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DAJK

The "Wowza I can't believe we're already here" thread. DAJK's best and worst of 2016!

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I have this here as a placeholder thread to reserve my spot in a sense. I don't want to impede on @AABATTERY's list, so I'll start posting once they're done with their list :) (mods if you want this thread locked until then by all means). Until that time, I'm going to spend some time actually figuring out which films from this... special year were my favourite and least favourite. 

 

I don't want this list to be too too long so I'll do instead of my 20 best and 10 worst like last year, I'll do my 15 best and 5 worst (with an honourable mention post for each one). Why 15 and 5? Because you gotta be at least 3x as positive as negative! As it is, brace youraelves for one hell of a list that will probably include some obvious as well as a few controversial picks, and until that time, enjoy the other awesome lists our members have!

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13 minutes ago, rukaio101 said:

Sod! If I'd known we were allowed to placeholder our threads I would've done mine so I could go next...

I'm not 100% sure how it works but I think that's what I did last year and waited for another user to finish with their list.

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29 minutes ago, La La Panda said:

If you want to make sure you can go early, just pick a date and do it that date every year.

 

I've done mine on December 30th every year since I started doing it, so it's practically my reserved date now.

I was initially waiting hoping I could see say LaLa Land or Moonlight eyc before I do the list, but I've realized if I try and wait for everything I'll never do the list. So (unless I see them in the next few days/week) I won't have La La Land, Patriots Day, Hidden Figures, Moonlight, Manchester By the Sea etc :(

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Alright, so here's just a somewhat quick post just listing off some movies I had planned to see before making this list. Honestly, I'm only going to include ones I was heavily anticipating or expecting to maybe make this list, or both. So I won't be including Collateral Beauty, or Why Him on this. The majority of these films I probably will end up seeing, whether 3 weeks from now, 3 months from now, or 3 years from now. So just in case (and there certainly will be) any big omits here, here's a post really clarifying why :)

 

Omit #1

La La Land

Image result for la la land poster

The problem of living in a small town, as well as working tons over the holiday. While I'm expecting to see this sometime in January, we rarely or even ever get a movie if it is still in even semi limited release. La La Land looks incredible, and it very well may have made my list if I worked at a theatre in Vancouver. As it stands, this will be one of those "what if's" i'll just have to live with. I can't go too in depth with this movie (or really any on my list) as I have not seen them.

 

 

 

Omit #2

Patriot's Day

 

Image result for patriots day poster

 

Another movie that my theatre probably won't get until mid-January, I wasn't too sure about this after seeing the trailer, but as more and more positive reactions began to flow in my anticipation level rose considerably (as well as my disappointment that it does not open wide until the 13th). If Deepwater Horizon or Lone Survivor are any indication, I may wish to re-visit my personal best-of list a few weeks from now.

 

 

 

Omit #3

Hidden Figures

 

Image result for hidden figures poster

 

Another film I wasn't too hyped for initially, but positive reactions have reassured me that this could have been a major player on my list. Hopefully the wide release this coming Friday allows me to see this as soon as possible.

 

 

 

Omit #4

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

 

Image result for billy lynn poster

 

While positive reviews did not come with this film, some of you may remember how incredibly excited I was for this movie (and how equally disappointed I was when the wide release did not pan out). This may have not even come close to my Top 15, but I'm still going to make sure I see Billy Lenn's Long Halftime Walk someday. 

 

 

 

Omit #5

Moonlight & Manchester By the Sea

 

Image result for moonlight poster

Image result for manchester by the sea poster

 

Both of these will be major Oscar players, and are probably incredible films. But there was no way I would be able to see either of these given how limited they were unless I decided to stream them online (which I'm more or less again). 

 

edit: forgot to add Hell or High Water onto this, wanted to keep it down to 5 but I couldn't decide between Moonlight or Manchester so I cheated a bit already...

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The Dis-honorable Mentions; Worst of 2016

 

 

Dis-honorable Mention #1

Now You See Me 2

 

Image result for now you see me 2 poster

 

The first Now You See Me was alright in my opinion, and was a nice little surprise of a film box to see as well as a box office run to follow. This sequel is a prime example where the filmmakers tried to make everything "bigger and better" but where bigger and better fell straight flat on its face. The writing was lazy, the direction was frantic, and not a single character held my attention for even a second. The film, I will admit, had a few redeeming qualities that kept it off my bottom 5; namely the charismatic and talented cast who all admittedly did a fine job with this slog of a script, and one very cool scene involving a playing card and some extremely dumb security guards. Now You See Me 2 is the equivalent of taking all you markers and scribbling on top of each other in an attempt to make a cool new sexy color, but ending up with a brown mess on your paper. I would have liked to see this film succeed in being an equally diverting and reasonably entertaining caper like the first film, but a few cool scenes weren't enough to same the movie from its doomed script. And ohmygod did that ending NOT work for me :(

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So I wanted to do all my dis-honorable mentions in one post but I was sort of rushed because I didn't want to be late for work. So anyways here's one longer post with a bunch of other bad, bad, BAD movies that I guess I just didn't hate enough to put in my bottom 5. 

 

Dis-honorable Mention #2

How to be Single

 

Image result for how to be single poster

 

I was almost ready to not even include this on my list at all because I don't want to trash a film that I'm just not the target audience for. But then I looked back on some other romantic comedies; I LOVED the Proposal, and even some bad ones such as Did You Hear About the Morgans I was able to enjoy to an extent. But How to be Single is just so dull, boring, and bland that 2 hours felt like 6. Not a single character was interesting (and many were just extremely annoying), I did;t care one bit for any of the overstuffed side plots of the movie, nor did I care for the main story involving Dakota Johnson. The film was also painfully unfunny, which was really disappointing to me given that the trailer had actually gotten me pretty excited to see it. Even seeing it with a really cute girl from school didn't help, because I'm pretty sure she hated it too. Worth going though ;)

 

 

 

Dis-honorable Mention #3

Triple 9

 

afImage result for triple 9 poster

 

 

This movie should have been great! Or at least really good! While I never thought the trailers were anything exceptional, the stacked cast (as pretty badass poster) captured my interest at the very least. In reality however, Triple 9 was a boring slugfest of a film that, while fairly competently made, was one of the most boring movies I have ever seen in a theatre. There wasn't anything here that was so stupid it made me laugh, nor was there really anything I could rip apart about this movie; the problem was there was nothing at all to the film! Nothing happened of interest, no scene, no matter how "exciting" it was supposed to be kept my interest for more than a few moments, and I honestly forgot the names of every single character the second I got out of my seat. The only thing memorable about Triple 9 was one scene where an unnamed guard had his feet or something blown off (see? I don't even know if I even remember THAT scene correctly). I was planning a double feature with Hail Caesar, but was so bored after watching this I just decided to call it a night.

 

 

 

Dis-honorable Mention #4

The Mechanic: Resurrection

 

Image result for mechanic resurrection poster

 

Lol @ this movie. I honestly have no words. Um... the pool scene featured on the poster wasn't as bad as the rest of the movie I guess? I actually had to pretend to like this movie when I was taking my road test to get my driver's license. The evaluator was some old guy, and because they always have to make conversation he asked where I worked. I replied the movie theatre so he went on about this "Mechanic movie" he saw with his wife last week and thought it was incredible. I didn't want to get on the guy's bad side, so I straight up lied through my teeth that everyone was loving it and people were coming back to watch it twice. Sad thing is he replied that he indeed was planning on going again.

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#5 Worst Movie of 2016

Ride Along 2

 

Image result for ride along 2 poster

 

Rotten Tomatoes score: 14%

Domestic Box Office: $90.9 million

 

So I had the first Ride Along in my worst of 2014 list, but by comparison, that movie looks like a classic John Hughes coming of age comedy. I guess with basically having unlimited free movie passes gives you the idea that "hey, seeing Ride Along 2 might be a good idea!" It's like being drunk on power, and sometimes you just make bad choices. This movie was even more boring and even less funny than the above mentioned How to be Single. Not a single joke landed, not a single story thread led anywhere interesting, and not one of the talented actors in this movie were used to their full, or even half their potential. Ice Cube can be great in movies (21 Jump Street), Kevin Hart can work in comedies (Central Intelligence) but neither of them can unfortunately compensate for the worst cash-grab sequel of 2016. The movie wants to be a buddy-cop comedy? Well it certainly fails at being a good, interesting cop movie, and it fails even worse at being a comedy.  

 

 

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#4 Worst Movie of 2016

Zoolander 2

Image result for zoolander 2 poster

 

Rotten Tomatoes score: 23%

Domestic box office: $28.8 million

 

I didn't hate the first Zoolander by any means; while I did not fall in love with the film for sure, I could call it a borderline "Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes" on a good day. It was dopey and stupid, but it was also kind of charming and funny. From the trailers at least, Zoolander 2 looked like more of the same. I wasn't super excited, but I was confident the film would at least perform decently well at the box office, and I certainly wasn't expecting it to suck the giant hairy balls that it did. God this movie was plain awful; it wasn't just unfunny like Ride Along 2, but it was borderline insulting at times. Working at the theatre I obviously encountered a few people who enjoyed the film, but they were honestly few and far between. The writing was atrocious, the acting was dopey (everyone was just trying too hard to recapture former "glory") and the camera work was terrible. I saw this the same day as How to Be Single, and I'm just glad I did not make the same girl come see two of the crappiest movies of the year with me. Please Ben Stiller, just go back to being Walter Mitty (my favourite film from 2013 and one of the decade's most underrated pictures). The funniest thing from this movie was the night I was doing theatre checks and one couple just got so bored in the back that she just started giving him a handjob. Not my proudest moment as an usher (like, what was I supposed to say :lol: ).

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#3 Worst Movie of 2016

Assassin's Creed

Image result for assassin's creed movie poster

 

Rotten Tomatoes score: 17%

Domestic box office: $42.4 million

 

You know, I thought Warcraft was pretty passable, but also kind of lame. "Well, at least it's a step in the right direction for video game movies, let's see what Assassin's Creed can do to build on that." Sorry gamers, but what little Warcraft did to help the case for video game movies, Assassin's Creed obliterated that and then some. Mygod what a stinker of a film. I wasn't a fan of Kurzel's Macbeth, and the music in the trailers seemed like an odd choice, but I was excited to see some (what looked like) pretty epic historical action. The visual look of the film was sleek, sexy, and inviting. Too bad the actual movie turned out to be bland, boring, incomprehensible, and overall terrible. When it was at its best I would think "okay... a little slow to start, but let's see where this goes." At its worst, I thought to myself "if I'm going to ever punish my future kids, I'm going to make them watch this movie. If they've done something really bad, they're watching it twice." Assassin's Creed is one of the most boring, mind-numbing, and annoying action films ever. Any and all scenes set in present day either made no sense to me or were just not interesting, causing me to say "when are we going back to the 15th Century already??" But when we did get to travel back in time, we were given horribly shot action that did every annoying trick in the book to keep the movie a PG-13; quick cuts as prevalent as Taken 3, shaky cam that reminded me of the Cornucopia scene of the Hunger Games or Jason Bourne (but much, much worse). And who even is the chick in the picture above? Did the movie explain her at all to me? No. Do I really care? No! Guys, it's a bad movie, don't go see it okay? :)  

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#2 Worst Movie of 2016

Norm of the North

Image result for norm of the north poster

 

Rotten Tomatoes score: 9%

Domestic box office: $17.1 million

 

"With great power, comes great responsibility. Remember that DAJK." Sorry Uncle Ben, I guess having a theatre Staff Card, I should be responsible enough not to go out and see garbage like Norm of the North. It sort of started as a joke, when we got our bookings in for the upcoming week and I saw that we had gotten this and Ride Along 2 instead of 13 hours (which I was pretty excited for at the time). It was a slow Thursday night shift, and me and one other girl were closing concession and we saw our manager putting up the letters for Norm of the North above one of the auditorium doors, and we proceeded to beg to do a midnight staff screening. But at that point I kind of decided I was going to see this movie, if only to laugh at how bad it is. What's worse is I made one of my friends suffer through this instead of going alone (to be fair, she was laughing pretty hard about how bad it was so I guess she enjoyed it). Ohmygod, I just don't understand how they can subject kids to this crap! I went for a matinee and the auditorium was surprisingly packed (maybe 70% full, really one of the only busy shows we had for this stinkpile). The animation looks like it belongs in a middle school digital media class, the jokes belong under the wheels of a World War 2 army tank, and the script should have been on board the second Death Star during the Battle of Endor. Honestly, the only reason this isn't my #1 worst film of the year is because the fact that this was initially supposed to be a direct to DVD release, I wasn't supposed to have seen it, and I should save my #1 spot for a film I equally hated but was a bigger studio film than this (as well as to stir up a bit of controversy as my #1 isn't necessairly a film everyone hated). Sorry for rambling in my write-ups for these worst-of movies; they don't deserve actual reviews in my opinion ;)

 

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The stinkiest of them all...

worst of the worst (in the words of Viola Davis)

The #1 Worst Movie of 2016 (at least in my humble opinion)

Keanu

Image result for keanu poster poster

 

Rotten Tomatoes score: 76%

Domestic box office: $20.6 million

 

Probably the most controversial film on this list, I disliked Keanu probably more than anyone on these boards. Now, to preface, I don't dislike Key and Peele, I enjoy their work for the most part and find them legitimately funny at times. But unlike something like Mr. Bean which can be hilarious in short bursts, but can also work as a feature length film, this dreadful Key and Peele movie became downright annoying after about 5 minutes. I didn't find a single joke funny in this movie, I didn't think a single scenario was entertaining, and I honestly think these guys could have done so much better. That's right, I even thought this cute cat movie was worse that 2016's other cute cat movie Nine Lives (which barely escaped my dis-honorable mentions as it is). My mind goes blank when I try to remember specific examples of things I hated about this movie, because I pretty much zoned out after realizing what I was in for. 2016 offered up some pretty awful movies, and while I guess Keanu may not be as incompetently made as some of the other films that came out this year, I did not see another film this year that I personally disliked more than Keanu. It was, actually, the first time I ever walked out of a movie. Who knows? Maybe if I had stayed the last 30 minutes the movie could have redeemed itself out of my #1 spot, but I just wasn't willing to give it the chance, you've only got one life and I stupidly decided to spend hours of mine watching so crappy movies this year. Am I going to learn my lesson? Probably not. Am I going to see some equally terrible movies this year? Well, Underworld is this Friday so...

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There you guys are! My least favourite movies of this past year. I'll start with my best-of tomorrow after school, which I'll probably kick off with a few honourable mentions. Why have honourable mentions and then a top 15 least instead of just doing a top 20? Because I wanted to do a top 15 and I'm just a "stubborn guy" - my ex

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It's not exactly a good movie but I laughed more during Keanu than Popstar.  The core is basically a sitcom episode of material stretched out to movie length but there's quite good performance by Keegan-Michael Key,  a couple of very funny bits and the George Michael bit was GOLD.

 

 

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