Critical Reviews 5: The Revenge of Xillix

[Xillix]

Of Their Own Accord may not really be significantly more overstuffed than Green Lantern - if I went in and counted plot points and characters anyway - but it FELT a lot worse to me, subjectively, in that regard. Probably down to personal preference where it's a lot harder for this kind of story to entertain me in the first place, so when it's off it's REALLY unenjoyable for me. If GLC "frequently feels like a slog" for me this whole think felt like that, without the fun and imagination to uplift it. Purely subjective but that's how reviews work.

[Blankments]

Will I get a single movie liked by Xillix this year? Stay tuned!

[4815162342]

lol I knew it

[4815162342]

3 hours ago, Xillix said:

Of Their Own Accord may not really be significantly more overstuffed than Green Lantern 

 

Ok this is silly imo. GLC was substantially more stuffed than CoD 2.

[Ethan Hunt]

3 hours ago, Xillix said:

Of Their Own Accord may not really be significantly more overstuffed than Green Lantern - if I went in and counted plot points and characters anyway - but it FELT a lot worse to me, subjectively, in that regard. Probably down to personal preference where it's a lot harder for this kind of story to entertain me in the first place, so when it's off it's REALLY unenjoyable for me. If GLC "frequently feels like a slog" for me this whole think felt like that, without the fun and imagination to uplift it. Purely subjective but that's how reviews work.

They neither one have a thing in One Punch Man

[Ezen Baklattan]

Tfw you’re nearly halfway through the year and your two big films are tied for first with one other film despite only getting a 3.5/5.

[Xillix]

1 hour ago, 4815162342 said:

 

Ok this is silly imo. GLC was substantially more stuffed than CoD 2.

I mean the point I'm making there is that regardless of which actually has more content this one was harder for me to get through. I just didn't like it, at all. Matter of taste. I felt like it was better to make a constructive criticism of some sort other than just saying "nah this sucks." A person's opinion on a film isn't a math equation.

 

Like I've gotten a review that just said "this was a struggle to get through, and it's hard to find anyone enjoying any level of this." The latter part was a bit of an odd statement given that movie wasn't universally panned or anything, but I can respect that sometimes someone just will really, really not like a movie. I'm just in that situation with the CoD flicks and trying to keep from writing a total non-review. I think it should be obvious from the scores I give some of your other stuff that I don't have anything against you or anyone here personally, and I'm not trolling. Sometimes you just really don't enjoy something, at all. 😕
 

Edited April 2, 2019 by Xillix

[4815162342]

27 minutes ago, Xillix said:

I mean the point I'm making there is that regardless of which actually has more content this one was harder for me to get through. I just didn't like it, at all. Matter of taste. I felt like it was better to make a constructive criticism of some sort other than just saying "nah this sucks." A person's opinion on a film isn't a math equation.

 

Like I've gotten a review that just said "this was a struggle to get through, and it's hard to find anyone enjoying any level of this." The latter part was a bit of an odd statement given that movie wasn't universally panned or anything, but I can respect that sometimes someone just will really, really not like a movie. I'm just in that situation with the CoD flicks and trying to keep from writing a total non-review. I think it should be obvious from the scores I give some of your other stuff that I don't have anything against you or anyone here personally, and I'm not trolling. Sometimes you just really don't enjoy something, at all. 😕
 

 

Xillix I don't mind that you didn't like it, in fact I expected it (my guess was 1.5 stars). It's relentless action and thin characters, totally understand it not working for a bunch of people.

 

It's just calling it more stuffed than GLC that confused me, because GLC has A LOT going on there.

 

And when you get to OPM......

[YM!]

2 hours ago, 4815162342 said:

 

Ok this is silly imo. GLC was substantially more stuffed than CoD 2.

I agree. I don’t get that point.

[Blankments]

1 hour ago, Xillix said:

I mean the point I'm making there is that regardless of which actually has more content this one was harder for me to get through. I just didn't like it, at all. Matter of taste. I felt like it was better to make a constructive criticism of some sort other than just saying "nah this sucks." A person's opinion on a film isn't a math equation.

 

Like I've gotten a review that just said "this was a struggle to get through, and it's hard to find anyone enjoying any level of this." The latter part was a bit of an odd statement given that movie wasn't universally panned or anything, but I can respect that sometimes someone just will really, really not like a movie. I'm just in that situation with the CoD flicks and trying to keep from writing a total non-review. I think it should be obvious from the scores I give some of your other stuff that I don't have anything against you or anyone here personally, and I'm not trolling. Sometimes you just really don't enjoy something, at all. 😕
 

I’m sorry but you’re right, Extreme Dino’s doesn’t work for me at all as a franchise 😕

[Xillix]

16 minutes ago, Blankments said:

I’m sorry but you’re right, Extreme Dino’s doesn’t work for me at all as a franchise 😕

Nothing wrong with that lol

[Xillix]

1 hour ago, 4815162342 said:

It's just calling it more stuffed than GLC that confused me, because GLC has A LOT going on there.

That's literally the opposite of what I said though XD

 

Just that it was harder for me to get through

[Rorschach]

I guess it’s time for me to curl up in a ball and hug the corner of a wall now. I already know it’s coming. I just want it to get over with as soon as possible.

 

Edited April 2, 2019 by Rorschach

[YM!]

I’ve already expected the fact Splatoon may not go over well. It’s pretty much more or less a GameVerse movie.

[YM!]

24 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

I guess it’s time for me to curl up in a ball and hug the corner of a wall now. I already know it’s coming. I just want it to get over with as soon as possible.

 

I’m right here with you and for you.

[Xillix]

14 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

I’ve already expected the fact Splatoon may not go over well. It’s pretty much more or less a GameVerse movie.

I mean I feel like some of those were okay? I don't think I was out here CoD'ing them.

 

Honestly yeah One Punch Man I've been pretty wary of ever since the first details came out with the enormous cast list and the long info packet that was put up before the plot summary was written. I've also read some of the manga and thought it stopped being amusing after like one chapter. So... Iunno, I want to be pleasantly surprised? But. I am not really looking forward to reading it, full disclosure.

Edited April 2, 2019 by Xillix

[Xillix]

Honest question @Spaghetti - was there some sort of captioned telephone technology in the 1950s that I'm unaware of?

[Xillix]

JUNE

 

Portal

The game's sense of humor translates well, but there's virtually no story here, so its feature-length runtime is wholly excessive and it pretty much just feels like you wasted your time and money watching someone else play the game. You can get that for free on YouTube. This was a missed opportunity to expand on some potentially interesting lore.

 

Psyren

This is a really interesting concept and has some very memorable visuals and individual scenes. Unfortunately, some basic elements that really ought to be explained aren't - travel between worlds frequently and confusingly happens for certain characters offscreen, between scenes, and what seem like "power ups" for the heroes are shown but never addressed. Part of this is probably because, while there is a decent enough plot structure, not much really happens and the whole thing feels less like a self-contained movie than a frustratingly incomplete, teasing feature-length pilot episode. I expect a lot of disappointed people when the end credits start to roll - even just putting a "volume one" in the title might have gone some way toward ameliorating this issue.

 

Forever Yours

A simple, sweet story, pretty well-performed, with a couple of rather... confusing bits. I actually do appreciate the overall idea of the characters' deafness not being a major plot point, though. It gets a bit tiring when the only representation for people with disabilities is in movies that are basically about how much those disabilities suck.

 

Splatoon

I'm very glad that an honest attempt was made to craft a story to fill out the film's runtime in this case. The plot that Endless and Horizon have gone with is, frankly, a bit of an odd fit for the content of the game itself, and the tonal clash is sometimes a little bit jarring. But honestly, it's a perfectly decent family flick for the most part. Little kids will have a blast and it's an easy enough sit for parents and older siblings - though elements of the climax might bring to mind unflattering comparisons to some surprisingly similar bits of the superior Two Lonely Bounty Hunters.

 

An Odd Road Trip

Seeing other reviews I thought comparisons might have been overblown, but... no, this is just the first SpongeBob movie with Ben Stiller and a totally unjustified $70 million budget. The hell? I had hoped we were done with the blatant plagiarism after those early Fine Films horror releases.

 

Wii Sports

It's an inoffensive enough series of sports vignettes, but why is Lonergan directing it? Why is it getting released in 3,500+ theatres instead of straight to Netflix? Why did they bother paying for the video game license when it has absolutely nothing to do with the game other than using the same very basic selection of common sports? Just - why does this exist?

 

One Punch Man

I was not pleasantly surprised. In the interest of full disclosure I eventually had to just skim a lot of this because... yeah. Not my cup of tea at all, and then it just keeps going, and going, and going, and who's that, and what's this, and I don't care. Obviously a lot of effort was put into this but it feels like it was a pretty misdirected effort. Instead of coming up with so many cameos and fitting in so many elements from the source material, the focus really should have been on finding out how to get the point of the story across without resorting to the kitchen-sink approach.

 

This reminds me a lot of M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender - a whitewashed protagonist, an attempt to cram a whole TV season's worth of content into a single movie by focusing on the earliest and latest episodes, still winding up with way, way too much to cover at once, the pacing being completely broken, the supremely overinflated budget. Granted the cast is better and so is the dialogue, but I find the source material's story far, far less interesting than Airbender's anyway, and the jokey superhero style didn't draw me in with intoxicating atmosphere and solid visuals the way even Shyamalan's movie managed. There's a chuckle-worthy gag every now and then but it's a needle in a haystack proposition.

 

I won't denigrate people for finding it entertaining - that's what it's for, after all - but to me this is pretty much a total misfire up there with the Peter Jackson Bionicle flick (albeit in the polar opposite sense).

[SLAM!]

Maybe I should start focusing on the story content of films as much as I focus on the film's form. I think that's part of what happened to Psyren; but the sequel will definitely be more fleshed out. I'll adapt not one volume, but two of them.

Edited April 3, 2019 by Slambros

[Blankments]

in my defense AORT is a designated bad movie filler I have from 2.0 so it’s dumb high school me plagiarizing and decently intellgenced adult me just trying to fill a scheduling gap with old plagiarism 

Edited April 3, 2019 by Blankments