Rorschach Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 1 hour ago, cookie said: The Amityville Nightmare Jesus. Christ. Rarely has 108 minutes felt so long. So much happens in that amount of time that you feel like you've gone through an entire season of a television show by the time it's over. Nothing is allowed to breathe because it has to cram so much into such a short amount of time. And because you're so exhausted by the time the payoff rolls around it doesn't register like it should. Not that it really made the whole ordeal worth it anyhow. Some solid scares and acting save this from a lesser grade, but the makers should really think about how valuable pacing is next time. C Seriously, @Xillix, either this should've been a two-parter or 2 1/2 hours long. I thought going in that the long word count was because there was a lot of description, but there are so many subplots and sidesteps crammed in that the film in no realistic fashion could've been under two hours long. Plot Twist: Spoiler The movie was on fast forward the whole time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Or he mixed up the numbers and it’s actually 180 minutes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Just now, The Shape of Pasta said: Or he mixed up the numbers and it’s actually 180 minutes! Given the detail in the film, I wouldn't have minded if it was over three hours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 (edited) Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Great Unholy Oh thank Spaghetti Monster something that resembles a discernible reality. Occasionally amusing but doesn't feel like it has much to say about the religions it spoofs or even the subject of the comedy. Not one of SBC's strongest work. C+ And the Band Played On I don't feel like I'm doing this film a service by talking about it on such short terms, but this might just be one of the most important films ever made in CAYOM. It's a tale of many things; pride, denial, optimism, loss, politics, a world in chaos... It's probably as true to facts as a portrayal of the AIDS epidemic can get, but it's also a very emotional one, balancing the two out quite masterfully. This might be one of the shortest three hours I've ever felt, for the longer it went on, the more sucked in I became. There's something about that precision and attention to detail that never tires you out, and Michael Mann is one of the greatest at it (when he's on point, anyway). And that last shot does kill me. Is it the best movie of the year? That I have to think about. Is it the most important? Definitely. A Edited January 28, 2018 by cookie 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4815162342 Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 17 minutes ago, cookie said: And the Band Played On I don't feel like I'm doing this film a service by talking about it on such short terms, but this might just be one of the most important films ever made in CAYOM. It's a tale of many things; pride, denial, optimism, loss, politics, a world in chaos... It's probably as true to facts as a portrayal of the AIDS epidemic can get, but it's also a very emotional one, balancing the two out quite masterfully. This might be one of the shortest three hours I've ever felt, for the longer it went on, the more sucked in I became. There's something about that precision and attention to detail that never tires you out, and Michael Mann is one of the greatest at it (when he's on point, anyway). And that last shot does kill me. Is it the best movie of the year? That I have to think about. Is it the most important? Definitely. A Man the reception this time around is a fair deal better than in 2.0, where it was more of "appreciate and respect, but not love." I guess the edits and revisions I made paid off. I do recommend the non-fiction book it is based on to everyone to check out. There's a whole lot of stuff and other fairly important people I didn't touch on since that would require a whole miniseries. You'll also see where I made some changes for dramatic/emotional license (not that much, though the final scene is one of them) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 1 minute ago, 4815162342 said: Man the reception this time around is a fair deal better than in 2.0, where it was more of "appreciate and respect, but not love." 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 (edited) Spyro: Dragonheart Opening short Pigeon: Before the Migration: A Tom & Jerry riff that doesn't really have the laughs the last short had. Entertaining for small children but not much more. Movie: It's okay. Without the zaniness that Crash Bandicoot had there's nothing to distract you from the repetitive story and lacking character development, but what's there is fine for kids and passable for adults thanks to some decent animation. Harmless family fare. C+ Blood Blizzard Dull when it's predictable and dumb when it isn't. At least they didn't have it turn out to be ghosts. D+ Peter and the Starcatchers Last review of the year, here we go: I'm convinced the studio sent this out to die. Not only did they put it up against Voltron: Rise of Lotor (today's product placement is brought to you by @cookie) but the entire second act is missing. No really, I'm convinced the movie that plays in theaters isn't even finished. Can I even review this fairly? What the hell. F Edited January 28, 2018 by cookie 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 2 minutes ago, cookie said: Peter and the Starcatchers Last review of the year, here we go: I'm convinced the studio sent this out to die. Not only did they put it up against Voltron: Rise of Lotor (today's product placement is brought to you by @cookie) but the entire second act is missing. No really, I'm convinced the movie that plays in theaters isn't even finished. Can I even review this fairly? What the hell. F Great way to end the collective year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 (edited) 15 minutes ago, 4815162342 said: Man the reception this time around is a fair deal better than in 2.0, where it was more of "appreciate and respect, but not love." I guess the edits and revisions I made paid off. Either that or, like you told me regarding Second to Singapore last year, people grew on it. Edited January 28, 2018 by cookie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Knowing Parvelli won't be #1.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 Time to go through the worst of the year! ...Listed in review quotes. HONORABLE MENTIONS: "I spoke too soon. This is the very next scene. College graduates from a year back, all with rather non-prestigious jobs being able to afford a luxury suite in New York City? Bitch please." "I should've taken that guy's advice." "#FuckToddPhilips" "Christ, even Airplane! wasn't as ridiculous as this and that was supposed to be funny." "I've got nothing." BONUS: "Timmy's Winter Vacation 2 is what happens when you don't give a shit." AND NOW THE COUNTDOWN: #10 "You pair up Key & Peele with Adam Sandler and Kevin James. That should grant you an F already for having the gall to do that but I'm going to be fair here... nah, this is pretty bad." #9 "There's so many baffling logical leaps in this movie and its conclusion is so Pure Flix-level paranoid that it should infuriate me but I couldn't stop laughing." #8 "Man, and I thought Touching Spirit Bear was some bullshit." #7 "To say this movie was written over a weekend would be a disservice to actual procrastinators. This reads like it was thought up on a napkin in five minutes with no consideration whatsoever." #6 "It's like this was supposed to be a haunted house movie at conception but a third of the way through writing the script they suddenly decided to make it a killer husband story and just said "fuck it, it's not like anybody will notice that a third of our movie is completely useless now." #5 "THIS MOVIE SUCKS" #4 "STOP PUTTING MY BOY TARON IN BAD MOVIES" #3 "I'm convinced the studio sent this out to die." #2 "This shit is Sweeney Todd if it was intervened by UKIP." #1 "This didn't make me angry. This just made me depressed." 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Sorry @cookie: HM: Spoiler Bloody Mary Two Lonely Zookeepers Chaperones The Encounter...Airport 2018 Ho! Ho! Ho! Timmy's Winter Vacation 2 WORST: Spoiler 1. 120 Days of Sodom 2. Little Demons 3. Peter and the Starcatchers 4. The Screwtape Letters 5. Truth Is 6. The Beach House 7. Illusiono 8. My Life to Waste 9. Life After Death 10. Action Movie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 AND HERE WE ARE FOLKS, @cookie'S CORNER'S TOP 25! ...In GIF form. You might have to guess some of these. THE HONORABLE MENTIONS: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xillix Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 1 minute ago, cookie said: AND HERE WE ARE FOLKS, @cookie'S CORNER'S TOP 25! ...In GIF form. You might have to guess some of these. THE HONORABLE MENTIONS: Hide contents I only know what two of these are, and the GIFs are killing Chrome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 Just now, Xillix said: I only know what two of these are, and the GIFs are killing Chrome True. Should probably change the format. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 The Honorable Mentions were: Damnation Alley The Maid Ultra-Man 56 Days of Love Crash Bandicoot 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 7 minutes ago, cookie said: AND HERE WE ARE FOLKS, @cookie'S CORNER'S TOP 25! ...In GIF form. You might have to guess some of these. THE HONORABLE MENTIONS: Hide contents Spoiler You should have used this gif for 56 Days of Love: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 Cookie's Corner Top 25! ...But listed in alphabetical order (top 5 excluded), so you don't know the actual ranking before I post the full list >:) American Dragon: Jake Long Blood and Fur 2: Maul-Ma Mater Bounty Hamster Gorillas The Human Revolution Lord of the Flies Midnight in Afghan Valley On the Beach Our City Pokémon: The Journey Begins The Road to El Dorado The Simulation Skeleton Crew Ta2ed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills The Terrible Plight of Freddy Zapper Torrential The Towering Inferno Treasure Planet War of the Gods 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 6 minutes ago, The Shape of Pasta said: Reveal hidden contents You should have used this gif for 56 Days of Love: I wanted an Ang Lee gif and that shitty Hulk movie happened to be on TV as I made the post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 1 minute ago, cookie said: I wanted an Ang Lee gif and that shitty Hulk movie happened to be on TV as I made the post. ....I thought the Hulk thing was Damnation Alley. I forgot what movie Damon was in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
