Xillix Posted April 7, 2019 Author Share Posted April 7, 2019 (edited) I know I'm usually pretty quick with my reviews, certainly not the slowest out there, and I know I've been really chugging. Since my status tonight is throwing tomorrow's reviews into question too I feel like I owe you an explanation: Without getting into TMI - hopefully - I have a couple of disabling mental illnesses. One of my medicines is expensive enough I can only get it from a mail-in pharmacy, and they're late on the shipment. Really late. As a result I'm running short and having to skip doses, meaning I have less "functional" time than usual. Not looking for a pity party but that's how it is at the moment, unfortunately. If I hold things up too much I'm willing to forfeit my Critical Consensus input and Oscar ballot for the game year. We'll see how soon I can get to the rest of it, though. Hope this doesn't freak anyone out/rub anyone the wrong way. Just figured I should be a little more transparent instead of vague put-offs. Edited April 7, 2019 by Xillix 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLAM! Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Xillix said: I know I'm usually pretty quick with my reviews, certainly not the slowest out there, and I know I've been really chugging. Since my status tonight is throwing tomorrow's reviews into question too I feel like I owe you an explanation: Without getting into TMI - hopefully - I have a couple of disabling mental illnesses. One of my medicines is expensive enough I can only get it from a mail-in pharmacy, and they're late on the shipment. Really late. As a result I'm running short and having to skip doses, meaning I have less "functional" time than usual. Not looking for a pity party but that's how it is at the moment, unfortunately. If I hold things up too much I'm willing to forfeit my Critical Consensus input and Oscar ballot for the game year. We'll see how soon I can get to the rest of it, though. Hope this doesn't freak anyone out/rub anyone the wrong way. Just figured I should be a little more transparent instead of vague put-offs. That's not good! My thoughts and prayers will be with you! I hope the medicine comes soon! This is understandable; always put your well-being first! Thank you for telling me this! Edited April 7, 2019 by Slambros 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 5 minutes ago, Xillix said: I know I'm usually pretty quick with my reviews, certainly not the slowest out there, and I know I've been really chugging. Since my status tonight is throwing tomorrow's reviews into question too I feel like I owe you an explanation: Without getting into TMI - hopefully - I have a couple of disabling mental illnesses. One of my medicines is expensive enough I can only get it from a mail-in pharmacy, and they're late on the shipment. Really late. As a result I'm running short and having to skip doses, meaning I have less "functional" time than usual. Not looking for a pity party but that's how it is at the moment, unfortunately. If I hold things up too much I'm willing to forfeit my Critical Consensus input and Oscar ballot for the game year. We'll see how soon I can get to the rest of it, though. Hope this doesn't freak anyone out/rub anyone the wrong way. Just figured I should be a little more transparent instead of vague put-offs. I completely understand, as your wellbeing should always come first. Hang in there and take all of the time you need and I hope you medicine comes soon. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 5 minutes ago, Xillix said: I know I'm usually pretty quick with my reviews, certainly not the slowest out there, and I know I've been really chugging. Since my status tonight is throwing tomorrow's reviews into question too I feel like I owe you an explanation: Without getting into TMI - hopefully - I have a couple of disabling mental illnesses. One of my medicines is expensive enough I can only get it from a mail-in pharmacy, and they're late on the shipment. Really late. As a result I'm running short and having to skip doses, meaning I have less "functional" time than usual. Not looking for a pity party but that's how it is at the moment, unfortunately. If I hold things up too much I'm willing to forfeit my Critical Consensus input and Oscar ballot for the game year. We'll see how soon I can get to the rest of it, though. Hope this doesn't freak anyone out/rub anyone the wrong way. Just figured I should be a little more transparent instead of vague put-offs. No, I can tell that this wasn't easy for you to share, and I do not want this game to put any more pressure on you than it already is. Hope you are able to get the batch soon - I trust you've contacted the pharmacist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xillix Posted April 7, 2019 Author Share Posted April 7, 2019 It’s not even a real personal pharmacist it’s a big faceless company. But yeah I’ve been it touch and it’s supposed to be shipping as soon as Monday. I still have meds, just not enough to keep up with full doses thru the gap. And just to reassure people, I’m not in any mortal danger or anything. It’s just hard to keep up usual activities when the symptoms flare up. I’ll be okay. Just a matter of how okay how soon. Thanks everyone for the understanding and support. I’m going to log off for the night now. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 1 minute ago, Xillix said: It’s not even a real personal pharmacist it’s a big faceless company. But yeah I’ve been it touch and it’s supposed to be shipping as soon as Monday. I still have meds, just not enough to keep up with full doses thru the gap. And just to reassure people, I’m not in any mortal danger or anything. It’s just hard to keep up usual activities when the symptoms flare up. I’ll be okay. Just a matter of how okay how soon. Thanks everyone for the understanding and support. I’m going to log off for the night now. Have a good night of rest - let us know if you need to talk again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blankments Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 Sorry to hear that, Xillix, I wish you the best 😕 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 2 minutes ago, Xillix said: It’s not even a real personal pharmacist it’s a big faceless company. But yeah I’ve been it touch and it’s supposed to be shipping as soon as Monday. I still have meds, just not enough to keep up with full doses thru the gap. And just to reassure people, I’m not in any mortal danger or anything. It’s just hard to keep up usual activities when the symptoms flare up. I’ll be okay. Just a matter of how okay how soon. Thanks everyone for the understanding and support. I’m going to log off for the night now. Have a good night’s rest and again nothing but love from all of us my dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reddroast Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 35 minutes ago, Xillix said: I know I'm usually pretty quick with my reviews, certainly not the slowest out there, and I know I've been really chugging. Since my status tonight is throwing tomorrow's reviews into question too I feel like I owe you an explanation: Without getting into TMI - hopefully - I have a couple of disabling mental illnesses. One of my medicines is expensive enough I can only get it from a mail-in pharmacy, and they're late on the shipment. Really late. As a result I'm running short and having to skip doses, meaning I have less "functional" time than usual. Not looking for a pity party but that's how it is at the moment, unfortunately. If I hold things up too much I'm willing to forfeit my Critical Consensus input and Oscar ballot for the game year. We'll see how soon I can get to the rest of it, though. Hope this doesn't freak anyone out/rub anyone the wrong way. Just figured I should be a little more transparent instead of vague put-offs. I understand your situation completely @Xillix. I have been in the same boat if you need anymore to talk to I'm here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4815162342 Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 You have no need to apologize @Xillix. Take the time you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xillix Posted April 7, 2019 Author Share Posted April 7, 2019 (edited) Just a morning update for anyone who cares to read it because tbh I feel like venting. Placing it in a spoiler box because I don't want people seeing it if they don't wanna or it's gonna cause them stress. Only read it if you really want to know what's going on because it's not a happy go lucky story and I don't want to impose it on anyone. Long story short; don't know when exactly the shipment will come in, though it's looking like pretty soon, and even then don't know how long it'll take to get back to my kind of normal because I'm evidently in withdrawal now. Woo. Spoiler So basically automatic ordering somehow got turned off apparently last time I had to change a payment method. As a result, I was waiting around for the shipment notice like an idiot, starting to skip doses and step down on them to conserve them and avoid going cold-turkey if worse came to worst for whatever reason. I finally managed to get the order through into their system, but now they need approval from my psychiatrist before they can ship it because, and this is completely on me, I apparently didn't have a refill left in the first place and had misjudged how many pills I had left when I last met with her. Thankfully they do have (extra charge) one-day shipping so once that process is done I should get it pretty quickly. Unfortunately the reason I finally went ahead and explained all this last night was because, obviously, the symptoms were getting worse. Last night was actually a little bit scary because I'd never had some of these symptoms, some of which are physical in nature. This morning on a hunch I looked it up and matched the symptoms, so as a result I can now say that I'm officially suffering withdrawal. Thankfully it's still nothing dangerous, but it's REALLY fucking unpleasant - in addition to the symptoms it was meant to treat in the first place, we're talking jitters/shivers, nausea and digestive... stuff... major insomnia, flu-like ache. All that shit. Apparently my particular med is known for long, shitty withdrawals from 1-3 weeks, though that's for people actually trying to quit it, so hopefully it doesn't apply to me since I've still been taking some and am trying not to break the chain. So I don't know exactly when I'll be getting my shipment in, still, and frankly it's my fault for not being more on top of it since in the past I'd relied on the autobilling system. And just in case you're one of our overseas players who doesn't understand all this craziness - my prescription was briefly available from an actual pharmacy at a reasonable cost, but only for the first few fillings, because the rate is "subsidized." After that the copay - the price I as the "customer" am required to pay out of pocket - jacked up to an obscene price, one I can't remember off the top of my head because it was so completely unreasonable it was never an option. One of the ways the insurance "industry" works here in America is that medical companies set the price of equipment and drugs at ludicrously inflated values, then work out deals amongst health insurance companies where the price is heavily reduced for them. Then in turn the idea is that you pay an even lower price, assuming you actually can afford to enroll in decent health insurance in the first place. The "real" cost of a 90-day supply of my medication, so I'm told by this online pharmacy company, is $1,200. But lucky me, on my current health insurance I only need to pay $20 - provided I order from the mail-in pharmacy, which is literally owned by another insurance company and thus gets even more subsidies on the price. Plus shipping, and if I want 1-day shipping it's actually more expensive than the copay for the medicine. Did I mention I am no longer eligible for my current health insurance beginning this July, which also means I need to find a new doctor and likely a new therapist because they're not on my new, more limited state plan for people with disabilities? And that I have no idea how this will affect the price of my medication, or if I can even get it anymore? Yeah sorry this turned into a rant against the American healthcare system but fucking seriously. Edited April 7, 2019 by Xillix 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 8 hours ago, Xillix said: I know I'm usually pretty quick with my reviews, certainly not the slowest out there, and I know I've been really chugging. Since my status tonight is throwing tomorrow's reviews into question too I feel like I owe you an explanation: Without getting into TMI - hopefully - I have a couple of disabling mental illnesses. One of my medicines is expensive enough I can only get it from a mail-in pharmacy, and they're late on the shipment. Really late. As a result I'm running short and having to skip doses, meaning I have less "functional" time than usual. Not looking for a pity party but that's how it is at the moment, unfortunately. If I hold things up too much I'm willing to forfeit my Critical Consensus input and Oscar ballot for the game year. We'll see how soon I can get to the rest of it, though. Hope this doesn't freak anyone out/rub anyone the wrong way. Just figured I should be a little more transparent instead of vague put-offs. Honestly, if you think finishing the game year becomes too much for you... don't. Nobody here will or should pressure you into anything, especially if that comes at the expensive of your own health (my own burnout last year forced me to dial a lot of things back and take it a lot slower). Doing it if you don't have the tools you need just makes it worse for everyone. Take whatever time you need. Nobody here is going to blame you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4815162342 Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 @Xillix that is awful. The most important thing to do is to take care of yourself, and if that means dialing it back, dial it back. Don't feel pressured to do anything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xillix Posted April 9, 2019 Author Share Posted April 9, 2019 Meds were delivered today. Now we see how long it takes to rebalance my brain chemistry. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Don’t rush into this if you’re not feeling up to go again. Take as much time as you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 15 minutes ago, Xillix said: Meds were delivered today. Now we see how long it takes to rebalance my brain chemistry. I’m so happy you got the medication and hope you feel better soon. Take all the need you need to, and focus on feeling better first and foremost. And again ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xillix Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 So I've been back on the normal dose for two days now and I'm starting to feel better. Mostly just tired from all the lost sleep. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xillix Posted April 14, 2019 Author Share Posted April 14, 2019 Yeah, so in case it's not clear, I'm not going to be finishing reviews this year. I feel like my priority should be actually having shit written for Y6. So I won't be doing a Top 25 or voting in the Y5 Oscars. I'm sure I'll read some of this eventually though. Anything that gets a sequel I'll review when that time comes. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...