say the film looks great. There's something special about the 40's and the elegance on display. It's generally also pretty watchable. Like all sports dramas, it's simply damn hard to not smile when you have cheering sports fans with inspirational tunes blaring in the background. Perhaps not a smile as a result of what the filmmakers intended, but a smile nonetheless. The ultimate problem with the film lies in the fact that it strives to be merely another cheesy as fuck sports drama. This is a story about the first black player in the major leagues, and all we get is the typical hammy sports drama treatment. There is an alternation of incredibly hammy melodrama mixed with cheese, and it never really works. In all honesty the film had me feeling a bit cheated by the end. I felt like all I received was a fleeting glimpse into a damn special human. There is so much more than the man and story than what is on display here. While it's not awful, I can't help but feel the film in some ways cheated not only the story, but the man himself. Simply put......while not awful, the story deserved better treatment.

Maleficient is rising faster than a 90-lb 12-year old boy mainlining meth for the first time.

If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. IMO.

Maleficient is dropping faster than Charlie Sheen can say "winning" after snorting three lines of coke.

As Rich has called me out before, sometimes one just wants to say fudged as a verb. Therefore, fudged as fuck.

No doubt Disney is busily at work trying to fudge Maleficent in a way that makes them look best.

Hollow as fuck film. Good representation:Wife went to bathroom and asked what she missed. Despite watching the whole damn thing, I had no answer for her.Enough said.

There's nothing quite like celebrating mediocrity and hack-job ideas.

In the end the biggest sin of the film lies in the fact that it leaves no lasting impression. It gets off to a pretty brutal start. If you like watching old hags belt out tunes or dirty old men with the sex drive of 15-year old boys on Molly, the first 15 minutes is for you. While the proceedings here never really excel, at the very least it does find some grounding. For me, the film worked best when it focused on the characters. There were moments in which I was truly invested. Unfortunately it never really capitalized on those moments of clarity and instead was more comfortable treading the familiar and safe storylines that seem to frequent these type of films. The film just ended and I'm already have trouble remembering how they allocated over 90 minutes of material into it. . Perhaps that is its magic as it catapults you into the mind of an 80-year old who can't remember a damn thing. Perhaps I'm just ageist as fuck, but I generally didn't give a rat's ass about the plight of these old geezers.

Why choose one team when you can be double-teamed? IMO.

Indeed I did. If the story was this bad (and the story was pretty brutal), it needed more of a focus on the monsters. I don't mind a monster flick that is heavily dependent on story and character, but what I do mind is a monster flick with a lack of focus on monsters and a lame ass story with lame ass characters.

The problem isn't really that there was an attempt to make the film story and character-driven. The problem lies in the fact that the story and characters were so awful that the film was flat-out boring and lame whenever it didn't focus on the monsters. If you're going to make a story and character-driven monster flick, you better make damn sure the story and characters work. Enough said.

It's a shame the film either too embarrassed or perhaps just too incompetent to be the all-out monster film it clearly is meant to be. The end result is 20% is pretty badass and the remaining 80% is a exercise in bland, lame ass storytelling.

If anything this simply makes Pacific Rim look that much better to me. The monster aspect of the film is definitely awesome. The visuals are one thing, but the angles and style of the shots were simply damn cool. Unfortunately, this is the only aspect of the film I enjoyed. Whereas Pacific Rim embraced its sheer spectacle and over-the-top action, this film seemed almost embarrassed to embrace its origins. There was what seemed like an endless successful of build-ups that only led to more build-ups. The film basically acted like a giant tease. Unfortunately, the humans here were all pretty bland and the story itself was pretty damn brutal. Rather than let the monsters control the film (you'd think that would be a given) it seems an attempt to make a character and story-driven monster film was attempted. To say the film failed in this aspect would be an understatement. Simply put......in the end I'll remember this film more for the bad writing and story than the monsters. That in effect is a pretty accurate representation of everything that went wrong here.

I wish I could could plastered as fuck on a weekday.

What we have here is pretty much your base comedy. It'll make you laugh for a couple hours, but in the end the story is simply not there. Not bad, but I wouldn't argue if the phrase disposable as fuck was used to describe this.

Wife and I started a run through Disney's animation library last night, and it only makes sense to start with the fairy tale that started it all. One of those rare classic films that is great as a result of its influence and the fact the it still holds up to this day. Snow White is likely the flattest aspect of the film, but thankfully there's enough charm at hand that it doesn't really mean a damn thing. The story here flows so seamlessly it's hard to not get wrapped up in its innocence and purity. Very much a work of art and a staple of classic cinema.

You're good Crusader, good taste and reviewer. I agree on Winter Soldier, easily the best Marvel offering and one of the best comic offerings in general.

All the spin in the world doesn't change the fact that TASM2 is dropping faster than a penis going through a yeast infection.

When I say I've never read the comics and subsequently state that Garfield feels more like Spider-Man to me, there is an implied inference that is only based on the theatrical material.

Just read through this whole thread. This site has such a mob mentality regarding films. Look, this isn't a good film by any stretch. It has a pretty poor script, an awful score, and is all over the place at times. That being said, the nit-picking on here is quite frankly ridiculous. There are some good things to be had in this film but people would rather criticize tiny details that didn't really mean a damn thing in hopes of being with the "cool kids" who didn't like it. It's sad when I'm the one having to stick up a little for a comic film, and I didn't even necessarily like the damn thing. If you guys think this is really that bad, need to see more films. Enough said.

Personal intuition. Does it really matter? I enjoy Garfield much more than Maguire, I don't give a damn what is more accurate based on the comics.

It's not a bad watch, but in the end the best way to describe the film is simply messy as fuck. The strong point once again is the relationship between Peter and Gwen. Of course, no one can doubt Webb's ability for romantic drama, and such talent is clearly put on display here. It is this aspect of the film that provides the personality and heart, and it's what made the first film work. I feel it also allows the franchise to separate itself from other comic material that feels like it's just going through the motions. Unfortunately, I felt there just wasn't enough of this, and this is coming from a heartless bastard who generally hates romantic material. I'm not sure I've ever done this for a comic film, but credit has to go to Garfield here. He is simply fantastic, and one of the clear highlights of the film. Not having any literature-based knowledge on Spidey, he just feels like Spider-Man to me in ways Maguire never did. On to the negative.......unfortunately, there is little to no focus to be found. This is not solely limited to the handling of the villains, which actually ended up better than I expected going in. The film is simply all over the place regarding themes, tone, mood, storylines, etc. It's quite simply disorienting at times. The end result is very much akin to a double-edged sword. There is so much stimulation thrown at the viewer that the watch is pretty damn entertaining. Individual moments and scenes do stand out. Unfortunately, time to reflect allows all the flows and fallacies of the film to come to the forefront. In many ways the onslaught of events jades the viewer during the watch only to have them come down to earth once the high has run its course. One of those films in which all the parts (and there's way too many of them) have trouble in forming a coherent whole.