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chasmmi

Chasmmi's Top Rundown of 2015 from worst to best - Time to release 7th up to 4th, I predict 2 yays, 1 huh? and 1 $%@! from the viewing public :D

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So I know most people have done top 25 or top 15 or top 19 etc, but I have decided to do the whole hog! I have seen 72 films from 2015 to date and anticipate having seen another 5 by the end of this list. Thus I have pre-emptively titled this list:

 

CHASMMI'S TOP 77 FILMS OF THE YEAR!!!!

 

Before we begin, let me explain myself a little and how I rate a film...

 

1. I generally like films. As things stand to date, of the 72 films I have currently seen, 56 of the 72 would score 70/100 or more (which I would consider about a B minus in lettered scores). Only 3 films get rated less than a 45/100 (D grade), although a forth film does score exactly 45/100.

 

2. My list and thoughts are of course immensely subjective and I rate my films based 90+% on how I liked it and not how well made or well acted it was. This is why I rated Grand Budapest so low last year despite conceding it is a beautiful film that is expertly made.

 

3. Expectation going into a film does play a larger role than possibly it should. A film I was anticipating for 5 years and turns out average is probably going to be rated up to 10% lower than a film I was hoping to never watch as it looked awful but was actually surprisingly average.

 

4. In the past 5 years, these are the films that got ranked top 3 for each year as a reference. (Please note that 2013 and before I probably saw about 20 films a year max, compared to 50+ the previous 2 years:

 

2014.

1st. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (100/100) 

2nd. John Wick  (98/100)

3rd. Pride (97/100)

 

2013

1st. Catching Fire (99/100)

2nd Gravity (97/100)

3rd Frozen (96/100)

 

2012

 

1st. Life of Pi (100/100)

2nd. Skyfall (98/100)

3rd. Avengers (97/100)

 

 

5. After seeing people like Tele raise the bar with production values, I have decided to add some artistic flair to the presentation so look out for that!!

 

 

And thus we begin...

 

 

 

 

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77th.

Spongebob.thumb.png.ad94259dce57603c0d8b
 

Spoiler

 

 

SpongeBob Squarepants: Sponge Out of Water

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 50-65/100

Actual Score - 11/100

 

Okay so I have never seen an episode of SpongeBob ever, not even 35 seconds. Therefore I was not going into this as a fan, I had no idea what kind of humour to expect from it. In fact the only reason I watched it was in an attempt to not have to put a certain animated film in my top 5 animations for the Boffys (as you can see, this film did not solve that problem).

 

The film is horrible. I mean God bless Banderas for trying. He did not seem to be just taking a pay check, he wanted to insert some fun into the film. Yet everything was just painful for me to sit through. I don't think a single joke made me laugh, the random stuff (like the dolphin) just made me go 'wtf' out loud alone in my own living room and the sort of live action ending just caused my brain physical and emotional pain.

 

Maybe it was exactly what fans of the show were hoping for, but for me... let's just stick with saying that I was less than a fan :)

 

 

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76th.

56d8728923183_PitchPerfect2.thumb.png.58

 

Spoiler

 

Pitch Perfect 2

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 45-55/100

Actual Score - 14/100

 

I blame the summer game for this one. Being in Korea, I had no idea about the existence of a Pitch Perfect 1. However when BSG top 15s started to pop up, this film called Pitch Perfect 2 was popping up all the time. So I went onto YouTube and watched the trailer and ... I didn't get it. The film looked pretty awful and yet people were predicting big numbers for it and then as summer went buy it made big numbers.

 

So I decided eventually to watch the film a few months back and it was... worse than I could have imagined. It's a musical film where the songs contribute nothing to the story at any point. It's a musical competition story where the main team is no where near the best team in any of the competitions.

 

Then there is the comedy, what the hell were the jokes in this? There's an Asian that is there just to be weird and Asian, a Colombian who is funny because illegal immigrants and the like are hilarious because yay racism! And speaking of yay racism! The two event announcers are I am sure supposed to be funny because what they say is shocking and thus funny, but it just isn't.

 

Finally there is the piece de la resistance: Rebel Wilson. This woman is a cancer on cinema. I do not understand how she gets any roles as she is just not funny like literally ever. When I think of Rebel Wilson, I can't help but compare her to Melissa McCarthy. McCarthy is a larger actress than the average Hollywood starlet and has a brand of comedy that is not for everyone, however the majority of her comedy is at least comedy. It is jokes, or pratfalls or reactions. Rebel Wilson's comedy goes no further than: "I am fat and it is funny that I am fat. Oh look at fat person me being fat because being fat is funny!"

 

I have rambled too long now as it is hard to really boil down how much I dislike this film into 1 paragraph.

 

 

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75th.

56d8792c6f5bf_JupiterAscending.thumb.png


 

Spoiler

 

Jupiter Ascending

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 30-45/100

Actual Score - 21/100

 

This looked bad from the minute I first saw a trailer. It was dumped in February which increased my suspicions of its badness and upon watching it, I realised that it actually was a bit worse than I even expected. I went to the cinema hoping to watch something gloriously entertaining in its badness, what I got was Eddie Redmayne doing ... well does he even know what he was trying to do in that role?

 

Mila Kunis is the sort of actress I would stare at on a screen all day, even if she was just standing in an empty room talking about butterflies. But the poor girl is lost in this film (along with the rest of the cast) and when you can't even successfully kill off Sean Bean like films are supposed to... well you end up with a film that could have been 'so bad it is good', but ended up just plain bad.  

 

 

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1 hour ago, chasmmi said:

76th.

56d8728923183_PitchPerfect2.thumb.png.58

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

:kitschjob::kitschjob:

 

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1 hour ago, chasmmi said:

76th.

56d8728923183_PitchPerfect2.thumb.png.58

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

:kitschjob::kitschjob:

 

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8 hours ago, chasmmi said:

CHASMMI'S TOP 77 FILMS OF THE YEAR!!!!

 

2014.

1st. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (100/100) 

2nd. John Wick  (98/100)

3rd. Pride (97/100)

 

 

:ohmygod:

 

8 hours ago, chasmmi said:

2013

 

1st. Catching Fire (99/100)

2nd Gravity (97/100)

3rd Frozen (96/100)

 

:ohmygod::ohmygod:

 

8 hours ago, chasmmi said:

2012

 

1st. Life of Pi (100/100)

2nd. Skyfall (98/100)

3rd. Avengers (97/100)

 

:ohmygod::ohmygod::ohmygod:

 

Looking forward to your 2015 entries, bring 'em on! :)

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74th.

Poltergeist.thumb.png.28acf72dff662aeda4


 

Spoiler

 

Poltergeist

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 70-80/100

Actual Score - 45/100

 

Me and horror kind of just are two things that exist. Sometimes something like Blair Witch or Ring turn up that I fall in love with, but generally I find myself wishing the film had been better. Poltergeist looked reasonably promising with its first trailer, but ultimately it is a film where nothing happened.

 

It's not a terrible film (just), it just was a film that did absolutely nothing for 85 minutes. And that's all I have to say about that.

 

 

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73rd

Chappie.thumb.png.c0a1c24b75fa7480a71db1


 

Spoiler

 

Chappie

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 85/100

Actual Score - 48/100

 

Over the course of this list there are going to be about 5-8 films where I went into the film convinced that the general consensus of people who had seen either the film or the trailers of a film must be wrong. These are films where reactions seemed to be pretty overwhelmingly positive/negative/meh towards a film that I saw the opposite potential in. Out of these 5-8 films, some turned out that the general reaction fell in line with my own opinion, others I continued to have an atypical reaction to the film in question. This is the first such film where this situation arose.

 

I thought Chappie looked pretty good. The story seemed fine, it had Hugh Jackman and Slumdog Millionaire and some impressive looking effects. I could even see past the accent of the robot and was expecting a pretty great film even though critic after critic said it was not anywhere close to the case.


So to the cinema (well my TV at home) I went, to find out the truth for myself and the results were that... yeah this is pretty shit. There are some redeeming features - Dev Patel and Hugh Jackman are clearly putting in the effort and having some fun. But those two idiots that take over 40% of the film or more are just intolerable, I'd almost prefer them to have cast Rebel Wilson! They pretty much single handedly ruin the film and whoever decided that it was best to reduce Jackman's role to essentially a cameo so that an 'actress' with less acting ability than my left testicle can say lines about Chappie making Mommy proud or whatever it was she said... yeah, whoever that guy was, he done fucked up.   

 

 

 

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72nd

56d9ba091724e_TheGreenInferno.thumb.png.


 

Spoiler

 

The Green Inferno

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 65/100

Actual Score - 50/100

 

When I heard about this film, it reminded me of the old cannibal films of yore. Some of them were awful to the point of evil (and should be banned), others were a bit of silly Amazonian cannibal fun. So I was kind of excited to see this film, but wasn't expecting too much from it, just a lot of over the top gore and silliness.

 

Sadly, apart from 1 or 2 scenes, this was mostly a pretty tame and uneventful affair. This to me, was more disappointing than just being bad. A bad film could still have silly enjoyable value (be prepared for this reasoning higher up in the list a lot :D ), but to just be ultimately bland and nothingy,  that was a shame.

 

I do enjoy some of the behind the scenes stories about interacting with the local tribe and such though.   

 

 

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71st

Tomorrowland.thumb.png.ac03c309279595b92


 

Spoiler

 

Tomorrowland

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 85-95/100

Actual Score - 51/100

 

The first of two films in a row that severely disappointed me more than I thought possible (and they are vaguely connected too). This film promised so many good things - A beloved Pixar director given crazy money to create a piece of imagination, it was a recipe for greatness. What we got was George Clooney in a bathtub declaring his love for a 12 year old girl.

 

I wanted to like this film, I tried so hard to like it. Even with 15 minutes left, I was willing to forgive it if it gave us a big climactic ending, but alas no. The film just trudged along without really achieving anything except giving Disney yet another reason to not invest in original big budget fayre again. :(

 

 

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70th

56da8429a9b01_TheGoodDinosaur.thumb.png.


 

Spoiler

 

The Good Dinosaur

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 92-96/100

Actual Score - 52/100

 

A second film that I refused to believe was as disappointing as most early reactions suggested. For a start, it is Pixar and the only Pixar film I have ever disliked was Finding Nemo - A generic road trip sort of film to try and find a specific place where family members are. So how could I get so disappointed by a generic road trip sort of movie where the characters try to find a special place wher... oooooh.

 

This is arguably the film that disappointed me the most all year as I really expected great things from it. Yet everything from the voice acting to the animation turned me off. The voice work was cringeworthy to my ears (they really should have gone WALL E style silent movie), and the animation was just weird, the backgrounds were beautiful but the characters looked like cheap cartoons, it confused me.

 

Then finally there was the tone. This is a film that consistently seems to aim itself at the tiniest of children, yet on numerous occasions commits flat out murder of characters for comedic effect. I couldn't understand the decision to do that (in the context of this film). This film has certainly fallen foul of losing points for how much it upset me by not being good than by its general badness. It has also been the film to be rerated up or down by the highest number of points upon further reflection.

 

 

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69th

56da8a8eedac4_GoodnightMommy.thumb.png.f

 

Goodnight Mommy

 

Anticipated /Expected Score - About 80-87/100

Actual Score - 52/100

 

So I heard about this great horror film from Austria and decided to check it out. I am still thinking that I must have tracked down the wrong film called goodnight Mommy because this film is yet another film of nothing.

 

First things first, if you don't see the twist within 90 seconds of the film beginning then you have seen precisely 4 films in your life. I spent the whole 90 minutes trying to figure out what the 'real' twist was going to be because there had to be something on top of the obvious. But no, that was it.

 

I await eagerly for the end of this year when I get to be disappointed by 2016 horror films as much as I have been by the 2015 ones on this list to date :)

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I think the forums should employ me full time to create poster art on the opening posts of the review the movie sections :)

 

On a more serious note, this is the point where I begin to have some positive comments to make about the films I have seen.

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19 hours ago, chasmmi said:

70th

56da8429a9b01_TheGoodDinosaur.thumb.png.


 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

I just watched Good Dinosaur myself, it was a prime example of a film that went through a lot of re-writes and it kind of looked like they just got exhausted in the end and decided to release it. Remember this film was supposed to released in may 2014! but they (fired?) the first director and all this stuff. dispute that I was able to enjoy the film for the most part, just for it's sheer wackyness and some surprising heartfelt scenes. but it was a pretty big disappointment overall. 

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