Cookie’s Corner Year 3

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Andrew Ryan (Branagh)

 

I'm sorry, why do people hate this movie again?

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So this doctor guy is already defeated. Huh, movie was a lot shorter than I thought.

 

* Looks at the runtime and sees the movie isn't even halfway over *

 

Wait, what?

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Quote

She goes to another room and looks in, where we see several former Little Sisters, including Sister,

This is why you maybe should give the girl a different name.

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Okay so Ryan's dead. We've accomplished our goal. Let's end this movie.

 

* Whole third act left *

 

Oh come on!

[4815162342]

40 minutes ago, cookie said:

This is why you maybe should give the girl a different name.

 

The whole point is the girls lack individual identities because of what was done to them.

 

But she does get a name at the end.

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Bioshock

 

This is why doing close to a literal adaptation of any game does not work.

 

The central issue is the lack of structure.  The movie pretty much begins and ends three times and that makes it feel a lot longer than it really is. I'm not saying it'd have to radically alter itself to fit a three-act structure, but making it far less episodic would've helped a great deal. That's not saying there aren't a lot of cool moments within the individual "bits" (the Tchaikovsky sequence was a highlight) but they are just that, bits.

 

Another issue is that Jacqueline is pretty much a cipher. Vikander's got screen presence to back herself up, but aside from the SHOCKING TWIST there's really nothing to her character. Adam Jensen worked a lot better for me in The Human Revolution because there was a lot more to him and he had his own goals. Jacqueline pretty much does what everyone tells her to (which combined with the lingering question of what makes a man or a slave makes it a bit unfortunate).

 

Technically everything is done to a pitch perfect note, Rapture and its inhabitants all being wonderfully brought to the silver screen visually. I just wish they put more focus on the script instead of thinking the visuals alone will make it a worthwhile experience.

 

Minor note: I could clearly tell the gender swap was made in a hurry because the movie pretty much refers to Jacqueline as a male for most of the film, unless Jacqueline suddenly discovered a different gender identity a third of the way through (I guess I could have given points for being progressive if nothing else) it got a bit distracting.

 

C+

[4815162342]

Just now, cookie said:

Bioshock

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

This is why doing close to a literal adaptation of any game does not work.

 

The central issue is the lack of structure.  The movie pretty much begins and ends three times and that makes it feel a lot longer than it really is. I'm not saying it'd have to radically alter itself to fit a three-act structure, but making it far less episodic would've helped a great deal. That's not saying there aren't a lot of cool moments within the individual "bits" (the Tchaikovsky sequence was a highlight) but they are just that, bits.

 

Another issue is that Jacqueline is pretty much a cipher. Vikander's got screen presence to back herself up, but aside from the SHOCKING TWIST there's really nothing to her character. Adam Jensen worked a lot better for me in The Human Revolution because there was a lot more to him and he had his own goals. Jacqueline pretty much does what everyone tells her to (which combined with the lingering question of what makes a man or a slave makes it a bit unfortunate).

 

Technically everything is done to a pitch perfect note, Rapture and its inhabitants all being wonderfully brought to the silver screen visually. I just wish they put more focus on the script instead of thinking the visuals alone will make it a worthwhile experience.

 

Minor note: I could clearly tell the gender swap was made in a hurry because the movie pretty much refers to Jacqueline as a male for most of the film, unless Jacqueline suddenly discovered a different gender identity a third of the way through (I guess I could have given points for being progressive if nothing else) it got a bit distracting.

 

C+
 

 

 

 

Yeah I spent no time making edits to the actual plot since there was an immediate need for a film on May 17th so my only focus was to switch pronouns around as much as possible in the very little time available. Clearly I missed some.

 

So my defense is blame the people who forgot to make their films for that release date on time. 

[4815162342]

BTW, just wondering if you had a chance to look at the small appetizer I sent your way a few days ago.

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Just now, 4815162342 said:

BTW, just wondering if you had a chance to look at the small appetizer I sent your way a few days ago.

I'll... try to get to it sometime next week.

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@4815162342

 

Actually just saw it's pretty short so I can read it now.

[4815162342]

Just now, cookie said:

@4815162342

 

Actually just saw it's pretty short so I can read it now.

 

It's no Scavenger Wars for sure.

 

Just wanted to give a brief intro to the production.

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Is it wrong of me to say I immediately had David Bowie in my head as the opening credits came up?

[4815162342]

Just now, cookie said:

Is it wrong of me to say I immediately had David Bowie in my head as the opening credits came up?

 

No, you're not wrong. I thought for a while about the best way to intro the franchise and I decided that the opening montage was the best way to basically give audiences visual understanding without having to info-dump about this or that later on.

 

But we can't use Bowie because Valerian already did. 

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AND JAKE GYLLENHALL

Well that's a bad sign already.

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Pretty dope first twenty(?) minutes. Can't really say much else since I don't know where any of it goes from there.

[4815162342]

1 minute ago, cookie said:

Pretty dope first twenty(?) minutes. Can't really say much else since I don't know where any of it goes from there.

 

Yeah I just wanted to give a little appetizer since I had promised a pre-read a lot sooner and didn't get to it.

 

Any questions you have feel free to ask in the PM convo.

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Time for

 

 

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General Hurt be Hurtin'

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Call of Duty

 

 

It's pretty much Modern Warfare 1: The Movie. If you like the games you're going to enjoy it just fine, if you like pew pew and bang bang you're getting a lot of that for the buck too. Everyone else won't need to bother. Could've used less tactical talk and for a movie short on character development it's a bit long in the tooth but it's fine.

 

C+

[4815162342]

Yeah the first game in the trilogy is the least interesting movie wise.

 

The follow-ups are where things go bananas and true Bayhem.