The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)

[baumer]

Discuss

[lab276]

Unbelievably generic, think of any YA trope and it's in this movie played straight. Also, the guy they got to play Jace was ugly.D

Edited August 24, 2013 by lab276

[Mauro Teixeira]

So, I just arrived home from the screening.

On Thursday, when the movie was released here, I checked and TMI was being shown in the big rooms. Since they don't usually change screening times or rooms until the next thursday, I thought I had the opportunity to see this in a big room. I'm the kind of guy who likes watching a movie in the big rooms. I remember when Twilight 1 first came out I had two girl friends who dragged me to it and the screening was in a small room and the sound quality was so bad I promised myself I'd never pay a ticket again for so low quality. So when I bought TMI ticket I had now idea the theatre had changed the movie to a small screen.

Fortunately I guess they upgraded they're systems because the quality of the screening was actually pretty good, even though I'm not fan of flat (like 5º inclination) theatre rooms.

 

It was a 119 seat room, only like 60% of them were occupied, which is not good for the first sunday of a movie. I guess the highlight of the screening was the CF teaser trailer before the movie - as soon as it started you had some fangirls screeming at it.

 

The movie starts and... it looks decent enough. Lena Headey looks nice, Clary looks fine, Simon too, and I generally liked the way they started. Jace shows up, they changed some things from book but really minor stuff and I generally liked the way it was coming along.

We are about 25% of the movie and I see they changed certain events in time: things that should happen after certains scenes are starting before. I wasn't bodered by it, specially when I was finding the story a little more cohese than the books which seemed like a mission-based videogame where you do this, and then this, and then this... at least the movie was somewhat cohesive.

 

But then we get to 50% of the movie and everything changes: they simply stopped following the book. Really, it's almost totally different, and I'm not exagerating, they changed everything.

 

And like that isn't enough, they started ADDING stuff to the story. So yes, there is a lot of information for the viewer to absorb: that's actually characteristic of the story. The problem is they added more information, or they changed major aspects of the plot.

There's even some scenes where they started adding information from the second book to this first movie. I was like: "Are you f***ing kidding me?".

 

Look, I've read all the books, I consider them decent books, but they changed so much and started telling so much from the next books that even I felt confused. It seemed like there was absolutely no time for me to adjust and for the audience to absorb the story, there was no breathing time. Everything was happening and happening so fast there was no time for the viewer to actually reflect about it. The storytelling is simply bad.

 

Another problem is the filmmaking. There are some scenes that are climatic in the book and then in the movie... nothing. They're there, but they are simply not impressive. The first time we see a Silent Brother, for example - there's no impact. The first time we actually see Valentine - no impact again. The revelation about Jace's past - completely different, completely blant. The confrontation with Dorothea - what?

 

A portal inside the Institute? Demons inside the Institute? Are you kidding me, that shouldn't even be possible.

And there were many details that were completely butchered and forgotten just so the changes they made to the plot could work.

 

There are so many cheesy lines here and so many forced scenes that I can't honestly say I liked the movie, even being a fan of the story. I think being a fan actually made me hate to movie.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT one of those fans that gets pissed when the characters eyes have a different color. I'm fairly tolerant to change, I thought The Hunger Games movie was a very faithfull adaption, for example, and I completely understand that filmmakers have to make some changes in order to make a movie, but... the second half of the plot was completely butchered by the filmmakers.

 

 

Regarding the OST, there was a tune that kept being reused, which was disapointing.

Regarding the special effects: pretty nice actually. You can tell they are the cheap kind, but they are good enough for a fantasy movie like this. Nowadays even the cheap effects look good.

Regarding the acting, Jamie Campbell Bower couldn't pull off Jace but was decent enough. Lily Collins was good enough, I guess. Robert Sheehan was very good. Jonathan Rhys Meyers I can't even understand, his character is so different from the book. Jared Harris didn't have much to work with in the movie... Lena Headey was very good. CCH Pounder was good enough. Kevin Durand was very good (even though he had some ridiculous scenes). Kevin Zeggers and Jemina West pulled off their characters.

 

So, as fan of the series, I was very disappointed, so I'll give this a 6 / 10 (for my standards, everything bellow 5 is garbage, so...)

 

Seriously, this is what happens when filmmakers start changing things just for the sake of changing them. I can't believe Cassie Clare went for this... 

 

I thought they couldn't butcher a story more than they did with "The Golden Compass". Apparently I was wrong.

Edited August 25, 2013 by mtX

[Sam]

So I was unfortunate enough to be dragged to see this movie. I don't know anything about the books and have no expectations going in. Man, it was just bad. The only nice thing is some set pieces and CGI, everything else is simply hard to watch. Actings are so so at best, dialogues are cringe-worthy, excessive expositions that went nowhere. And it seems like the movie went on and on, nothing exciting and substantial happened. The love triangle: LOL, that's the only response I can think of. There's no chemistry between the leads at all for any kinds of relationships to be convincing, let alone romance. Direction and editing are sloppy. The movie failed at story-telling. After watching it, I have absolutely no desires to check out the books. It's easily the worst movie I've seen this year. My friend who dragged me to see this hated the movie and seemed angry about it even more than I did (maybe it has something to do with the fact that she paid for both tickets and popcorn/drinks ) As usual for us after a bad movie, frozen yogurts were consumed and we moved on, never wanting to discuss about it again.I rarely gave out this grade cause I can usually find something redeemable about a bad movie, but I had no enjoyment watching TMI, it was really a waste of time. So F.

Edited August 26, 2013 by Sam

[baumer]

The problem with this film imo is that as a casual movie-goer, one who has not read the book, is that I have no clue what the hell was going on.  There's apparently angels and demons and the demons are bad because we are told they are bad.  There's really nothing that shows them being bad except that they want some cup that Henry Jones Sr. used to get better in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  I think this cup gives you immortality by putting blood into it.  Or maybe it turns you into a vampire or a werewolf.  I really have no idea.  There was some scene where it looked like bad out takes from The Prophecy with Christopher Walken.  Angels and demons (where's Tom Hanks?) fight for something and then someone takes the cup and hides it.  A 1000 years later (I think) people come looking for it.  It's never explained how they can find the person who has the cup but they do.  Then there is a human in this story who can see the shadow hunters.  Humans aren't supposed to be able to, but for reasons that I can't remember, he can.  Also, this dude gets bit by a vampire but he never turns.  I assume this will be expanded on in the next film?

 

People do things in this film that make no sense.  They rescue people that mean nothing and then the good guys show up when they shouldn't be able to.  There's werewolves and vampires in this film and I'm still wondering what special traits the shadow hunters have?  They seem like they live for a very long time but other than a sword that disintegrates people they really don't seem to have any special powers.  

 

There's also a scene with a werewolf in human form who is getting the shit beat out of him by a demon and he refuses to turn into a werewolf.  Why?  What possible reason does he have to stay in human form?

 

There's a scene were Clary kisses her brother, makes out with him and then sappy Dawson's Creek music comes on and sprinklers go off.  Cheesy, but not as cheesy and ridiculous as the next scene where for no reason at all whatsoever, her brother gets mad at her for being surprised that her friend is at the door to a room.  He then throws a hissy fit and both men decide to leave.  There's more.

 

For Clary to remember her suppressed memories, she has to go to a mausoleum, go to the basement with a bunch of guys that have their mouths sewn shut and then they put her in a circle and she remembers shit, and then faints.  Her brother can't go with her to the circle, for reasons unexplained but I guess it must be for dramatic effect.  After she figures out that Bane from TDKR is who she has to go see, the whole crew, including her human friend with no fighting ability and really shouldn't be in this film, go to a nightclub to see Bane.  Clary must dress like a Gothic slut to go see Bane.  I'm not sure why, but this is the only part of the movie I didn't mind, seeing Collins dress like a whore. After this nightclub scene, her human friend gets kidnapped by vampires and strung up shirtless from the ceiling.  Again, why?  And why do the vampires want the cup?  They are already immortal.

 

Then when the dude comes back from the water portal, he claims that he is Clary's dad.  He then lines up a bunch of swords into the ground and this opens up another stream where I was expecting the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man to come out.  But instead it's just a bunch of really pissed off crows. Then the hot shadow hunter has to hold them off with an S&M electrified whip.  

 

Oh yea, Clary, along the way tells one of the shadow hunters that he is gay and has a hard on for her brother.  This is literally out of nowhere as there is never any kind of sexual tension between those two.

 

It's like this film just randomly took a bunch of stuff, filmed it and put it together with Crazy Glue.  Not much makes sense and the only good thing about it is that the two women in it are pretty hot.

 

***the characters who make out may or may not be brother and sister. but it's more fun to pretend they are.

 

2/10

Edited August 27, 2013 by baumer

[baumer]

And one caveat, if my summation of the film is not really what the film is about, then that just goes to show you how fucking ridiculous the film is.  

[Kvikk Lunsj]

I am loving the reviews for this. I am going to watch this on netflicks. 

[seegs]

Most boring movie I have ever seen, it was actually a struggle to not get up and leave halfway through.

 

F-

[Kvikk Lunsj]

This sounds like the worst film of the year.

[Marlon Brando]

Did Sony seriously think that they've got the next Hunger Games in their hands?

[Marlon Brando]

140 minutes of rip-offs from almost all the fantasy movies ever released. For these type of movies, I give a fucking 'F'!