Ruk's Count Down 65 Movies from 2013 ('Yes, I'm actually going to finish this.' edition)

[rukaio101]

41. Warm Bodies

"This gets made, yet Warner Bros still won't greenlight my planned The Mummy/50 Shades of Grey crossover..."

 

Taking to heart Twilight's questionable message that 'walking corpses are just the smexiest' this film... wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sure, the romance is every dull YA romantic cliche, except with zombies and the skeleton things have awful CGI (how do those things move anyway?), but I liked some of the dark humour in it and Hoult was a surprisingly enjoyable lead.

 

Sure, it's still nothing particularly good, but it's nowhere near Twilight bad (although Breaking Dawn Part 2 was still absolutely hilarious).

[rukaio101]

40. Now You See Me

"This made how much money?!"

One of the surprise hits of last year, this star-studded spectacle was pretty decent. Nothing special. While I thought the cast was really pretty strong, especially Mark Ruffalo and Michael Caine, I don't think a lot of characters, especially the Four Horsemen and Morgan Freeman, got the attention or focus they really needed. Also, I was rather annoyed at how many of the tricks went unexplained, as if the filmmakers were saying 'it's magic, we don't need to explain it (or hypnosis which might as well have been magic).' As the sort of person who enjoys finding out how such tricks work, I'll admit I was left quite disappointed by it. 'The less you'll see' indeed.

[Ezen Baklattan]

I'm reading it. 

[rukaio101]

39. Lee Daniels' The Butler

"Whatever the Casting Director for this was smoking, I want some...."

 

The first of the three race related films I saw this year to appear on this list, I think what irritated me most about The Butler was just how little it was about the Butler. The film seemed so determined to focus on everything else, the presidents, his son, his wife, that the main character just felt... there. Admittedly, Forest Whitaker was fantastic in the role, but he's given so little to work with.

 

I think the best plot thread in the movie, by far, is the son's tale. He goes through notable and believable character development and really gets involved with a lot of the action, rather than being a passive bystander like the titular Butler (another problem, imo). Oprah's just kinda comes and goes and, for all the surreality of the casting for the presidents (seriously, Robin Williams? John Cusack? Alan Rickman as Reagan? What the hell were they thinking?), there's a notable lack of substance to their stories.

 

But, you know, it's still an enjoyable film. 

[rukaio101]

38. V/H/S 2

"Why couldn't they all just have been directed by Gareth Evans?"

Okay, I'll put it bluntly. The sole reason this film got ranked this high was for the segment 'Safe Haven'. This and 'The Raid' have firmly proven to me that Gareth Evans is definitely a director to watch for in the future.

 

That's not to say all the other segments were bad. They were either good enough to hold my attention or bad enough to be pretty funny (seriously, what was with that makeup for the guy hiding in the cupboard in the frame narrative). But it's Safe Haven that really makes this movie.

[rukaio101]

37. Prisoners

"Tawasal isn't going to like this...."

 

This had an interesting story, several actors I like really giving their all and some real heart-rending moments. So why did it score only one space ahead of fucking V/H/S 2. Because the movie was just so grey. And I don't mean that in a metaphorical sense. i mean, literally, the movie was really grey. This was a problem I had with, surprise surprise, Man of Steel as well. Making the colour scheme greyer doesn't make your movie darker or grittier or anything like that. It just makes things seem more boring. Conversations that would've otherwise held my attention seem more boring. And mixed with all the slow environment pans, it just got so boring after a while.

 

I admit, my hatred of literal greyness in movies may just be a pet peeve of mine, but it really gets on my nerves and without it, I think I would've enjoyed this more than I did.

 

Although, I will say the car bit at the end is one of my favourite scenes this year.

[Dark Jedi Master 007]

While your observation about the color scheme is interesting, I don't think it's anywhere close to the biggest problem in Prisoners (which I felt was it's unnecessary religious angle that didn't amount to any intellectual discussion on the subject). Also, changing color schemes is a film technique, and while we've seen enough to no longer be as impressed by it, I don't really see how it takes away from the movie. I mean a less grey color scheme really would've produced a film either equally dark or less dark, but certainly not more dark, imo. And while the convos may have bored you, there's no way to prove that the lack of excitement comes from the color scheme and not porly written dialogue. 

[4815162342]

Only 37?BOOOOOO

[The Panda]

Only 37?BOOOOOO

 

It's honestly placed about right.

[Phil in the Blank]

64. Man of Steel

"You know Clark, exposition exposition exposition, meaningless gibberish that sounds kinda deep in the trailer."

 

Blah Blah Blah.

 

[rukaio101]

 

Because as we all know, a cheap gif tops a logical, thought-out argument anyday.

 

Anyway, sorry about the long delays (although I did say I was pretty busy). I may do another few entries later today/tomorrow (I'm way too tired to do any now) and you can expect the schedule to speed up a lot once my holidays start in mid-April.

Edited March 13, 2014 by rukaio101

[Phil in the Blank]

Because as we all know, a cheap gif tops a logical, thought-out argument anyday.

 

 

Logical, thought-out argument is in the eye of the beholder, and my eye beholds nothing like that from that post I see an argument that needlessly deconstructs a movie far beyond what one would typically expect from a summer blockbuster. I also see an argument created while wearing the most negative goggles one could possibly fine.

 

The movie is not great, its not even good. But dude, you are taking it even more seriously than the film itself did.

Edited March 13, 2014 by Spottswoode

[rukaio101]

Logical, thought-out argument is in the eye of the beholder, and my eye beholds nothing like that from that post

Well, if your post is any indication of what you consider logical thought-out argument, that's not much of a surprise.

 

I see an argument that needlessly deconstructs a movie far beyond what one would typically expect from a summer blockbuster.

Okay, ignoring for the moment the fact that people should be allowed to deconstruct any film as much as they like, are you seriously telling me that me listing the movie's flaws and why pointing out why they are flaws somehow counts as too much deconstruction for a summer blockbuster?

 

The only reason the entry is so long is because, in my opinion, there's a huge number of major flaws to point out. (Hell, I ended up leaving out quite a few other problems I had with the movie) 

 

I also see an argument created while wearing the most negative goggles one could possibly fine.

Why Spottswoode, are you suggesting *gasp* that I may have disliked the movie?! What a shocker!!

 

Also, claiming I wrote my argument wearing 'the most negative goggles' doesn't make my points any less valid.

 

But dude, you are taking it even more seriously than the film itself did.

And this makes my points less valid how?

 

Seriously though, I will happily admit I rant and argue about Man of Steel a lot more than most. Why? Because I enjoy doing so. Simple as. It's highly cathartic to take that garbage apart piece by piece. I get more fun out of ripping it to shreds than I do watching the actual fucking movie. Everyone has those subjects for which they could happily write about for hours. The reasons MoS sucks is one of mine. And it's fine for you to disagree or try to argue with my points, but trying to discredit my arguments by saying 'I'm taking it too seriously' just makes you come off as an idiot who has no counter-arguments of his own and has to resort to mindlessly insulting people to make his point.

 

Compare DJM's post about Prisoners to yours. He makes some good arguments and pokes a few holes in mine with logical statements. If you disagree with my arguments that's the sort of post you should be making. Either that or, if you don't want to argue, simply say something like 'I disagree but I respect your opinion.' Don't come over here with some bullshit about me 'taking it too seriously' because it makes you look like an asshole.

 

Anyway, since it's kinda hard for me to feign exhaustion after that, the next entry will be up in a few minutes. 

[rukaio101]

36. 42

"<insert Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy jokes here>"

 

So is now a bad time to admit we don't really have Baseball here in England? The closest major sport we have is Cricket which surprisingly rarely gets Hollywood movies made about it. The closest we got is this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUyK_J_W4BI

Anyway, the point I'm trying to overly-longly make here is that much of the baseball stuff in this movie went over my head. That and I don't have much to say about this film so I'm desperately trying to pad this review. (It was this or a stream of Hitchhikers jokes)

 

The second of the three race related films I saw this year, I ended up enjoying this quite a bit. Harrison Ford was fantastic and, had this been a weaker year, would've really deserved a Best Supporting Oscar nom. But the film didn't really do too much to stand out in my eyes and I've forgotten a lot about it. I remember Alan Tudyk playing a racist though. That was weird. 

[Phil in the Blank]

Wow, who knew that a simple eye-rolling gif would cause such offence. 

 

Well, if your post is any indication of what you consider logical thought-out argument, that's not much of a surprise.

 

Woohoo! Go you! 5 points for Gryffindor! 

 

 

Okay, ignoring for the moment the fact that people should be allowed to deconstruct any film as much as they like, are you seriously telling me that me listing the movie's flaws and why pointing out why they are flaws somehow counts as too much deconstruction for a summer blockbuster?

 

The only reason the entry is so long is because, in my opinion, there's a huge number of major flaws to point out. (Hell, I ended up leaving out quite a few other problems I had with the movie) 

 

Woah Woah Woah, hold on there for a second mr strawman guy! I never said you, or anyone else couldn't deconstruct any film as much as you like. All I said was that it was needless. There are plenty of things I find people do that are needless but that doesn't mean I don't think they should be allowed to do them.

 

I'm saying that movies like MOS are not exactly high-art, nor did they make an impact on popular culture as a whole so the amount of time and effort to rail against the movie is needless IMO. If you want to rant against MOS be my guest, but I shall continue to roll my eyes at the thought that an otherwise forgettable film has caused such a reaction in some people.

 

 

Why Spottswoode, are you suggesting *gasp* that I may have disliked the movie?! What a shocker!!

 

Also, claiming I wrote my argument wearing 'the most negative goggles' doesn't make my points any less valid.

 

Let me give an example of what I mean. You compare the action of Batman Begins to the action of Man of Steel. Despite having similar styles of action you despise one while enjoy the other. And you justify this by giving an explanation as to why it suits batman but not superman. Fair enough, but you could have equally have said that given Superman is faster than a speeding bullet etc etc, that shaky cam is appropriate because it gives us a sense of how quick to the eye that he moves, that it is impossible for a human to keep up with his movements, blah blah blah.

 

I suspect the truth is that you enjoyed the action in BB because you were engaged with that movie, and you didn't enjoy the action of MOS because you were not engaged in that movie. But that's just a hunch. Regardless, my point is that there is a risk that if you hate a movie then there is a risk you are going to let that cloud your judgement over every single aspect of that movie. Even aspects where you would give a pass in a film that you enjoyed more. 

 

Ultimately your list, is your list and it can never be wrong. It's your feelings after all. Don't worry I'm not saying its not 'valid'.  What I am saying is that it is obvious to me that many of the reasons you give are not because they are 'bad' but because your hatred of this film makes them much bigger issues then they should be. And that is MY opinion and my opinion is just as valid as your opinion bud.

 

Seriously though, I will happily admit I rant and argue about Man of Steel a lot more than most. Why? Because I enjoy doing so. Simple as. It's highly cathartic to take that garbage apart piece by piece. I get more fun out of ripping it to shreds than I do watching the actual fucking movie. Everyone has those subjects for which they could happily write about for hours. The reasons MoS sucks is one of mine. And it's fine for you to disagree or try to argue with my points, but trying to discredit my arguments by saying 'I'm taking it too seriously' just makes you come off as an idiot who has no counter-arguments of his own and has to resort to mindlessly insulting people to make his point.

 

Compare DJM's post about Prisoners to yours. He makes some good arguments and pokes a few holes in mine with logical statements. If you disagree with my arguments that's the sort of post you should be making. Either that or, if you don't want to argue, simply say something like 'I disagree but I respect your opinion.' Don't come over here with some bullshit about me 'taking it too seriously' because it makes you look like an asshole.

 

 

I didn't see any need to post a decent rebuttal for the following reasons.

 

1) This is your list, you can do what you damn well please. My arguing isn't going to ever make you change your mind on that so why waste the effort

2) MOS isn't a film that I love so I have no great desire to spend the time counterpointing your arguments. Its a 6.5/10 film for me. If I loved the film I would probably be motivated to defend it, but I don't so I have no great desire too.

 

You can rant about any film you like, but to make a post about MOS roughly 3x longer than any other on this thread (yes I did read all your entries) was hilarious to me on a film that is just meant to be a bit of popcorn fluff. I rolled my eyes with an amusing wrestling gif and you take offense.

 

Oh well, too bad, so sad. Each to their own hey?

Edited March 13, 2014 by Spottswoode

[rukaio101]

Wow, who knew that a simple eye-rolling gif would cause such offence. 

You're really surprised a condescending gif caused offence?

 

 

Woah Woah Woah, hold on there for a second mr strawman guy! I never said you, or anyone else couldn't deconstruct any film as much as you like. All I said was that it was needless.

Because that makes things so much better.

 

 

I'm saying that movies like MOS are not exactly high-art, nor did they make an impact on popular culture as a whole so the amount of time and effort to rail against the movie is needless IMO. 

So you're suggesting that only 'high-art films' should be ranted against? Just because MoS is a blockbuster doesn't mean there aren't a lot of things I can complain talk about or that it makes what I, or anyone else writes about the movie any more/less worthwhile.

 

 

If you want to rant against MOS be my guest, but I shall continue to roll my eyes at the thought that an otherwise forgettable film has caused such a reaction in some people.

If you want to roll your eyes at it, be my guest, but when you come on the thread specifically to roll your eyes and not add any meaningful discussion, don't act surprised when people take offence to it.

 

 

Let me give an example of what I mean. You compare the action of Batman Begins to the action of Man of Steel. Despite having similar styles of action you despise one while enjoy the other. And you justify this by giving an explanation as to why it suits batman but not superman. Fair enough, but you could have equally have said that given Superman is faster than a speeding bullet etc etc, that shaky cam is appropriate because it gives us a sense of how quick to the eye that he moves, that it is impossible for a human to keep up with his movements, blah blah blah.

But you don't need shakey cam to illustrate that point. All you need is to quickly move him from one side of the camera to the other. If anything, shakey cam would make that worse and harder to follow. 

 

 

I suspect the truth is that you enjoyed the action in BB because you were engaged with that movie, and you didn't enjoy the action of MOS because you were not engaged in that movie. But that's just a hunch. 

And that'd be an incorrect one. There have been plenty of movies I've enjoyed the action in even when I wasn't engaged with them. Transformers, The Lone Ranger, even the recent Need for Speed. I walked in fully expecting to enjoy the action in MoS, if nothing else. I didn't. And I'm very easy to please when it comes to action.

 

 

Ultimately your list, is your list and it can never be wrong. It's your feelings after all. Don't worry I'm not saying its not 'valid'.  What I am saying is that it is obvious to me that many of the reasons you give are not because they are 'bad' but because your hatred of this film makes them much bigger issues then they should be. And that is MY opinion and my opinion is just as valid as your opinion bud.

Considering we're talking about how my mind works, your opinion is not as valid as mine on that. I've been living with me my entire life. You only have a few posts on the internet to work off. Certainly, your opinion on MoS is as valid as mine, but your opinion on my thought process is no more valid compared to mine than a homeless man's opinion on a medical issue is to a doctor's.

 

 

1) This is your list, you can do what you damn well please. My arguing isn't going to ever make you change your mind on that so why waste the effort

But apparently you thought rolling your eyes at me would be a better approach.

 

 

You can rant about any film you like, but to make a post about MOS roughly 3x longer than any other on this thread (yes I did read all your entries) was hilarious to me on a film that is just meant to be a bit of popcorn fluff.

To be fair, that has more to do with the fact that a lot of the films on here I don't have too much to say about. I'll probably write longer entries once I get to my higher ranked films. 

 

Also, just because it's 'popcorn fluff' doesn't mean there isn't a lot to criticize about it or that I shouldn't.

 

 

I rolled my eyes with an amusing wrestling gif and you take offense.

That gif was about as amusing as the memes BKB and Squaremaster post at each other.

 

And are you really surprised that people take offence you rolling your eyes at something someone has obviously put effort into, without adding any argument or context or any attempt at respect just because you think it's 'needless'.

 

I'll admit though that a large part of my irritation comes from me finding that gif obnoxious. That and I hate people calling anything 'needless' because, in my eyes, it comes off as a smug attempt at superiority without having to resort to anything actually worthwhile like reasoned argument.

 

Anyway, since I can't exactly avoid it now, a new entry is coming soon. (I'm getting the feeling Spottswoode is deliberately arguing with me just to force me to finish this damn list...)

[rukaio101]

35. Ender's Game

"Han Solo is a dick."

 

 

This was actually kind of a pleasant surprise for me. Despite finding X-Men Origins: Wolverine a guilty pleasure, I don't exactly consider Gavin Hood a great director and, while I enjoyed the book, I thought there were a lot of elements that really wouldn't work on film. But the movie ended up surpassing my expectations, being an enjoyable flick that cut most of the unnecessary fat while still remaining close to the spirit of the book.

 

Asa Butterfield playing Ender Wiggin was easily one of the best casting decisions I've seen all year and he does an absolutely fantastic job carrying the film, balancing military prodigy with psychologically tortured kid perfectly. (And this is probably the closet I'm ever going to get to seeing him play Shinji Ikari.) Harrison Ford and Hailee Steinfeld also both do as great a job as I'd expect from them. Oddly enough, the only actor wasn't a fan of here was Ben Kingsley (usually one of my favourite actors) as Mazer Rackham. I get the feeling Kingsley thought he'd signed on for another schlockfest and decided to ham it up a bit, something I'm usually a fan of but here it just seems misplaced.

 

I'll admit I was actually pretty surprised at how inventive and interesting the visuals were in this movie. Sure some of them really looked CGI, but I can forgive that since they do some really interesting stuff with it. The zero-G battles and big spaceship fight at the end really stand out. The sets and costumes were also pretty good. Sure they feel a bit 'generic sci-fi' but for what the movie is, it works.

 

Sure the film isn't perfect, a lot of character development is skipped over and there were some weak characters and scenes slipped in but for a film I didn't have at all high hopes for, this was surprisingly good.

[rukaio101]

34. Riddick

"Basically Castaway if Vin Diesel got compete creative control."

 

 

Speaking as a huge fan of Pitch Black, but someone who hated Chronicles of Riddick, I was mixed on whether I thought this would be any good. Sure it looked like they were returning to their classic Pitch Black roots, but I've been fooled before (looking at you Transformers). Luckily, I got pretty much what I was hoping, good old Pitch Blackian fun, with enough thrown in to stop it feeling too much like a retread of old ground.

 

The first third is probably the most different from previous entries, focusing around Riddick licking his wounds after Karl Urban's inevitable betrayal and adapting to the new hostile planet he finds himself on. And, considering this section relies little on dialogue and mostly on Diesel's acting, he pulls it off surprisingly well. Admittedly, that probably has more to do with what's going on than any serious acting ability of Vin's, but it still shows that he knows how to carry a film.

 

He's not alone for too long and with the arrival of the bounty hunters, the film gets closer to the original Pitch Black with a good old-fashioned game of cat and mouse. I've always been a fan of sneaky, wit-against-wit mind games and they pull it off pretty well here. The characters, while somewhat stock, are interesting enough that we don't mind following them for a while, yet they're also despicable enough that we're happy to see them get taken out.

 

The final third, however, is where it pretty much starts ripping off Pitch Black and, in my opinion, is probably the weakest for it. But it's still enjoyable and the ending in particular pleasantly surprised me for subverting what I'd typically expect from a film like this.

 

All in all, a solid successor to pitch Black. Could've used more Karl Urban though.

[rukaio101]

33. Jack the Giant Slayer

"Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of a really bad CGI department...."

 

 

I'll admit I may be somewhat biased as I'm a huge Bryan Singer fan and have enjoyed everything he's done (yes, even Superman Returns), but I actually really enjoyed this film. Nicholas Hoult's lead was likeable, the plot was enjoyable, pretty much everyone involved seemed like they were having a great time and, honestly, the whole film was just really kind of fun.

 

Admittedly, the CGI is terrible. Really really terrible. But I'm not the sort of person who gets bothered by bad CGI so I was happy to overlook it. Sure, most of you probably don't feel the same but that's why this is my list and not yours and I'm allowed to talk about Man of Steel as long as I like. *blinks* Sorry, not sure where that came from.

 

Anyway... awkward tangent aside, it's good to see Bryan Singer still has enough in him to keep me entertained. Even if not everyone quite agrees. Also, this is probably the closest I'm going to get to an Attack on Titan movie. Which is really really depressing.

[baumer]

Interesting we both felt the same about Ender's Game and Riddick and pretty close on Prisoners.  

 

I'm liking your reviews.  Sorry I haven't been here in a while.