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CAYOM Festival - Year 7 - Three-Month Funeral triumphs

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Honestly, when riczhang said Innocense was the most Hanekeian of all CAYOM films yet, I took that as a huge compliment. :)

:lol: Haneke to me is like only one rung below Goddess Meryl and I'm like :worthy:

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I wonder what would happen if I did a movie where Meryl was directed by Haneke.... ;)

 

If you do a shot for shot English language remake of Amour starring Meryl Streep and Jeremy Irons, it'll be a guaranteed #1. There's no doubt about that. That needs to happen in real life in 20 years when Meryl's old and eighty something years old. It'll probably win her Oscar #7, :lol:

 

What really pisses me off was that Riva was too goddamn unknown to win the Oscar. I love her, and she's top 5 greatest actresses of all time for me (even before Amour was even announced); but if Catherine Deneuve did the film she'd probably have walked away with the Oscar. :(

 

Anyways sorry guys for the rant. 

 

/rant. 

Edited by riczhang
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Live Snarking the 1st CAYOM Film Festival - Nikki Finke

 

"I just received word from a senior studio executive that one of the panel members had to be forcibly dragged into the screening of The Academy as he did not want to miss the Haneke press conference. Shame on you. You're supposed to be judging the films, not that I place any faith in any panel of any sort, not fanboying." 

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It is exactly like Cloud Atlas I guess, let's see which side our panel landed on:

 

 

The Academy

A Numbers Review

5 Stories, 4 More Than Needed

The Academy is the CAYOMverse's answer to Cloud Atlas. It is not a passing answer. The Academy has this setup: Late in the 21st Century there is a special academy for special people that churns out Elliot (James McAvoy, alternating between dour and manic idealism), a man ready to fight against the despotic future USA government. Society is controlled by The Elixir, a drink that heightens general human cognition and focus, while suppressing human emotions and individuality. Elliot is part of a band of freedom fighters who want to stop the Elixir and free society and you get the picture. So we have a dystopian future film that involves themes of pharmaceutical and chemical control/manipulation of the human soul. Interesting right?

Well, it would be, if the film didn't suddenly go "Well, I'm glad you like his premise, now excuse me while I show you four other storylines about people's lives ending up in the shitter and the only link between them is that they were students of the same Academy and drink the same elixir. The first story takes place in 1848 and it-" WAIT A MINUTE.

This Academy existed in the mid-19th Century, correct? It had this Elixir all the way back then too correct? I'm sorry Film, but you just opened a gigantic can of worms of questions, mysteries, and concerns that you never ever ever in a moment even consider to address in the film. Who started the Academy? When did it start? When was the Elixir created? How was it created? If the Elixir has been existing for near 250 years at least, why did it take that long for someone to get the bright idea to give to society at large? What relevance do the other four stories have to our dystopian future?

Well, in 1848 you have Lawyer Jeremy who may or may not have framed an innocent man for his racist boss and then gets suddenly mind-controlled by his boss. What? The other timelines establish that the Elixir encourages conformity, but conforming to a totalitarian regime with soldiers and guns is not the same as being mind-controlled by a prick. So that's a hole meant to hammer down that the ELIXIR IS BAD. Then in 1915 you have Suffragette Sandra who stops taking the Elixir, campaigns for the right to vote for women, kills her husband in a rage, and then gets executed. Hold on, we're told that the Elixir suppresses human emotions and Sandra kills her husband because she loses her temper and goes ballistic and gets executed as a result...so the Elixir is now good? Then in 1967 you have Soldier Peter whose use of the Elixir makes him a better soldier and leader and helps the US Army out. Then a general finds Elixir Bottles in his belongings, think's they're liquor bottles, gets him kicked out of the army, and Peter has a sad lonely life in a menial job. Hold on now, first off, alcohol is pretty distinct in smell and taste. It'd take about one second of smell or taste-test for the general to know that shit ain't alcohol. So he'd ask Peter what it was and since Peter is supposed to conform because of the Elixir's effects he'd tell the general what it was and the general would make inquiries and worst-ase scenario you got the US Army all being hopped up on the Elixir and dominating the battlefield. Instead you have the general acting like a ignoramus just so the story can end with PETER SAD AND ELIXIR BAD. Finally you have in the present day JLAW Maya, who goes off the Elixir and as a result freely enjoys a lesbian relationship until her girlfriend's parents find out and force the girlfriend to break things off. Way to go girlfriend for being an adult and getting browbeaten. Wait...the girlfriend doesn't have the Elixir, yet she conforms to her parents, so The Elixir is Bad and Parents are Bad? And why would Maya go back to drinking the Elixir? If she felt free and great, why wouldn't she stay off it and hope to find a new love? BECAUSE FILM WANTS SAD ENDING WITH BAD ELIXIR.

So, all that past storyline nonsense is just distracting, unsubtle rigamarole that has lots of holes and issues and personal stupidity and inconsistencies. So what about the main storyline? Well the majority of it isn't that shabby, considering it's got four other plots tearing away at its screentime. Elliot is essentially on the lam from police and has secret codes to a resistance hideout and they think of ways to find out how to free the nation and he figures that since the Academy closed not long after Dictator Carson took over, there may be some secrets there they can use. Elliot suggests past records for past students could help out...and why? The four stories we get shown show that people's lives get fucked over for reasons other than the Elixir, so they don't make a compelling case that Carson and the Elixir are bad. Anyways Elliot and some dudes go to the Academy and meet his old headmaster who tells them that he realizes the Elixir is bad, the Academy was bad, and Carson was a former student. Makes sense that Carson was a student. And then...we have the appearance of the Idiot Ball.

Dictator Carson, the guy who rules America with an iron fist, shows up with a measly two bodyguards to confront Elliot. WHAT. THE. FUCK? This is plot/character idiocy of the highest order. So yeah, no big surprise when Elliot shoots Carson and gets shot back. Then the Academy gets blown up and we have a montage of the world becoming liberated. Wait...hold on. All that happened is that Carson died and a useless old Academy (which they got ZERO useful information from) was blown up. The totalitarian government is still there, the Elixir is still there, if anything this would cause the Elixir people to become even more obedient and conformist to weed out the "terrorists." There's nothing that suggests that everything would be all sunshine and roses for the revolutionaries all of a sudden. Now the final monologue is fairly appropriate and if narrated over the final scene things would have ended well, uncertain but hopeful. But that pre-ending montage just makes no sense and throws a likely studio-mandated happy ending over the whole canvas.

Final Grade: D+

 

 

Riczhang review:

 

It’s hard to know where to start with the Academy; it’s a valiant effort to grasp at something bigger but fails in the most spectacular fashion. It fails to tell a story, or perhaps it’s because it tries to tell too many stories that it fails. The film cranks up the melodrama to the max, and then throws a bunch of stuff at a wall hoping that some of it will stick and make a semi-decent picture.

Each of the five stories that The Academy tries to tell is a worthy story in its own right, and each could’ve made a good film had they been fleshed out. Instead, five stories, only tied together by the elixir but otherwise completely unrelated, are shown to us at once and the film neither presents us a concept or idea to unify the stories nor does it explore each one outside of a cursory passing over. It makes no sense. The end result is a film that doesn’t know where it wants to go, and leaves many, many questions unanswered and disregarded. For example, the elixir what the actually fucking hell does it do? You kinda get a picture in the film but it isn’t really clear. It supresses human individuality for sure, but one can’t seem to tell if it actually makes a human better or if it makes them worse. I can’t pin it down but there seems to something contradictory about all of this. All of this isn’t helped by the editing of the film which can be described as sloppy at the best of times (aka Spaghetti, please go back and edit the film so we don’t have to confuse ourselves when we see that George is reading a letter that George wrote to him, or George’s asking George something and George refuses. Thanks)

Now we arrive at the main storyline in 2081. Nothing in the storyline makes any sense; the film ends on a happy note but as far as I can tell nothing’s changed. Sure one leader’s dead but the oppressive regime still seems to continue on. Everything in this section, especially from the group’s arrival at the Academy, is pure melodrama. You have repentant headmasters, evil megalomaniacs, and the works. All designed to tug at your heartstrings so you can cry, laugh, smile, and feel joy at times where none of those emotions are really necessitated. It’s like Extremely Long and Incredibly Condescending meet Gigli meet Atonement and Pride and Predjudice, and then trying to pass it off as Cloud Atlas. It simply doesn’t work. Though, on the brighter side, at least it’s well shot and looks beautiful for the most part.

2.5/10

 

 

Alfred:

 

Concept/Idea: 10/8
Plot/Story/Characterisation: 10/4
Casting: 10/5
Opening: 5/3
Ending: 5/2
Location: 5/4
X Factor Bonus: 5/2

Overall: 56%

Edited by Alfred Beyond The Pines
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The Fall of Boss Tweed received a 54 Metacritic score, currently the lowest of the festival.

 

I am not sure if this will fair well for Scott's other film Captiva Island coming out in March.

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