Cookie Does Requests or Whatever (Cookie's Corner Y6) - Unlike Garfield, this thread doesn't hate Mondays

[cookie]

1 minute ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

How does it compare to my other animation.

First 60% was up there with Gateways, maybe even better than it.

 

Last 40% was kinda GameVerse level.

[YM!]

5 minutes ago, cookie said:

First 60% was up there with Gateways, maybe even better than it.

 

Last 40% was kinda GameVerse level.

Did you at least like it?

[cookie]

3 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

Did you at least like it?

If it was its own movie instead of a tacked on second second act, I'd probably appreciate it more.

[SLAM!]

4 hours ago, cookie said:

Oh yeah, I was supposed to review stuff.

 

The Feminist

 

One day, God was very bored, so he decided to rip a hole in the space time continuum and merge Pureflix and Feminist Frequency together so that they would create a singular contraption of contradiction: Pureminist Flixquency. God then dropped a story treatment for an adaptation of the Book of Judges at their feet, commanding them to make the most generic but oddly gory and weirdly short version of it they possibly could.

 

Pureminist Flixquency then wrote a screenplay and, at the behest of God, borrowed a bucket of leftover blood each from the sets of Odyssey: Homecoming, The Scavenger Wars Part II and The Epsilon Syndicate. The three buckets were offered as a gift to the executives of New Journey Pictures, busy picking their teeth with Daniel Henney's Oscar statuette. who greenlit the movie for thy be God's will.

 

God, pleased with this random task being fulfilled, rewarded his studio followers with a lone badass nail and hammer scene onto the script, then commanded them to make the movie. Thus, The Feminist, a 76-minute blood and gore fest with a girl power message tacked on at the end, was conceived.

 

C+

 

Well, I'm sort of late to the punch responding to this, but I thought this was a really funny review! There's always that one film of mine that I go in thinking it's gonna be something really great but ends up being middling. Last year, it was Wii Sports. It sounds like you thought it was kind of generic... That makes sense because of how much I wanted to adhere strictly to the source material. And I thought the ending was powerful but I can see why it would seem unexpected. You win some, you lose some...

[cookie]

Today will be everything up until Thirsty. That means we could possibly finish the whole list tomorrow.

[cookie]

The Neon Psalms

 

...Huh.

 

I honestly don't know what to make of this. I mean, the central conceit is fairly unique, even if it is a preaching to the choir type of story. I guess what throws me off is that the entire debate the film raises over whether or not a human soul exists doesn't reach its conclusion in a way that I buy it.

 

The entire end bit with the Hounds in particular doesn't do anything to advance Josephine's journey or the human soul debate, since the trip-up doesn't involve locating a soul behind Maya's re-programming, but rather an answer to a religious trivia question the Hounds didn't think to program in. It's a whole third act that according to the movie strengthens Josephine's beliefs, but I don't see any moment it would've actually changed anything either way.

 

Like I said, it's an interesting conceit, but the movie kinda assumes its conclusions are already earned by the time it starts and doesn't do enough to argue for its case, so it feels kinda hollow in the end.

 

B-/C+

Edited September 27, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

Having read it last night, I'm very curious what you make of Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson.

[SLAM!]

1 hour ago, cookie said:

The Neon Psalms

 

...Huh.

 

I honestly don't know what to make of this. I mean, the central conceit is fairly unique, even if it is a preaching to the choir type of story. I guess what throws me off is that the entire debate the film raises over whether or not a human soul exists doesn't reach its conclusion in a way that I buy it.

 

The entire end bit with the Hounds in particular doesn't do anything to advance Josephine's journey or the human soul debate, since the trip-up doesn't involve locating a soul behind Maya's re-programming, but rather an answer to a religious trivia question the Hounds didn't think to program in. It's a whole third act that according to the movie strengthens Josephine's beliefs, but I don't see any moment it would've actually changed anything either way.

 

Like I said, it's an interesting conceit, but the movie kinda assumes its conclusions are already earned by the time it starts and doesn't do enough to argue for its case, so it feels kinda hollow in the end.

 

B-/C+

 

Shoot. I'll be honest, I was really thinking I had to change the third act somehow--take the part with the Hounds out entirely, use that time to develop the characters. I had the time to do that and didn't use it. I'm gonna regret not changing things when I had the chance.

 

I'm gonna take the criticism about the film assuming its conclusion to be already earned really far with me in my creative life.

 

But I'm really glad you enjoyed the film enough to give it a B-/C+.

[cookie]

43 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

Having read it last night, I'm very curious what you make of Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson.

I had to pause it since my parents briefly came to visit, but I'm up to the part where

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

Thomas the fucking Tank Engine

shows up and I've honestly had a ball of a time so far.

[Ezen Baklattan]

YESSSSS

 

ONE OF US

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Chuck Norris & Liam Neeson vs. the Current Hollywood Landscape

 

So are third act zombies just going to be a thing in comedy sequels? My trendsetter streak lives on.

 

There's the good kind of intentional dumb and there's the bad kind of intentional dumb. Jonny Jonny and its hell spawn of a followup is the bad kind. Chuck Norris & Liam Neeson vs. the Current Hollywood Landscape is the good kind. Only thing I wished it did was parody more than just Blankments Productions and Hourglass Pictures (outside of a swipe at the Duffer Brothers' overall success) considering the title.

 

But it was funny, so mission accomplished.

 

B+

 

 

Edited October 6, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

Fun fact: Michelle Haywood is an executive producer on the film.

[cookie]

Detective Pidge 2: The Quickening

 

Did I call the first movie really dumb? Sorry, I owe that one an apology. This nonsense takes the cake.

 

Taissa Farmiga deserves better than this.

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

As does the Blood and Fur universe.

 

And Owen Wilson is as scary as a loaf of bread.

 

D

[Ezen Baklattan]

If you couldn't tell it was written in under an hour.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Also I see that you downgraded the Sextet. 

[cookie]

2 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

If you couldn't tell it was written in under an hour.

At least that explains why nothing makes any sense.

[Ezen Baklattan]

1 minute ago, cookie said:

At least that explains why nothing makes any sense.

Basically I kept writing the plot and realizing that but was at a point where I was like, "This doesn't make any sense...but is it really worth the effort for trying to clarify it?"

Edited September 27, 2019 by Spaghetti

[Blankments]

Yeah, if I have a regret in the film, it's that it's fairly insular in who gets shout-outs in regards to this game, but with my rushed deadline + not wanting to make a Chuck and Liam movie ridiculously too long (10K is a lot of words for this). My hope is that one of the upcoming sequels will be able to include everyone more. I'm really really glad you dug it though!

[cookie]

1 hour ago, Spaghetti said:

Also I see that you downgraded the Sextet. 

Thinking about it the shorts weren't strong enough to overcome the weak bookend, so I did a slight downgrade. Sorry.

Edited September 27, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

30 minutes ago, cookie said:

Thinking about it the shorts weren't strong enough to overcome the weak bookend, so I did a slight downgrade. Sorry.

Given how it developed, it's kind of a miracle that the film got released at all. Not too heartbroken about it tbh.

 

But my hope for maybe getting a top 5 spot again dwindles even further. Pull it though, Allura.