BOF: The Murder Mystery (Chapter Ten - The End!)

[Spidey Freak]

Be careful what you post the image of an angel becomes an angel

 

Ack, creepiest beings ever!!! 

[Fancyarcher]

So is Tele the old guy? 

 

EDIT: This is why I should read back.

 

Yup.

[Ezen Baklattan]

I don't appear in the prologue when the murder goes off. That certainly gives off some suspicion...

 

[Fancyarcher]

I don't appear in the prologue when the murder goes off. That certainly gives off some suspicion...

 

 

Let's just say, the murderer and his accomplices will (hopefully) shock you all.

Edited July 17, 2014 by Pokearcher

[darkelf]

So Blank and Empire are these guys:

 

And Tele is Poirot? (without the accent)

 

Good stuff here

[Fancyarcher]

Tele is pretty much Poirot like. Good call darkelf.

Edited July 17, 2014 by Pokearcher

[grim22]

Blank and Empire

 

[Blankments]

I enjoy this.

 

For some reason though, I imagined Empire and I as two alternative things

 

One of us with a British accent and one with a French accent

 

Or Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill

[Fancyarcher]

I enjoy this.

 

For some reason though, I imagined Empire and I as two alternative things

 

One of us with a British accent and one with a French accent

 

Or Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill

 

Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill is more likely, though I can imagine you two with British and French accents.

[Fancyarcher]

Chapter One: Meet the Detectives  

 

The body of Mr. Pink was on the floor. Everyone at the dinner party is starring at his body.

 

Impact: Is… he DEAD, or he is just playing dead?

 

Reddevil18: Nah, he’s just trying to play a prank on us. MrPink is that kind of fella. Doesn’t care who gets hurt, he just likes to have what he considers “fun”.

ChD: I’d say the grim reaper decided to pay a visit and took his soul (laughs).

 

As ChD speaks Tele walks over to the body of MrPink and looks at him.

Tele: Nah, I’d say he’s dead as a doorbell.

Spaghetti comes over with his machine intact.

 

Spaghetti: I’ll use my future machine predictor to see if what Tele is saying all right.

 

Spaghetti pushes it and then types in the words “Is Mr. Pink Dead?” As he types it the machine starts to explode.

 

Spaghetti: Yeah I’d say that what Tele said is pretty much correct. MrPink is gone.

Spaghetti grabs the remains of his machines and walks.

Spaghetti: Don’t worry, I’ll have this machine fixed in a jiffy. I’m efficient like that.

 

Captain Jack Sparrow walks over with Grim22 by his side.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: Thank you all for coming. I’m sorry this had to happen tonight. It ruined such a wonderful occasion. You can all leave right now, the situation is very embarrassing. I can’t believe such a thing happened on my own property.

 

Grim22: Yes, but we all take these things in stride. Death is sad, but its best we move on.

 

Tele: I don’t know about that. I think it’s pretty clear that someone killed Mr. Pink.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: What makes you think that you oldie?

 

Tele points to MrPink’s body showing a gunshot in his chest.

 

Tele: I think that gunshot in the chest pretty much sealed the deal. MrPink was killed by somebody, and it had to be somebody in the room, or someone near the mansion. Besides if MrPink wasn’t killed than what was that screaming we just heard?

 

The scene changes to the bathroom where we see Rukaio Alter opening his mouth and practicing his scream.

 

Rukaio Alter: In Russia if you don’t have a very good scream, you’re not likely to end up with a very good job. It’s the way of life.

 

Just as about everyone in the room prepares to walk out, when the door opens and in comes a slight overweight cop wearing a typical blue cop uniform. The cop approaches the middle of the living room, and with his Swedish accent begins to speak.

 

Jack Nevada: Alright don’t move anyone. I’ve got a gun and I’m not afraid to use lethal force.

 

Everyone in the mansion just looks at Jack Nevada with a blank expression.

CaptainJackSparrow: Sir, could you please get out of my mansion. I didn’t ask for your presence.

 

Jack Nevada: I heard some gun shots from 10 miles and then a scream, so I knew I had to run all the way over here.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: Wait! How did you hear a gun shot from that far of a distance?

 

Jack Nevada: Super hearing. It’s my special ability.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: Perhaps you could hear clear enough to understand that I want you to get the hell out of MY MANSION!

 

Jack Nevada: Nope. A cop’s job is never done. When a murder happens, there’s definitely a murderer to be found. I won’t rest until the criminal is caught. Say you got a fridge?

 

CaptainJackSparrow: Yeah, it’s over there.

 

Jack Nevada: Thanks (runs off).

 

As Jack Nevada runs off to find the fridge, a young and spunky teenage detective appears from out of the crowd. The detective’s name, Claire Holt Drew.

 

Claire Holt Drew: Coming through, coming through.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: Please don’t tell me you’re another cop. I know I invited you, but I think I have enough law enforcements running around my mansion as it is.

 

Claire Holt Drew: Nope, my name is Claire Holt Drew and I’m a young detective, bout 17 years old. I’m here to help solve the murder of MrPink.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: I would appreciate if you snoopers didn’t try to look at every place in my mansion. It’s kind of disturbing to think about.

 

Claire Holt Drew: If you excuse me, I think I’ll take a look around the gardens. I’m sure I’ll be able to find some evidence around those mysterious parts.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: Why my gardens?

 

Claire Holt Drew: I don’t know, if the murderer wasn’t someone from this mansion, it seems like a pretty good place for them to hide the body.

 

CaptainJackSparrow (pointing to Mr.Pink’s dead body): But the body is over here.

 

Claire Holt Drew: Yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say.

 

As CaptainJackSparrow sits on his couch, he watches as nearly everyone who was at the dinner party begins to walk out of the mansion. As he does he hears loud footsteps.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: WHAA?? Is my mansion experience some kind of small earthquake?

 

CaptainJackSparrow looks up from his couch and sees a young brash looking man approach him.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: I don’t think this is gonna end well.

 

Augustus Waters: Excuse me sir, my name is EthanHunt. I was walking down the street when I noticed that there was screaming coming from your mansion. Being the professional detective I am, I knew I had no choice but to look through the…

 

Augustus Waters: Listen kid… I think I like you. You don’t come off as threatening at all when compared to those other so called private eyes, and you seem like your natural. You can investigate my mansion all you like.

 

Augustus Waters: Thanks bud. I think I’ll start by taking a trip up to the next floor.

Augustus Waters runs up the stairs. CaptainJackSparrow watches.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: Fun kid. He’ll learn pretty soon just how dangerous this mansion can really be.

 

As CaptainJackSparrow is walking, Blanks and Empire are in another room. The two are looking around for clues. Empire is looking around, while Blanks is sitting on a chair.

 

Blanks: See anything yet Empire?

 

Empire: (looking through the window). No. I haven’t even started looking yet.

Blanks: Hurry up, I don’t have all day.

 

Empire: Blanks, can you please grow some patients. My legs aren’t meant for rushing.

 

Blanks: Oh Empire, you are a genius and yet you are so much of a klutz it’s not even half amusing.

 

Empire pulls out a paper bag that he found from out of nowhere.

 

Empire: When we find some clues, will put them in here and nobody will suspect that we’re carrying anything of note.

Blanks: Brilliant Empire. I never doubted your intelligence for a second.

 

As Blanks watches Empire, the window next to him has a face appear from out of nowhere. The face resembles that of a ninja with a black rope around him. Blanks continues to watch until he sees the face from the window.

 

Blanks: Waah!!

 

As Blanks screams, the chair he’s on falls off, causing him to hit Empire, and causing the two to fall.

 

Empire: What Blanks? What is it?
 

Blanks: I just saw a strange suspicion man out there.

 

Empire looks out the window. The face from before is gone.

 

Empire: Blanks, remember what the doctor told you about taking your medication? I believe he mentioned something about how taking more than 3 pills a day can cause you to get delirious.

 

Blanks: Empire I’m not kidding. Why would I be seeing things? I swear there was just a man out there, and he was dressed in a black suit and robe.

 

Empire: Blanks. Listen, I know things haven’t been easy for you as of lately, especially with your girlfriend dumping you, but making up tall tales is not the thing to do. 10:59

 

Blanks just looks and then puts his hands out, giving an “I don’t know expression”.

Blanks: Something very suspicious is going on here, and it doesn’t just involve a murder.

 

The scene changes. Tele is upstairs. He is looking around in someone’s room. He is looking through their belongings, when he spots a poster of Inception on the floor.

 

Tele: Christopher Nolan, MEH! Give me Michael Mann any day of the week instead.

 

As Tele looks around, he sees a half torn newspaper clipping on the ground. He picks it up and starts to read it.

 

Tele: Local town’s water supply runs low due to a mysterious shortage (the paper is destroyed after that). Huh. It’s not finished (turns his head). Well whatever it is, I’m sure it wasn’t that important to the case, I mean it doesn’t involve a murder after all.

 

Tele continues to walk around the room, inspecting everything he can. The scene changes back to Jack Nevada who is in the kitchen, opening the fridge and looking through it.

 

Jack Nevada: Nothing to report here, though I certainly have some delicious food for dinner tonight.

 

Jack Nevada grabs some turkey, stake, a few potatoes, as he does the mysterious black hooded man from before appears from out of the window and is standing next to Nevada ready to pounce him, while Nevada is clueless to his appearance. As Nevada is about to close the fridge, he accidentally kicks the black hooded man sending him flying right out of the window. Nevada is oblivious to what is going on.

 

Nevada (having the food on his plate): Time to chow down.

 

Jack Nevada walks to the table. The scene changes, showing the black hooded man in the garbage can outside climbing out of it and then looking around with a very pissed off face.

 

Edited September 30, 2014 by Pokearcher

[Empire]

That first chapter was great, Fancyarcher. 

[Jack Nevada]

Goddammit, I'm both a walking fat joke and Swedish?

Edited August 5, 2014 by Jack Nevada

[Claire of Themyscira]

Me as a detective.

 

[Fancyarcher]

Goddammit, I'm both a walking fat joke and Swedish?

 

Dammit. I got your countries mixed up for some weird reason when I was writing.

 

Ah well, its just a character anyway.

 

Yeah, your not exactly the most fit cop out there. I always imagined if you were a fictional character, you'd be the "I know what I'm doing" type of dude.

Edited August 5, 2014 by Pokearcher

[Fancyarcher]

Since I had to wait so long before I post the first chapter, I'll upload the second chapter today.

 

 

Chapter Two: Getting Into the Garden

As our chapter opens we open Blanks and Empire outside of the mansion. The two of them are looking around.

 

Blanks: See anything suspicious looking yet Empire?

 

Empire: No Blanks, if I do I’ll tell you.

 

As the two are walking around, they hear footsteps. The two turn their heads and see BKB looking completely drunk and out of it limping towards the door of the mansion.

 

BKB: MrPink… you haven’t seen the last of me yet. I’ll get you… you… swine.

 

Empire and Blanks run over to BKB who has collapsed on the floor.

 

Empire: Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.

 

Blanks: I’ll say this Empire, I’m just glad that’s not me on the ground drunk and barely awake.

 

Empire: We all know what happens when you have one of your mood swings. We definitely wouldn’t want to go there again, would we?

 

 As the two detectives look, BKB opens his eyes, looks up and sees the two.

BKB: What are you two looking at?

 

Empire: Alright BKB (pulls him up and holds him), speak now or forever hold your peace. Did you have anything to do with the murder of MrPink?

 

BKB: He’s dead (a sudden shock comes on his face). He’s dead, HE’S DEAD.

 

BKB starts dancing as Empire and Blanks watch in utter confusion.

 

Blanks: I don’t think he killed MrPink. Looks like that’s a name we can scratch off our list.

Empire: The gleeful dancing and sudden shock and surprise was more than enough to convince me of that.

BKB stops dancing. Empire and Blanks confront him.

 

Empire: So if you didn’t kill MrPink then what were you doing out here?

 

BKB: If you must know, I was going to get to him myself. That jerk deserves everything that happened to him. I’m happy that he’s gone.

 

Blanks: You fiend! I’ll get you for that.

 

Blanks tries to grab BKB, but Empire grabs him instead, eventually the two get sent flying across the yard, where they hit a wall that they collide with, and then sends them back to where BKB is.

BKB: Now if you don’t mind, I think I’ll be on my way.

 

As BKB walks off to the street, Blanks tries to get to him, but Empire stops him.

 

Empire: Let him go Blanks, BKB lives in his own crazy world. We shouldn’t bother to enter it.

 

Blanks and Empire continue to look around the outside grounds of the mansion. As they look we cut to Claire Holt Drew who is hiding behind one of the bushes near the garden.

 

Claire Holt Drew: No unusual activity yet (pulls out a notebook). Note to self, gardens are really, really boring places to be during murder mysteries.

 

As Claire Holt Drew jots down her notes she notices some walking. She turns her head and sees feet approaching her. Thinking quickly, Holt who is hiding behind the bushes down on her feet, jumps up and attacks the person right next to her.

 

Claire Holt Drew: I’ve got you now, you murderer. You can’t escape from me.

 

As Holt looks she sees a man wearing plain clothes. The man looks at Holt with a disgusted face and Holt who is on her feet grabbing his, responds with a “oh hello” panicking type of expression on her face.

 

Spidey-Freak: Can I help you Miss? Perhaps I could direct you to the door over there (points his hand)?

 

Claire Holt Drew: I just assumed you were someone that you weren’t.

 

Spidey-Freak: That’s nice to know.

Claire Holt Drew: Say what exactly are you doing here? Something suspicious perhaps? Something you’re trying to hide, huh?

 

Spidey-Freak: I am the gardener. I was going to water the plants, or perhaps you’d like to continue with this outrageous game of yours?

 

Claire Holt Drew: Oh, heh, heh, heh! My bad.

 

Spidey-Freak: Would you mind getting your hands off my leg. I’d really appreciate that.

 

Claire Holt Drew lets go his of legs as Spidey-Freak walks off with the water sprout in his hand, he walks over to one of the plants and starts sprinkling water on it. Drew watches in the distance. 

 

Claire Holt Drew: You know there’s something really uneasy and unsettling about that guy. Like he has a secret to hide or something? I should watch him more closely.

 

As Claire Holt Drew watches from behind. She sees Spidey-Freak the gardener watering the plants. As he does Spidey-Freak starts humming. Claire Holt Drew continues to watch.

Claire Holt Drew: Nothing suspicious so far, but I can’t walk away just yet. Perhaps he knows that I’m still watching him, and he’s just trying to toy with me.

Spidey-Freak stops watering the plants and closes the water sprout. He walks off, as he does Claire Holt runs to where the plants are. She starts examining them, looking over each and every single one of them as closely as she can.

 

Claire Holt Drew: Nothing suspicious about these plants so far (keeps looking). There must be a clue in here somewhere (she digs really deep). Nope, nothing. I swear if I don’t find a clue or some evidence in the next few minutes, I’ll holler.

Claire Holt Drew has a puzzled look on her face.

Claire Holt Drew: There’s got to be some way I can prove that guy’s a murderer. His suspicious and sinister appearance just gives it away so obviously.

 

As Claire Holt Drew looks Spidey-Freak the Gardner comes walking back with a shovel in his hand. Spidey-Freak is still humming as he walks he notices that Claire Holt Drew is standing next to the plants that he has just watered. Claire Holt Drew is oblivious to his appearance.

Spidey-Freak (having a very pissed off look on his face): What are you doing? I thought you’d be gone by now.

Claire Holt suddenly realizes that Spidey-Freak is right next to her and she turns her head.

 

Claire Holt Drew: (having a fake smile on her face) Oh hey, Mr. Gardener. Nice of you to pay me a visit.

 

Furious, Spidey-Freak the gardener swings his shovel at Claire who manages to dodge it.

 

Spidey-Freak: If you ruined a single spot of one of my plants. I’ll have your head.

 

Claire Holt keeps dodging the swings of the Gardener’s shovel.

 

Claire Holt Drew: Hey now, let’s not be so angry here. How bout you become a little more approachable and appropriate, then we can talk things over.

Spidey-Freak: Talk things over, you walked onto this property like you owned it or something.

As the Gardener continues to swing his shovel and Claire Holt dodges every single one, he eventually hits a door that was right next to him, and the shovel flips over and hits him, causing him to fall over and get knocked out. Claire Holt Drew watches.

Claire Holt Drew: It’s times like this that I’m thankful for the little hard plastic knots on those doors.

 

As Claire Holt Drew gets up on her feet. We cut to Jack Nevada who is just finishing up the rest of his meal.

 

Jack Nevada: That was some damn good food. I think I’ll have seconds, after I try some of that delicious looking cake next to me.

 

As he gets up to walk out of the kitchen, he sees a man dressed in black and white suit appear near the end of the hall.

 

Jack Nevada: Hey dude, who are you? Are you supposed to be like some sort of sentient robot cyborg servant or something? Cause I’m not seeing much emotion out of you, you’re just giving me a stare, a stare that’s kinda creeping me out.

 

Butler: I’m not a machine, I am CaptainJackSparrow’s butler. He sent me downstairs in order to make sure that you were enjoying that meal of yours.

 

Jack Nevada: Well tell him it was delicious, but it needed more salt.

Butler: Very well.

 

Jack Nevada walks.

Butler: Excuse me sir, but where are you going?

 

Jack Nevada: What else? I’ve got a murder to solve.

 

Butler: Oh I don’t know. It sure seemed like you were more interested in gorging yourself than you were in actually looking for anything.

 

Jack Nevada: Hey now, never doubt Jack Nevada. I’ve never lost a case and I don’t intend to lose this one.

 

Jack Nevada walks around. He’s near the bathroom, when he sees the door open. Nevada pulls out his gun and puts it behind him just in case. As the door opens Rukaio Alter comes out.

 

Rukaio Alter: Can I help you? Any reason you have a gun behind your back?

 

Jack Nevada: I’m just trying to solve the murder.

 

Rukaio Alter: Murder? What murder?

 

Jack Nevada: You don’t know about the murder of MrPink?

 

Rukaio Alter: Yeah, I must have been in the bathroom when it happened. Sorry to hear that he got killed and sent to the big lunchbox in the sky.

 

Jack Nevada: Wait a minute if you were in the bathroom then that must mean that, that, that you committed the murder.

 

Rukaio Alter: Dude, as a Russian I think we can be reasonable.

 

Jack Nevada: Well I’m Finnish, no Swedish and as a Russian I know you are supposed to be anything but reasonable.

 

Rukaio Alter (has a panic expression on his face): I really had nothing to do with the murder.

Jack Nevada: Don’t lie to me. I can see it in your face. You’re hiding something, and I’m about to find out what it is.

 

Jack Nevada is about to gang up on Rukaio Alter, as he does, Rukaio Alter runs.

 

Jack Nevada: Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be. If that’s the case then, I think I’ll chase after you.

 

Jack Nevada runs after Rukaio. The two chase each other around the house, causing lots of noise, until CaptainJackSparrow walks out.

CaptainJackSparrow: What’s going on here?

 

Jack Nevada is about to stuff Rukaio’s mouth with some broccoli.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: One of those nights Jack. It’s been one of those nights.

 

Jack Nevada: This Russian over here is clearly behind the murder of MrPink.

 

Rukaio Alter: Well this Finnish / Swedish fella over here tried to assault me and feed me broccoli. He’s despicable.

 

Jack Nevada: Maybe if you came clean and told me why you killed MrPink, I wouldn’t have to do that.

 

Rukaio Alter: For the last time sir, I didn’t kill MrPink. In fact the only time I encountered him was when I was briefly ran into him near the food table.

 

Jack Nevada: Is that so? Very well. I believe you, that doesn’t mean I trust you though.

 

CaptainJackSparrow: Could you two please take this outside I’m trying to get some sleep.

 

CaptainJackSparrow walks out of the room. Jack Nevada and Rukaio just look at each other as he does.

Both: What’s his problem?

 

The scene changes this time upstairs with Tele looking around with a sheet of paper in his hand.

 

Tele: It’s a good thing I found this clue or else this mystery might have taken much longer than it already has. You know what, it’s been a while since I’ve actually felt happy about something. At my age, I need to slow down.

As Tele walks around. He notices a room with a theater in it.

Tele: You know I could sure go for a movie right about now. Perhaps there are crispy clear copies of Terminator 2 or The Road Warrior in their original theatrical formats. Yeah, just old some school action would do me good.

As Tele walks into the theater. He sees that a kid is sitting down on one of the seats.

 

Tele: Hey what’s that youngster doing here? Doesn’t he know he’s not supposed to see violent movies without an adult?

Tele walks over and seats himself next to the kid.

Tele: Hey whippersnapper, what are you doing in this theater all alone?

Augustus Walters: I was looking for something that would help me solve the murder, but now, I have no idea.

 

Tele: Yeah that murder, I really don’t what to say. I have no idea why anyone would want to kill MrPink. Sure he was a hipster, but he wasn’t a bad person either.

 

Augustus Walters: I don’t even know the guy personally, I’m just trying to be the best detective I can possibly be, but now I’m not even sure if I’m fit to be a producer on Disney Channel.

 

As the two talk, two men in ninja robes appear from the back about ready to attack. As they approach Tele and Ethan the two continue to talk, yet they are unaware of the danger that is about to befall them.

Edited September 30, 2014 by Pokearcher

[Empire]

Good job on chapter 2.

[Fancyarcher]

Good job on chapter 2.

 

Thanks. I especially liked writing the part with Spidey-Freak. Chapter 3 probably won't be uploaded until the weekend, since I actually have to start writing it.

 

I'm going to try and make the story go in different directions, I'll probably have the investigators go outside of the mansion in later chapters.

[Jandrew]

I thought I was in this?

[Fancyarcher]

I thought I was in this?

 

You are. You don't show up till later though. Lots of suspects to still get through.

Edited August 6, 2014 by Pokearcher

[Spidey Freak]

Thanks. I especially liked writing the part with Spidey-Freak. 

 

Of course you did. Loved that you incorporated shades of Marlon Brando sensuality, Boris Karloff nefariousness and Tex Avery physical comedy into my character all in one appearance!