Title: Homestar Runner's Cruddy Debut Movie
Director: Matt and Mike Chapman [The Brothers Chaps]
Genre: Animated Comedy/Satire
Release Date: January 4
Major Cast: Matt Chapman (Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, The King of Town, Bubs, Coach Z, Homsar) Missy Palmer (Marzipan) Mike Chapman (Pom-Pom, Poor Impressions of Other Characters) They Might Be Giants (Themselves), Mark Lemke (Himself)
Theater Count: 1,591
MPAA Rating: PG [Mild language, crude humor, cartoon violence]
Runtime: 87 minutes/1:27
Production Budget: $10 million
The movie begins with Strong Bad mumbling to himself on the couch, half-asleep. "Ohh... Uniracers."
"Wake up, Strong Bad! It's time to start the movie!" whines his baby brother, Strong Sad.
"I don't wanna go to film school," Strong Bad replies, still lazing about on the couch.
"But you said you'd start it at noon! And it's noon!"
Strong Sad hands his brother a script. "Homestar Runner's Cruddy Debut Movie", it reads.
"CRUD?" shouts Strong Bad. "I was pretty sure, the last time I saw this, it was crap."
"The marketing people, the censors. They decided it had to be toned down for families."
"What a load of crap... crud."
The official movie begins now, after this short introduction. Homestar Runner is sitting in at a desk, looking at a bottle of strange-looking liquid, with "DNA EVIDENCE" written on it in poor handwriting. "I have this... DAN evidence. Bubs is supposed to pick it up, but he's not here yet." There is a loud knock on the door. "Come on in!" Homestar says.
It's Strong Bad, wearing a very poorly-designed "BUBS" mask with blue crayon scrawled over a piece of paper in an attempt to convince people he is Bubs. Homestar is somehow convinced of that this is Bubs, and hands the DNA evidence to him without questioning anything.
We cut to Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat. "That was too easy!" Strong Bad cackles, as The Cheat replies with his trademarks squeak language, and Strong Mad shouts out "DOUG THE DINO!!!!"
Strong Bad groans; Strong Mad has been obsessing over his poorly-drawn creation, Doug the Dino. All of the sudden, as the three of them are walking across the field toward Strong Badia, Homsar and Senor Cardgage both mysteriously appear.
"Seventh Paul," mumbles Senor Cardgage.
"Jake's got a third elbow!" shouts Homsar.
This startles Strong Bad, and he drops the DNA Evidence. There's a strange reaction with the grass. Not some chemical reaction, but a portal opens up to another dimension. The five of them are sucked into this portal, and are placed in a strange room, full of various Homestar Runner characters and spinoffs. There's the old-timey (1936) characters, the 20x6 variety, and then Teen Girl Squad/4 Gregs, and the Cheat Commandos.
There are snippets of conversation we hear from all four of these groups. The theme is, they are confused about what happened. We hear Sci Fi and D&D Greg arguing about whether this was caused by a Level 20 Wizard or an advanced alien race.
But all these familiar faces disappear, and they see the rest of the gang interacting with two new strange groups.
Coach Z and Bubs are chatting with Mark Lemke [the namesake of Homestar Runner], while the King of Town anxiously looks for a source of food. Strong Sad and Marzipan are playing some strange indie rock with They Might Be Giants, with Pom-Pom recording some shots for his latest indie movie. Homestar looks just as he did when he was watching over the DNA evidence back at the office.
"What is going on here?" Homestar inquiries.
"I don't think that was DNA evidence you had there, Homestar," suggests Strong Sad.
"Then what was it?"
"I know!" admits Coach Z. "It's a mix... of all the drinks at the concession stand, and my special terlet worter!"
"Your what?" everyone asks him.
Bubs, who has the most experience deciphering Coach Z's accent, quickly realizes what he's talking about. "Ew!"
The Cheat lets out a few Cheat noises, and Pom-Pom makes some bubble sounds. Everyone laughs as though something hilarious was just said.
"Nothing's completed without... throwing bricks!" Strong Bad tries to throw a brick at Homestar, who easily ducks out of the way. It hits Strong Sad instead. Strong Bad lets out his trademark evil laugh; he was hoping to hit Homestar, but hitting his stupid baby brother is a good result as well.
With They Might Be Giants playing their instruments, the cast bursts into a song "Late Decemberween Presents". Snow begins to fall in the background on cue.
I forgot to get you a present
Not even a homemade ornament
Or a gift card to a store you've never seen
I kind of hope this song makes up for it
But, I don't really care
So let's raise a cup of hot jones
To belated holiday cheer!
The credits roll here. Strong Bad pops out near the end of the credits. "WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?! THERE'S NO SECRET ENDING! AND CLEAN UP BEFORE YOU GO!"