Baumer's/Tele's/Chas' 25 films that have brainwashed people into mindless adulation (Tele pg 26)

[baumer]

3) Citizen Fucking Kane: 

 

I'm 43 years old. I first saw this film in first year film studies in college.. It was required viewing for the course. I hated the film then. I then saw it five years later. I thought that maybe because I've had five years to grow and mature that I would perhaps understand the brilliance of it.  Once again, I was left angered and dismayed after watching the film.  Finally, about two years after that as I approached my 30's I gave it one more chance.  Surely now, it would all make sense.  And finally my opinion did change. I absolutely hated it then and now I just dislike it quite a bit. And the question that I have is why? Why is this film the masterpiece that people say it is? Is it really because it revolutionized film back in the 40's? Okay, so it invented the wipe and a technique called deep focus.  I'm sure all of you brainiacs as the forums know what deep focus is.  I didn't and had to look it up.  So I'll explain it to you, even though all of you know what it is and this contributed to the brilliance of Citizen Kane.  Deep focus is is a technique where the cinematographer uses lighting, composition, and a certain camera lens to produce the desired effect.  With deep focus, a filmmaker can showcase overlapping actions and mise en scene (the physical environment in which a film takes place) becomes more critical.  Greg Tolland, the DP on the film had used this technique on an earlier film called the Long Voyage Home, but it wasn't perfected or used so effectively until Kane.  

 

So on a technical level, the film is innovative. That may make historians and other cinephiles cum in the drawers but come on people, you cannot tell me that this is not one of the most boring films ever made on the face of this planet or any other planet that has theaters to watch movies in. How can you get excited about a film that creeps along like a snail moving across a highway in the middle of nowhere? I really feel like Welles is taking all of you for suckers. Because I think he set out to make a boring film just to see if audiences would have an orgasm over it because of its technical brilliance. I still think he is laughing. I know I would be.

 

 

 

There was really nothing to like in this film except for one thing. I can honestly admit that Welles' acting will stand up well today. He does play Kane with energy and he is believable. Almost all older films have cardboard actors that speak to fast, have little emotion, overact or are just plain bad actors. Kanes's second wife in the movie was so laughable that I eventually had to skip over most of her lines. She whined and cried and moaned and she was boring. You ever seen Aliens? Remember Newt, the little girl that Ripley takes care of, well that is Dorothy Corningmore's character as a little girl. What a joke.

Citizen Kane has pulled the wool over everyone's eyes for eight decades!!! Critics, well I can understand them liking this piece of garbage, they have to or they look like they are incompetent fools. That is their job. But the general public? I don't get it.  Why is this a tragic film? Why is this an American masterpiece? I am begging for some insight, because I haven't heard anything or read anything that says how great it is. All I have read is a bunch of people conforming to popular opinion that this is THE MOVIE to see.

I can name about 500 films that I have seen in my life time that are better than this and some of them I probably don't even like that much. I would even go so far as to say that even some of the bad Friday the 13th films  are better than this joke of a film.

 

By the way, this is what causes a boner in Citizen Kane:

 

Edited January 13, 2015 by baumer

[Dementeleus]

Wow, KANE is not #1? Now I'm intrigued.

[Jessie]

to be fair, I don't think the general public really give 2 shits about Citizen Kane

[Michael Gary Scott]

Never seen citizen kane

[Avatree]

Wow, I go one day without looking at this thread and I miss almost all of it.  

 

I don't agree at all about Jump Street. Tatum and Hill have great chemistry together, that's my favourite thing about those two movies.

 

I agree about The Hunger Games. I happen to think it's alright, if a bit odd (they make a very dark topic very light), but I don't see why everyone loves it. 

 

Hobbit? That feels out of place on this list as so many people despise the films. (Although I love them, admittedly)

 

I agree about most Marvel films. Captain America, Iron Man 1-3, Avengers - they're alright, some are even quite good, but they're not as amazing as some people make them out to be. Particularly Avengers, a film which I think is terrifically mediocre. However, Guardians of the Galaxy is a fantastic film.

 

Dark Knight Rises is out of place too, everyone hates on it. It's definitely not well-loved. I think The Dark Knight deserves to be on here, but TDKR shouldn't be on here as it doesn't have the widespread love that other movies on the list do. I happen to think TDKR is the best of the trilogy btw.

 

I COMPLETELY agree about Skyfall. I don't like any James Bond movie but Skyfall in particular is seriously overrated. I don't understand what there is to love about it. Javier Bardem with mummy issues? Think I'll pass.

 

Shakespeare in Love is great! I absolutely love that movie. It doesn't deserve some of the awards (Judi Dench getting Best Supporting Actress is a joke) but I think it's really good.

 

Agreed about the first Star Trek. It's decent enough but I don't see why everyone loves it. I liked Into Darkness more though.

 

 

I'm not gonna defend Chicago or anything, but the one musical that left a grin on your face was Rock of Ages? Really?

 

Haven't seen Chicago but Rock of Ages is fab. Fuck the haters.

 

 

Potter: YES. Fucking yes. Lol, I said at the start of this thread that maybe all 8 Potters should make it.. I'm pleased to see that they did.

 

How about, all 8 Harry Potters? 

 

 

to be fair, I don't think the general public really give 2 shits about Citizen Kane

Regardless, it's often referred to as the greatest movie of all time.

 

[baumer]

to be fair, I don't think the general public really give 2 shits about Citizen Kane

 

Really?  Try telling people here it sucks and you immediately become a troglodyte.  It's ranked number 64 on imdb.  There are PLENTY of regular people who have been brainwashed into liking the film.

[ShouldIBeHere]

Really?  Try telling people here it sucks and you immediately become a troglodyte.  It's ranked number 64 on imdb.  There are PLENTY of regular people who have been brainwashed into liking the film.

 

Absolutely.

 

While I kind of enjoyed it, people  jumped on me several times when I said I just thought it was "good" in real life. Even some people who have a rather shallow interest in movies but who were at some point told that this is one of the "best of the best" (that happens a lot with 2001, too).

Edited January 13, 2015 by ShouldIBeHere

[Jessie]

 

Regardless, it's often referred to as the greatest movie of all time.

 

 

On the internet maybe, but in the real world it most certainly isn't. I hadn't even heard of it before I came onto these forums. Id say something like Godfather is considered by a lot the greatest movie ever made.

[Avatree]

Absolutely.

 

While I kind of enjoyed it, people  jumped on me several times when I said I just thought it was "good" in real life. Even some people who have a rather shallow interest in movies but who were at some point told that this is one of the "best of the best" (that happens a lot with 2001, too).

2001 is the best film of all time. IF YOU DON'T AGREE THEN DIE!

 

Btw I'm really tempted to do a list of overrated films of the half-decade, while waiting for my turn in the Top 50.

[Jessie]

Really?  Try telling people here it sucks and you immediately become a troglodyte.  It's ranked number 64 on imdb.  There are PLENTY of regular people who have been brainwashed into liking the film.

 

WOW, I had no idea, then again its IMDB, they have interstellar at 17 for Christ sake. I like the film but 17? lol

[Avatree]

On the internet maybe, but in the real world it most certainly isn't. I hadn't even heard of it before I came onto these forums. Id say something like Godfather is considered by a lot the greatest movie ever made.

I'm very involved in gaming, and I hear the phrase "This is the Citizen Kane of gaming" more than I hear teenage boys bragging about whose mother they fucked. I think most people are aware that Citizen Kane is a highly regarded film, even if they haven't seen it themselves.

 

 

WOW, I had no idea, then again its IMDB, they have interstellar at 17 for Christ sake. I like the film but 17? lol

It will go down as the months/years pass by.

Edited January 13, 2015 by treeroy

[baumer]

2) Many Pixar films but especially the Toy Story Sequels and WallE:  Pixar, with the help of Disney, has convinced the masses that their brand of animation is deep and filled with human emotion and it represents all that is wonderful with the world.  In fact, their world is filled sunshine and rainbows, so much so that when toys are about to be incinerated, grown men cry, sorry, weep, sorry...they BAWL their damn eyes out.  Toys people. They're not real.  I digress.  Pixar loonies will also tell you that Pixar is the shining beacon of light and most other animated films from the other studios are simple cash grabs with no creative process to it.  They are slapped together over night so that Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen can make a quick buck.  But Pixar seeks out Mother Theresa for advice.  They somehow have convinced the masses that much of their profit from their films and merchandise goes to feed the hungry and cloth the poor and build homes for the transients.  Pixar can do no wrong.  They are benevolent, selfless, charitable, only create quality work while their rivals are simply out to make a quick buck.  

 

Pixar is on the right, everyone Dreamworks and other animated studios on the right:

 

 

Toy Story 3 and WallE especially imo are two of the main culprits here.  Their stories are saccharine.  Their world is filled with wonder and awe and good.  But underneath it all is a cold and calculated Machiavellian plot to control all of you.  And it's working.  In fact, don't be surprised if I don't show up to forums tomorrow.  The Pixar police will find me and they will kill me.  You are my witness.  

 

In fact, I am cutting this diatribe short because I think I hear a knock on the door.  

 

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 13, 2015 by baumer

[Jessie]

2001 is the best film of all time. IF YOU DON'T AGREE THEN DIE!

 

Btw I'm really tempted to do a list of overrated films of the half-decade, while waiting for my turn in the Top 50.

 

should add 2001 to that list

[Jessie]

 

I'm very involved in gaming, and I hear the phrase "This is the Citizen Kane of gaming" more than I hear teenage boys bragging about whose mother they fucked. I think most people are aware that Citizen Kane is a highly regarded film, even if they haven't seen it themselves.

 

 

It will go down as the months/years pass by.

 

 

Seriously I don't know a single person whos ever mentioned it, never have I heard anyone mention that film outside the internet and I talk about films too fucking much. It doesn't have the recognition of films like Godfather.

[Avatree]

I'm sorry but most Pixar films are somewhere between boring and utter shit.

[baumer]

2001 is the best film of all time. IF YOU DON'T AGREE THEN DIE!

 

Btw I'm really tempted to do a list of overrated films of the half-decade, while waiting for my turn in the Top 50.

 

Go for it.

[baumer]

should add 2001 to that list

 

I honestly don't remember anything about 2001.  I know I have seen it but probably 30 years ago.  Maybe if I remembered anything from that film, it would also make this list.  Or maybe I would absolutely love it.  

[Jessie]

2) Many Pixar films but especially the Toy Story Sequels and WallE:  Pixar, with the help of Disney, has convinced the masses that their brand of animation is deep and filled with human emotion and it represents all that is wonderful with the world.  In fact, their world is filled sunshine and rainbows, so much so that when toys are about to be incinerated, grown men cry, sorry, weep, sorry...they BAWL their damn eyes out.  Toys people. They're not real.  I digress.  Pixar loonies will also tell you that Pixar is the shining beacon of light and most other animated films from the other studios are simple cash grabs with no creative process to it.  They are slapped together over night so that Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen can make a quick buck.  But Pixar seeks out Mother Theresa for advice.  They somehow have convinced the masses that much of their profit from their films and merchandise goes to feed the hungry and clothing the poor and building homes for the transients.  Pixar can do no wrong.  They are benevolent, selfless, charitable only create quality work while their rivals are simply out to make a quick buck.  

 

PPixar is on the right, everyone Dreamworks and other animated studios on the right:

 

 

Toy Story 3 and WallE especially imo are two of the main culprits here.  Their stories are saccharine.  Their world is filled with wonder and awe and good.  But underneath it all is a cold and calculated Machiavellian plot to control all of you.  And it's working.  In fact, don't be surprised if I don't show up to forums tomorrow.  The Pixar police will find me and they will kill me.  You are my witness.  

 

In fact, I am cutting this diatribe short because I think I hear a knock on the door.  

 

 

 

oh baumer I love you. This is so so true

 

give back the days where Pixar was fun, not so self serious

Edited January 13, 2015 by jessie

[Wrath]

Really?  Try telling people here it sucks and you immediately become a troglodyte.  It's ranked number 64 on imdb.  There are PLENTY of regular people who have been brainwashed into liking the film.

 

YOU'RE A TROGLODYTE!

 

A few quibbles:

 

- I wish you'd stuck with hating Into Darkness instead of lumping the first one in as well, because the first one holds together a lot better

- Also, my biggest disagreements on the list are actually with SIL and Batman Returns, not because I loved them, but because other than the unbelievable fluke of SIL's Oscar performance, I've never heard of anyone seriously talking about them as good movies.

- Quibbling over the fight scenes in Kill Bill is kinda being picky.  I mean, I don't like Star Wars less because everyone remains conscious while the Falcon does 12g turns and every action hero, ever, should have been dead by the 2nd or 3rd scene.  Heck, we were watching Twister with the Wrathettes last night, and during the final bit (when they're strapped to the pipe and the eye of the tornado passes over them), Wrathette #2 (she's 8), looked at me and said "A normal person wouldn't actually survive that, would they?"  "No, they probably should be dead right now."  That having been said, I don't have an objection to Kill Bill being on the list.  I think big chunks of it are actually kinda boring.  I just object to that particular line of criticism.

 

Otherwise, I'm generally cool with the list.  Sure, there are some I like more or less, but they don't even rise to the level of quibbles.

 

Edit - As a final note, I agree on Wall-E.  Mrs Wrath had to keep poking me to keep me from falling asleep during it.

Edited January 13, 2015 by Wrath

[baumer]

Fantastic post Wrath.  You have me loling.