YourMother’s Sensational Y6 Reviews /w/ a Popeyes Chicken Sandwich inside: Now I’m a head out.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Thank you so much for the Lumberjanes rave. It's something I'm so excited to keep diving into, and the series is so much fun. I highly recommend checking it out if you can find it (it's free with a library card on Hoopla).

 

Friendship to the max. ❤️

[YM!]

Chuck Norris and Liam Nesson vs The Current Hollywood Landscape

 

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

If there’s one thing I regret about not joining CAYOM sooner was trying 2.0. as one of the most biggest franchises was an action satire the adventures of the bromantic Chuck Norris and Liam Nesson, who I understand faced enemies like Santa Claus, Giant Spiders, the Justice League and more. I’ve yet to read it but I have read the first which was dumb fun but one note

 

This sequel had less right of being great or inventive. The action sequences are delightfully kinetic as the writing displays Blankments usual biting meta wit, the characters are all fun and exceedingly entertaining, so much so I think I want to get Jamie Fox his second CAYOM Oscar, as the visuals are great for a $75M movie. The film goes high octane during the third act which is done beautifully and has me excited for more sequels.

 

My only flaw is it could have been a bit more satirical which would’ve made this so much greater, and I did find some characters like Hirsch could’ve gotten more but it was still a great sequel

 

A-

 

 

[YM!]

February

 

 

Dog Models

It’s a cute film about doggos but you can find so many family films better than it with dogs. 

C

 

VR Troopers

Apart from the smart design to have the virtual world poorly animated (mainly due to budget but also 1990s), this is another run of the mill sci-fi action with boring characters and predictable writing.

D+/C-

 

Thomas Was Alone

A cute yet at times confusing family film. Not as strong as Pokémon 3 but better than Dog Models. Has a nice message and the no dialogue is a plus.

B-

 

Little Black Bugs

Apart from the ending which was hit or miss, coming from someone who is unnerved by insects, it’s a well shot avidly unsettling horror film

B

 

[YM!]

Pokémon: The Cinnabar Conspiracy

Spoiler

 

I am big a Pokémon fan as @Ethan Hunt is a Taylor Swift fan. As you know I was head over heels in love with @4815162342‘s Pokémon series, both in the top 10 of their respective years. How did I feel about the finale? Also huge love. The Pokémon are delightfully animated, the story is the most cohesive of the three, the characters are all likable and we finally get a non trash version of Ash and the OTP or Stephanie x Gary happens. Both Blaine and Giovanni had great scenes to chew on as did Stephanie’s mom. Mewtwo was good and solid backstory but might be the weakest link only due to how much times I have heard the lore, I’ve grown tired of the character. The writing is also a strong suit, having some emotional moments, which is something I liked in the series. All and all, great ending of a great series.

 

Dong?

No; why you might ask even though I found it the best? I like it but I think it’s a few points away from being Dong worthy. Still an excellent film

 

A

 

[YM!]

Plus One

Spoiler

 

Despite my abrasive side and self loathing, I am a sucker for love and romantic stories. I used to read fanfics and currently once in a while. How did I feel about Plus One? It was a well done romantic comedy. I had some covets but I’ll get into the story as two introvert friends fake date in order to escape the problems from judgey friends. 

 

What works are the chemistry of Adam Driver and Tessa Thompson as John and Kelsey, the former proving some awkward, more quiet humor while Kelsey’s over dramatic side provides chuckles, the humor is great, and the writing stagnant during the third act but is otherwise good. Lance Garrett got some very funny moments as well.

 

My problems, although it’s the nature of romantic comedies, it becomes rather predictable. Which isn’t a bad thing per se but during the third act breakup, the film becomes somewhat of a drag, as both of the leads, one a bit more so have a bit of unlikeableness, however it pulls together near the end.

 

All in all, get a +1 to the movies this summer to see Plus One.

 

B+

 

[YM!]

Duck Hunt

Spoiler

 

Not going to lie, the third act climax is one of the most fun I’ve read in animated film. I am huge fan of Shining Star Animation, Olive The Other Reindeer is probably one of my favorite CAYOM flicks while Sir Thymes Time is a solid animated feature, as they along Endless Animation, Hourglass Animation and Cookie Pictures Animation are the kings of big screen CAYOM animation. 

 

While Duck Hunt, may be the weakest of the trio still shines as a perfect time with your family during the holidays. The plot is a reluctant duck hunting dog and optimistic and lovable duck become unlikely best friends as they travel to find Mrs. The Duck. The animation is very kinetic which I love as the backdrops are well drawn particularly the forest scenes. The writing for the most part provides a frolicking feel and laughs and the sequel book is very strong. Both Snickers and Duck provide charm that breathes their characters to life. Lil Nas X is the standout of the film as the comically evil Bart. The message of family doesn’t necessarily mean blood is also sweet.

 

My problem is two things. 

 

One some off the other characters are downright unlikeable like Spot or annoying at times like The Wild Gunman. The second is the film can be tonally off at times, namely the beginning where a character is killed and a heartbreaking scene during the second act, that throws me off due to how cartoony this is. 

 

With the right stuff, Duck Hunt can be the a better version of Madagascar trilogy in CAYOM.

 

B/B-

 

 

[YM!]

March (minus Spark)

 

Thermal

Despite strong visual effects as the overall lubriciousness of the catastrophic storm caused by fracking is magnificent, the human elements really flounder or are just bare bones. 

C+

 

AJR:

The take is new enough for a concert movie to make it stand out from the pack but still falls into the same pratfalls the genre has.

C/C+

 

The Con Gone Wrong

Probably the most entertaining documentary of the month and possibly the year, Con is informative and at times funny documentary.

B-

 

Edited September 25, 2019 by YourMother the Edgelord

[YM!]

@Spaghetti it’s time

 

Spark: A Hero’s Promise 

 

SPOILER WARNING, DON’T CLICK THE VIDEO, ONLY READ THE REVIEW

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

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Spoiler

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

 

HUGE SPOILER ALERT ABOVE

 

Likely the biggest box office juggernaut CAYOM will ever have, the series alongside Voltron that started the space opera revolution (Treasure Planet, The Scavenger Wars, Mass Effect and Green Lantern Corps). The first Spark: Rising is an excellent yet simple sci fi film and the closest thing we’d get if Jupiter Ascending was actually good. Homeward although had good reception and was bigger was somewhat divisive (I’m sorry but 2.0 > 1.0), Beyond The Sky is an improvement of Homeward but the majority thought it had pacing problems and paled to Rising.

 

AHP has a lot to live up to, a $300M budget, the ending of one of the defining franchises in CAYOM, and being the sequel that not only entertains but reaches the first in quality. Does it live up to the expectations? Yes, but it doesn’t reach all of them. 

 

The story takes place with Alex, Kozar and the infinites taking on the Soltarian army lead by reluctant and somewhat compassionate Queen Xevarre who have brainwashed (sorry but that’s what it is) and taken over most of the galaxy.

 

The film shines best during the character moments, particularly those of Alex and Xevarre who have a legitimately compelling relationship and the dream sequences are some of the best moments of the franchise. Aera provides her natural humor and Kozar is still strong. Mevino definitely also has so heartwarming moments as his maturing but still childlike charm wins over a lot of people. Xevarre is probably the series strongest and most personal antagonist and it shows here.

 

The action is top notch and the visuals might be the best in CAYOM, by God this film is beautiful. The writing is also excellent in this as it fully immerses the reader but now why is it not the best.

 

Unfortunately the 3 hour runtime and expansive plot definitely makes the film bloated (Judging by Green Lantern Corps though I’m in no position to judge). Some characters like Dhagom or the other Soltarian could’ve been cut, Altren while having her moments makes the battle at the end more bloated than it needs to be (narratively it makes sense and I sort of like) and while the Everest meeting had strong beats, I honestly thought more could’ve been done. There’s a decent chunk of content that could be split into two parts but it’s understandable why it wasn’t.

 

All and all, it may not be the best Spark film but it’s easily the best sequel and definitely worth seeing.

 

A-/B+

 

Edited September 26, 2019 by YourMother the Edgelord

[Ezen Baklattan]

Yep, not too many more surprises given what @4815162342 and @cookie had already said.

 

But I did come to a revelation about the franchise:

 

Spoiler

Acclaimed action franchise with a great deal of influence on the contemporary blockbuster environment and less well received sequels (including those criticized for being perhaps a bit too overstuffed) and even had an animated spin-off that didn't get a theatrical release?

 

 

Particularly overstuffed movie having strong themes of compassion, kindness, social justice, and idealism while spanning an entire universe?

 

 

Candy colored visuals that again drive home the themes of idealism and hope in resisting oppressive structures?

 

 

Strong foray into LGBT themes?

 

 

A cast spanning different genders, classes, races, and so on?

 

 

The Jupiter Ascending comparisons were the tip of the iceberg.

 

Spark is basically a Wachowski franchise.

 

[Rorschach]

6 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

Yep, not too many more surprises given what @4815162342 and @cookie had already said.

 

But I did come to a revelation about the franchise:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Acclaimed action franchise with a great deal of influence on the contemporary blockbuster environment and less well received sequels (including those criticized for being perhaps a bit too overstuffed) and even had an animated spin-off that didn't get a theatrical release?

 

 

Particularly overstuffed movie having strong themes of compassion, kindness, social justice, and idealism while spanning an entire universe?

 

 

Candy colored visuals that again drive home the themes of idealism and hope in resisting oppressive structures?

 

 

Strong foray into LGBT themes?

 

 

A cast spanning different genders, classes, races, and so on?

 

 

The Jupiter Ascending comparisons were the tip of the iceberg.

 

Spark is basically a Wachowski franchise.

 

Spoiler

Perhaps one day you can pitch it to them 🤔

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

One note on Dhagom:

 

Spoiler

By this point I accept that I severely overestimated how much of this could fit into one feature film. (I'm legit going to try to adapt the series onto Wattpad at some point, and this will be largely split up. I may legit ask for some advice/feedback in this project since I know it's going to take a while.

 

But let me explain the rationale behind Dhagom's presence in the movie

 

Pandering to @cookie

 

Besides the obvious.

 

Once I opened up the scale to the universe, I knew I didn't want to leave the opportunity from different galaxies unturned, especially in creating a different dynamic between each galaxy's infinites, including one who would use his powers for evil rather than good. Enter Dhagom. A lot of his stuff was short sighted due to me admittedly getting so lost in the lore and trying to put in a bit too much while also not giving fully enough attention to the pieces that needed more depth.

 

Again, a lot of it was too much for a single movie, but a book won't be an issue.

 

[cookie]

1 hour ago, Spaghetti said:

But let me explain the rationale behind Dhagom's presence in the movie

 

Pandering to @cookie

 

Besides the obvious.

 

Tbh I completely forgot Hunk was even in the movie by the time I wrote my review. Oops.

 

Edit: LMAO this is referring to David Tennant, guess I forgot his character’s name too. You see now why I never remember these things? 😂

Edited September 26, 2019 by cookie

[YM!]

April

 

The Pixies in The Garden

A small and inoffensive but uneventful family film. Should be a good matinee but kids over 10 will zone out.

C

 

Jane and Tony

A rather dull drama, which kind of pisses me off as the movie seems to have a male savior angle.

D+

 

The Thin, The Phat and The Felon

A step up from Y5’s Miserable Fans, as Wright manages to put in just enough charm, wit and humor to make a good comedy with fun leads. My problem though is Martin go a bit unlikeable and annoying near the end.

B/B+

 

The Blushing

Another zombie film that feels much like the zombies themselves: dull

C-

 

Nights Into Dreams

Another family film that’s fine at a glance but is rather predictable and despite the vast array of potential for the dream worlds shown is somewhat unimaginative.

C-

[Ezen Baklattan]

Haha I was a lot less....progressive 7 years ago (when I wrote that).

[YM!]

Children of Eden

 

Spoiler

Yo and behold. A long waited passion project from @Blankments. An epic musical during the times of Genesis, hailing from the 2.0 days, and now that it is done, how does it hold up? Especially with @Spaghetti The Prince Of Egypt in Y3? 

 

Answer: Yes and no.

 

The film shines best with it’s sweeping musical numbers and gorgeous visuals. Nyongo’s Eve is hands down the star of the film, oozing charm and much needed curiosity throughout the film which makes sense since it’s from her POV as the other characters are all well acted despite being not as realized as Eve. The writing does engage the audience.

 

 

The problem: The characters feel one note, apart Eve, then again this is a biblical story, so there’s not much you can do it about it but the others don’t feel as compelling as Eve which can hurt the film. Father was kind of a dick in the film too but again not surprised. The ending for me at first sort of falls apart too but after a brief reread of it, it turns out to be poignant and potentially one of the stronger parts of the film.

 

 

I think it’s a good musical but it could’ve been better. But audiences will be interested into visiting the garden this Easter.

 

 

Spoiler

B/B+

 

 

Edited September 28, 2019 by YourMother the Edgelord

[YM!]

@Xillix edited the score for Eden

[YM!]

Mass Effect: Ascension 

 

 

Spoiler

The much anticipated space opera sequel to Y4’s Mass Effect has arrived as well as likely being one the year’s biggest hits. However is it better than original? Does it reach the standards of the Scavenger/Spark/Voltron trifecta?

 

In short, Yes and no

 

In Ascension, the Normandy crew deals with the return of Banes and the Neo Nazi human group Cerebus, which involves the corruption and creation of biotic human weapons.

 

The positives, the sequel does a much better job in breathing life into its side characters which was my main complaint for the first as other than Shepard and Banes non get really strong characterization. Sanders, Kaidan and Anderson get a lot of character development and the former has a strong arc. The dynamic between Gillian/Zero is heartwarming and ship worthy. Shep gets some nice drama as Banes is embracing his smarmy douche. Core and Garrus are also nice additions despite little screen time for the latter.

 

The action while not as epic as the first, still is very well choreographed and stunning, while the writing is an obvious step up. 

 

My problems being is pacing is a little wonky in the final act, which @cookie pointed out with Garrus and Shepard investigating something obviously we know and Garrus could’ve been cut out. Then again with Mario this year and GLC last year, I can’t really judge. I also think the abused youth trafficking angle could’ve been stronger and be a real game changer. But I digress as these are nitpicks.

 

All and all, this is a very strong sequel upgrade as I’m excited for more adventures with the Normandy.

 

Spoiler

A-

 

 

[YM!]

@Xillix

 

I would like to bump up my Thermal score to C+/B- due to how fun it is.

[YM!]

Facepaint

A bizarre little horror movie, not so much scary as it is weird but hey I dug it for what it was.

C+

 

Double Chronomance 

This is the lesser version of Marked Up Time. Despite inspired casting and the occasional good joke, this comedy provides confusing rules on time travel, as the romances aren’t solid nor are the jokes

C-

Edited October 1, 2019 by YourMother the Edgelord

[YM!]

June

 

Pikmin 

A beautifully animated and mainly dialogue free film that’s pretty darn cute. Not much else but it’s good for what we get.

B-

 

Teyonaah and The Renegades

This anthology film while each are well crafted well told, with good morals, at times some of the concepts don’t fit well together and some may have been better off as movies or shorts. But I liked the musical segment.

B/B-

 

The Jeremy Renner App: The Movie whose subtitle I forgot

This is some nonsensical bullshit but it’s fun at times and has moments of engagement.

C+/B-

 

USS Seawolf

A riveting Numbers action drama. What’s not to like.

B+

 

Forgiveness

I like the concept but for me, I honestly thought it could’ve been more biting and the family dynamic was kind of weak.

C+

 

Rhino Riders

This is a pretty standard run of the millfamily flick, a tad too predictable and lack of character development but DeBlois does manages to do some great things with the rhinos which is the high point. Although if Tim had a stronger bond with his Rhino, I’d love it. It’s fun but disposable.

C/C+