Rorschach Reviews Y4: Now with 100% More Hot Takes

[Ezen Baklattan]

It’s tike to play the hit game show that’s sweeping the nation:

 

Guess.

 

That.

 

Cinemascore!!!

[Rorschach]

Quote

Marcia asks Jordan what she’s doing at the game. Jordan explains that she’s trying to finish up her story. Marcia tells her she hopes she’s presenting Tom’s story in a positive light and unsubtly motions towards the Dean and the scouts. Jordan coldly replies she’s simply doing objective reporting like all good journalists should. Marcia asks her what she means by that, and Jordan bluntly tells her that if she can’t see anything wrong with Tom playing women’s basketball, she must be a real self-loathing and pathetic c***. Marcia stares in shock and Jordan smiles, asking her to move so she can watch the game. Marcia, at a loss for words, goes to sit with the dean.

[cookie]

4 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

Marcia asks her what she means by that, and Jordan bluntly tells her that if she can’t see anything wrong with Tom playing women’s basketball, she must be a real self-loathing and pathetic c***.

I feel like there’s a need for context here for that whole sentence is WHAT

[Reddroast]

8 minutes ago, cookie said:

I feel like there’s a need for context here for that whole sentence is WHAT

Review it @cookie. It's insane

[cookie]

Just now, Reddroast said:

Review it @cookie. It's insane

It’s on my request list, so...

[Rorschach]

By The Balls

 

Well, that was a movie.

 

Overall, Yacinda and crew have probably made the boldest film of the year (aside from Jonny Jonny). There's quite a lot to unpack here. It's hilarious, shocking, and most of all, it's got balls. Olivia Cooke is great in the lead role but Bradley Cooper, far an away, steals this whole movie from under the rug. Every word out of his mouth is either hilarious or jaw-dropping in its shock value. Either way, he is without a doubt the star of this movie in my eyes. 

 

While not every single joke in the film lands perfectly, the stuff that does hit hits HARD. It works extremely well as a satire and it is probably the hardest I've laughed in quite a long time. It's probably one of the funniest movies to come out of this game in quite some time.

 

8.5/10

[Rorschach]

Since requests are done, imma be going on a month by month basis now. I'm going to a movie in about an hour and a half and I don't know how much I'll be able to get done by then. I'll try to post reviews tonight if possible.

[Rorschach]

Quote

Meanwhile, Mayor Hamilton (Sam Neill) is having a meeting in his office with businessman Freddie Pryce (Samuel L. Jackson). 

This can't end well...

 

[Rorschach]

Quote

"For God's sake Kira, would you stop scaring your brother? It's not a shark. They would have said something."

"Of course it's a shark, mom. What else would it be?"

"Well, it could be an algal bloom or something."

"Oh, right, algae. How terrifying. Someone call the health food store."

"It can be toxic in the right conditions."

"Well everyone on Twitter is saying it's a shark."

 

"Kira, I thought I told you I didn't want you on Twitter anymore."

"Everybody's on Twitter, mom. The PRESIDENT'S on Twitter."

"That's the problem."

[Rorschach]

Okay, I actually did manage to get through everything else (I've been reading stuff during my free time too so that helps.

 

July

 

Hoops

 

 

 

4/10

 

Jaws: The Return

 

I was predictably right about Samuel L. Jackson.

 

6/10

 

The Doppelganger

 

Sam Rockwell was good but that's about it.

 

4.5/10

 

I am Omega: Part One

 

Earthsong is the most anti-climactic film this ye-

 

3/10

 

God of War: Retribution

 

 

5/10

 

The Princess Diaries: The Heir Apparent

 

 

5.5/10

 

Thundercats

 

Producers: We take Superman... but we make him a Cat!

 

5/10

[YM!]

Yeah, the GOW movies will be action porn but the third and fourth are going to be my favorites to write and will be much more better written then the first two.

[Rorschach]

August

 

A Fool's Errand 

 

A pretty good stop-motion adventure story.

 

7.5/10

 

The Guardian of the West

 

 

6/10

 

Resonance

 

Wow, did not see that one coming.

 

9/10

 

The Last Days of Summer

 

 

5/10

 

Tattooed Teenage 4lien Fighters from Beverly Hills: Game Over

 

Man, I'm gonna miss this franchise. 😥

 

8/10

[YM!]

4 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

 

 A Fool's Errand 

 

A pretty good stop-motion adventure story.

 

7.5/10

 

Pleasantly surprised. Hopefully others reviews are also this good. 

 

With this and CYI?, my animation division quality is jumping, not to sure about TSCB though.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Resonance was pretty good when I read it in 2.0 - will have to see how this version holds up.

[Alpha]

18 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

Resonance

 

Wow, did not see that one coming.

 

9/10

Aight. Cool.

[Rorschach]

8 minutes ago, Alpha said:

Aight. Cool.

My love for A24 horror films probably rubbed off a little. 

[Rorschach]

September

 

Citizen Welles

 

Baumer would say the people who made this were brainwashed.

 

5/10

 

Big Enough

 

 

3/10

 

Outside Man

 

 

4/10

 

The Swarm

 

You make it too easy @Xillix

 

 

XD 6/10

 

Lucid

 

 

 

7/10

 

The Second Crash Bandicoot

 

I'd like to see Hemsworth make these sounds:

 

 

6.5/10

 

Edited October 22, 2018 by Rorschach

[Rorschach]

I've read through most of the October-December films, save for a few of the longer ones. I won't be doing any reviews today but you can expect them to be out by tomorrow or Monday at the latest. My Top 25 list will follow soon after.

[Rorschach]

I'm just gonna skip past the reviews and just list off the rankings for October through December in alphabetical order.

 

3:37 A.M. - 1/10

The Amityville Nightmare Part 2 - 5.5/10

Baked Sale - 2/10

Bats - 5/10

A Black Man, a White Man - 0/10 (this is basically The 120 Days of Sodom if it went on for an extra hour and a half)

Broadway Selects: Eugene O'Neil's The Iceman Cometh - 3.5/10

Crysis - 5.5/10

The Dogs of Babel - 6/10

Extreme Dinosaurs 2 - 5.5/10

Food Wars - 3/10

Guys and Dolls - 5/10

Home Invasion - 3/10

Leviathan - 6/10

Samurai Pizza Cats 2 - 5/10

Santa Claus: Ultimate Badass - 7/10

Silent Hill: Restless Dreams - 7.5/10

The Square Mile - 8/10

Starlit Highway - 8/10

A Wish for Wings That Worked - 4/10

[Rorschach]

I'll do my Top 25 tomorrow afternoon.