Cookie Does Requests or Whatever (Cookie's Corner Y6) - Unlike Garfield, this thread doesn't hate Mondays

[cookie]

SURPRISE @Spaghetti

 

XJ9: Rebirth

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I'm always fascinated by the works of Gore Verbinski. Whether it'd be The Ring, the first three Pirates movies, The Lone Ranger or A Cure for Wellness... he's his own beast when it comes to major studio directors. His films, especially post the first Pirates, are often bloated, overcomplicated, overdesigned, tonally all over the map and takes the "everything and the kitchen sink" approach to their extreme.

 

If you asked me what the combined plot of Dead Man's Chest and At World's End was, I couldn't tell you, and I've seen both films multiple times. The Lone Ranger is the kind of studio insanity that has to be seen to be believed, and A Cure for Wellness is its own kind of gonzo.

 

Rango was pretty good tho.

 

How then does he translate a mid-2000s Nickelodeon cartoon to the silver screen?

 

Well, the fact that this is two and a half hours long for no reason should tip you off.

 

...Yeah, this was kinda all over the place. That doesn't mean it's automatically bad, but it was kinda hard to keep track of at times (didn't help that, honestly, the writing was pretty messy in spots. You really do need to check your work more often, Pasta) and while it managed to pull itself together as it got to its extended third act in an already extended movie, I don't know if everything hangs together in the end as much as it thinks it does.

 

(Spoilers below)

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I thought the way the twist surrounding Nora was revealed was kinda confusing since she randomly pops up, effectively depleting all mystery, during an unrelated action scene. It would've honestly been better if we first saw her when it was revealed she was working for the bad guys, since that could've left the mystery of her whereabouts running a little while longer, and maybe instead we could've had more scenes of Jenny reminiscing her so the reveal her mother wasn't who she thought she was would sting all that much more.

 

The movie does a fair job of introducing people unfamiliar with the source material (like me) to this sequel timeline, and the themes of nostalgia and how we shouldn't let ourselves get stuck in it are handled fairly competently, even if the movie maybe divulges in too many callbacks of its own for that message to ring as true as the movie wants it to. I agree with @Rorschach that Coran was kinda wasted as a villain, being the bland one-note businessman type that just wants money and power without much depth behind him. Pugh is pretty good as a foil against Jenny though

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even if I thought the way she just gave up in the climax was kinda odd, but that could be a result of the messy writing

and Pilar was... I honestly had trouble figuring out what her allegiance was half the time, but she's okay too.

 

I haven't even talked about Jenny herself yet, and to give credit to Natalia Dyer, she sells the role pretty well. It's no star-making turn like Telemachus or Kozar were for her Stranger Things co-stars (and I hope blue tunic boi will be for my Stevey), but with more development down the line, I'm sure she can make the role more of her own. I wasn't entirely sold on the relationship between her and Brad leaving off on a platonic note (which, for reasons that should be obvious, makes things a little awkward). It's one of the instances where the film taking place twenty years after the cartoon causes problems the movie's not able to fully solve, but I'll let it slide for now.

 

XJ-9 is an interesting beast of a movie. It is going to appeal to both younger and older audiences, even if its bloated structure and occasionally dark moments may be a little much for the younger side of the equation, but viewers looking for a fun escape and a batch of nostalgia (while simultaneously criticizing it, not always to the fullest effect) should get more than their fill. I just hope the sequel has a clearer structure and a more focused intent behind it.

 

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Especially if it's going to be a factor in Operation Bexivenge. Better do them good @Spaghetti

 

B/B-

 

Edited October 4, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

I can accept that. Glad you liked it overall, though!

 

Will admit that proofing films has been kind of a weak spot for me and something I'm trying to improve on for Y7.

 

I also agree with your points on Nora. She might have been the biggest missed opportunity in the movie for me, and you could probably tell I rushed to get it done so that the Holidays in Y6 could have a tentpole. A lot of the other issues were development I fully admit were me not doing enough to clarify things and not trying to correct ideas.

 

Part of it was me worrying about making her arc too similar to Alex's parents in Spark Rising, but I definitely could have done more than what you all got.

 

Still, it's a bit like Epsilon Syndicate in how the first one sets up a lot of the world in the context of a kind of basic story, while the sequels get to delve into a bit more fun territory.

 

XJ9 2 will lean much more into the cosmic aspect of Cluster Prime while also showing a terror grow with Skyway Patrol.

 

Thanks for the review!

 

As per DeCiM, her demise was basically her shutting down at the inability to handle her emotions. Could have been better handled, but this was the angle I was going for. This moment us actually going to slightly set the stage for Nora and Jenny's relationship in the sequel, but that's all I'm gonna say for now.

 

This was a bit of a rush job, but definitely expect a lot more effort in the sequel.

 

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Also per Coran:

 

The very ending of his arc kind of subverts the greedy businessman angle by showing him as an agent of Vexus, but again, I could have done more to weave that thread.

[cookie]

Bleach

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Now, this is an interesting CAYOM item just by the virtue of it existing: an open collaboration between two studios and two different writers coming together to create a somewhat episodic narrative based on a popular manga/anime series (none of which I have seen).

 

With Bleach positioning itself as a holiday alternative to Gateways, how does it fare as an individual narrative and as a comparison to previous anime adaptations in the industry, point of interest being not just last year's One Punch Man, but also this year's The Ancient Magus' Bride and the King of Cats?

 

...When I coined the term "pilot movie" I figured it was going to get a lot of use. Remember, I'm not using this term as a direct criticism, more as a point of observation. That said, the very episodic nature of the film is going to be an acquired taste for numerous reasons.

 

I think what it boils down to is that two of the five "episodes" are extraneous in the grand scheme of things: episode five is basically the movie having a climactic finale for the sake of having a climactic finale, introducing a hammy Timothée Chalamet in the film's last thirty minutes to deliver more worldbuilding and send a swarm of monsters for our heroes to fight. It's fine as a big final action scene, but I personally thought the movie could've ended after part four, given the emotional resolution that one had, and it wouldn't have made much of a difference.

 

It's at least better than episode three, which only exists to set up a comedy relief character who pops up during brief intervals in part four and then disappears from the movie (and is voiced by Paul Rudd, for confusing reasons). To have a whole fifth of the movie just to set that up is odd, and if anything you could've cut part three altogether and explain Kon's existence in a much more streamlined way.

 

As for the rest of it? Aside from some awkward dialogue and sometimes wonky worldbuilding... it's fine. If you're not already attached to the material (I'm going to assume this adapts either the first five chapters of the manga or the first five episodes of the show) you're probably gonna watch it, be moderately entertained and then forget about it the next day. Aside from some bits that could've been explained better, I never had trouble following it, and its action scenes are visually creative enough that they help balance things out.

 

I do hope if a follow-up gets made that it elects a more standard three-act structure so it feels more like traditional story and not a series of connected vignettes.

 

B-

 

I've added all my scores to the OP for people who don't want to scroll through the whole thread just to find my verdict.

Edited October 4, 2019 by cookie

[cookie]

Green Arrow

 

I honestly have very little to say about this. It's a competent enough origin story with more than a few decent action beats courtesy of Chad Stahelski. Should serve as a viable summer distraction, even if it won't have much of a lasting effect.

 

B/B-

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Last two bonus reviews will be later today (it's 6 AM here, so that statement is accurate), then on Sunday I will do one last surprise review. Stay tuned for that one.

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(This is not the Sunday surprise review, but after reading another critic's assessment I decided to skip ahead and do a second read of this to see if my opinion has changed after the suggested edits)

 

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Paradise Island

 

 

Thank you, Hugo Weaving, for summarizing the film for me. I also would've gone with Josh Brolin's "I am inevitable" as a personification of film's theme of the impending dread of change, but I didn't want to resort to overused memes for a serious review.

 

Paradise Island is, like I just alluded to, a story about inevitability and the impact of change. The major change in this film is a negative one: the inhabitants of a lone island out in the ocean have to abandon their home as a result of a worsening climate, but it's also about how some lives were bound to face difficult changes regardless of the planet's worsening conditions screwing them over or not. This is most exemplified in the collapse of the marriage between Tress and Noah, and how Tress, despite doing her best to make sure everyone she knows on the island get to cope with the evacuation to the best of their abilities, maybe sees the island's impending doom as a blessing in disguise, most personified by a journalist from the mainland looking to tell her story and perhaps holding the key to realizing her true ambitions.

 

But it's not a film without hope, and the final coda is that we don't have to face change alone, and even if everything's falling apart a strong sense of community may be more necessary than ever.

 

When I first saw the film in a preview screening before its final cut was assembled my takeaway was that, while its central theme is well handled, I did think a shorter period of time and the rearrangement of certain scenes would've helped make the sense of dread all that more... dread-y? I don't know what the word is for that. Plus minor fixes to make the story a bit more coherent.

 

Most of my issues have been addressed... some to a weaker effect than others, but they've been addressed.

 

The weaker aspect is the film's handling of Harper, a friend of Noah's who might be closer to him than it would first seem. While taking the homoerotic aspects of their camaraderie (something I only lightly pointed out in my original assessment, I honestly didn't expect @Spaghetti would address it as much) literal does give their relationship a little more depth, the end result is pretty melodramatic for an otherwise down to earth story. Maybe adding even more dimensions to Harper would've helped, but as it is it's an underdeveloped and somewhat hokey subplot.

 

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And I'll be honest, knowing Harper's fate in the original cut I was afraid it would be the same here, which would've been far more troubling. While the new version isn't great, it's better than how his character was handled in the original.

 

 

The film's other major alteration is shortening the timespan to just the last thirty days before the evacuation, which is a move for the better in my opinion. It strengthens the idea of the atmosphere becoming increasingly desperate, how the divides between people become larger and larger by the day, and how even the biggest denialists are soon forced to face what is right in front of them.

 

Paradise Island's greatest strength is capitalizing on the fear of what is inevitable, along with a layered performance from Tessa Thompson as someone who tries to do good with all of her heart but has dreams of her own that suggest she would've left the island on her own terms almost regardless, and the pressure that comes from when everyone expects everything from her. Much like Daniel Henney with last year's Yin, Damien Lewis' brilliant turn in Fortnight, Taissa Farmiga getting recurring roles in larger productions — some to better effect than others — and Jake T. Austin's breakout roles in Blue & Gold and Fiesta Loca, it's nice to know the former Voltron cast still have a bright future ahead of them. And yes, that makes me biased, but... I don't really care, so don't bother me, please.

 

Paradise Island is the strongest of Hourglass Productions' major offerings this year, even if some elements are a bit hokey but never to the point that they cripple the experience. I know I've been looking forward to all of them and more than one of them ended up disappointing, but I think @Spaghetti can rest assured that he has at least one winner in the crowd.

 

A-

 

 

Edited October 5, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

You really liked/somewhat loved Paradise Island?

 

AHP was your second favorite Spark?

 

Nothing else got a negative review? (Live2ream notwithstanding for obvious reasons)

 

You know what? I'll take it, @cookie. It's been a good year.

 

 

Edited October 5, 2019 by Spaghetti

[Ezen Baklattan]

Also per Harper:

 

 

Tangier Island, the IRL island that the film was based on, actually has a bit of a conservative, evangelical worldview based on a lot of the articles and docs I consulted on the film. I would have read a book more in depth but I wanted an Original Screenplay contender, damnit!

 

Anyways...

 

This is a thread that kinda got hampered due to me wanting to move on to finish other projects (to varying degrees of success) before the Y6 deadline, but I was interested in subtly developing Harper being in the closet because of the nature of his island, not even letting himself ultimately get too close to Noah for that reason. Only once he is truly getting divorced does he have a chance to admit his feelings, which almost seem reciprocated.

 

But it ends up causing him to run away to the mainland the next day, even as if there weren't any climate issue. By the end, there's some reconciliation and maybe light hope at a genuine connection.

 

Could have handled it in a bit more of a subtle manner (and given the director, I probably should have) but that's the process behind it.[/spoiler]

Edited October 5, 2019 by Spaghetti

[cookie]

10 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

Nothing else got a negative review? (Live2rean notwithstanding for obvious reasons)

I mean... I don’t often go below C unless it’s obvious trash or offends me on some level...

Edited October 5, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

1 minute ago, cookie said:

I mean... I don’t go below C unless it’s obvious trash or offends me on some level...

I mean in this case it's both.

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9 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

I mean in this case it's both.

On the scale of Pidge botches it's not worse than Jonny Jonny, but it ranks higher than the mess made of Starlit Highway and the Sp4rk recast.

Edited October 5, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

You liked Starlit!! Why u gotta keep retroactively downgrading my stuff?

 

You're breakin' my heart. 

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5 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

You liked Starlit!! Why u gotta keep retroactively downgrading my stuff?

 

You're breakin' my heart. 

You made a 7.5 out of what could’ve been a 9 or 10 😛

Edited October 5, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

2 minutes ago, cookie said:

You made a 7.5 out of what could’ve been a 9 or 10 😛

If you've read my fillers this year you're gonna find out that's a theme. 😭

[cookie]

Dropping short blurbs for the last two bonus films since I honestly don’t have much to say about either:

 

The Thin, the Phat and the Felon - A moderately entertaining return to a more modest venture for Edgar Wright after last year’s One Punch Man, but outside of some amusing gags and action scenes doesn’t use his talents to their full potential. B-

 

The Power of Love - A cute if very derivative superhero romantic comedy that holds up on the chemistry of its leads and some decent action beats. B-/C+

 

Might do more reviews before tomorrow’s surprise if I feel like it.

[Ezen Baklattan]

I will say...I'm VERY curious about your thoughts on CHILDREN OF EDEN.

[Ezen Baklattan]

FUN FACT: I get a notification every time @cookie edits OP of this thread.

[cookie]

May happen that Top 25 is as early as Monday, with the surprise review tomorrow being the last film I read at the current schedule.

[Ezen Baklattan]

26 minutes ago, cookie said:

May happen that Top 25 is as early as Monday, with the surprise review tomorrow being the last film I read at the current schedule.

And you said you weren't gonna read anything this year.