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Alpha's Y9 Top 25 (Coming Soon)

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    I'm starting my review thread for Year 9, and because I never follow up on requests, I'm just gonna be doing reviews in order of release date. Here's the reviews for all the movies in January (besides mine).

     

    MineMine is a low-budget horror movie that tropes every found-footage cliché in the book. Guy films things for some reason, turns out there’s a paranormal entity and boom,

    everyone dies.

    As more and more films come out like Mine, this subgenre becomes less scary and more predictable. D+

     

    SamaraAn ehh interpretation of The Ring character’s creepy past, Samara lacks some of the emotional investment this story could’ve provided. Samara Morgan is a demon, yes, but there’s a lot of stuff that could’ve happened in her backstory that led to her evil ways. Instead, the main character is made to be a generic supernatural creature. I rolled my eyes at a few parts, and while I enjoy the performances from Jessica Chastain and Christian Bale, this prequel falls short. C

     

    Ship of LiesA mystery that does a good job of keeping the audience invested in the story. David Tennant and Jenna Louise Coleman do a great job of portraying James and Hannah, and the answer is always up in the air, of course until it’s solved, to which it’s honestly quite surprising. So instead of seeing the generic Mine and Samara, instead go see Ship of Lies, because it’s just as thrilling, and much less reliant on tropes. B

     

    Alice in HorrorlandTo be honest, I liked Alice in Horrorland. This adaptation of American McGee’s Alice series is much more original, and as frightening as it is intriguing. Neil Jordan helms his cast really well, who also bring their great talent to this film. I would definitely want to see more horror movies like this. B

     

    Tortoise RunI can’t really say much about it, other than it’s like The Nut Job. C+

     

    Among the Imposters

    I enjoyed Among the Hidden, and so by default I enjoyed Among the Imposters. Ty Simpkins is a great child actor, and Bryan Cranston is pretty cool too. B+

     

    Dystopia, USAIt’s quite a lot like the Scary Movie series, especially with David Zucker as director. I thought it was funny in some parts, but I think it did suffer from trying to mock every sci-fi movie from the last few years. C

     

    The Last Six (3D Rerelease)Thanks to this rerelease, I’m now able to understand what’s gonna happen in Return of the Last Six. But anyways, it’s a big of a drag, but I do think it’s blockbuster eye-candy. Everything’s all around ok. B-

     

    SkyjumperI think it’s a fine inspirational story, and the skydiving sequences are very well-crafted.

    I think it suffers from the car crash twist in the middle of the story

    , but overall I think it’s good if you’re into extreme sports. B-

    Edited by Alpha
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    February Reviews (Part 1)

     

    Numbers Theory

    I like Liam Neeson action movies. They give you a sense of thrill, and don't forget to mention, the guy's a great actor. I liked Numbers Theory, mainly because it has the qualities of a good Liam Neeson thriller (Taken, Non-Stop) than a bad Liam Neeson thriller (Unknown). Watch it with your friends, it's cool and badass. B+

     

    Ice Desert

    I found the conflict between the polar bears and the penguins interesting, and I think the story can connect with a lot of people. Another good thing is that Lana Del Rey doesn't sing. So, yeah. I liked it. B-

     

    Sweet Disposition

    A generic romance story with generic performances, generic direction, generic storytelling, and generic generic. generic

     

    Walking Alone

    The first Walking With You was a great post-apocalyptic story, and I was excited for Walking Alone. I think this one definitely suffers from the absence of the chemistry between Olivia Wilde and Channing Tatum (now that Tatum's character is dead), but thankfully the story is more complex and the new supporting characters are given life by the actors. B-

     

    The Best of You

    Like Sweet Disposition, it has no originality. Seriously, these romantic dramas are all the same. generic 2.0

     

    The Tudors

    The Tudors, like The Normans, is a documentary that's more of a textbook excerpt than a documentation. A description of events doesn't equal a documentary, Films. C+

     

    The Cave

    Gareth Edwards puts together both psychological horror and supernatural horror in The Cave, and the formula mixes well. B-

     

    Part 2 is on the way.

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    I had a feeling Walking Alone would be polarizing, but aside from a few third act issues, I'm surprisingly proud of it. It's a unique set-up for a sequel and it works well as a stand alone film, as Rukaio said. I'm skeptical of predicting huge numbers, though, as Tatum may have played a role in the film's success.

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    THE TOP FIVE MOVIES OF QUARTER ONE

     

    5. Numbers Theory

    I liked Numbers Theory, mainly because it has the qualities of a good Liam Neeson thriller (Taken, Non-Stop) than a bad Liam Neeson thriller (Unknown). Watch it with your friends, it's cool and badass.

     

    4. Ship of Lies

    A mystery that does a good job of keeping the audience invested in the story. David Tennant and Jenna Louise Coleman do a great job of portraying James and Hannah, and the answer is always up in the air, of course until it’s solved, to which it’s honestly quite surprising.

     

    3. Walking Alone
    I think this one definitely suffers from the absence of the chemistry between Olivia Wilde and Channing Tatum (now that Tatum's character is dead), but this movie is saved by the more complex story and the new supporting characters given life by the brilliant actors involved.

     

    2. Teen Titans

    Me gusta. Fun, energetic, pretty much all I want in a superhero movie. It's not thought-provoking in any sense, but that's not it's job. It's meant to be entertaining, and that where this movie best succeeds.

     

    1.

    The Thin, the Fat and the Felon

    What A Million Ways to Die in the West could've been. This is a great play on the western genre, and Edgar Wright's always impeccable style is as fitting as it's ever been. Kudos to Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, one of the best comedic duos to come out in a while, for bringing their great talent to their characters. David Tennant, Nathan Fillon and Benedict Cumberbatch also give some pretty damn good performances. Would definitely watch again.

    Edited by Alpha
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    MY MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF THE SECOND QUARTER (IN ORDER OF RELEASE DATE)

     

    Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. the Underworld (April 5th) - I love how this series has begun developing it's own cinematic universe, and everything is being connected throughout each film. The Giant Spiders were horror-tastic, and Santa Claus was anything but jolly (or at least jolly in the wrong way). But Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson facing the entire Pit of Fire? I'm in!

     

    Me and My Shadow (April 12th) - It's too bad that the real project was canceled, but I'm glad Spaghetti took the idea and is making it his own. Hourglass Pictures has shown creativity in all of it's animated efforts (HDH over LOR  :ph34r: ), and I've heard enough good things about Me and My Shadow that I'm ready to see what Spaghetti has brought to the table.

     

    Star Wars: Age of the Republic (May 17th) - Because it's fucking Star Wars. I'm highly anticipating what Numerator Pictures does with one of my favorite movie franchises.

     

    YZMA (May 24th) - I grew up on movies like The Emperor's New Groove, and this could be the movie Maleficent wasn't. Don't dissapoint me Blankments.  ;)

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    For this quarter's reviews, I will be open for as many requests as you want, and presenting them as Honest Trailers. Since I haven't seen this done before, I think this will be pretty damn awesome.Only requested movies get the Honest Trailer review.

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    For this quarter's reviews, I will be open for as many requests as you want, and presenting them as Honest Trailers. Since I haven't seen this done before, I think this will be pretty damn awesome.Only requested movies get the Honest Trailer review.

    Epicer Chase. I need this to get as many bad reviews as possible. :)
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