Ruk's Count Down 65 Movies from 2013 ('Yes, I'm actually going to finish this.' edition)

[Jessie]

You're really surprised a condescending gif caused offence?

 

 

Because that makes things so much better.

 

 

So you're suggesting that only 'high-art films' should be ranted against? Just because MoS is a blockbuster doesn't mean there aren't a lot of things I can complain talk about or that it makes what I, or anyone else writes about the movie any more/less worthwhile.

 

 

If you want to roll your eyes at it, be my guest, but when you come on the thread specifically to roll your eyes and not add any meaningful discussion, don't act surprised when people take offence to it.

 

 

But you don't need shakey cam to illustrate that point. All you need is to quickly move him from one side of the camera to the other. If anything, shakey cam would make that worse and harder to follow. 

 

 

And that'd be an incorrect one. There have been plenty of movies I've enjoyed the action in even when I wasn't engaged with them. Transformers, The Lone Ranger, even the recent Need for Speed. I walked in fully expecting to enjoy the action in MoS, if nothing else. I didn't. And I'm very easy to please when it comes to action.

 

 

Considering we're talking about how my mind works, your opinion is not as valid as mine on that. I've been living with me my entire life. You only have a few posts on the internet to work off. Certainly, your opinion on MoS is as valid as mine, but your opinion on my thought process is no more valid compared to mine than a homeless man's opinion on a medical issue is to a doctor's.

 

 

But apparently you thought rolling your eyes at me would be a better approach.

 

 

To be fair, that has more to do with the fact that a lot of the films on here I don't have too much to say about. I'll probably write longer entries once I get to my higher ranked films. 

 

Also, just because it's 'popcorn fluff' doesn't mean there isn't a lot to criticize about it or that I shouldn't.

 

 

That gif was about as amusing as the memes BKB and Squaremaster post at each other.

 

And are you really surprised that people take offence you rolling your eyes at something someone has obviously put effort into, without adding any argument or context or any attempt at respect just because you think it's 'needless'.

 

I'll admit though that a large part of my irritation comes from me finding that gif obnoxious. That and I hate people calling anything 'needless' because, in my eyes, it comes off as a smug attempt at superiority without having to resort to anything actually worthwhile like reasoned argument.

 

Anyway, since I can't exactly avoid it now, a new entry is coming soon. (I'm getting the feeling Spottswoode is deliberately arguing with me just to force me to finish this damn list...)

 

Seriously Rukaio all this for a harmless little gif? You need to grow a pair mate

[rukaio101]

Seriously Rukaio all this for a harmless little gif? You need to grow a pair mate

What can I say? I enjoy a good argument. And at least I'm not so insecure that I feel the need to tell someone on the internet to 'grow a pair' for doing something I disagree with. 

 

32. Oz: The Great & Powerful

"Needs more Bruce Campbell."

 

 

This one is probably going to cause a bit of controversy (although I'd save your righteous anger for my #10 entry). But I honestly did really enjoy this film. The effects were spectacular, the story was fun, the acting was pretty good, it was a fun film. It's nowhere near the classic that the first one was, but it's far from being that bad.

 

I'll admit, I wasn't the biggest fan of Mila Kunis's performance, but I thought the quick romance between her and Franco made perfect sense within the realm of the film. Oz is a fairy tale land, so it's not surprising that the romance between the two is akin to a fairy tale (eg, unrealistically quick). However, since Oscar is from earth, not Oz, reality naturally ensues and bad shit happens. Although, maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

 

As for the other often despised element of the film, James Franco, I thought he was fine. Yeah, he was an annoying git, but the character is supposed to be an annoying git, so it works. Maybe it goes a bit too far for some people, but I was fine with it.

 

So yeah. I may get hate for it, but I thought it was a good film.

[Jessie]

What can I say? I enjoy a good argument. And at least I'm not so insecure that I feel the need to tell someone on the internet to 'grow a pair' for doing something I disagree with.

Well perhaps you should find yourself a different hobby because from where I'm standing, every argument you have ends with you looking like an idiot. Save yourself the embarrassment kid. Edited March 18, 2014 by Jessie

[rukaio101]

Well perhaps you should find yourself a different hobby because from where I'm standing, every argument you have ends with you looking like an idiot. Save yourself the embarrassment kid.

Considering 'where [you're] standing' appears to be 20 feet up your own arse, I don't find myself particularly giving a crap about what you consider 'looking like an idiot'.

 

31. GI Joe: Retaliation

"You know, they call it a waterboard... but I never get bored!" (Yes, I'm aware that's an actual quote but dammit nothing I can say will beat that)

 

Now this is how you do a mindless action flick.

 

I was kinda mixed on the first GI Joe film, Rise of Cobra. On the one hand, the action and villains were both great. On the other hand, the heroes were ungodly annoying. This film fixes that in the first 15 minutes by killing them all and replacing them with The Rock and Bruce Willis. This is a move I very much approve of and hope to see repeated in the Transformers series.

 

The rest is just stupid, explosive-laden fun, like the Transformers series. But, unlike Transformers, it's stupid, explosive-laden fun starring characters I don't want to violently throttle. Hence, I enjoy it a lot more. The characters aren't very deep or complex or anything like that, but they're not horrible and being led by the Rock gives them a natural boost in fucking awesomeness.

 

So yeah, in my opinion this is the sort of film that the Transformers should have been. It's a stupid popcorn movie, yes, but it's a stupid popcorn movie that lets you just enjoy yourself, without forcing you to watch an hour of Shia LeBeouf being an annoying git first.

[Jessie]

Considering 'where [you're] standing' appears to be 20 feet up your own arse, I don't find myself particularly giving a crap about what you consider 'looking like an idiot'. 

Considering the amount of times you've stalked my posts, this isn't the sort of behaviour I'd expect from someone who doesn't give a crap about what I think but yeah, carry on.

[4815162342]

No one here really hated on Franco. He was generally approved of. It was the Mila Kunis mocking train that controlled the station, and rightfully so.

[Jessie]

Mila Kunis looked bored and far less attractive than usual. Shame

[rukaio101]

Considering the amount of times you've stalked my posts, this isn't the sort of behaviour I'd expect from someone who doesn't give a crap about what I think but yeah, carry on.

So apparently, not only are you up your own arse, but you're also a massive narcissist. At least that's the only reason, aside from extreme paranoia, why you'd think anyone was 'stalking your posts'. 

 

No one here really hated on Franco. He was generally approved of. It was the Mila Kunis mocking train that controlled the station, and rightfully so.

While it's true Kunis got the brunt of the hate (and rightfully so), I still heard quite a lot of hate towards Franco. Maybe I just happened to find the worst of it. 

 

30. Saving Mr Banks

"This got less Oscar noms than The Lone fucking Ranger?"

 

 

I'll admit this was one of my more anticipated Oscar bait films. I absolutely adore Mary Poppins (as I'm sure everyone does), I like looking behind the scenes of famous film productions and the trailer made it look very interesting. However, the finished product was not at all what I was expecting, with the film creation aspects taking a backseat to the Travers's emotional backstory. Admittedly, I don't think that was exactly a good thing (since I like the film creation aspects), but it's far from being bad.

 

Emma Thompson was naturally fantastic and completely deserved an Oscar nom (still can't believe that snub.) Admittedly, I do think they do play up the 'bitchy' aspects of Travers a bit too much in the beginning, but that only makes it all the more sweeter later on in the 'Let's go Fly a Kite' scene. Tom Hanks, again snubbed, also put in an excellent performance. The real surprise for me though, was Colin Ferrell as the dad. Considering I had no idea going in that he was even in the film, he really surprised me, showing that it's not just Martin McDonagh films he does great in.

 

One of the things that did bug me though was that for a movie about the creation of Mary Poppins (albeit just the film), there was awfully little of her and her supposed real-life inspiration. Yes, the movie is called Saving Mr Banks (a title which ended up being a lot more relevant to the plot than I expected) and I'm completely fine with them concentrating on Travers's father more, but the inspiration for Mary Poppins only appears in 2/3 scenes and doesn't do much of importance. Which is a shame, because she seemed like she would be a really interesting character.

 

That wasted opportunity aside, this was still a very good film. Admittedly, I didn't like it quite as much as most of the Oscar contenders I saw this year (aside from a certain Hustle-related film), but I still think it definitely took some acting snubs.

[Jessie]

So apparently, not only are you up your own arse, but you're also a massive narcissist. At least that's the only reason, aside from extreme paranoia, why you'd think anyone was 'stalking your posts'. 

 

 

 

 

It baffles me too, but lets face it Rukaio, you aren't going to admit it are you. Its funny that there was one period where almost every post I was making in whichever thread had you replying to them within minutes conveniently right after id made you look an idiot in a certain topic. Must have been a big coincidence or Nerd Rage...

Edited March 18, 2014 by Jessie

[rukaio101]

It baffles me too, but lets face it Rukaio, you aren't going to admit it are you. Its funny that there was one period where almost every post I was making in whichever thread had you replying to them within minutes conveniently right after id made you look an idiot in a certain topic. Must have been a big coincidence or Nerd Rage...

I don't particularly want to start up an argument a month after it concluded, so I'll just say this. Jessie, you couldn't make George W. Bush look like an idiot in a pretzel eating contest. If you did, by some miracle of creation, 'make me look like an idiot in a certain topic' (for which I want a link), I can assure you I must have been plastered off my arse, since I don't recall anything mildly like that.

 

Anyway, I didn't bump this thread just to insult Jessie (although I'm more than petty enough to do so). I've been very busy over the last month with coursework and such and, in hindsight, doing these as I go along was not my best decision, since I have about 20 other projects my time would be better spent on. But that's not to say I've cancelled this. Instead, over the last month or so, I've written up all of my entries so I can get this over and done with once and for all. I'll be releasing them 3/4 a day (unless I'm too busy) right up to number 1 so enjoy.

 

Next one will be up in a minute.

[rukaio101]

29. Monster University

"Oh yeah, because we all wanted this over The Incredibles 2." (And that joke became dated very very fast.)

 

This may surprise a lot of you, but I’m not really that big a fan of Monsters Inc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a fan of it, but when I constantly see it on Top 10 animated films lists and it being touted as one of Pixar’s best, I just keep thinking ‘it wasn’t that brilliant’. Maybe it’s my heavy addiction to anime, maybe it’s because I think Pixar as a whole is kinda overrated, but I just can’t think of it as one of the greats. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still really good and there’s not much bad I can say about it, but I just can’t really love it.

 

Monsters Uni is pretty much the same. It’s a good movie. There’s no denying that. Admittedly, there are some things I hate more about it (mostly revolving around the many college movie clichés and the predictability of the ‘rivals who hate each other then become friends’ plot). But there are some things I like more about it (Dean Hardscrabble and the movie’s moral which is remarkably mature not just for a kids movie but for a movie in general).

 

Weighing it all up though, I don’t think it’s quite as good as Inc, but I never held Inc in that high a regard to begin with so I’m okay with that. And it’s more than good enough on its own. But I just can’t really love either film that much. Finding Nemo on the other hand…. Let's just say I'm very sceptical about Finding Dory.

[rukaio101]

28. Berserk: The Golden Age Arc III: Descent

"None of you actually know what this is, do you?"

Okay since, as I mentioned, I’m pretty sure most of you have absolutely no idea what this is, let me explain. Berserk is a fantasy manga (Japanese comic) series by Kentaro Miura and is probably one of the defining (and darkest) works of the genre. Seriously though, in terms of darkness, this series makes Game of Thrones look like Care Bears. The most famous arc in Berserk is the Golden Age arc (to the point where it made up the entirety of the anime series, in addition to now being remade as a film trilogy (which concluded with this film)) which pretty much acts as a backstory to the series (that lasts about 20-30 volumes) and has quite possibly one of the biggest gut punches in history in the form of the Eclipse. Which this movie covers. Brutally.

 

It’s going to be difficult to review this because I really don’t want to spoil it for anyone who’s never heard of the series. Really, it's one hell of a twist. But, I’ll admit, having read the manga beforehand slightly ruined this for me, because the manga does it a lot better. That said, it’s still the same writing and I absolutely adore Berserk, so it would’ve been really hard to screw this up for me. And while I think the manga did most of the Eclipse better, there was a certain moment near the end, involving Casca, the main heroine, which I actually thought the movie did better than the manga. And that’s pretty damn impressive.

[rukaio101]

27. The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

"You know, with a title like that, I was expecting the Hobbit to have a larger role. And for there to be more Smaug. And some actual desolation."

 

Pretty much the sole reason this movie is this high is because of Smaug. Without him, it would probably be mid-to-low 30’s in that I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t very outstanding. The action was good but it was overlong, most of the adventures felt unimportant and barely seemed to further the story and Bilbo barely got anything to do. But once that dragon appeared onscreen, I was transfixed. Sure, he looks like something I've killed 100 times on Monster Hunter, but that voice, mixed with those fantastic mouth effects… Benedict Cumberbatch used at his finest. He oozed charisma, intelligence, power and was very intimidating. You really got the feeling he could squish Bilbo with a mere thought and the writing was convincing enough to understand why he wouldn’t. That entire scene and Bilbo was just so great to watch. Real edge of your seat stuff.

 

The rest, like I said, was mid-to-low 30’s material. It was good but forgettable. I give credit that they gave much more to Richard Armitage’s character this time, unlike the last film where he was just a dick. But they really don’t give enough screentime or development to the rest of the dwarves to make me give a crap about them. So yeah, it was mostly just Smaug who made me like this movie.

[Plain Old Tele]

Ruk, you better get your ass in gear if this is gonna be finished in 2014.

[rukaio101]

Ruk, you better get your ass in gear if this is gonna be finished in 2014.

I'm hurt, Tele. Hurt. I'm not saying it's untrue, but I'm still hurt.

 

Also, how is it that that post has gotten more likes than anything I've posted in the last three pages or so....?

[Plain Old Tele]

I'm the voice of the silent masses? I have no idea....

Edited April 11, 2014 by Telemachos

[rukaio101]

26. Star Trek: Wrath of Khan Into Darkness

"Ricardo Montalban certainly looks a lot different in this film..."

 

 

If the remake to Psycho has taught me one thing, it’s never to hire the casting director who thought Vince Vaughn would make a good Norman Bates. If the remake to Psycho has taught me two things, it’s that and that remaking a classic film shot for shot does not necessarily make your film good. Which is a shame because, up until the film decided to become Wrath of Khan, I was really enjoying it.

 

The 2009 Star Trek was a great surprise for me. I’d never actually seen anything Star Trek related before then, but I absolutely adored it. Since then, I’ve watched most of the other (good) Star Trek films, including Wrath of Khan which really blew the rest away. It was intense, operatic and Ricardo Montalban put in an incredible performance. So I can understand that it’d be the one you’d want to copy the most. What I don’t get is why JJ Abrams thought it necessary to copy it at all. He was doing fine on his own. And I can understand the want to homage a film like that, but there’s a line between homage and straight up ripping it off and it’s obvious Into Darkness passed it.

 

Pretty much everything else about the film was great. Between this series and the recent Jack Ryan, I’ve really come to like Chris Pine as a leading man. The action was great and the visuals were stunning (although London got blown up. Again.) I think Cumberbatch was pretty underused and never really got to shine until he takes over the Nemesis, but when he did, he was great.

 

So basically it’s the opposite of Hobbit 2. Great movie but has that one bit which really drags it down. Now I look forward to Star Trek III where the entire team goes searching for whales.

Edited April 11, 2014 by rukaio101

[Plain Old Tele]

^^ oh ruk. You're definitely not a Trekkie.

[Dark Jedi Master 007]

I'm hurt, Tele. Hurt. I'm not saying it's untrue, but I'm still hurt.

 

Also, how is it that that post has gotten more likes than anything I've posted in the last three pages or so....?

It's a BO.Com conspiracy. Everyone gets a notification whenever Telemachos posts something, so that we can all go like it. This way his insane like count will remain high no matter what.

[rukaio101]

It's a BO.Com conspiracy. Everyone gets a notification whenever Telemachos posts something, so that we can all go like it. This way his insane like count will remain high no matter what.

I still subscribe to the Tele mind control theory.

 

25. Dallas Buyer's Club

"You guys are gonna be pissed when you see what I've got at Number 24."

 

 

I’m get the feeling I’m gonna get shit for putting this this low.

 

The reason this is ‘only’ 25th though, doesn’t really have to do with anything it does wrong, because there’s really nothing all that bad I can say about it. The writing's good, the direction's good, the acting is outstanding (at least for Matt and Jared (none of the others really stood out)). It just doesn’t have anything impressive or outstanding enough for me (outside of the acting) that made me want to rank it higher than the other 24 above it.

 

But, like I said, Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto both deserved their Oscar wins for this. Admittedly, Matt wasn’t my top choice for the award, but I had absolutely no objections when it went to him. He put in a fantastic performance. Honestly, the performances were what really set this film apart and the film really got the chance to show them off. And I give the film credit for making it easy to follow and understand the healthcare issues in the film with relative ease, while still making it interesting. Unlike, say, American Hustle where I could barely follow the hustles going on and, quite frankly, I didn't really care about them.

 

To sum up, this is like American Hustle should've been. Fantastic acting with writing that can to some extent back it up. Sure, it doesn't really have anything to majorly separate it from the pack for me, but it's still a good movie.