RySenkari Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 *A young woman is fleeing into a dark alley. She's trapped by dozens and dozens of DVD covers.* Woman: So many movies and I don't know what to watch! Someone, HEEEEEEEEEELP! *A man in a superhero cape lands in front of the woman and strikes a superhero pose.* Man: There's no need to fear! MOVIEMAN IS HERE! *punches out the bad movies and shows the woman where the good ones are* Woman: Oh, thank you Movieman! *cuddles up on the couch with him and starts watching a movie* It's Movieman for Year 1! I'm the Movieman and I'm here to review this year's films. As always, the Movieman grades on a five-item scale. No fancy stars or numbers, just a straight up verdict. My scale is as follows: See It Now: What the hell are you still doing sitting down at the computer? Get to the movie theater and watch this movie now! See It Sometime: While I strongly recommend seeing this movie while it's in theaters, you can go ahead and wait a week or two until you have a free day and/or you can wrangle up some friends to go with. Rent It: You should see this movie, but you can definitely wait until it's out on DVD to do so, when you can get it for a buck on Redbox instead of shelling out nine bucks to go to the theater. Rent It If You Must: You can probably skip this film, but if you REALLY want to see it (it's got an actor you like, you like the series/genre, or you've been really wanting to see it for a while), it's worth a watch. Not Worth Your Time: This is a bad movie that you should skip, even if you get a chance to see it for free. It's not worth the time it takes to watch. Trust me, stay away. I'll be reviewing every film this year. Most films I'll just give a score to, although I might have some comments on random films. When I'm finished reviewing everything, I'll do a top 25.
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I got work I'll try to start this in the morning.
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 January: Beast Of Bray Road: Rent It The Nine Tailors: Rent It Illusiono: See It Sometime Phone Fiend: Not Worth Your Time Hills Abduction: Not Worth Your Time You Got Beat By A Girl: Rent It If You Must Spider-Baby: Not Worth Your Time Everglades: Rent It Ready Aim Fire: Rent It If You Must
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 February: Seduction: Rent It Teratoma: Not Worth Your Time Disco Dan: Rent It Valentine's Day Vendetta: Not Worth Your Time Ghost Story: Rent It Cycle of the Werewolf: See It Sometime Corporate Secrets: Rent It Siri: Rent It Just For Cash: See It Sometime
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 March: The End Of The Universe: See It Now Land Of Storms: See It Sometime Barren World: See It Now God's Deal: Rent It If You Must Our Friend The Witch: Rent It If You Must Night Of Error: Rent It If You Must The Adventures: Rent It Lucky In Love: Rent It If You Must
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 The Movieman's Top 10 Of The First Quarter! (January - March)1. The End Of The Universe2. Barren World3. Cycle Of The Werewolf4. Illusiono5. Land Of Storms6. Just For Cash7. Ghost Story8. Siri9. Seduction10. The Nine Tailors
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 April: Band Of The Decade: Not Worth Your Time The Machine Stops: See It Sometime Spring Awakening: See It Sometime The Day I Met Mina: Rent It If You Must Trails Of Tears: See It Now Paranoia: Rent It If You Must Sarah's Surefire Cure For The Blues: Not Worth Your Time Elantris: Rent It Con Air 2: Terror In The Sky: Not Worth Your Time Tarsem Singh's Cinderella: Rent It
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 May: Interconnected: See It Sometime Fab 5: Not Worth Your Time Secret Of Mana: A Journey Begins: See It Now Northwest Nightmare: Rent It If You Must Alien-Nation: See It Sometime Birds of a Feather: Not Worth Your Time Apocalypse: See It Now The Penny Jar: Rent It If You Must
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 June: The Ultimate Race: Rent It If You Must Nation: See It Now Sitting Ducks: Rent It Pride And Prejudice And Zombies: See It Sometime Day Of The Destructor: Not Worth Your Time The Pizza Man: Rent It Jane Loves Karen: Not Worth Your Time Fairylight: See It Sometime The Dark Victorian: See It Sometime
RySenkari Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 The Movieman's Top 10 Of The Second Quarter! (April - June)1. Apocalypse2. Trails Of Tears3. Nation4. Secret Of Mana: A Journey Begins5. Interconnected6. Spring Awakening7. Pride And Prejudice And Zombies8. Alien-Nation9. Fairylight10. The Dark Victorian
Hiccup Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) Great for Apocalypse, Nation, and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!!! Disappointing for Paranoia, Fab 5, and Sitting Ducks Edited December 14, 2011 by Roger the Alien
4815162342 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Hmm...I wonder which is higher: The End of the Universe or Apocalypse...
