The Dark Tower (2017)

[baumer]

Discuss

[Deep Wang]

 

 

[That One Girl]

Hilariously bad.  You can tell how much of a Tom Rothman product this is.  A shame too, because the world this movie sets up is very interesting.  Could've been far better in the right hands (you know, not being helmed by a little known director in his first tentpole movie affair, or not being so obviously micromanaged as all hell).

 

D

[4815162342]

As a movie movie, it isn't bad, just generic and mediocre.

 

 

As an adaptation, it is not good at all. This should not have been some quasi-tentpole offering trying to capitalize on the YA protagonist trend. The first novel is an R-rated gritty fever dream, and this is commercialized PG-13 that ends up feeling mostly bland. Which is a shame, because the whole point of the film was to present a new cycle of the novels plotline, but they went so far afield in putting their own stamp and vision on the premise that they utterly miss the tone, style, feel, etc.

[The Panda]

The movie is fine, the real crime isn't that it's atrocious filmmaking but that it's a waste of truly great potential.

 

It didn't even need to be a direct adaption of  the first book, it just should have been an introduction into an awesome universe created by Stephen King.  The real flaw with the movie is it feels like it's trying to introduce people to a sprawling 7 novel series, featuring a lifetime rivalry between two characters, while also trying to be the disappointing conclusion/culmination of them at the same time, while also only being 90 minutes.

 

Theres not enough time to even scratch surface level with the characters, and so it comes off as cliche instead of a weird yet epic mashup of the fantasy genre.  It's way to tame when it really should have gone wild.  It lacks inspiration, which just cannot happen when you're trying to adapt a book series that's full of it.

 

Matthew McConnoughey and Idris Elba are great as the title characters and really give into the nature of their roles.  However the filmmakers and actors around them don't, which makes for a wash.  

 

The movie's fine when you watch it, but you can't help but just sit back and think how it's a giant heap of missed potential.

 

C-

[DAJK]

Not sure where else I can post spoilers, even though this isn't a spoiler, I don't want to risk getting threadbanned. But while I'm at it the movie was pretty decent, I enjoyed the majority of it.

 

B

 

BUT ANYWAYS, I was so pissed when Mcconaughey said "alrighty" as one of his lines. DAMMIT MOVIE YOU WERENT GETTING GOOD REVIEWS ANYWAYS YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST HAVE WINKED TO THE AUDIENCE AND HAVE HIM SAY "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT"

[baumer]

I'm a pretty big King fan and yet I have never read any of his Dark Tower stuff so I had no point of reference going into this.  And I guess that's probably why I liked it quite a bit.  I could have used some more backstory on The Man in Black and the Gunslinger.  I know TMiB is Randall Flagg but it would have been good if this could have been touched on.  If the film was closer to 2 hours instead of 90 minutes, it would have been better.  But still, I liked the good old fashion story of good vs evil.  Elba and McConnaughey are terrific and I enjoyed their chemistry, even if they were only on screen together a few times.  The story is pretty interesting and I love that it took place in the modern world and in different worlds.  

 

I also loved all the Easter eggs for other King works.  The Shining was hugely represented as Jake had the Shine and the Overlook Hotel was in the picture.  Christine made an appearance as did Cujo.  Misery and the poster from Shawshank was there as well.  1408 was written above the portal in NY as well.  And then there was the big one in the forest when Jake comes across an old amusement park that says Pennywise and there is balloons there as well...in statue form.

 

Dark Tower is good but could have been great.

 

7.5/10

[CJohn]

It was perfectly enjoyable. McConaughey was in a different movie and that is also a fine thing.

[WrathOfHan]

Terrible film. The color grading especially stands out as shit. It's the blandest looking film I've seen in a long ass time. 2/10 | D

[Goffe]

I mean, I have seen bigger, stinkier turds. There were moments where I was engrossed so it's not a total failure. 40/100

[Blankments]

The Dark Tower is an adaptation that constantly insults its source material. I'm a firm believer on judging a film on its own, and not in comparison to what it's adapting, but The Dark Tower cannot divorce the long shadow of King's books from its criticism. Gone is the fantasy-western setting, replaced with a stale young-adult fantasy "chosen one" story. Roland isn't the main character; it's boring Jake. Walter, the man in black, has lost all of his naturally evil charisma, replaced with dull jokes and a boring plan.

 

It's not a good film in general, but compared to the one-and-a-third books of the series I've read, it's offensively bad. Elba is consistently good as Roland though, and there's a scene in the beginning of the third act that proves that both McConaughey and he are very well-cast. It's just the film surrounding them that's terrible, and the fact they're both wasted here feels like the film is spitting in our face. The Dark Tower is a waste of time for everyone involved, and a terrible film that likely has killed the chances for this property to ever get adapted to any other media. A downright embarrassment of a film. D-

[The Stingray]

I remember reading that King wanted the Dark Tower story to be as majestic as The Good, the Bad & the Ugly and The Lord of the Rings. It is anything but. Bland and generic are better words to describe it.
 

Edited August 4, 2019 by The Stingray