Xillix' Unreasonably Critical Reviews, Y3

[Ezen Baklattan]

Yeah, LGE needed more attention than I gave it. Kinda just dumped it while changing it, foolishly not going back to look at it again. Oops.

[Ethan Hunt]

Oooof

[YM!]

4 hours ago, Xillix said:

 

Don't Let the Pigeon Drive

"If they lost all the food in the lake, how, in the next scene, do they have enough food for everyone? What was the point of the whole heist? That and a few other continuity or logic issues aside, though, this is a sweet, sometimes funny, always interesting family film with a good, if overdone, message, and a handful of memorable scenes."

Did you like the animation style?

[Xillix]

16 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

Did you like the animation style?

I mean there's nothing to actually see and I'm not familiar with the books, so I have no idea  

[Hiccup23]

Good review for the Chrysalids!

 

Sad for Bartimaeus  But at least it wasn't a total pan. I am 100% confident the sequel will earn better reviews. 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Le Grand Ecran should be a companion piece to Peter and the Starcatcher, both movies had the same editor.

[Xillix]

DECEMBER ONCE AGAIN (MEMORIES WILL NEVER FAAAAAAAAAAAAADE)

 

Desolate Sea

"A party boat hits an iceberg... off the coast of Barbados. Yeah. It tries to take itself seriously, but it opens with that, so I don't think I need to say much else."

 

The Prince of Egypt

"It's an excellent adaptation of the source material, wonderfully executed, emotional, very well-performed. Technically it's just about faultless. I must confess, though, that I'm simply not a huge fan of the original story (and yes that traces back millenia). Scoring this is tricky because there aren't that many things I can say are really outright, objectively problematic in the execution. I do think the whole thing is pretty unnecessary given the existence of the widely-acclaimed animated version, and, as much as I appreciate the way it's touched upon as-is, I would have liked a bit more of a struggle with Moses coming to terms with the atrocities of the plagues. So I will fully admit that my score is lower than it would be, perhaps should be, if I were taking my personal feelings on the source out of the equation - but I feel like that'd be dishonest of me."

 

The Number One Dime

"It's unquestionably well-made, but it's terribly overlong, over-plotted, and probably a fair bit too dark for most of its target audience. The levels of darkness it sometimes reaches clash pretty badly with the series' general aesthetic. It's a film that's well-written and well-executed but, for me, suffers badly at the concept stage. Some people will absolutely love it and they won't be wrong or anything. I just have trouble getting past the tonal clash and the overstuffed feeling."

 

Wolves of the Deep

"Confining Liam Neeson to a tight submarine without a handgun seems like a dubious choice, but this is still a pretty exciting and, sometimes, surprisingly tense war-thriller with just enough cheese to make it a fun sit."

 

Bro Time

"It's Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters without any of the wit, charm, or memorable characters, relying instead on R-rated shock humor. In other words, total garbage suited only for stoners and drunks who won't remember most of it afterwards."

 

Garden of Eden

"Better than it has any right to be, this thriller may not be strikingly original or shocking, but it is tense and effective, with an interesting if somewhat cursory look into the psyche of its protagonist."

 

That Was a Long Time Ago

"A shockingly unfunny rom-com that has a decent enough underlying story that it might have made a pretty good movie had it been taken more seriously."

[YM!]

2 minutes ago, Xillix said:

The Number One Dime

"It's unquestionably well-made, but it's terribly overlong, over-plotted, and probably a fair bit too dark for most of its target audience. The levels of darkness it sometimes reaches clash pretty badly with the series' general aesthetic. It's a film that's well-written and well-executed but, for me, suffers badly at the concept stage. Some people will absolutely love it and they won't be wrong or anything. I just have trouble getting past the tonal clash and the overstuffed feeling."

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Thanks for the good review for POE and GOE! (The acronyms were quite unintentional I admit)

 

Hopefully things look up for @cookie with your TSW review.

 

[Rorschach]

1 minute ago, Xillix said:

DECEMBER ONCE AGAIN (MEMORIES WILL NEVER FAAAAAAAAAAAAADE)

 

 

The Number One Dime

"It's unquestionably well-made, but it's terribly overlong, over-plotted, and probably a fair bit too dark for most of its target audience. The levels of darkness it sometimes reaches clash pretty badly with the series' general aesthetic. It's a film that's well-written and well-executed but, for me, suffers badly at the concept stage. Some people will absolutely love it and they won't be wrong or anything. I just have trouble getting past the tonal clash and the overstuffed feeling."

 

 

So if Adventures of Scrooge McDuck was Raiders of the Lost Ark, would Number One Dime be Temple of Doom? 

[YM!]

@Xillix was right about the title, and tore into the films this year. In fact do we have a film from him at or over 5 stars.

[Xillix]

Just now, YourMother the Edgelord said:

@Xillix was right about the title, and tore into the films this year. In fact do we have a film from him at or over 5 stars.

Notes from the Otherspace was my first 5-star score in the game.

[Rorschach]

Just now, YourMother the Edgelord said:

@Xillix was right about the title, and tore into the films this year. In fact do we have a film from him at or over 5 stars.

Notes from the Otherspace is the only one. Odyssey 2 would be second at 4 and a half.

[cookie]

You better do CGI Shuri good or else

[YM!]

Just now, Rorschach said:

Notes from the Otherspace is the only one. Odyssey 2 would be second at 4 and a half.

Any other 4 stars? Or 4.5 stars?

[Xillix]

Just now, YourMother the Edgelord said:

Any other 4 stars? Or 4.5 stars?

My Peoples and Spark: Homeward both got 4.

 

And I haven't read The Scavenger Wars yet.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Because I like playing detective more than my film characters...

 

5/5

Notes from the Otherspace

 

4.5/5

The Odyssey: Counsel of the Dead

 

4/5

My Peoples

Spark: Homeward

 

3.5/5

Student Film

Ripper

The Chrysallids

Don't Let The Pidgeon Drive

The Prince of Egypt

Garden of Eden

 

That's ten films with a positive rating. Taking into account any films Xillix made, (I imagine Cataclysmic would be high on the list) and The Scavenger wars, I think the top 10 will still have a lot of 3.5/5 films.

[4815162342]

Randy Macho Man Savage over here

[Xillix]

21 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said:

That's ten films with a positive rating. Taking into account any films Xillix made, (I imagine Cataclysmic would be high on the list) and The Scavenger wars, I think the top 10 will still have a lot of 3.5/5 films.

TBH In my rankings and stuff 3 stars means "yeah I pretty much liked it." 2.5 is "meeeeeh" and anything two or lower is actual dislike.

[Xillix]

The Scavenger Wars

"A huge amount of effort has been expended on the creation of this sci-fi epic, and it's unquestionably well-made. The performances are generally pretty good, undercut in a few cases by questionable dialogue. It's rousing spectacle and big-budget blockbuster entertainment, but the emotional aspects of the story feel shallower than they should, the inter-species romance at the film's core feeling especially underdeveloped and insincere. The characters aren't quite two-dimensional, but they lack a certain 'spark' - pun intended - that gives competing franchises such vitality. The plot is fine, solidly constructed and thankfully comprehensible, but also highly derivative. It's a really solid summer blockbuster, no question about it. It just feels like it should have been something more."