cookie Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 (edited) 30k word reviews not guaranteed, check your local listings Edited May 2, 2018 by cookie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 24, 2018 Author Share Posted April 24, 2018 (edited) Homestar Runner's Cruddy Debut Movie Wow, we're not even a week in and we already have one of the worst movies of the year. I mean, I'm not even mad, it's just that this is a five-minute sketch of empty nothing turned into 87 minutes. Why does it exist? F Not Funny ...Wait, why is this R-rated again? Feels like a Hallmark channel movie if anything. D Chessmen * Portal appears and 2.0 me steps out * Oh good, this is going to become a long running gag, isn't it? I remember this movie being pretty decent. ...Eh. What do you mean, "eh"?! It's really just kinda thin, to be honest. Cute in spots, but I feel like it's hindered by a go-nowhere premise plus they waste Will Arnett as the boring "friend" character. Like, why would you do that?! ...Okay. ...You're... not gonna insult me and walk off? My timeline is dead, 3.0. Can't I stay here? Then you'll have to be in the background. We can't keep conversing back and forth in bold and non-bold, it hurts on the eyes after a while. If I need you again, I'll let you know. * checks calendar * Why the fuck would you make a sequel to Two Lonely Zookeepers?! One of life's greatest mysteries... C Burnout I like the video game series this is based on, but this is just a poor man's version of the Fast & Furious franchise, and that's not even getting into the random Michelle Rodriguez cameo. Some of the crashes are neat and having an all Latino cast is novel, plus the ending went a direction I didn't expect, but that's about it. C/C- Edited April 24, 2018 by cookie 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 26, 2018 Author Share Posted April 26, 2018 (edited) So I'm just kinda busy this week trying to get Voltron 3/4 under way plus IRL stuff (and I saw Infinity War yesterday) and I don't really have the time/patience to go through the entire calendar right now, so here's what I'm going to do: @Isle of Pasta @4815162342 @Ethan Hunt @YourMother the Edgelord @Xillix @Hiccup23 @Rorschach You all get to do two requests each. It can be any movie you want from any point in the calendar including your own (except my own films of course, plus if someone else has already requested this or that film pick another film), and I'll get to them between today and Sunday. Then next week I'm going to read through the rest of the calendar, and if I feel like I have something to say about this or that movie I'll do a review, otherwise I'll just drop the grades with maybe some short blurbs before the Cookie Awards (I have several awards I'd like to dish out this year) and the Top 25. So get going. Edited April 26, 2018 by cookie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Hunt Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 2 Lonley 2 Zookeepers and The Raven Boys 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 I need to think about this one wisely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 26, 2018 Author Share Posted April 26, 2018 2 minutes ago, Ethan Hunt said: 2 Lonley 2 Zookeepers Oh good, 2.0 me is going to loooove this 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4815162342 Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 Odyssey Dark Side 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 26, 2018 Author Share Posted April 26, 2018 26 minutes ago, 4815162342 said: Odyssey Dark Side The sequels to one of my most loved and most hated movies of last year. Interesting choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4815162342 Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 1 minute ago, cookie said: The sequels to one of my most loved and most hated movies of last year. Interesting choice. Figured you should have two unique experiences. of course I haven't read Odyssey yet so for all I know it could be even worse than the first one. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 26, 2018 Author Share Posted April 26, 2018 3 minutes ago, 4815162342 said: Figured you should have two unique experiences. of course I haven't read Odyssey yet so for all I know it could be even worse than the first one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezen Baklattan Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 BioShock and 2park 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4815162342 Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 7 minutes ago, cookie said: I mean it's obviously going to be better because it's not going to repeat the mistake of spending nearly half the movie doing a condensed/rushed reenactment of the Trojan War. right....? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 (edited) Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive and Call Of Duty Edited April 26, 2018 by YourMother the Edgelord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 26, 2018 Author Share Posted April 26, 2018 (edited) So I'm just gonna leap ahead and start doing some reviews today while waiting for the other requests to come in. Coming tonight: Tyler and Hunter's Sexual Misadventures The Third The Odyssey: The Hugh Jackman Came Last in the Best Actor Vote and I'm Sure @Rorschach is Still Kinda Peeved About It Saga and Two Lonely Zookeepers: Tokyo Drift Edited April 26, 2018 by cookie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 26, 2018 Author Share Posted April 26, 2018 2 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: Probably Lilo and Stitch and Bioshock @Isle of Pasta just picked Bioshock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YM! Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 1 minute ago, cookie said: @Isle of Pasta just picked Bioshock Change of plans, I want both Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive and Call of Duty instead of my other two. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiccup23 Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 The chrysalids and notes from outer space 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 (edited) 38 minutes ago, cookie said: So I'm just gonna leap ahead and start doing some reviews today while waiting for the other requests to come in. Coming tonight: Tyler and Hunter's Sexual Misadventures The Third The Odyssey: The Hugh Jackman Came Last in the Best Actor Vote and I'm Sure @Rorschach is Still Kinda Peeved About It Saga and Two Lonely Zookeepers: Tokyo Drift Tbh, I was more peeved off at the Serkis snub if anything. Meryl Streep, her power. Edited April 26, 2018 by Rorschach Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4815162342 Posted April 26, 2018 Share Posted April 26, 2018 53 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said: BioShock 41 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said: Call Of Duty I see. Want to know if cookie is on the meh side or the fiery pile of shit side. I will remember this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookie Posted April 26, 2018 Author Share Posted April 26, 2018 Okay, time to read Dark Side. @Hiccup23 Hope I like it more than Truth Is. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
