Tulip Fever | September 1, 2017 | Weinstein | Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne star

[BoxOfficeFangrl]

Pros:

 

Good turns from Tom Hollander and Holliday Grainger, Jack O'Connell wasn't bad , either

Unexpected racial diversity (just with a supporting character and background actors but still more than 99% of movies of this ilk)

 

 

Cons:

 

Chemistry-free leads (especially bad when the movie's other young lovers actually do generate heat)

Idiot Plots galore

Military Metaphors + Sex Scenes = Major Cringe

Everything about Zach Galifianakis

 

 

4/10 (really 3/10 but I gave it an extra point for the diverse casting)

Edited September 3, 2017 by BoxOfficeChica

[Jake Gittes]

25 minutes ago, BoxOfficeChica said:

 

Military Metaphors + Sex Scenes = Major Cringe

 

 

lmao expand on this

[BoxOfficeFangrl]

12 minutes ago, Jake Gittes said:

 

lmao expand on this

If you really want to know...

 

Spoiler

Whenever the Christoph Waltz character is ready for sex—well, after he takes a lengthy piss in the chamber pot and rolls straight onto Vikander, so hot—he pronounces that his "little soldier" is ready for action and makes his move, this happens multiple times including once when Alicia is giving him a handjob (under the covers so you don't see anything). There's actually a whole sequence of him taking a leak, coming onto Alicia about his little soldiers, followed by the two of them praying together, the whole sequence happening like 3-4 times in a row. Another time we see them in bed, he's thrusting while she's on top of him and he screams that his cannon is about to go off.

 

I covered my face, half from embarrassment and the other to hide my laughter. But Vikander has on a nice nightgown during all these scenes, I have to say.

[filmlover]

7 minutes ago, BoxOfficeChica said:

If you really want to know...

 

  Hide contents

Whenever the Christoph Waltz character is ready for sex—well, after he takes a lengthy piss in the chamber pot and rolls straight onto Vikander, so hot—he pronounces that his "little soldier" is ready for action and makes his move, this happens multiple times including once when Alicia is giving him a handjob (under the covers so you don't see anything). There's actually a whole sequence of him taking a leak, coming onto Alicia about his little soldiers, followed by the two of them praying together, the whole sequence happening like 3-4 times in a row. Another time we see them in bed, he's thrusting while she's on top of him and he screams that his cannon is about to go off.

 

I covered my face, half from embarrassment and the other to hide my laughter. But Vikander has on a nice nightgown during all these scenes, I have to say.

[WrathOfHan]

19 minutes ago, BoxOfficeChica said:

If you really want to know...

 

  Hide contents

Whenever the Christoph Waltz character is ready for sex—well, after he takes a lengthy piss in the chamber pot and rolls straight onto Vikander, so hot—he pronounces that his "little soldier" is ready for action and makes his move, this happens multiple times including once when Alicia is giving him a handjob (under the covers so you don't see anything). There's actually a whole sequence of him taking a leak, coming onto Alicia about his little soldiers, followed by the two of them praying together, the whole sequence happening like 3-4 times in a row. Another time we see them in bed, he's thrusting while she's on top of him and he screams that his cannon is about to go off.

 

I covered my face, half from embarrassment and the other to hide my laughter. But Vikander has on a nice nightgown during all these scenes, I have to say.

[That One Girl]

lmfao

[Jake Gittes]

48 minutes ago, BoxOfficeChica said:

If you really want to know...

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Whenever the Christoph Waltz character is ready for sex—well, after he takes a lengthy piss in the chamber pot and rolls straight onto Vikander, so hot—he pronounces that his "little soldier" is ready for action and makes his move, this happens multiple times including once when Alicia is giving him a handjob (under the covers so you don't see anything). There's actually a whole sequence of him taking a leak, coming onto Alicia about his little soldiers, followed by the two of them praying together, the whole sequence happening like 3-4 times in a row. Another time we see them in bed, he's thrusting while she's on top of him and he screams that his cannon is about to go off.

 

I covered my face, half from embarrassment and the other to hide my laughter. But Vikander has on a nice nightgown during all these scenes, I have to say.

 

Incredible. Thank you

[CJohn]

1 hour ago, BoxOfficeChica said:

If you really want to know...

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Whenever the Christoph Waltz character is ready for sex—well, after he takes a lengthy piss in the chamber pot and rolls straight onto Vikander, so hot—he pronounces that his "little soldier" is ready for action and makes his move, this happens multiple times including once when Alicia is giving him a handjob (under the covers so you don't see anything). There's actually a whole sequence of him taking a leak, coming onto Alicia about his little soldiers, followed by the two of them praying together, the whole sequence happening like 3-4 times in a row. Another time we see them in bed, he's thrusting while she's on top of him and he screams that his cannon is about to go off.

 

I covered my face, half from embarrassment and the other to hide my laughter. But Vikander has on a nice nightgown during all these scenes, I have to say.

I might have to go see this now tbh.

[That One Girl]

Definitely gonna rent this now.  Alicia Vikander is super beautiful so it's not like the film should be hard to watch outside of those scenes, but one way or another they sound too good to pass up.

[BoxOfficeFangrl]

6 minutes ago, CJohn said:

I might have to go see this now tbh.

Overall, it's not bad enough to be a good bad movie, it's mostly dull with a lot of characters taking stupid pills for the story to work. If you have a cheap matinee price where you are, that's the most I'd recommend a person to spend if seeing it in theaters.

 

Forgot to mention the poor editing, it is very obviously sliced and diced, especially where the "love story" for Dane and Alicia is concerned.

[CJohn]

2 minutes ago, BoxOfficeChica said:

Overall, it's not bad enough to be a good bad movie, it's mostly dull with a lot of characters taking stupid pills for the story to work. If you have a cheap matinee price where you are, that's the most I'd recommend a person to spend if seeing it in theaters.

 

Forgot to mention the poor editing, it is very obviously sliced and diced, especially where the "love story" for Dane and Alicia is concerned.

I checked the release date here, and it only opens in mid October There will be better stuff to see at that time. 

[BoxOfficeFangrl]

Oh, and as for the sex/nudity, because I guess that might be a factor in whether some of you guys ever bother with this  :

 

Spoiler

The scene in the red band trailer is the only actual sex scene for Alicia/Dane, though there is naked post-coital lounging from her other times

 

Two other couples besides the main one also have sex scenes: Holliday Grainger and Cara Delevingne also join in the T&A fun (lol, not with each other!). Butt shots from the guys (Dane, Jack O'Connell and Coach Schuster Matthew Morrison) but nothing more.

 

The Waltz/Vikander sex scenes don't involve nudity, mercifully.

 

[filmlover]

14 minutes ago, BoxOfficeChica said:

Oh, and as for the sex/nudity, because I guess that might be a factor in whether some of you guys ever bother with this  :

 

  Hide contents

The scene in the red band trailer is the only actual sex scene for Alicia/Dane, though there is naked post-coital lounging from her other times

 

Two other couples besides the main one also have sex scenes: Holliday Grainger and Cara Delevingne also join in the T&A fun (lol, not with each other!). Butt shots from the guys (Dane, Jack O'Connell and Coach Schuster Matthew Morrison) but nothing more.

 

The Waltz/Vikander sex scenes don't involve nudity, mercifully.

 

Sounds like

 

Spoiler

everybody gets naked at some point except Zach Galifianakis (praise the lord for that). 

 

[BoxOfficeFangrl]

17 minutes ago, filmlover said:

Sounds like

 

  Hide contents

everybody gets naked at some point except Zach Galifianakis (praise the lord for that). 

 

 

It was an embarrassing enough performance as it was, without adding nudity to it! Also Judi Dench keeps her wimple firmly in place.

 

You know, if the main couple had any heat at all, the "year's sexiest thriller" talk wouldn't have been completely false advertising, just marginally false which is par for the course with Hollywood. You wonder if directors can tell during filming that they've miscast a major role but it's too late to do anything about it? With the troubled history and not-huge budget, it's not like Weinstein or Chadwick had the luxury to give Dane DeHaan an Eric Stoltz, Stuart Townsend-style heave ho after 2-3 weeks.

Edited September 4, 2017 by BoxOfficeChica

[shayhiri]

It's opening in Bulgaria final weekend of October - as ingenious counter-programming against Ragnarok.

 

It was a huge debate for the Shay which one to see - but now I've decided in favour of the Flower Power.

Edited September 6, 2017 by shayhiri