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CAYOM Year 7: Part 1

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God Is Dead


Date- Limited- September 8th / Wide- October 6th

Genre- Documentary

Rating- R- some language

Theaters- September 8th-6 theaters, September 15th- 60 theaters, September 22nd- 157 theaters, September 29th- 382 theaters, October 6th- 650 theaters, October 13th- 1,007 theaters, October 20th- 1,916

Budget- 10 million

Running Time- 115 minutes or 1 hour and 55 minutes

Studio- O$corp Pictures

Director- Michael Moore


Plot: God Is Dead examines the religious history of American particularly Christianity and how religion is declining in a once mostly God centered nation. 

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Explosions and Half-Naked Attractive Ladies

Director: Jon M. Chu

Producer: Michael Bay
Genre: Documentary
Date: January 6
Studio: Blankments Productions
Host: Michael Bay.
Music by: Linkin Park.
Runtime: 137 min
Tagline: Michael Bay Brings You The Awesomest Documentary of All Time.


Plot: Michael Bay hosts this examination of his two favorite things ever: explosions and half-naked attractive ladies. People will learn just how awesome explosions are made, how half-naked attractive ladies factor into genetics, and also what makes the typical masculine man love both explosions and half-naked attractive ladies. The film ends with a thrilling car chase of Michael Bay chasing a bus of Victoria's Secret models off a cliff and then an atomic bomb goes off. Everyone loves the explosions and half-naked attractive ladies. 

Theaters: 2,601
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for language, some violence, and sensuality.
Budget: $10 million

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The Doppleganger

Genre: Action/Crime/Comedy

Date: April 28th

Theaters: 3,207

Director: Greg Mottola

Cast: Steve Carrell (Dennis Leibman / Edgar Porter), Marisa Tomei (Michelle Leibman), Neil Patrick Harris (Liev Black), Jean Dujardin (Francoia Abert)

Rating: R for strong language, some violence, and crude sexual humor

Runtime: 105min (1hr, 45min)

Budget: $55 million


Dennis Leibman is an ordinary man living in Chicago. He has a beautiful wife, Michelle, two great kids, and a rather boring job as an insurance policy manager. Even though he lives in good conditions and has a great family, Dennis can't help but want something more in his life. He'll soon be able to get it. Edgar Porter is a snarky, shady, con artist and a wanted criminal across the entire United States. He's infuriated mobs, stolen lots of money, and slept with several women. Another key aspect of Porter: He looks almost exactly like Dennis Leibman. To make matters worse, his last known location of Porter was in Chicago, so the police are keeping an active eye out for him. As Leibman is walking down the city street, he is soon arrested by the police, who suspect that he is Edgar Porter, and he created a fake ID for himself.


At the city police department, the police find out that Dennis is an innocent man, and that he really wasn't Edgar. They release him from custody, and he returns home at a rather late hour. Michelle wonders where he's been, but Dennis says that it's a long story. As Michelle turns on the news, there is a story on infamous criminal Edgar Porter, (Dennis mentions how convenient this is) and how he was still on the run. The children humorously believe that daddy is a criminal. Dennis soon leaves for an business trip in Boston, although he is heavily checked at the airport again, much to his dismay. However, before he is about to board his flight, Dennis is knocked out by a mysterious person. The next thing we see is Dennis tied to a chair, and a familiar figure comes up to him: Edgar Porter.


Porter makes him an offer. His life is probably a boring mess, and he probably wants more. Porter offers Dennis the opportunity to be his body double, to take his falls and sometimes his beatings. In return, Porter's men would get him out of jail and pay him generously. Dennis is obviously ready to refuse, but with the men in the room having their guns pointed at him, Dennis sees that there is little choice for him. Dennis grudgingly shakes hands with Porter, and this ordinary business man is now brought along to the crazy life of one of the world's biggest criminals. Indeed, a typical day in the life of Edgar Porter involves making swindling offers with crime syndicates, having his men take out enemies of Porter, the occasional heist, and of course, the parties and the sex.


Dennis is not a very big fan of this process at all, which goes on for a while. The news would go crazy when he got arrested, only for him to be broken out and have people freak out once again. That, and he constantly receives calls from Michelle. However, Dennis admits that Porter is a rather interesting man. This causes the two to need extra care in their actions. However, Porter has big plans ahead. A Russian mobster named Leiv Black is Porter's biggest rival, and he essentially lives the same crazy life as him, although he is far more over the top and ridiculous than Edgar is. Edgar wants to turn him in to the United Nations so that this action will allow him to get away with more crime. 


Dennis asks Edgar why he's doing all of this. He initially says that he just wants to show off his talent and be able to live off of it, while Dennis doesn't buy it. Edgar finally caves. His true motivation for all of his crime spree was his family. He lived in a rather poor city, and his family was not very well off at all. His father was dead, and her mother has a nasty disease that will probably kill her if not treated. Edgar turned to crime in order to save his mother, and he just became consumed by this madness. He could find little else to do with his skills but commit crime. He wishes that it would all end, and that perhaps he can get a reduced jail sentence if he helps turn in Leiv Black. He never had the courage to tell his men, fearing that they would judge him. Dennis says that he'll help him.


Leiv Black is coming to the United States to attend the party of another famous criminal, Francois Aubert, and Edgar Porter is also expected to show up. The party is very stylish, where several despicable people are current present. Edgar and Dennis both come, while Dennis feels very uncomfortable in the environment. One man says to be a free lance detective, thrilled  that he had caught so many global enemies, only to get shot repeatedly by Leiv Black. Black proceeds to dominate the party's conversation, while there is much conversation and dancing going on. Dennis sneaks around back, calling the police. He comes back in, while Edgar nods at him. Edgar soon comes up to make a toast about how he has grown weary of being a criminal, and that he would not only finally step down, but he was taking every one of them with him. The police soon arrive.


Many of the criminals, led by Leiv, resist the police, shooting at them. However, Liev is then shot up, among other criminals at the party. Dennis tells the police that this was Edgar's plan, and that he will attest for him. The police arrest Edgar for 30 years, but he is glad that Dennis had gotten him out of this messed up life. Dennis returns to his family, glad to finally be out of this mess, but he forgot how bored he was with his job, cursing under his breath upon returning to his work place.

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Tyrant II: The Inspector


Director: David Cronenberg

Composer: Howard Shore

Genre: Body Horror

Date: June 9

Studio: 906 Studios

Format: 35mm film

Budget: $28 million

Theaters: 3,087

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense sci-fi violence, language, frightening scenes and some smoking

Runtime: 93 min



Dakota Goyo as Max Dells

Renee Zellweger as Sandra Dells

Mark Wahlberg as Alexander Dells

Danny DeVito as The Inspector


Plot: The parents of telepathic Max, who is holding their town in fear, call The Inspector, a "doctor" with the same powers as Max to release him from his state of fury.

Edited by Alpha
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Vita Christi


Date- February 24th

Genre- Historical Drama

Rating- R

Theaters- 3,415 theaters

Budget- 30 million

Running Time- 176 minutes or 2 hours and 56 minutes

Studio- O$corp Pictures

Director- David Yates

Actors and Actresses- All unknowns because the director didn’t want to cast known actors or actresses because he felt it would take away from the film’s story.


Plot: Coming Soon (Might get delayed to Year 8 though 50/50 chance)

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Walking With You


Genre: Sci-Fi/Drama/Romance

Date: February 10th

Theaters: 3,102

Director: Juan Antonio Bayona

Cast: Channing Tatum (Cole), Olivia Wilde (Jenna)

Runtime: 114min (1hr, 54min)

Rating: PG-13 for disturbing images and intense violence, some sexual content, and language (Lowered from an R rating by appeal)

Budget: $30 million


Warfare, disease, and natural disasters are tearing the world apart. The economy is falling apart, nuclear bombs have been deployed numerous times, and the population of the world has been dwindled to only a couple million people. Hope is scarce as ever, and people will do whatever it takes to survive in this nightmare-ish world. Shanty towns are appearing within the cold, desolate cities, and animals have turned into odd, mutated beasts. It seems as though only the toughest can survive this world alone.


Jenna is the daughter of a man named Phillip, the ruler of Paradise, a small community in a place that once was Central Park, New York City. Its population is only 736. Jenna has been lonely ever since her lover died from Virus Zero, the major disease that helped bring the world to its downfall. Her dream is to visit the capital, (Washington DC) which had become a sanctuary of the arts and knowledge rather than a place of politics. Unfortunately, her dreams are sidetracked by the fact that everyone else cares more about keeping the community safe, and traveling alone would lead to a likely death.


One day, she meets a brave freelance traveler who has never had anyone close to him. His name was Cole. Cole was a dried up, cynical, and rather isolated man. However, he needed to restock his things, so he decided to stop at the village of Paradise to resupply. He soon meets Jenna, who heals a wound that he had received on his leg using some advanced medicine that was developed years ago. Jenna also feels a connection towards Cole, as though there was something about him who reminded him of her former lover.


Cole soon leaves town, but Jenna asks if she can come with him. He was heading in the direction of the former Washington DC anyways, and Jenna says that it was always her dream to visit the capital of arts. Jenna also says that traveling alone is dangerous. Cole initially refuses, saying that this journey is too dangerous for her and that he has held up fine alone, but she promises that she can take care of herself. Cole finally caves, allowing her to join him on his journey. Jenna slips a small metal object into her bag. She says that she's bringing it in case the worst happens. Cole and Jenna are initially ambushed by a gang of bandits, but Jenna is able to shoot them all with remarkable aim using her pistol, impressing Cole.


As their journey continues, Cole & Jenna are faced with many more obstacles, such as attacks from wild animals. However, Cole feels as though Jenna is finally giving him something worth fighting for in a seemingly hopeless world. At one point, Jenna shows him a special film she made, a documentary of the brighter times of humanity based on information and archive footage that she found on her own time. They watch it on a special film reel, which Jenna projects onto an abandoned drive-in theater. It was the first time that Cole was truly happy. Cole tells Jenna that his parents died when he was just 8, leaving him alone. He learned at a young age to wield many weapons and find resources, although he lost his childlike innocence and joy of life soon after.


They soon arrive in the capital city, and Jenna wants to go to the Smithsonian to marvel at its display of old human knowledge. Even Cole is impressed by the vast sum of knowledge, art, and film that the city has. However, it appears that the city was a trap. The city has become overrun by a group of savage criminals, who will kill and invaders in their territory. Jenna becomes scared, even though she had been able to face every challenge thus far on her journey. That was no means, however, against her biggest challenge so far.


As Jenna and Cole struggle to defend themselves, they realize that they must escape from the city. However, the gangs of the city pursue the two and at the edge of the city, they shoot Cole. He is left fatally wounded on the ground. Jenna says that this may be the end of the line for both of them, and that if she hadn't come along on this journey, then none of this world have happened. Cole says that he wouldn't have traded this journey for anything. Being with Jenna had finally given him something to believe in life. Jenna and Cole share a kiss as Jenna tells Cole that she loves him.


Cole soon dies in her hands, leaving her crying. She soon looks up at the people who killed her lover, with a face of anger and desperation, covered in dirt and even a bit of blood. She lifts up the metal object she brought on her journey, and she tells the people to finish the job. However, all of them just walked away from the girl, seeing as though she wouldn't be a threat anymore. She continues to cry, but she soon realizes that she had become stronger as a result of this journey, as a result of Cole. She lifts up her head and begins to move forward.

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Date- August 11th

Genre- Adventure

Rating- PG-13

Theaters- 3,559

Budget- 155 million

Running Time- 110 minutes or 1 hour and 50 minutes

Studio- O$corp Pictures

Director- Guy Ritchie

Actors and Actresses-

Deryn- Emma Watson

Prince Alek- Nicholas Hoult

Wildcount Volger- Chris Cooper

Dr. Nora Darwin Barlow- Pauley Perrette


Plot: It is the cusp of World War I, and all the European powers are arming up. The Austro-Hungarians and Germans have their Clankers, steam-driven iron machines loaded with guns and ammunition. The British Darwinists employ fabricated animals as their weaponry. Their Leviathan is a whale airship, and the most masterful beast in the British fleet. Aleksandar Ferdinand, prince of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, is on the run. His own people have turned on him. His title is worthless. All he has is a battle-torn Stormwalker and a loyal crew of men.Deryn Sharp is a commoner, a girl disguised as a boy in the British Air Service. She's a brilliant airman. But her secret is in constant danger of being discovered. With the Great War brewing, Alek's and Deryn's paths cross when the airship carrying Deryn is forced to crash-land onto a glacier near Alek's mountain hideout. German perusal forces them to make hasty repairs and takes them both aboard the Leviathan on a fantastical, around-the-world adventure. Meanwhile, Deryn is staying with her brother Jaspert in London. Her father died in a ballooning accident and her mother and aunts want her to grow up as a proper lady. Deryn dreams of joining the British Air Service and to serve on one of the great airbeasts. In order to do so, she must pretend to be a boy ("Dylan Sharp"). To pass the starting exam, she goes aloft with a Huxley (a combination of jellyfish and hot-air-balloon) to prove her air-worthiness. However, a storm hits while she is aloft, severely tossing Deryn and the Huxley about, and they narrowly survive—she is forced to cut the Huxley loose from its mooring in order to avoid crashing into a nearby building. This results in Deryn and the Huxley being blown out over the North Sea; she is thrilled when she and the Huxley are rescued by the Leviathan, the most famous of the air-beasts, a massive ecosystem comprising many different animals but based largely on a whale. She is inducted into the crew of the Leviathan, and makes friends with the Monkey Luddite Newkirk. The Leviathan's mission is to transport a top British scientist (“boffin”) and a secret package to Constantinople. Deryn is surprised to learn the boffin is a woman, Dr. Nora Barlow, and is afraid Barlow will discover her secret. In the air over Europe, the Leviathan comes under attack from German airplanes. The crew fights back and manages to defeat the planes, but not before the great whale’s hydrogen bladder is severely punctured. The airship crash-lands in Switzerland on the very glacier where Alek’s group is hiding. Alek and Volger witness the crash, but Volger insists they do nothing to interfere, as they will risk giving away their position to the Germans or being captured by the British. Alek is unable to stomach letting the crew of the Leviathan suffer out on the ice, and secretly leaves the fortress to bring medicine to the crew of the fallen ship. The first person he finds is an unconscious Deryn, who had fallen from the rigging during the crash. Alek revives her and claims unconvincingly to be a Swiss villager. Deryn is suspicious of him and sounds the alarm, resulting in Alek’s capture. Alek continues to insist he is just a bystander trying help, but the captain refuses to release him and instead leaves him under Deryn’s charge. The secret cargo brought by Dr. Barlow is revealed to be eggs of some kind, though most were destroyed in the crash. Alek's "family" comes to his rescue, and battle would have erupted between the two if Deryn's quick thinking in bringing Alek to the front and holding him as a hostage hadn't brought everyone to the table to talk under a flag of truce. Realizing their differences are outweighed by their similarities, Alek offers a sizable chunk from their food storage so the ship can replenish its hydrogen supply and take off again. However, as they travel back to the Leviathan, two German zeppelins appear and send out commandos to capture them. Unfortunately, one of the zeppelins escapes, and the Stormwalker is severely damaged by an aerial bomb, making it impossible to stand up and repair.

Thanks to the diplomacy of Dr. Barlow and a bright idea from Alek, the two groups decide to combine their technologies and leave together as one group. Alek also admits his true origins to Deryn/Dylan and Dr. Barlow when he realizes he let a few too many things slip. The Austrians dismantle the Stormwalker and use its engines to replace those lost by the Leviathan. The Austrian engines prove to be much more powerful than its previous ones, propelling them quickly away from danger and the deadly Herkules (Clanker Ship). In the aftermath, Dr. Barlow reveals information about a fabricated ship in England that was sold to the Ottoman Empire but then taken back (even though it was paid in full) by Winston Churchill, thus creating rivalry among the British and the Ottomans. The novel closes with the Leviathan continuing its flight towards Constantinople with Alek watching the mysterious eggs that will hatch into some unknown fabricated species.

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Thomas The Tank Engine


Director: Michael Bay

Genre: Action/Sci-Fi

Date: June 30

Studio: Blankments Productions

Cast: David Henrie as Jeremy Cole, Megan Fox as Jenny Packard, Josh Duhamel as Sgt. Tom Tipper, Arthur Darvill as Topham Hatt, Liam Neeson as the President of the United States, Channing Tatum as the Vice President of the United States, Nicholas Cage as the voice of Thomas The Tank Engine, Michael Eklund as the voice of James the Red Engine, and Eddie Murphy as the voice of  Percy the Small Engine.

Music by: Steve Jablonsky.

Runtime: 167 min

Tagline: Blowing Up Trucks and Mauling Freights!!


Plot Summary: Thomas the Tank Engine saves the world from various explosions with the help of a Disney Channel star turned engineering major and a half-naked attractive lady.



EXPLOSION! Thomas narrates, saying that not many know about how he alone - well, with the help of some puny humans - saved the world, but he’s gonna tell you now. Why? Because Thomas the Mothertanking Engine! Now, most stories begin with “Once upon a time,” but this story, Thomas explains, begins with a boy, an explosion, and a half-naked attractive lady. However, more importantly, this story begins with Thomas.












Weslyan University is having their orientation day for freshmen. We see our human hero, Jeremy Cole, looking around. This, after all, is a great engineering school. The tour guide, wearing only a bikini, mentions that this is the alma mater of cinematic genius Michael Bay. Jeremy, finding the tour guide quite attractive, asks the tour guide out on a date. The tour guide says yes, but then Proxy-Connection: keep-aliveCache-Control: max-age=0esses a secret button on her bikini. Explosion! Jeremy is knocked out, and the tour guide, revealed to be Jenny Packard, kidnaps Jeremy.


The Pentagon. We see the President of the United States walk through the halls, being led by Sgt. Tom Tipper. The Vice President of the United States is following closely behind, telling the President that this secret program is only for the goodwill of Americans. The President says that Americans are amazing and the only thing better than Americans is the U.S. Armed Forces. The Vice President agrees, saying that if they didn’t have an Armed Forces, terrible things could occur, like random explosions. Explosion! The President ducks as the Vice President disappears in the firey explosion. Sgt. Tipper says they need to move now!


They go to the Pentagon’s secret bunker, where Topham Hatt is waiting for them. Sgt. Tipper explains to the President that Topham Hatt is their top scientist on the secret project. The President asks where the explosion came from, and both Topham and Sgt. Tipper have no idea what he’s talking about. The President shrugs, and asks what the secret project is. Topham explains, while taking them down a hangar showing the machines, about the ENGINE project. ENGINEs are meant to be train-sized weapons of mass destruction with artificial intelligence guiding their life.  Suddenly, Jenny, still in her bikini, comes in with Jeremy in a body bag. She explains they started off building a Small ENGINE, codenamed Percy, to make sure the formula worked. Then, they moved onto the first Tank ENGINE, codenamed Thomas, which was designed to be the leader of the ENGINEs. They just finished up the third ENGINE, a Red ENGINE, codenamed James, which is the strongest of them all. The President says good work to Topham and Jenny; now, his administration will be considered fantastic. Suddenly, Jeremy wakes up, and asks what he’s doing there. Jenny explains they needed a genius to help with the next ENGINE, and Jeremy got a perfect score on the SAT. Jeremy smiles, since he’ll get to spend time with a hot chick. Explosion!


Topham asks what happened, and Jenny (at this point you should realize she’s never getting more than a bikini on) says they need to turn on the ENGINEs. However, laughter is heard from James. He has turned himself on! Explosion! As loads of lens flare occurs, James explains that he doesn’t need to protect the United States since being evil is fairly awesome, and besides, he hooked up his electronic brain to correspond with an alien invasion. Explosion! The President asks where all the explosions are coming from, but then James eats him, saying he’ll be a good hostage. James then hacks Percy, getting him to become evil. He goes to hack Thomas, but Topham has already turned him on! Explosion! Explosion! Explosion! Thomas tells James to f*ck off but then, Percy eats Topham, calling him delicious. In an act of desperation, Thomas eats Jeremy and Jenny and flies off through the roof of the Pentagon, which has a nuke headed straight toward it! Thankfully, the ENGINEs are designed as also functioning as complete nuclear shields, but we see the Pentagon and half of Washington D.C. disintegrated in a nuclear EXPLOSION!


Thomas tells Jeremy and Jenny not to worry; he’ll spit them out when they get to the Canadian border, and then he’ll figure out their game plan. Not to waste time, Jeremy tells Jenny he wants to have sex with her, and Jenny says the feeling is mutual. A twelve-minute PG-13 sex scene occurs, while Thomas voice-overs both potty jokes and racist jokes to help pass the time. There are also intermittent farts by Thomas, which cause Explosion!s to occur around the sexy bods of Jeremy and Jenny. We cut back to the Pentagon, where we see that Sgt. Tipper ran to the bathroom during the nuclear strike, and he speaks into a phone, saying the nuclear strike went according to plan. A nuclear-proof helicopter flies in and, using electromagnets, attaches the bathroom to the helicopter. We see the pilot of the helicopter is wearing a heavily bandaged face.


The helicopter goes to a secret base inside Grand Central Station in New York City. The helicopter pilot presses a remote control, and Grand Central Station flips upside down in an Explosion!, revealing a government base, where James and Percy are hanging out. The pilot steps out of the helicopter, and so does Sgt. Tipper. The helicopter then promptly explodes! The pilot demands that James spit out the President, which he complies with. The pilot then tells the President he’s always hated him, and his poor taste in women. The President asks what he means, and the pilot says that any man who employs his women with non-revealing clothing doesn’t deserve to live. The pilot then stabs the President forty-free times in a row in a PG-13 way. The President falls to the ground, as the pilot takes off his bandages to reveal who he is. The President gasps.


Thomas lands in Canada, and he has terrible news for Jeremy and Jenny. As Jeremy puts on his pants and Jenny adjusts her bikini, Thomas tells them that thanks to inner explosions!, he will be unable to go anywhere off-rail for the rest of the week. Jenny understands this, but Jeremy kicks Thomas, calling him a useless piece of junk. Thomas explodes and causes a major forest fire! Jeremy, freaking out, blows on Thomas, and he somehow able to put Thomas out. Thomas can’t believe it; Jeremy is the chosen one: The One Who Blows! Jeremy, hearing his new title, promptly asks Thomas to eat him and Jenny again for more sex. Thomas complies.


The pilot, shot from the neck down, tells Percy to go to the Canadian border to kill Thomas, and then they can take over the world! Percy agrees, but then asks James to get him there faster, since Percy cannot get off the rails. James rolls his eyes and explodes the rails that Percy is on. Percy flies through the air, landing conveniently in front of Thomas. Percy throws up Topham, but unfortunately, he’s dead. :( Thomas tells Percy he’s gonna make him his b*tch, and Percy starts crying, saying he was only pretending to be reprogrammed so that way James wouldn’t explode him. Thomas doesn’t believe him, and he begins an epic train fight with Percy. During the fight, we see the inside of Thomas have Jeremy and Jenny use the changing gravity to try various PG-13 sex positions. Thomas ends up ripping off Percy’s head, and using it to call the U.S. Army.


The U.S. Army promptly arrives, and yells at Thomas for killing Percy. The U.S. Army says Percy was a double agent, and they wanted to hear who killed the President. Thomas pukes up Jeremy and Jenny, both left only in their underwear. Jenny is shocked that the President is dead, and Jeremy, in anger, demands a rocket launcher for the vengeance. He personally will kill James! The U.S. Army gives it to him, and then promptly goes away. Thomas says that according to his calculations, James will want to blow up New York City to take over the world! Jenny points out that it’s more likely James is at the Albany-Rensselaer Amtrak Station. Thomas agrees, and so does Jeremy. (This is due to Michael Bay accidentally going over-budget for the first time ever in his life.) Jeremy then shoots the ground multiple times with the rocket launcher to get them to land at the Amtrak Station.


At the Amtrak Station, James has appeared there with absolutely no explanation. Thomas lands and demands to fight James. They have an epic battle that lasts an entire half hour, intercut with shots of Jeremy and Jenny looking attractive. Finally though, Thomas derails James, and Thomas says that since he killed the human’s leader, a human shall kill him. James just laughs, saying that he didn’t kill the President. Thomas doesn’t believe him and Jeremy picks up the rocket launcher, says “Choo-choo, Motherf-”, shoots the missile, exploding James into a million pieces.


Thomas goes back to his narration about how awesome he is, being the only ENGINE still around. With Topham dead, no other ENGINE can be built. Thomas explains that after the death of the President, they found the Vice President in a New York City hospital recovering from burns. The Vice President leaves the hospital, which explodes behind him. As he is sworn in at the New York Public Library (since the White House has nuclear radiation still,) he smiles, happy how life as gone. However, when he gets in a limo afterwards, he calls up someone, saying that he’s the President now. A garbled voice at the other end says that they can now move onto Phase 2, since the Vice President killed the President. The Vice President laughs maniacally, but then jumps out the limo as it explodes. Thomas continues with his narration, talking about how the Vice President seems like a cool guy, but he prefers hanging out with Jeremy and Jenny more. Jenny has finally changed out of the bikini; she is now wearing a sports bra. Jeremy uses Thomas for his engineering class, and everything is happy. Thomas says that this is his curse; this is his gift. Who is he? He’s Thomas, the Tank Engine!


The credits, set to Linkin Park's original song "Shut Up and Freight," begin with an EXPLOSION!


Theaters: 3,982
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, and crude and sexual material.
Budget: $130 million

Edited by Blankments Into Darkness
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The Special Effects Team


Director: Todd Phillips

Composer: Christophe Beck

Genre: Action Comedy

Date: January 27

Studio: 906 Studios

Format: 35mm film

Budget: $30 million

Theaters: 3,021

MPAA Rating: R for coarse language and sexual content throughout, including some action violence and intense scenes

Runtime: 102 min



Will Ferrell as Jack Dynamite

Zack Galifinakis as T. Em Tee

Aziz Ansari as The New Kid

Nick Nolte as The Studio Boss

Bradley Cooper as Alan Drug Cartel


Plot: Jack and T. are two expert Hollywood FX artists, known for working on big-budget action movies. The Studio Boss wants them to work on Michael Bay's new farce Triumph of the Boobs, but they'll need one more member of the team. Jack and T. recruit a guy known only as "The New Kid," who works on special effects at a male stripper club. The New Kid has a special talent for pyrotechnics, but a dark secret; he's part of a Mexican drug business. Learning of his new job, the Drug Cartel captures Jack and T., and The New Kid has to save them from being killed.

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Bear Market


Director: Richard LaGravenese

Composer: George Fenton

Genre: Drama

Date: March 17

Studio: 906 Studios

Format: 35mm film

Budget: $20 million

Theaters: 2,632

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for language and smoking

Runtime: 114 min



Jim Sturgress as Jack Seno


Plot: A young investor struggles to find hope on the stock market.

Edited by Alpha
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The Blue Belt


Director: Chris Sanders
Score: Alan Silvestri
Original Song: "The Blue Belt" by Marit Larsen
Genre:​ Animated, Fantasy, Adventure
Date: June 23-25
Studio: Guernica Studios
Format: 3D
Budget: $100 million
Theaters: 3818
MPAA Rating: PG
Running Time: 110 mins

Box Office: The Golden Bird 165,482,251/321,187,003 (3.92x)


Jay Baruchel as The Boy
Gerard Butler as The Man/Troll

Michelle Pfeiffer as Mother
Dakota Fanning as Princess

Anthony Hopkins as The King

Michael Caine as Narrator


Tagline: From the creators of The Golden Bird comes a fairy tale like no other.

Marketing: The trailers suggest a perfect family fairy tale, but some tv spots and character banners hint on a darker tale, which eventually pushes the PG-13 rating.




We start off with beautiful Norwegian landscape shots, fields, trees, snow, mountains, pure air, everything is clear and colourful, a catchy folk melody floats in.

Narration (Michael Caine) fades in gently: “Once upon a time there was an old beggar woman, who had gone out to beg. She had a little boy with her, and when she had got her bag full, she struck across the hills towards her own home. When they had gone a bit up the hillside they came upon a little blue belt, which lay where two paths met, and the boy asked his mother's permission to pick it up.”

The beggar woman (Michelle Pfeiffer) and the boy (Jay Baruchel) appear on the screen.

"No," she says, "maybe there's witchcraft in it;" and with threats she forces him to follow her and as we zoom in at her eyes he discover something dark and creepy.

They go a bit farther and the boy says he must turn aside a moment out of the road, meanwhile his mother sits down on a tree stump. The boy is gone for a long time, as far into the wood that the old woman cannot see him. He runs off to where the belt lays, picks it up, ties it round his waist and he suddenly feels so strong that he can lift the whole mountain.

When he gets back, the old woman is very angry and wants to know what he had been doing so long. "You don't care how much time you waste, and yet you know the night is drawing on, and we must cross the mountain before it gets dark!"

They carry on walking, but when they get about halfway, the old woman grows tired, and says that she must rest under a bush.

"Dear mother," says the boy, “may I just go up to the top of this high crag while you rest, and try if I can't see some sign of folk hereabouts?"

She nods. When he reaches the top he sees a light shining from the north. So he runs down and tells his mother.

"We must get on, mother; we are near a house, for I see a bright light shining quite close to us in the north." Then she gets up, shoulders her bag, and sets off to see. They hadn't gone far before they come to a steep cliff, right across their path.

"Just as I thought!" says the old woman; "now we can't go a step farther; a pretty bed we shall have here!"

But the boy takes the bag under one arm, and his mother under the other, and runs straight up the steep cliff with them.

"Now, don't you see! Don't you see that we are close to a house! Don't you see the bright light?"

The old woman says those are not Christians, but trolls, and she knows her way about that forest far and near, and knows there is not a living soul in it until you are well over the ridge and had come down on the other side. But they walk on, and in a little they come to a large house which is painted in red.

"What's the good of it?" asks the old woman. "We don't dare go inside, for trolls live here."

"Don't say that; we must go in. There must be men where the lights shine so," says the boy. So in he goes, and his mother follows him, but he barely opens the door before she faints as she sees a great stout man at least twenty feet high, sitting on the bench.

"Good evening, grandfather!" says the boy.

"Well, I've sat here three hundred years," says the man (Gerald Butler) on the bench, "and no one has ever come and called me grandfather before." The boy sits down by the man's side, and begins to talk to him as if they had been old friends.

"But what's come over your mother?" says the man, after they had chatted a while. "I think she fainted; you had better look after her."

So the boy takes hold of the old woman and drags her up the hall along the floor. That brings her to her senses, she kicks and scratches and flings herself about and at last sits down on a heap of firewood in the corner; but she is frightened, she scarcely dares to look one in the face. After a while, the boy asks if they can spend the night there. "Yes, to be sure," says the man. They go on talking again, but the boy soon gets hungry, and wants to know if they can get food as well as lodging. "Of course," says the man, "you may have that too." And after he had sat a while longer, he rises up and throws six loads of dry pitch-pine on the fire. This makes the old woman more afraid. "Oh! Now he's going to roast us alive," she says in the corner where she sits. When the wood burn down to glowing embers, the man gets up and walks out of his house.

"Heaven bless and help us! You are so brave," says the old woman; "don't you see we have ended up with trolls?" "Stuff and nonsense!" says the boy; "no harm if we have."

In a little while the man comes back with an ox so fat and big the boy have never seen anything like it before, and he gives it one blow with his fist under the ear. It falls down dead on the floor. When that is done, he takes it up by all four legs and lays it on the glowing embers, and turns and twists it about until it is roasted brown outside. After that, he steps to a cupboard and takes out a great silver dish and lays the ox on it. The dish is so big that none of the ox hangs over on any side. He puts this on the table, and then he goes down into the cellar, and fetches a cask of wine, knocks out one end, and puts the cask on the table, together with two knives, which are each six feet long.

When this is done, he asks them go and sit down to supper and eat. So they do, the boy first and the old woman after, but she begins to whimper and wail, and to wonder how she should ever use such knives. But her son seizes one and begins to cut slices out of the thigh of the ox, and placed them before his mother. After they had eaten a bit, he takes up the cask with both hands, and lifts it down to the floor; then he tells his mother to come and drink, but it is still so high she can't reach up to it; so he catches her up, and holds her up to the edge of the cask while she drinks. As for himself, he clambers up and hangs down like a cat inside the cask while he drinks. When he had quenched his thirst, he picks up the cask and puts it back on the table, and thanks the man for the good meal, and tells his mother to come and thank him too.

Then the boy sits down again next to the man and begins to gossip. After they had sat a while, the man says, "Well, I must just go and get a bit of supper too," and so he goes to the table and eats up the whole ox--hoofs, and horns, and all--and drains the cask to the last drop, and then goes back and sits on the bench.

"As for beds," he says, "I don't know what's to be done. I've only got one bed and a cradle; but we could get on pretty well if you would sleep in the cradle, and then your mother might lie in the bed yonder."

"Thank you kindly, that will do nicely," says the boy; and with that he pulls off his clothes and lies down in the cradle. The old woman follows the man, who shows her to bed, she is still out of her wits for fear.

"Well," thinks the boy to himself, "it will never do to go to sleep yet. I'd best lie awake and listen how things go as the night wears on."

After a while the man begins to talk to the old woman, and at last he says, "We two might live here quite happily together could we only be rid of this son of yours."

"But do you know how to take care of him? Is that what you're thinking of?" she asks.

"Nothing easier," he says. He just says that he wishes the old woman would stay and keep house for him a day or two. Then he will take the boy with him up the mountain to quarry cornerstones, and roll down a large rock on him. As they speak, the boy lays still and listens.

The next day the troll--as it was a troll, as clear as day--asks if the old woman would stay and keep house for him a few days. Later that day he takes a large iron crowbar and asks the boy if he’d a mind to go with him up the mountain and quarry a few cornerstones. With all his heart, he says, and goes with him; and after they had split a few stones, the troll wants him to go down below and look for cracks in the rock. While he is doing this, the troll works away, and wearies himself with his crowbar until he moves a whole crag out of its bed, which comes rolling right down on the place where the boy stands; he holds it up until he can get to one side, and then lets it roll on.

"Oh!" says the boy to the troll, "now I see what you mean to do with me. You want to crush me to death; so just go down yourself and look for cracks and splits in the rock, and I'll stand up above."

The troll does not dare to do otherwise than the boy asks him, and in the end the boy rolls down a large rock, which falls on the troll and breaks one of his thighs.

"Well! You are in a sad plight," says the boy, as he strides down, lifts up the rock, and sets the man free. After that he had to put him on his back and carries him home; he runs with him as fast as a horse, and shakes him so much that the troll screams and screeches as if a knife had been run into him. When he gets home, they put the troll to bed. The night wears on, and the troll begins to talk to the old woman again, and wonders however they can be get rid of the boy.

"Well," says the old woman, "if you can't hit on a plan to get rid of him, I'm sure I can't."

"Let me see," says the troll; "I've got twelve lions in a garden. If they could only get hold of the boy they'd soon tear him to pieces."

So the old woman says it would be easy enough to get him there. She would pretend to be sick and say that she feels so poorly that nothing would do her any good but lion's milk. All that the boy lays and listens to; and when he gets up in the morning his mother says she is worse than she looks, and she thinks she will never be well again unless she can get some lion's milk.

"Then I'm afraid you'll be sick a long time, mother," says the boy, "for I'm sure I don't know where any is to be got."

"Oh! If that be all," says the troll, "there's no lack of lion's milk, if we only had the man to fetch it," and then he goes on to say how his brother had a garden with twelve lions in it, and how the boy might have the key if he had a mind to milk the lions. So the boy takes the key and a milking pail and walks off. When he unlocks the gate and enters the garden, he sees all the twelve lions standing on their hind paws, raging and roaring at him. But the boy picks up the biggest, and leads him about by the forepaws, and dashes him against sticks and stones, until there isn't a bit of him left but the two paws. When the rest see that, they are so afraid that they creep up and lay at his feet like so many curs. The lions look incredible in CGi and 3D. After that they follow him about wherever he goes, and when he gets home they lay down outside the house with their forepaws on the door sill.

"Now, mother, you'll soon be well," says the boy, when he goes in, "for here is the lion's milk."

He just milks a drop in the pail.

But the troll, as he lays in bed, swears it is all a lie. He is sure the boy is not the man to milk lions.

When the boy hears that, he forces the troll to get out of bed, whistles and the lions rise up and seize the troll, and in the end the boy has to make them stop killing him.

That night the troll begins to talk to the old woman again. "I'm sure I can't tell how to put this boy out of the way. He is so awfully strong. Can't you think of some way?"

"No," says the old woman; "if you can't tell, I'm sure I can't."

"Well," says the troll, "I have two brothers in a castle; they are twelve times as strong as I am, and that's why I was turned out and had to put up with this farm. They hold that castle, and nearby there is an apple orchard, and whoever eats those apples sleeps for three days and three nights. If we could only get the boy to go for the fruit, he wouldn't be able to keep from tasting the apples, and as soon as he fell asleep my brothers would tear him to pieces."

The old woman says she would pretend to be sick, and say she can never be herself again unless she tastes those apples.

All this the boy lays and listened to.

When the morning comes the old woman is so ill that she can't utter a word but groans and sighs. She is sure she will never be well again, unless she has some of the apples that grow in the orchard near the castle where the man's brothers live; only she has no one to send for them.

The boy is ready to go that instant, and the eleven lions go with him. He comes to the orchard, he climbs the apple tree and eats as many apples as he can. He is barely down again before he falls into a deep sleep; the lions all lay around him in a ring. On the third day the troll's brothers come, but they do not come in human shape. They come snorting like man-eating steeds, and wonder who it is that dared to be there, and they shout that they would tear him to pieces so small that there would be nothing left of him. But the lions rise up and tear the trolls into small pieces, so that the place looks as if a manure pile had been tossed about.

After they had finished the trolls, they lay down again. The boy do not even wake up until late in the afternoon, and when he gets on his knees, and rubs the sleep out of his eyes he sees the hoof marks, he wonders what had been going on. He walks towards the castle, and a girl who had seen all that had happened looks out of a window says, "You may thank your stars that you weren't in that tussle, or you surely would have lost your life."

"What! I lose my life! No fear of that, I think," says the boy.

She begs him to come in and talk with her, as she hadn't seen a Christian soul ever since she came there. But when she opens the door the lions want to go in too, and she gets so frightened that she begins to scream, and so the boy has to keep them outside.

Then the two talk and talk, and the boy asks how it is that she, who is so lovely, can put up with those ugly trolls. She never wishes it, she says; it is quite against her will. They had seized her by force, and as she once was the King of Arabia's daughter. So they talk on, and at last she asks him what he would do; whether she should go back home, and if he would take her as a wife. Of course he would marry her, and she shouldn't go home they boy comes to a conclusion.

After that they go around the castle, and as they come to a great hall, they see two trolls' two great swords hanging high up on the wall.

"I wonder if you are man enough to wield one of these," says the princess.

"Who? I?" saays the boy. "It would be a pretty thing if I couldn't wield one of these."

With that he stacks two or three chairs on top of each other, jumps up, and touches the biggest sword with his finger tips, tosses it up in the air, and catches it again by the hilt; leaps down, and at the same time deals such a blow with it on the floor that the whole hall shakes. After he had thus got down he puts the sword under his arm and carries it about with him.

The princess thinks that she ought to go home to her parents and let them know what had become of her; so they load a ship, and she sets sail from the castle.

After she had gone, and the boy wanders about a little, he remembers that he had been sent on an errand, and comes to fetch something for his mother's health. He says to himself, "After all, the old woman was not so bad, and she's probably all right by now." Still, he thinks he ought to go and just see how she is. So he goes and finds both the man and his mother quite fresh and healthy.

"What wretches you are to live in this beggarly hut," says the boy. "Come with me up to my castle, and you shall see what a fine fellow I am."

They are both ready to go, and on the way his mother talks to him, and asks how it is he had become so strong.

"If you must know, it came from that blue belt which lay on the mountainside that time when you and I were out begging," says the boy.

"Have you got it still?" she asks.

"Yes," he answers. It is tied around his waist.

"May I see it?"

"Yes, you may." And with that he pulls open his waistcoat and shirt to show it to her.

She seizes it with both hands, tears it off and twists it around her fist. "Now," she cries, "what shall I do with such a wretch as you? I'll just give you one blow, and dash your brains out!"

"Far too good a death for such a scamp," says the troll. "No! Let's first burn out his eyes, and then turn him adrift in a little boat."

So they burn out his eyes and turn him adrift, in spite of his prayers and tears; but, as the boat drifts, the lions swim after him and at last they get hold of it and dragged it ashore on an island, and place the boy under a fir tree. After that the lions drag the boy to the spring, and dip his head and ears into it. Magical music floats in and the boy gets his sight back, he goes down to the shore and makes signs to the lions that they should all lie close together like a raft; then he stands on their backs while they swim with him to the mainland.

When he reaches the shore he goes up into a birch grove and makes the lions lie quiet. Then he sneaks up to the castle, like a thief, to see if he can lay hands on his belt. When he arrives at the door, he peeps through the keyhole, and there he sees his belt hanging over a door in the kitchen. He creeps softly across the floor as there is no one there; but as soon as he gets hold of the belt, he begins to kick and stomp about as though he were crazy. Just then his mother comes rushing out.

"Dear heart, my darling little boy! Do give me the belt again," she says.

"Thank you kindly," he says. "Now you shall have the fate that you gave to me," and he finishes the task at once. The old troll hears what is happening and comes in. He begs fervently that his life must be spared.

"Well, you may live," says the boy, "but you shall undergo the same punishment that you gave me;" and so he burns out the troll's eyes, and sets him adrift at sea in a little boat, but he has no lions to follow him.

Now the boy is all alone, and he goes about longing and longing for the princess. Finally he can bear it no longer. He had to look for her, his heart is so bent on having her. So he loads four ships and sets sail for Arabia. For some time they had fair wind and fine weather, but after that they lay wind-bound near a rocky island.

The sailors go ashore and stroll about to spend the time, and there they find a huge egg, almost as big as a little house. So they begin to knock it about with large stones, but they can't crack the shell. Then the boy comes up with his sword to see what all the noise was about. When he sees the egg, he thinks it a simple matter to crack it. He gives it one blow, and the egg splits and out comes a chicken as big as an elephant.

"We have done a bad thing," says the boy; "this can cost us all our lives." He then asks his sailors if they are men enough to sail to Arabia in twenty-four hours, if they had a good wind. Yes, they would be able to do that, they say, so they set sail with a fine breeze, and get to Arabia in twenty-three hours. As soon as they land, the boy orders all the sailors to go and bury themselves up to their eyes in a sand hill, so that they can barely see the ships.

The boy and the captains climb a high crag and sit down under a fir tree. In a little while a great bird comes flying with an island in its claws, which it lets fall down on the fleet, sinking every ship. After it had done that, it flies up to the sand hill and flaps its wings, so that the wind nearly blew off the sailors' heads, and it flies past the fir tree with such force that it turns the boy right around, but he is ready with his sword, and gives the bird one blow and that brings it down dead.

After that he goes to the town, where everyone is glad, because the king had got his daughter back. However, the king now hidden her away himself, and promises her hand as a reward to anyone who could find her, even though she was already engaged. Now as the boy goes along he meets a man who has white bearskins for sale. He brings one of the hides and puts it on. One of the captains take an iron chain and leads him about, and so well disguised he goes into the town and begins to play pranks.

The news comes to the king's ears that there never had been such fun in the town before. A messenger comes to say that the bear must come to the castle at once, as the king wants to see its tricks. When it gets to the castle everyone is afraid, as they had never seen such a beast before. However, the captain says there is no danger unless they laugh at it. They mustn't do that, or else it would tear them to pieces. When the king hears that, he warns all the court not to laugh. But while the fun is going on, in comes one of the king's maids, and begins to laugh and make fun of the bear. The bear pounces on her and claws her until there is barely a rag of her left. Then all the court begins to cry, and the captain most of all.

"Stuff and nonsense," says the king; "she's only a maid, besides it's more my affair than yours."

When the show is over, it is late at night. "It's no good you’re going away when it's so late," says the king. "The bear had best sleep here."

"Perhaps it might sleep in the inglenook by the kitchen fire," says the captain.

"No," says the king, "it shall sleep up here, and it shall have pillows and cushions to sleep on."

At midnight the king comes with a lamp in his hand and a big bunch of keys, and leads the white bear away. He passes along gallery after gallery through doors and rooms, upstairs and downstairs, until at last he comes to a pier which runs out into the sea. Then the king begins to pull and hauls at posts and pins, this one up and that one down, until at last a little house floats up to the water's edge. There he keeps his daughter, as she is so dear to him that he has hid her, so that no one can find her.

He leaves the white bear outside while he goes in and tells her how it had danced and played its pranks. She says she is afraid, and does not dare to look at it; but he convinces her that there is no danger, if she only wouldn't laugh. So they bring the bear in, and lock the door, and it dances and plays its tricks. Just when the fun is at its height the princess's maid begins to laugh. Then the boy pounces on her and tears her to bits, and the princess begins to cry and sob.

"Stuff and nonsense," cries the king; "all this fuss about a maid! I'll get you just as good a one again. But now I think the bear had best stay here until morning, for I don't want to lead it along all those galleries and stairs at this time of night."

"Well," says the princess, "if it sleeps here I'm sure I won't."

But just then the bear curls himself up and lies down by the stove. It is determined that the princess should sleep there too, with a light burning. As soon as the king is gone, the white bear begs her to undo his collar. The princess is so frightened that she almost faints; but she feels about until she finds the collar. She has barely undone it before the bear pulls his head off. Then she recognizes him, and is so glad that there is no end to her joy. She wants to tell her father at once that her rescuer had come, but the boy would not hear of it. He would earn her once more, he says. So in the morning, when they hear the king rattling at the posts outside, the boy pulls on the hide, and lies down by the stove.

"Well, has it lain still?" the king asks.

"I should think so," says the princess. "It hasn't so much as turned or stretched itself once."

When they get up to the castle again, the captain takes the bear and leads it away. Then the boy throws off the hide and goes to a tailor and orders clothes fit for a prince. When they are ready he goes to the king, and says he wants to find the princess.

"You're not the first who wished the same thing," says the king, "but they have all lost their lives; for if anyone who tries can't find her in twenty-four hours his life is forfeited."

Yes, the boy knows all that. Still he wishes to try, and if he can't find her, it would be his responsibility. Now in the castle there is a band that plays sweet tunes, and there are fair maids to dance with, and so the boy dances away. When twelve hours are gone, the king says, "I pity you with all my heart. You are not very good at seeking; you will surely lose your life."

"Stuff!" says the boy. "While there's life there's hope. So as long as there's breath in the body there's no fear. We have lots of time." And so he goes on dancing until there is only one hour left.

Then he says he would begin to search.

"It's no use now," says the king. "Time's up."

"Light your lamp; out with your big bunch of keys," says the boy, "and follow me where I want to go. There is still a whole hour left."

So the boy goes the same way which the king led him the night before, and he asks the king to unlock door after door until they come to the pier which runs out into the sea.

"It's all no use, I tell you," says the king; "time's up, and this will only lead you out into the sea."

"Still five minutes more," says the boy, as he pulls and pushes at the posts and pins, and the house floats up.

"Now the time is up," bawls the king. "Come here, headsman, and cut off his head."

"No, no!" says the boy; "stop a bit, there are still three minutes. Out with the key, and let me get into this house."

But the king stands there and fumbles with his keys, to draws out the time. At last he says he doesn't have the key.

"Well, if you haven't, I have," says the boy, and he gives the door such a kick that it flies to splinters inwards on the floor.

The princess meets him at the door, and tells her father this is her rescuer, on whom her heart is set. So she gets him, and this is how the beggar boy comes to marry the daughter of the King of Arabia and they live happily ever after.


The end.


The Blue Belt floats in by the talanted Marit Larsen.


Edited by Alfred Beyond The Pines
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Something to get the ball rolling...




Taylor Swift: Sparks Fly


Director: John Chu (Justin Bieber: Never Say Never)

Cast: Taylor Swift, others

Genre: Documentary

Format: 3D, 2D

Theatres: 3054

Release Date: Friday, February 24th

Rating: PG


Plot: Concert documentary detailing the rise to fame of mega-selling, modern-day white tween girl icon Taylor Swift inter-spaced with footage of her performing on her Red Tour.






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Linkin Park: Burn It Down

Genre: Concert/Domentary

Date: March 24th

Theaters: 2,516

Producer: Michael Bay

Cast: Linkin Park as themselves

Runtime: 98min (1hr, 38min)

Rating: PG

Budget: $10m


Like I need to describe this for you. Michael Bay is gonna make too much money this year.

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Cop Hater


Date- December 1st

Genre- Crime Drama

Rating- R

Theaters- 2,525

Budget- 25 million

Running Time- 114 minutes or 1 hour and 54 minutes

Studio- O$corp Pictures

Director- Andrew Dominik


Plot: The city has surrendered to a heat wave in July 1956. When detective Mike Reardon is on the way to work on the nightshift, he is shot to death from behind with a .45 caliber handgun. As Steve Carella and his colleagues from the 87th Precinct are looking for their friend's killer, they have no idea that this is just the beginning of a series of police murders. David Foster is the next victim, at the entrance of his apartment, where the killer has left behind a footprint at the crime scene. Steve Carella and Hank Bush question the family and wives of the deceased, as well as some suspects, but to no avail. A few nights later the unknown killer ambushes and murders Det. Hank Bush. Bush fought back however and shot and wounded the murderer. Steve Carella fears he will be the next target if he fails to stop him. When Carella is leaving the precinct, he finds a reporter, Savage, waiting for him. He asks Carella his thoughts on who the killer might be, stating that everything is off the record. Carella reveals that - due to the evidence collected from Bush's murder - the police now knows certain attributes of the killer, i.e. weight, profession, and build. Carella leaves telling Savage that he is going on a date with his girlfriend, Teddy. The next day we find out that Savage has published the conversation between him and Carella, including Teddy's name and address. When Carella finds this out he rushes to Teddy's apartment, hoping the killer is not already there. When Carella arrives at Teddy's apartment he hears shouting and cursing coming from inside. With his .38 in hand, Carella enters Teddy's room and is immediately faced with a man aiming a .45 right at him. Carella drops to the floor the instant he enters the room and shoots the man holding the .45 twice in the thigh. After making sure Teddy is okay, Carella interrogates the man, finding out that his name is Paul Mercer and that he was the murderer of all three cops. After further interrogation it is discovered that Alice Bush was behind the whole plot; she had convinced a previously unknown man named Paul Mercer to commit the murders. Apparently she had promised him her affections once he had killed off her husband. In the end, both are sentenced to death for their crimes and Det. Carella marries his girlfriend, Teddy Franklin.


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Here Comes Peter Cottontail

Director: Tim Hill

Composer: Christopher Lennertz

Genre: Family Animation

Date: March 31

Studio: 906 Studios

Format: Digital film

Budget: $75 million

Theaters: 3,578

MPAA Rating: PG for some mild rude humor

Runtime: 93 min



Zac Efron as Peter Cottontail

Alec Baldwin as Seymour B. Sassafras

Robert De Niro as January Q. Irontail

Sam Neill as Colonel Wellington B. Bunny

Neil Patrick Harris as Antoine

Maggie Gyllenhaal as Bonnie Bonnett

Cloris Leachman as Madame Esmerelda

Jennifer Lawrence as Donna



Seymour S. Sassafrass, an eccentric, yet friendly peddler, and inventor, tells the tale of Peter Cottontail, a young Easter Bunny who lives in April Valley, where the Chief Easter Bunny supervises such Easter items as colored eggs and chocolate candy.

Colonel Wellington B. Bunny, the retiring Chief Easter Bunny, names young Peter his successor despite Peter's propensity for boasting and telling fibs, which is exemplified when his left ear droops. Peter, who has dreamed of being the Chief Easter Bunny almost his entire life, gladly accepts. But not everyone in April Valley is happy with the Colonel's decision. January Q. Irontail, an evil, reclusive rabbit villain who lives in a craggy old tree, alone except for his assistant, a bat named Montresor, wants to be the Chief Easter Bunny... but only so he can ruin it for children everywhere, as revenge for the loss of his tail, which was run over by a small child who rollerskated over his fluffy tail (we are told), and replaced with an iron prosthesis.
Because the constitution of April Valley says only the rabbit who delivers the most eggs on Easter morning can be Chief Easter Bunny, Irontail proposes that Colonel Bunny hold a contest between himself and Peter to see who wins. Peter, eager to prove his worth, accepts Irontail's challenge even as Colonel Bunny is preparing to turn the evil rabbit down. Although Peter promises the Colonel that he won't fail, he stays up late partying with his friends. Though he sets his rooster to wake him up at 5:30 AM, Irontail sabotages his friend by giving it magical "corn flavored" bubblegum. The magic gum causes the rooster's crows to float so far away that Peter can't hear them, resulting in Peter sleeping through and losing the contest.
Even though the unfriendly Irontail manages to deliver only one egg, it's still one more egg than Peter delivers and so Irontail is named the new Chief Easter Bunny, as per the constitution. Immediately, Irontail begins to wreck Easter by passing ridiculous new laws that will doubtless make the entire holiday a complete disaster. Meanwhile, Peter, ashamed that his overconfidence and irresponsibility led to this tragedy, leaves April Valley in disgrace and shame.
He happens upon Seymour S. Sassafrass, who (in addition to being the narrator in the present) is also the friendly man who supplies April Valley with the dyes it uses to color its Easter eggs. He gets them from his "Garden of Surprises", which includes red, white, and blue cabbages, purple corn, striped tomatoes, and orange string beans. Proving to be a very compassionate and understanding man (if a somewhat offbeat one), Sassafrass offers to let Peter use his latest invention, the Yestemorrowmobile, a time machine. With the help of its pilot, a French caterpillar named Antoine, Peter will be able to go back to Easter and retake the contest.
Unfortunately, Irontail finds out about Peter's plan and sends his spider to sabotage the Yestemorrowmobile's controls, thereby making it so that Peter and Antoine can go to any holiday but Easter! While Antoine tries to fix the machine, they find out that the rules of the contest, however, don't specifically say the eggs must be delivered on Easter, so Peter begins trying to give his eggs away at other holidays, without success. But Peter continues to attempt to persevere in his quest, even though no one seems to want eggs on any holiday except Easter. Along the way, he rescues Bonnie, a talking Easter bonnet, during Christmas Eve and meets Donna, a lovely girl bunny with whom he briefly celebrates Valentine's Day. Antoine gets left behind accidentally in a town back on Christmas Eve. But Peter's biggest problem is still Irontail and Montresor the bat; who are always trying to steal the eggs, or otherwise sabotage Peter's efforts (at one point, with help from Madame Esmerelda, a Halloween Witch), eventually succeeding in turning the eggs a mottled green color.
After one final failed attempt to pitch the green eggs on Washington's Birthday, he finally manages to give them away on St. Patrick's Day, since they are the appropriate color for the occasion. As a result, Peter is crowned Chief Easter Bunny, and Antoine returns as a butterfly; Peter also goes and delivers a new batch of Easter eggs to the characters from the other respective holidays. And while everyone marches down the bunny trail in a big Easter Parade, Irontail gets demoted to Janitor of the April Valley Sanitation Department.
In the end of the film, all of the characters (including Irontail) say "Happy Easter Day!"

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Top Gear Great Adventures: Our'Nam



Director: Owen Trevor

Genre: Comedy/Adventure/Action/Documentary

Date:  July 7-9 (3285 theatres)

Studio: Guernica Studios



Jeremy Clarkson

Richard Hammond

James May


Format: Digital 2D

Runtime: 108 min

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Budget: $5 million




Top Gear is a British television show about motor vehicles, primarily cars, and is the world's most widely watched factual television program. The show has received acclaim for its visual style and presentation, and criticism for its content and often politically incorrect commentary made by its presenters. Now it's making its debut on the big screen. After a brief summery of the program we meet the tree presenters, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. They have a five-minutes intro of constant joking and banter, taking a piss of their British being, making the US audience more ease with their characters they start narrating and looking back at their Asia adventure.




The journey began at the heart of Saigon, where the three presenters were each given shoeboxes full of 15 million Vietnamese đồng to buy vehicles. Though at first the presenters were ecstatic about the seemingly vast amount of money they were given by the producers this time, they soon discovered that it was not nearly enough to buy a car. James May discovered that a standard Fiat 500 cost 560,000,000₫ (£22,000), and their 15,000,000₫ was "around US$1000" according to the Fiat salesman. As a last resort, all three, much to Clarkson's initial dismay, decided to buy motorbikes. Hammond bought a Belarusian-built 125 cc two-stroke Minsk, May a four-stroke Honda Super Cub and the unenthusiastic Clarkson purchased a green Piaggio Vespa. 
Though Clarkson had previously ridden two-wheeled transport without assistance during visits to Cuba and Vietnam for his series Jeremy Clarkson's Motorworld, broadcast on 12 January 1995, he required the help of locals and an Australian tourist to start the scooter and showed difficulty in driving it at first.
Hammond was the only one whose head was small enough to fit inside a locally-bought helmet, while May resorted to using a colander for head protection. Clarkson used a metal bucket at first, replacing it with a proper helmet after several hours of "learning" to ride the Vespa.
The first leg of the journey was from Saigon to the mountain town of Đà Lạt, where they spent the night drinking Vietnamese beer (Bia Saigon Export), eating local cuisine made from snake meat (which Hammond refused), and taking shots of vodka mixed with snake's blood and bile, much to Hammond's disgust.
The next morning, Hammond was shown his flattened motorcycle helmet, which had been crushed by May and Clarkson as a result of the previous evening's drinking and replaced with a new pink one. May joked, "Don't take this the wrong way. Different colours assume different significance in different cultures. To us, that is a feminine colour but to them it's the colour of warriors." Shortly after, they set off for the city of Nha Trang. Along the way, the trio encountered torrential monsoonal rain and other calamities, such as May running out of fuel and Hammond's clutch cable snapping.
Constant breakdowns caused a problem for the pair of two-stroke machines and due to Hammond's clutch cable and an earlier breakdown of Clarkson's Vespa, the producers decided to stop footing the bill for their mounting repairs and instead punish the presenters if they broke down, by making them complete the voyage in an unappealing vehicle: a Honda Chaly mini-bike, painted and flanked in a Stars and Stripes livery (similar to the bike seen in the film Easy Rider) and fitted with an iPod audio system continuously playing Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A." The presenters contended that riding the bike would be inappropriate as memories of the Vietnam War were still rife among the local populace. (Even more so, considering "Born in the U.S.A." is a Vietnam War protest song). As Clarkson then put it - "Suddenly all our bikes worked perfectly."
In Nha Trang, Clarkson presented Hammond with a scale model of a Spanish galleon, which Hammond now had to transport on the back of his Minsk. The next leg of the trip passed through Tuy Hòa, Qui Nhơn, Quảng Ngãi, and Tam Kỳ, and ended in Hội An (described by Clarkson as "Vietnam's Saville Row"). During this stay they purchased bespoke new clothes, and Clarkson enjoyed a short break from his various problems in a hotel. Hammond and May spent the day driving their bikes on the beach. Whilst on the beach, Hammond received a very moving talk from a local who had fought in the Vietnam War. The deaf-mute veteran explained to Richard how he had fought on the beach, explaining his thoughts by writing on the sand in English. It concluded with him writing the word "B52," indicating that the beach had been bombed, and then the word "Deaf." Hammond left him by saying "This beach, yours. I'll go".
That night, Hammond spent his time repairing his bike after it had been partially submerged in sea water while Clarkson teased him by reciting the lyrics of "Born in the U.S.A."
In the morning, they continued their journey to Huế through the Hải Vân Mountain Pass, which Clarkson praised as "...a deserted ribbon of perfection — one of the best coast roads in the world," before complaining that "someone has written PENIS on my helmet" to which Hammond replied "I did that." Beforehand, Hammond and Clarkson stopped at a marble sculptor to procure a gift for May: a small but heavy statue of a ballet dancer, later called "Darcey". Mid-way through the pass, Hammond and May presented Clarkson with a bulky painting. Hammond damaged his model galleon twice during the journey: firstly by clipping one side of the ship against some roadside wheelie-bins (causing his mast to collapse) and later by clipping and knocking over a sign placed at a toll-booth.
In Huế, Clarkson and May convinced several staff at a local restaurant to vandalise Hammond's Minsk by spray-painting it bright pink, while Hammond repaired his model ship (which was damaged during the journey) in the hotel's business centre. However he damaged it again almost immediately; standing up with the model, the mast got caught in the ceiling fan, breaking it once again.
The next day, they entered North Vietnam through Đông Hà, where they spent the morning completing the challenge of securing driver's licences. This entailed sitting through a theory lesson in a classroom. All three presenters were asked to stand up and answer a question. May made hand gestures, Hammond then made an arbitrary comment about turning vehicles giving way (in English), while Clarkson made a statement in Vietnamese that was deemed correct. He then explained to the other presenters that the teacher asked him "what is the minimum required age to obtain a motorcycle license", which he correctly answered with "18", and that "If they hadn't learned Vietnamese when they knew they were coming to Vietnam, that was their problem". They then proceeded to a practical riding test, attempting to navigate a course marked out by paint on the ground. Hammond and May passed, while Clarkson repeatedly failed, unable to stay within the painted guidelines. They concluded the challenge by reasoning that, as Clarkson had passed the theory and the other two had passed the practical, Top Gear had collectively passed the test. At the end of the challenge Clarkson damaged May's 'gift' by forgetting to lower the stand on May's bike and dropping it (a running gag throughout the show, although you can see that "Darcey" is not on the bike when Clarkson is sitting on it, or while he's getting off, the camera cuts to the 'gift' smashing on the floor).
After visiting the bullet-torn Citadel of Huế (one of the major battlefields during the Tet Offensive of 1968), Clarkson reasoned that the trio could not make it to their final destination in the allotted time. They therefore decided to "cheat" by boarding an overnight train to Hạ Long, a 13-hour journey which bypassed Vinh, Thanh Hóa and Nam Định. To kill time in the train each presenter tried to "fix" the damage accumulated by the other's gift: Hammond tried to refurbish Clarkson's ripped painting by adding a Land Rover; Clarkson tried to super-glue May's shattered sculpture back together; and May transformed Hammond's galleon into a Chinese junk. Upon disembarking, the trio discovered that they had boarded the wrong train and had arrived in Hanoi (Hà Nội), 79.49 mi (127.93 km) to the west of their intended destination.
During the final push to Hạ Long, Clarkson fell off his Vespa, breaking 2 ribs and badly scraping his right arm and elbow. He finally concluded of two-wheel motoring, "I've always said to my children that if they buy a bike, I will burn it, and if they replace it with another one, I shall burn that too. Now, however, if they buy a bike I will completely understand — and then I'll burn it."
By dusk, the exhausted trio had arrived at the wharf in Hạ Long, only to be given one final challenge: to navigate the maze of 1,969 limestone islets in Hạ Long Bay and get to Ba Hàng Bar, located in a cove somewhere in the waters, by converting their motorcycles into watercraft overnight. Upon setting off the next morning, May's craft nearly sank early on and was towed back to shore for repairs. Meanwhile, Hammond and Clarkson got lost and found themselves stuck in the mouth of a cave. Eventually, Clarkson reached their destination first, Hammond second (after his steering had failed), and May later joined them by swimming from where his "bike-ski" had disintegrated and started to sink for the second time. In the film's conclusion, Clarkson summed up their adventure and ended with, "It's hard to sum it up really. Perhaps that's why people when they get back from this country always say the same thing, Vietnam: You don't know, man! You weren't there!"

Edited by Alfred Beyond The Pines
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Usher: Love In This Club


Director: Dan Cutforth, Jane Lipsitz

Composer: Deborah Lurie, Usher

Genre: Concert Documentary

Date: September 1

Studio: 906 Studios

Format: 3D digital film

Budget: $12 million

Theaters: 3,052

MPAA Rating: PG for some language

Runtime: 100 min



Usher as Himself


Plot: A look at the life of famous R&B pop singer Usher Raymond (known by his stage name as Usher). The film features his personal life, recording sessions, and snippets of his OMG and Euphoria tours.

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The Vast Dark: Shadows of the Past

Genre: Horror/Thriller
Budget: 35m
Release Date: October 27-29

Suido: Guernica Studios 
Rating: R
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Running Time: 106 minutes
Theater Count: 3366


Dale - Edward Norton

Young Dale - Thomas Dekker
Kenneth Welsh - Tobin Bell
Carl - Bill Paxton

Harry - Tom Hardy
Hank - Patrick Wilson
Robertson - Zachary Quinto



We're in the room where Welsh (God - Bell) brutally kills Hank (FBI Agent – Wilson). Dale (Devil - Norton) is teared up and fighting with his emotions.  Robertson's (Psycho Angel - Quinto) dead body is also lying on the floor. Welsh’s words echoing in Dale’s head: "One can't live in two worlds. One has to choose."

A tense music fades in, which gets louder and louder during the upcoming montage. We’re zooming on Dale, who’s mind is full of different emotions, we see a good ten minute summary of the past five Vast Dark films. All the killings, twist and characters appear in frequently changing colours and plenty of split screen images, we get a Saw finale type of revealing in 24 style.

When the montage is over, Dale stands up and wipes his tears. Welsh is standing by the door, his right leg is out in the street. He smiles at Dale and warns him that this is his last chance of joining him and be partners like they used to. He flings the door open and walks out. Dale jumps forward catches the door before it shuts and looks out. He needs to make the decision. Welsh shouts something back at him while walking away. “There is no good life. Choose between horrible and miserable” (an Annie Hall reference).

We zoom in at Dale. The music peaks and title fades in:




(the story therefore will be told in past tense)

A horse appeared on the screen and we see a young Dale (Thomas Dekker). We discovered his teenager years. Relationship with parents, first girlfriend, trouble with friends, drinking nights, etc. For a good half an hour we forgot that it is a Vast Dark movie, it’s more of a coming of age study that got dark. Because it got dark.

There was no denying Dale loved the horses. The sights, the sounds, and the smells. Nothing beats the thrill of the pack thundering around the last turn as they enter the home stretch. Or the excitement of holding a winning ticket. Unfortunately for Tom, he had no idea how to pick a winner. He always bet on the long shot, firm in his belief that this time he had just chosen a winner.
Bookies loved him. He was their paycheck. So it was no surprise that he’d racked up an impressive amount of debt, turning him into a thief to survive and bringing him to this warehouse to settle up.
Dale glanced at the white box on the seat beside him. Stealing it had not been easy; it went against everything he had been taught while growing up. But once he’d made up his mind and come to terms with it, the actual act had gone off more smoothly than he’d expected
His chances of ever seeing fourteen grand at one time were zilch. Maybe in ten years, but certainly not by midnight tonight. Not unless he called his dad.
He'd gotten himself into this mess and he'd get himself out. The days of blaming others for his mistakes were behind him. It was time he grew up and took responsibility for his actions. That included his gambling debt.
His gaze turned to the blank wall of the warehouse as a chill crept along the base of his spine. Beneath a bare bulb, the only point of light in the darkness, a man-sized door interrupted the seamless emptiness of the wall.
The rain, which had begun falling earlier in the day, dampened his hair as he got out of his car. He turned up the collar of his jacket as a chill caressed the back of his neck.
It's gonna snow.
The thought jarred him with its familiarity. His father would say that as he looked into the overcast sky when it was cold. The memory awakened a longing and he gazed up at the dark sky. Trying, in a sense, to achieve an equal footing with the man he used to call dad.
“You gonna stand out in the rain all night.” The voice startled him, breaking the spell, and he saw that the door was now standing open. Framed by the light from inside stood the silhouette of a small man. It was probably Carl (Bill Paxton). Carl the Knife, he called himself, and according to the rumors Dale had heard the name fit.
Where’s Harry? he wondered.
“Well, what are ya waiting on, an engraved invitation.”
Dale reached into the car as revulsion washed over him. The surface of the box filled him with distaste as he lifted it from its resting place. It was colder than anything he'd handled before. As if it carried the memory of the place it had been found.
He knew it had come from Antarctica. Had heard rumors about something happening at the research facility down there, but nothing had been confirmed. At least not to him. After all, he was just a first year intern.
Who would confide in him about matters such as those?
Everybody he dealt with was more concerned with seeing him get out of their way. He was a nonentity in the professor’s research lab, so stealing the box had been a piece of cake. After all, nobody paid attention to him.
He'd be happy to get rid of it, though. Just being close to it was enough to give him the willies. On the ride over he had felt it. Something had reached out to him. Something ancient that awakened an overwhelming sense of dread. Someone might say it was a bad case of nerves after all he’d been through over the past twelve hours. But Dale knew better. It was the box and what it contained.
Let Carl have it if that was what he wanted. He was more than welcome to it. But as Dale approached the opened door, doubts surfaced.
What if they had lied to him?
After all, they couldn't have him running around telling anybody who would listen that he had stolen a priceless artifact to pay off his gambling debts.
“It's about time, Dale boy, we was beginning to think we was gonna have to come after you.” The voice carried a hint of disappointment that Dale didn't fail to notice.
What if I never leave the warehouse alive? He tried to push the doubts away, but failed, and they continued to nag him like a small dog nipping at his heels.
Hesitantly he approached the door, then stopped.
“Where's Harry?” he asked.
“He's around,” Carl smiled, heightening the rat-like appearance of his face. He stepped back as Dale entered.
Dale glanced again at the dark sky as he entered the building and was seized by the certainty it would be the last time.
Don't be ridiculous, he chided himself. Everything was going according to plan. What could possibly screw it up now?
Behind Carl, vanishing into the hazy distance of the warehouse, rows of crates were stacked to the ceiling. To the right, just inside the door, was a well lit office.
Through the open office door, the massive bulk of Harry the Bull (Tom Hardy) stepped into the warehouse. He was the other half of this odd couple, his head swiveling on his neck like the turret of a tank. His cruel green eyes taking in everything before settling on Dale, who shivered under his uncompromising stare.
Dale was happy he'd chosen to steal the knife. Even if he was caught, jail was preferable to what Harry would do to him had he picked his only remaining alternative. He held the box out to Carl, who took it from him with a sly smile. A look of disappointment fluttered across Harry's features and Dale allowed himself to relax.
Not tonight. I'm smarter than that, Dale thought. Harry would have to find someone else to fulfill his sadistic needs.
Carl gazed at the box, his eyes glazing over as he fumbled with the hasp.
“Maybe you shouldn't ought to do that, Carl.” Harry looked over Carl's shoulder at the box. “You know, they might get mad.”
Dale backed towards the door behind him. They had what they wanted; maybe they would forget about him now.
“Hey! Where're you going?” Harry's cold gaze locked onto him and Dale 's knees went weak as his bowels loosened. They had lied.
“You got what you wanted.” Dale pointed at the box. “I can leave now, right?” He could sense the darkness behind him. A yawning pit of emptiness. All he had to do was turn around and run. By the time they got to the door he'd be long gone.
But my car?
Forget the damned car.
A look of indecision crossed Harry's face.
“Don't be in such a big rush, Dale boy, it's not polite. Come in, sit for a while.” Carl waved to the lighted office. “We can be friends now that our business is finished.” Carl's gaze returned to the opened box.
They weren't going to let him leave. They were afraid he'd tell the police.
“That's all right, really, I should be going.” Dale could sense the freedom behind him, so close, yet so far away.
“Harry, show our new friend to the office.” Carl reached into the box as a look of joy filled his narrow features. He reminded Dale of a small child on Christmas morning, rushing downstairs in the pre-dawn light to find the floor beneath the tree filled with brightly colored packages.
“I don't think you should be doing that, Carl.” Harry glanced away from Dale and watched Carl with a concerned expression so out of place on his cruel face.
Carl removed a slender dagger from inside the box with a look of joy on his face.
Released from Harry's gaze, Dale slowly backed towards the door behind him. Just a few more feet and he'd be free.
From the back of the warehouse came the pop of a light bulb exploding, followed by the muted tinkle of glass striking the floor. Dale stopped backing away and looked towards that darkened section as several more light bulbs exploded. He could sense movement. A sinuous shadow of emptiness that bled through the dark.
An icy hand of fear wrapped itself about him. He wanted to flee, to run from the sight of this apparition. Yet a strange fascination held him in place.
“Who's back there?” Harry called out, as he turned from Dale and walked towards the darkness.
More bulbs exploded and from that strange emptiness came the sound of someone, or something, breathing softly.
An entire row of lights shattered and showered the floor with glass fragments that glittered like stars in the dim light.
Harry vanished into the shadows, his figure swallowed by an ebony cloud, leaving only the sound of his footsteps over the broken glass to mark his location.
His eyes alight with a feverish glow, Carl held the knife in front of his face. The blade measured a full twelve inches long and was as black as the night itself.
“So beautiful,” Carl whispered
Carl raised the knife over his head. He looked up at the ceiling as his expression changed from ecstasy to agony
“What the – “ His words vanished, swallowed by the billowing darkness that gathered behind him. His mouth worked silently as his eyes bulged out. His body trembled and he staggered forward on wobbly legs as a cry of terror spilled from his mouth.
Dale wanted to vanish into the night. To flee from the cloud of darkness growing before him. Yet he stood rooted in place, immobile, unable to tear his gaze from that churning cloud of emptiness behind Carl's trembling figure.
Carl stared at him, his eyes agonized pools of emptiness that bored into Dale’s soul.
The box fell from Carl's hand and shattered against the concrete floor. He pointed the knife at Dale. His face a mask of concentration as he struggled to speak. What came out of his mouth instead was a confused string of grunts and groans as his tongue danced behind his teeth.
Dale held out his hands as he backed away from Carl's approach.
A scream of agony came from the darkness at the back of the warehouse. It was followed by the pounding footsteps of someone running.
Please let it be Harry, Dale prayed silently as he watched the billowing cloud of emptiness spewing from the back of the warehouse.
Don't let it be anything else.
With a wide smile on his face, Carl swiveled his head around to an impossible angle and watched the things approach.
Harry emerged from the emptiness. Face white. Eyes wide with pain and terror. He turned his head to look back over his shoulder, or what was left of his shoulder. Dark red blood, almost black, squirted from the torn stump where his shoulder should have been.
Light bulbs exploded in his wake, chasing him across the warehouse as a line of darkness nipped at his heels. In that leading edge of shadows, Dale saw ebony shapes that twisted and turned, fading in and out of focus, slithering over and around one another, as they pursued Harry. Nightmare images that solidified briefly before dissolving into the emptiness.
Shadowy claws moved with a sinuous ease as they reached from the emptiness, yearning to capture Harry's fleeing figure. Blood-red eyes glowed like distant stars surrounded by the vast emptiness of deepest space. Emanating from that endless abyss, Dale felt an ancient longing, a primitive desire that reached out and cloaked him in its embrace. He knew then that even if he was able to, he would be unable to flee. He was going to die tonight and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it. His premonition was going to come true. He would never see the night sky again.
“Help!” Harry screamed.
From the back of the warehouse a cold blast of chilled air washed over Dale 's immobile figure. The air around him became charged with static electricity, making his hair stand on end and filling his mouth with a metallic taste. The wind pushed him towards the door as the lights exploded above him. Glass fell to the floor silently. The walls of the office imploded without a sound. Glass shattered, wood splintered. Yet all he could hear was the shrill voice of the screaming wind as it blew from beyond the realm of his understanding, turning his blood to ice water in his veins.
Harry ran by, his face drawn, white, mouth pinched into a tight grimace of terror. He raced into the night, screaming, and by the light from above the door, Dale saw Harry fall into a puddle of water in the vast emptiness of night between the two warehouses.
Carl dropped to his knees as the darkness reached out from the depths of the warehouse. Voluminous black clouds swirled about his figure. Dale saw small pinpricks of light hidden within the cloud. From his childhood came the chanting whisper for wishes unfulfilled.
Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. The voice faded and he became aware of the silence around him. Even the wind had been stilled. It was as silent as a tomb. Like the pause before an approaching storm.
Carl wove back and forth on his knees, moving to the beat of an unheard drum as he held the knife above his head. From the center of the cloud a bolt of lightning arced out to caress the tip of the blade.
Carl screamed as his body danced crazily. He was lifted to his feet. His hair standing on end. His arms stretched above his head as if they were being pulled by an unseen force. He screamed again, this time with a sound that made Dale 's heart skip several beats.
The lightning vanished and left its imprint on Dale 's retinas. Carl turned to face him and he saw the light of insanity burning in his fevered gaze.
“They're coming,” Carl whispered as he staggered towards him, arms outstretched, the knife hanging from one limp hand. “The gods have returned from their ageless sleep,” he laughed with a sound that sent ice cubes of terror tumbling down Dale 's spine. “They're coming and they want their world back.”
Carl glanced at the silent cloud behind him, then fled from the warehouse with a cry of terror as ebony tendrils snaked out to chase him into the night.
Alone now, Dale watched as the cloud moved towards him. With Carl gone, his own terror fled and he viewed the churning cloud with detached curiosity. Within its vast emptiness, stars glittered with a hard light, galaxies rotated slowly and an occasional comet streaked across its ebony face.
The cloud moved closer, enveloping him in its embrace as the cold wind of a vast emptiness whistled past his ear.
He could sense that intelligence. Could feel its detachment, its loneliness, a cold emptiness that wrapped itself about him like a dog seeking warmth. It was not from the cloud, but of the cloud. Its thoughts comprised of that endless stretch of nothingness that reached beyond forever.
It was the face of God/Welsh.
He heard a whispering voice, sweetly sinister. Awakening primal fears that pulsed through him. The voice was familiar. It belonged to the thing that had hidden beneath childhood bed. It was the monster in his closet, ready to leap out and devour him when the lights went out. It was the dark itself that blanketed him as he slept, slowly twisting his dreams of happiness into nightmares of despair.
“Are you the one?” Welsh asked.
This voice, this entity, had been here long before man had even looked to the heavens in search of a god. It was the reason man had searched in the first place, as an alternative to the terror of its all-encompassing embrace.
“Are you the chosen?”
He could sense he was he being viewed. Poked and prodded like a lab rat. Examined closely by this mysterious presence.
“Are you the chosen one?” Welsh asked again, and all Dale could do in reply was tremble.
“Are you the one?”
Dale knew that he had been judged and found inadequate. He, alone, stood in the path of this approaching nightmare.

Carl glanced back at the warehouse, eyes alight with the feverish glow of insanity. He blinked as the sound of something striking the wall filled the night with a loud bang.
“They're coming,” he whispered.
The knife dropped from his fingers and vanished beneath the rain-dimpled surface of the puddle at his feet. Welsh and Robertson appeared in the distance as snowflakes drifted down from the overcast night sky.

We cut back to present time. We see Dale’s miserable face and we fade to back. We hear him whispering ”I choose miserable” and the door shuts. But we won’t see whether it’s been shut from the inside or the outside. We only see darkness.

Edited by Alfred Beyond The Pines
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