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The Panda

BotB: The Wolverine v Bowser, Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo v The Bride, Sauron v Max Rockatansky, Creasy v Thor

By The Panda, in The Speakeasy

Who Wins?  

23 members have voted

  1. 1. Wolverine v Bowser

    • The Wolverine
      17
    • Bowser
      4

  2. 2. Sauron v Max Rockatansky

    • Sauron
      12
    • Max Rockatansky
      9

  3. 3. Creasy v Thor and Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo v The Bride

    • Creasy
      8
    • Thor
      13
    • Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo
      4
    • The Bride
      12

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The Panda Global Phenomenon

The Panda

Posted
Posted

Time for the next wave of fights!

 

Fight #1

Location: Tibetan Plateau

 

The Wolverine

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Weapon of Choice: Claws and Healing

 

Short Bio: "Wolverine is a gruff loner who has a strong sense of personal honor. He also has a wild, animal-like nature to him and a savage, or "berserker," rage which he tries to control. He is also perfectly at home in the wilderness. He is known as one of the most fearless, brave, and dangerous men in the world, stated by Steve Rogers. Wolverine has established himself quickly as the X-Man most willing to permanently deal with their adversaries. He developed close friendships with his teammates Nightcrawler, whose personality diametrically opposed Wolverine's, and Colossus, who often performed the "fastball special" with him."

 

Vs.

 

Bowser

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Weapon of Choice: Fire breathing and Minions

 

Short Bio: "Bowser, sometimes known as King Koopa (Japanese: 大魔王クッパ, Daimaō Kuppa or "Great Demon King Koopa"), is the main antagonist of the Mario series and the King of the Koopa. He has repeatedly kidnapped or attempted to kidnap Princess Peach and take over the Mushroom Kingdom. He has on other occasions attempted to conquer the entire Mushroom World, as well as the entire universe. Despite his villainous nature, he has occasionally helped the heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom against common threats and participates with them in their numerous sporting events in spin-off games."

 

 

 

Fight #2

Location: Planet Vegeta

 

Sauron

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Weapon of Choice: The One Ring and Ring Wraiths

 

Short Bio: "Sauron (or Þauron; Quenya; IPA: [ˈsaʊron] or Vanyarin [ˈθaʊron]), the eponymous Lord of the Rings, was a fallen Maia, the creator of the One Ring, and the most trusted lieutenant of his master Morgoth(Melkor, the first Dark Lord). After Morgoth's defeat in the First Age, Sauron became the second Dark Lord and strove to conquer Arda, creating the rings of power for this purpose. In the Second Age, he was defeated in the War of the Last Alliance by the lat line of defence: elves and men. Isiluder cut off his finger with the ring on it.  He returned to power in the Third Age, but was finally defeated in the War of the Ring through the destruction of the One Ring."

 

Vs.

 

Max Rockatansky AKA Mad Max

Posted Image

 

Weapon of Choice: Sawn-Off Shotgun

 

Short Bio: "Without any doubt, Max's natural skill is driving. He was once considered the "top pursuit man" in the MFP. These abilities later lend themselves to driving offroad, evading gangs and wreckages easily and outdriving or ramming them off the road. Max even drives a large truck despite being severely injured. He is a very capable hand to hand combatant in good physical condition."

 

 

 

Fight #3

Location: Trenzalore

 

John W Creasy

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Weapon of Choice: Handgun

 

Short Bio: "After years of dirty work as a Marine and later an assassin for the CIA, John Creasy is pretty much dead on the inside and is a hard drinking alcoholic to numb the painful memories of all the people he killed in his lifetime. However, when he accepts a job from his old friend Paul Rayburn, he gets a chance at redemption. He is also covered in scars from unknown causes. There is a deep gash in his left eyebrow and numerous welts on his knuckles. It is never explicitly revealed why he has these scars, which is part of what adds to his tragic backstory."

 

Vs

 

Thor

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Weapon of Choice: Mjolnir

 

Short Bio: "Thor is one of several powerful ancient beings who dwell in a magical realm called Asgard. Through history, these beings have been revered and worshiped as gods. Ages ago, Odin, lord of the Asgardian gods, desired a child who would one day exceed him in power. Odin wooed Gaea, the earth goddess, and from their union Thor was born in a small cave in Norway on Earth. Odin took him to be raised in Asgard by his wife, Frigga.

 

The young Thor grew up alongside his adopted brother Loki, the trickster, who was always jealous of his more favored sibling. Thor grew in power and popularity and on his eighth birthday, Odin had the hammer Mjolnir created for him, enchanting it with powerful magic. Odin decreed that Mjolnir would be presented to Thor when his son had been proven a worthy warrior. After spending the next eight years training and performing heroic deeds, Thor was given the hammer and declared the greatest warrior in Asgard."
 

 
 
Fight #4

Location: Sub-Saharan Plains
 
Mr. Hankey, "The Christmas Poo"
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Weapon of Choice: His Smell and His Spirit which Lingers On
 
Short Bio: "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo is the Christmas deity of South Park, taking the place of others, such as Frosty or Rudolph, and a jolly Poo that visits anyone on Christmas that has a lot of high fiber in their diets. He resides in the sewers beneath South Park, and therefore has been known to appear as if by magic from out of toilet cisterns, bringing with him tidings of joy, and a ghastly smell."
 
Vs.
 
The Bride AKA Beatrix Kiddo
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Weapon of Choice: Katana
 
Short Bio: "Beatrix Michelle Kiddo, also known as The Bride and also the daughter of her married parents Marc and Michelle Kiddo, is the main protagonist in the Kill Bill movie series. Once a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, known by her code-name Black Mamba, Beatrix was romantically involved with Bill. After her early retirement from her assassination career, Beatrix's friends and her fiance were murdered at the marriage rehearsal. Beatrix herself was put into a four-year coma, during which her and Bill's baby was delivered successfully."
 

 
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4815162342 Global Phenomenon

4815162342

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Posted

How the fuck is Sauron losing? And how on earth is Thor being tied? 

 

Because while Sauron is powerful, he has almost no character. He's basically anonymous destruction. Mad Max on the other hand is the fucking legend.

 

As for Thor, again, we're using MCU Thor, not Norse mythology Thor. MCU Thor is powerful with some charisma, but Creasy is basically the template for the 21st-century badass.

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The Panda Global Phenomenon

The Panda

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Because while Sauron is powerful, he has almost no character. He's basically anonymous destruction. Mad Max on the other hand is the fucking legend.As for Thor, again, we're using MCU Thor, not Norse mythology Thor. MCU Thor is powerful with some charisma, but Creasy is basically the template for the 21st-century badass.

Sauron is a badass and would kill Mad Max in seconds.Mr Hankey is being underestimated, he would destroy The Bride.
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Jawa Box Office Gold

Jawa

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I nominated Mr. Hankey to liven things up a bit from the monotony of superheroes/action stars. I'm rooting for him to win this round. You wait until Dolan winds up in one of these, I'm going to be in full swing for Dolan support.

 

Dolan 2014

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