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Ezen Baklattan

Spaghetti and The Panda Present: THE FIFTH ANNUAL BOFFY AWARDS! La La Land, Arrival, and Zootopia Lead the Pack!

By Ezen Baklattan, in And The Winner Is...

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Ezen Baklattan Global Phenomenon

Ezen Baklattan

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*Several people are on a highway, checking the box office theory forums. Suddenly, we hear a user begin to sing and jump out of his car. It's WrathOfHan.*

 

WrathOfHan: I hear it everyday, the rhythm of the keyboard, going tap and tap away! Those numbers are gigantic, and that camera magic, wow! The forums are where it's at now! Doesn't matter why or how.

CoolioD1: Sunday afternoon, I know their tastes a shit, but hey let's shoot one at the moon! There may be a few hits, like Izzy P rockin' in Elle, If she can't win go burn in hell!, Wouldn't that be just swell?

WrathOfHan, Coolio, K1stpierre, and DamienRoc: Without any likes to my name, made an account and joined the game. Maybe I'll one day just the same, my picks will win! It's all for my love of flicks, these forums give me all the kicks, this'll be the day our love goes off and over!

Various Posters: On this site, I'm chasing every film, I'm ready to explode my mind! They won't let you down! You've all got friends around! The awards are now in town, and it's another Boffy run!

 

*Everyone starts dancing*

 

Panda: Ugh, I can't believe this.

Spaghetti: You could say that, we're gonna be late for the ceremony!

Panda: Oh, I was gonna say Jimmy Fallon stole our idea for this bit.

Spaghetti: That too, don't worry, I know two people who can help us. *picks up phone* Hey, Abbott, Costello, you there?

 

*They suddenly teleport into a dark room, much like the one in Arrival. Panda holds up a sign reading "RIDE TO BOFFYS?"*

*A jet of ink comes out, forming the shape of :winomg:*

*Spaghetti holds up another sign, reading "SAD FUTURE STORY". A jet of ink engulfs the two, teleporting them to a new location.*

 

*Spaghetti and Panda wake up in a dark space*

 

Panda: Ugh....where are we?

Spaghetti: I have no idea, but it's super tight and we need to get out of here before *Suddenly the space turns to the side. We see that Ricky from Hunt for the Wilderpeople is kicking over the mailbox that they are inside.*

Panda: Ouch! Get us somewhere else! *The ink engulfs the two, and they are transported again, this time to a burning house*

 

Panda: Oh, come on!

Spaghetti: Oh, no! Look at these kids! We have to save them? Come to the BOFFIEs with us!

Kids: Yay!

 

*Panda and Spaghetti save the kids from the burning house as they jump to the next world, a bloody WWII battlefield*

 

Spaghetti: Are you fucking kidding me, Costello? I know Abbot's the sane one here!

Panda: Not even Andrew Garfield could save us! How could he even!

 

*Panda and Spaghetti and the kids are teleported again to 17th century Japan.*

 

Panda: Ugh, Jesus Christ. *Ba dum ching*

 

*Spaghetti and Panda look inside their reflections at a nearby pond and see Christopher Nolan Denis Villeneuve repsectively. The kids are clearly bored. Panda and Spaghetti accidentally fall into the water. They come out, but Spaghetti is a beaver, Panda is, well, a panda, and the kids are all rabbits.*

 

Panda: Don't tell me.

Spaghetti: Yep, we arrived in Zootopia.

 

*A fox goes up to them and tries to sell a popsicle. They politely refuse. The kids want to run around the city and get lost.*

 

Spaghetti: It's disney, they're fine. Better hands than Casey Affleck, surely.

 

*They teleport again, arriving in 1980s Miami, where a man in a Jason Voorhes mask has gone on a mass killing*

 

Jason Voorhes: FUCK THE STUPID BLUE MOONLIGHT

 

*They finally teleport backstage, landing where they should be.*

 

Spaghetti: Thanks, guys! I knew you had it in you!

Panda: Wait a sec, can I stop at a bank first!

 

*Quick cut to it being robbed*

 

Panda: Yeah....nevermind. Bad idea.

Spaghetti: Welp, we're here now! Let's begin!

 

WELCOME TO BOFFY V. THE FIFTH ANNUAL BOFFY AWARDS!!!

 

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filmlover Cinematic Universe

filmlover

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1 minute ago, Spaghetti by the Sea said:

*Several people are on a highway, checking the box office theory forums. Suddenly, we hear a user begin to sing and jump out of his car. It's WrathOfHan.*

 

WrathOfHan: I hear it everyday, the rhythm of the keyboard, going tap and tap away! Those numbers are gigantic, and that camera magic, wow! The forums are where it's at now! Doesn't matter why or how.

CoolioD1: Sunday afternoon, I know their tastes a shit, but hey let's shoot one at the moon! There may be a few hits, like Izzy P rockin' in Elle, If she can't win go burn in hell!, Wouldn't that be just swell?

WrathOfHan, Coolio, K1stpierre, and DamienRoc: Without any likes to my name, made an account and joined the game. Maybe I'll one day just the same, my picks will win! It's all for my love of flicks, these forums give me all the kicks, this'll be the day our love goes off and over!

Various Posters: On this site, I'm chasing every film, I'm ready to explode my mind! They won't let you down! You've all got friends around! The awards are now in town, and it's another Boffy run!

 

*Everyone starts dancing*

 

Panda: Ugh, I can't believe this.

Spaghetti: You could say that, we're gonna be late for the ceremony!

Panda: Oh, I was gonna say Jimmy Fallon stole our idea for this bit.

Spaghetti: That too, don't worry, I know two people who can help us. *picks up phone* Hey, Abbott, Costello, you there?

 

*They suddenly teleport into a dark room, much like the one in Arrival. Panda holds up a sign reading "RIDE TO BOFFYS?"*

*A jet of ink comes out, forming the shape of :winomg:*

*Spaghetti holds up another sign, reading "SAD FUTURE STORY". A jet of ink engulfs the two, teleporting them to a new location.*

 

*Spaghetti and Panda wake up in a dark space*

 

Panda: Ugh....where are we?

Spaghetti: I have no idea, but it's super tight and we need to get out of here before *Suddenly the space turns to the side. We see that Ricky from Hunt for the Wilderpeople is kicking over the mailbox that they are inside.*

Panda: Ouch! Get us somewhere else! *The ink engulfs the two, and they are transported again, this time to a burning house*

 

Panda: Oh, come on!

Spaghetti: Oh, no! Look at these kids! We have to save them? Come to the BOFFIEs with us!

Kids: Yay!

 

*Panda and Spaghetti save the kids from the burning house as they jump to the next world, a bloody WWII battlefield*

 

Spaghetti: Are you fucking kidding me, Costello? I know Abbot's the sane one here!

Panda: Not even Andrew Garfield could save us! How could he even!

 

*Panda and Spaghetti and the kids are teleported again to 17th century Japan.*

 

Panda: Ugh, Jesus Christ. *Ba dum ching*

 

*Spaghetti and Panda look inside their reflections at a nearby pond and see Christopher Nolan Denis Villeneuve repsectively. The kids are clearly bored. Panda and Spaghetti accidentally fall into the water. They come out, but Spaghetti is a beaver, Panda is, well, a panda, and the kids are all rabbits.*

 

Panda: Don't tell me.

Spaghetti: Yep, we arrived in Zootopia.

 

*A fox goes up to them and tries to sell a popsicle. They politely refuse. The kids want to run around the city and get lost.*

 

Spaghetti: It's disney, they're fine. Better hands than Casey Affleck, surely.

 

*They teleport again, arriving in 1980s Miami, where a man in a Jason Voorhes mask has gone on a mass killing*

 

Jason Voorhes: FUCK THE STUPID BLUE MOONLIGHT

 

*They finally teleport backstage, landing where they should be.*

 

Spaghetti: Thanks, guys! I knew you had it in you!

Panda: Wait a sec, can I stop at a bank first!

 

*Quick cut to it being robbed*

 

Panda: Yeah....nevermind. Bad idea.

Spaghetti: Welp, we're here now! Let's begin!

 

WELCOME TO BOFFY V. THE FIFTH ANNUAL BOFFY AWARDS!!!

 

:rofl:

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Ezen Baklattan Global Phenomenon

Ezen Baklattan

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First up, let us begin with the nominees for Best Thread.

 

BOT'S Top 100 Movies (Rants Not Included)

 

The Classic Conversation Thread (A treasure trove of WTF-ery)

 

The CJohn Saga (or the Unexpected Virtue of the Bare Necessities)

 

Rogue One Weekend Numbers (or the Curious Case of CGI Tarkin)

 

And the BOFFY goes to.....

 

Spoiler

THE CLASSIC CONVERSATION THREAD

 

Anything goes in this glorious conversation thread, from bizarre memories to existential dread to unrelated humor and just about everything!

 

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Ezen Baklattan Global Phenomenon

Ezen Baklattan

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Is That One Guy going to be the resident complainer of this year? Lord help us.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

FUNNIEST POSTER

 

The nominees are....

 

Chewy

CoolioD1

MrPink

Telemachos

 

Will CoolioD1 continue his two-year winning streak?

 

Spoiler

Nope!

 

The winner is MrPink!

 

Christ Nolan would be so proud of you.

 

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MrPink Global Phenomenon

MrPink

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Just now, Spaghetti by the Sea said:

Is That One Guy going to be the resident complainer of this year? Lord help us.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

FUNNIEST POSTER

 

The nominees are....

 

Chewy

CoolioD1

MrPink

Telemachos

 

Will CoolioD1 continue his two-year winning streak?

 

  Hide contents

Nope!

 

The winner is MrPink!

 

Christ Nolan would be so proud of you.

 

 

AK0D3j1.gif

 

This is a fraud win.

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MrPink Global Phenomenon

MrPink

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2 minutes ago, That One Guy said:

 

Well I was gonna, but Pink just won so no complaints here.

 

ThatOneGuy is my lone supporter? :depp:

2 minutes ago, robertman2 said:

RIGGED

 

Robertman2 doesn't like me? :kitschjob:

 

2 minutes ago, Ethan Hunt said:

Lame

 

I'll accept Ethan's hate.:redcapes:

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