cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 (edited) SWAT Kats 2: The Viper Strikes - A marginal improvement from the first film mainly because it decides to actually have a second act (and upped the animation budget to some degree), but still chooses to forgo any real character development. B-/C+ Edited May 1, 2018 by cookie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted May 1, 2018 Share Posted May 1, 2018 2 minutes ago, cookie said: still chooses to forgo any real character development. B-/C+ Yeah. I had a problem with that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 (edited) He-Man II: The Revenge of Skeletor It's disappointing that the movie repeats the mistake the first film made in He-Man himself taking way too long to get in on the action. At least with the first movie you could argue it was an origin story, here instead the first half is dragged out by the villains running around on a fetch quest which Adam and most of Eternia aren't even aware of until they attack them directly near the end of the second act. While there are some cool action scenes once He-Man does get in on the action, the resolution is rather lackluster given the great stakes raising of Skeletor absorbing He-Man's powers for himself. All that buildup and what solves everything is Orka making an intentionally crappy portal and sucking Skeletor through it? Weak. Chris Hemsworth's new character saves this movie mainly because it's Hemsworth doing what he does best. C+ Edited May 1, 2018 by cookie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 Desolate Sea - C Street Sharks - It's ridiculous... TO THE EXTREME. ...I kinda like it. B- The Meteor Manhunt - So lazy it refuses to even have an ending. D Father - Well this was just dumb and unfortunate. D 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 (edited) Unknown Sender Man do I wish I was back with Pidge Holt The Greatest Detective right about now. F Edited May 1, 2018 by cookie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 Cupid's Quest - I can't wait for My Peoples to destroy this. D- The Storyteller - Eh. C+ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted May 1, 2018 Share Posted May 1, 2018 No joke if Detective Pidge does well I may make Live2tream. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 37 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said: No joke if Detective Pidge does well I may make Live2tream. Reunite Team Voltron and you're guaranteed a B- at least. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 Blood and Fur: Inglorious Paw-Stards Al Pacino is back. And he's a wizard now >One lone janitor decides to call the police >But Pacino uses wizard powers to turn the police into nazis Progressive presidential candidate is also a badass fighter >Awkward typo near the end >TOM MUTHAFUCKIN' HANKS SHOWS UP. To all the people who hate this series: >But Pacino dies for real this time >But Tom Mothafuckin' Hanks is still out there killing nazis A- 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 Zoldar: Warrior Beast From Outer Space So it's 85 minutes of Kevin Bacon versus Jason Voorhees. Let's just hope it goes better for Bacon than when he faced Jason's mother. Spoiler alert: IT DOES! But that rape joke at the end (I know @Xillix said it was unintentional but geez) B-/C+ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 (edited) Inversion - Was a fairly sweet romance up until that eye-rolling ending B Le Grand Ecran - Its intentions are noble but woof is this a jumbled mess C+ Edited May 1, 2018 by cookie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xillix Posted May 1, 2018 Share Posted May 1, 2018 3 hours ago, cookie said: The Meteor Manhunt - So lazy it refuses to even have an ending. D This is a very intentionally bad movie but this seems an odd criticism to me. The villains died, the main hero was rescued from impending doom, the setting was literally completely destroyed, a joke from the beginning paid off... what were you looking for, a funeral for Taylor Lautner? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 That Was a Long Time Ago * phone rings * "Hi, just wanted to call in and say this one sucked too. Also Zac Efron beats up Adam Devine in an alleyway. Never thought I'd see that." Okay seriously, you've been gone far too long now. Get back to the office! "Just one second, I need to tell the Pharaoh something. Yo Phaorey, in the words of Marion the Hamster, LET MY PEOPLE GOOOO!" Who's people? "My people!" Is he holding My Peoples hostage? That's an odd thing to do. "Oh shit, his first-born just died. I gotta bail!" * phone hangs up * D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted May 1, 2018 Share Posted May 1, 2018 Making Egypt jokes through these reviews. You noticeably skipped it in reviewing everything. You need to trash something for revenge in me ripping off your style with The Raven Boys... ...Fuck, Moses and co are getting trashed aren’t they. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 34 minutes ago, Xillix said: This is a very intentionally bad movie but this seems an odd criticism to me. The villains died, the main hero was rescued from impending doom, the setting was literally completely destroyed, a joke from the beginning paid off... what were you looking for, a funeral for Taylor Lautner? If his funeral anthem was an infinite loop of this: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted May 1, 2018 Share Posted May 1, 2018 2 minutes ago, cookie said: This guy is directing Alita: Battle Angel. It will be something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 4 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said: This guy is directing Alita: Battle Angel. It will be something. It can't be gloriously awful in all the best ways like Shark Boy and Lava Girl is tho 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted May 1, 2018 Author Share Posted May 1, 2018 Oh and to answer @Isle of Pasta's concerns 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted May 1, 2018 Share Posted May 1, 2018 1 minute ago, cookie said: Oh and to answer @Isle of Pasta's concerns Hide contents You do remember one of my major films has Laura Dern? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted May 1, 2018 Share Posted May 1, 2018 As long as you’re okay with MegVentures (aside from one iffy line), bring me your worst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
