Rukaio's Reviews: Year 9 (Competition Time!)

[rukaio101]

It’s Octoberfest! And, with us going into Oscar season, reviews are more important now than ever. Expect to see my Top 25 once I’ve finished reviewing Q4’s films, as well as a bit of pre-Oscar speculation.

 

 

Allegiant- C

 

Wiki C&P

 

 

Forgotten Sound- C-/D+

 

Not a fan of David O. Russell and even then, this film seems pretty pretentious without much substance or content to back it up. Take this quote.

 

“Jocelyn's world first shattered, when she had an inkling that maybe happiness wasn't on her path, or her own.”

 

What the fuck does that even mean? No really, what the fuck does that mean? And the entire thing is written like this. We don't get any reasons as to why any of them are depressed or in turmoil or whatever, they just are, because 'deep'.

 

 

Lord of the Flies- B/B+

 

Despite Alpha pulling off an entertaining adaptation last year with The Giver, this seems to lack something that film does. Maybe it’s some of the awkward dialogue. Maybe it’s the fact it sticks so closely to the source material, even in moments that seem goofy when translated to modern film. Maybe it’s just because I’m not that big a fan of Lord of the Flies. Whatever reason, it just didn’t ring with me the same way The Giver did.

 

That said, it’s still a very competent adaptation and there’s really not much I can fault it for. 

 

 

Cabin Fever- F

 

Not related to the Eli Roth film although, by the end of this movie, I was praying for a flesh-eating virus to afflict the cast.

 

 

An Odd Road Trip- C-

 

Is… Is this the Spongebob Movie? Did you just rewrite the Spongebob movie and change all the names? That’s a new one, even for you, Blank.

 

 

Silent Invasion The Final Chapter- C-

 

Well, thank god that series is finally over. That said, this one wasn’t quite as terrible as some of the previous films. But it wasn't exactly good. And trying to film an apocalyptic movie with only a $15m budget is never going to go very well.

 

 

Hateful Eight Redux- B-/C+

 

It’s a definite improvement over the original draft I read, at least in terms of pacing and no longer feeling overcrowded, but it still feels far too much like a substandard Chuck Norris/Liam Neeson flick than a Tarantino movie. Also, as I mentioned, a lot of Tarantino’s team were really annoying and unfunny (although I give you credit for toning down Bay a bit from the first draft). And the meta jokes just got so tiring after a while. 

 

Also, I’m kinda surprised you didn’t reinsert Nolan for a cameo in there somewhere.

[4815162342]

Lot of mixed to negative reviews? Yep, Rukaio's back and we should all be afraid.

 

Good to finally have someone who's even more consistently critical than me.

[Rorschach]

Somebody on the David Hernie hate train.

By the way Blank, I Almost cast David Hernie as Telemachus in The Odyssey but I just couldn't envision him that well in the role . Good news though, he may get a cameo as one of the 108 suitors.

[Blankments]

An Odd Road Trip is a filler, and I'm very proud of my unique take on the subject matter

 

Also, LOL at your Hateful Eight review. Even though you were negative on the first draft, the way you said there was a lot of good stuff in it made me think that draft was a B. Guess not. (And I'd like to point out also that ever since announcing H8R, I've said it was me transplanting my Chuck and Liam movies to a more Oscar-contending level)

[rukaio101]

Lot of mixed to negative reviews? Yep, Rukaio's back and we should all be afraid.

And that sums up November's reviews for you all.

 

 

Watch Dogs- B-

 

I’ll admit I gave this a lot of slack for some confusing moments and questionable sentencing since it’s obvious English isn’t CJohn’s first language. That said, this is still a pretty generic action movie with bland characters and it goes on longer than it probably should do. But hey, I'm okay with generic action movies so I can't hate this entirely. That said, it makes Die Hard 4 look downright accurate in its portrayal of hacking.

 

 

A Midsummer’s Night Dream- C

 

Not entirely sure why you expected this to be a candidate for Best Adapted Screenplay, Alpha, considering it’s a C&P of a Sparknotes summary.

 

 

A Series of Unfortunate Events: Movie the Fifth- C

 

Wiki C&P

 

 

The Beast of Loch Ness- C+

 

This story feels like a 30 minute kids TV show episode premise stretched out into a feature length film. Heck, there's barely any 2nd act here. We just go straight from 1st act to climax. Speaking of, there’s a remarkable amount of disconnect between the first third and the rest of the movie. Most of the kids who appear at the campfire never appear again (which makes Eathan apologizing to Connor’s parents for his apparent death at the end all the more confusing). And the whole ‘hit the opposite of the weak spot’ advice Tavish gives near the beginning (which, by the way, is terrible advice for a fight) never comes up, despite being rather obvious foreshadowing. Also, for a movie called 'The Beast of Loch Ness', said Beast really doesn’t appear much. We only get to see it attack at the beginning and at the climax. Not to mention, the ‘humans are bastards’ message at the end was shoehorned in and very cheesy.

 

That said, it looked very pretty and had a good score. So good for it.

 

 

The Special Effects Team 2- C

 

Eh. Not the worst filler concept I’ve seen this year.

 

 

The Little Drummer Boy- B

 

Bit lacking in story, but otherwise a harmless and enjoyable Christmas fable.

[ChD]

The Beast of Loch Ness- C+

 

This story feels like a 30 minute kids TV show episode premise stretched out into a feature length film. Heck, there's barely any 2nd act here. We just go straight from 1st act to climax. Speaking of, there’s a remarkable amount of disconnect between the first third and the rest of the movie. Most of the kids who appear at the campfire never appear again (which makes Eathan apologizing to Connor’s parents for his apparent death at the end all the more confusing). And the whole ‘hit the opposite of the weak spot’ advice Tavish gives near the beginning (which, by the way, is terrible advice for a fight) never comes up, despite being rather obvious foreshadowing. Also, for a movie called 'The Beast of Loch Ness', said Beast really doesn’t appear much. We only get to see it attack at the beginning and at the climax. Not to mention, the ‘humans are bastards’ message at the end was shoehorned in and very cheesy.

 

That said, it looked very pretty and had a good score. So good for it.

 

I pretty much agree with that. It was written in a rush without a basic plan laid out. I never re-wrote it, despite having a few attempts before giving up and posting it as it was.

[Alpha]

Anticipating your review of Because the Internet.

[Rorschach]

December should have better scores. Just predicting.

[rukaio101]

And it looks like I'm done for the year. Before you ask, yes I am somewhat rushing to get these out of the way since I've got Uni deadlines coming up soon and I wanted to get all of this out of the way nice and quickly. Expect me to have my top 25 up in a few days depending on when I feel like doing it.

 

 

 The House of Atreus- B+

 

In a rather shocking twist, my biggest problem with this Numerator Pictures production is that it’s too long. I know, I know. I usually never harp on about these things.

 

Okay, to be fair, that’s actually a pretty big oversimplification. It’s not so much the length that bothers me rather than the very bizarre pacing. Now, the first third/half was fine. In fact, it was better than fine. Had it kept up that quality, this would probably be my favourite of the year. The relationship between Atreus and Thyestes was interesting and they were both fully realized characters. We got to see Atreus’s rise and the eventual falling out and it was all great. And then…. the time-skip happened. And it turned out that whole first part, which must’ve been best part of an hour or so, was all just set up for Aegisthus’s story. I won’t lie, that made me go ‘Huh?’. You’ve spent an entire hour introducing these characters, their relationship, building the tension between them for the eventual climax and… you end up reducing them to supporting characters in place of another who we haven’t followed as much and, quite frankly, is much less interesting. But, you know, I was willing to go along with it. Sure, I would’ve preferred to see another confrontation between the brothers for the climax, but okay, let’s have Aegisthus rise through the ranks so he can kill Atreus, even if it wasn’t as interesting as Atreus’s similar rise through the ranks. But then you did it again! You made the entire movie a set-up for Agamemnon and Menelaus’s story! And that was even less interesting than Aegisthus’s! Not to mention, not only are they far less interesting characters than Atreus and Thyestes but they’re the sons of the villain so we, as an audience, give even less of a crap about what happens about them! And the film just ends up repeating itself. Agamemnon’s relationship with Clytemnestra and the King of Sparta was so substandard compared to Atreus’s relationships with Aerope (one of the highlights of the first third/half (even if I thought Bonham Carter wasn’t the best casting choice)) and Eurystheus. The fight scenes weren’t as interesting in the latter half of the film. The stakes felt lower and less personal. It was a cheap copy of what the film once was.

 

Okay, to be fair to the film, I can understand what it was trying to do. It was trying to show a generational thing as the bonds of hatred and vengeance are passed down from father to son and etc etc. The problem is it put far too much effort and time at the beginning into Atreus and Thyestes’s relationships and characters and, as a result, all the focus characters after them just feel really substandard in comparison. Also, rant aside, it is a very good movie. Like I said, had the film not gone for the time-skip with Aegisthus, it probably would be my favourite of the year. And, had it not done it a second time with Agamemnon and Menelaus, it would’ve scored a solid A/A-. But it just didn’t know when to stop.

 

 

Shadow Entities- n/a

 

Can’t review this because it hasn’t been finished. And considering, it’s been three days since the deadline finished, it should probably be taken off the schedule. I mean, a deadline is a deadline for a reason. Maybe I’d feel more sympathetic to the whole ‘I’ll finish it later’ if you were finishing it that night. But it’s been 3 days. That’s well past the deadline.

 

 

Because the Internet- C

 

I don’t even know what the fuck to think of this. There’s not really any story that I can see, aside from a few flashes here and there. It’s bizarre and confusing but not in a good way like Train 48. There are so many characters, I have trouble keeping track of who was who and why I should care about any of them. Also, it’s jammed packed with so much slang, a lot of which already feels pretty outdated. Part of me thinks it was supposed to be deliberate but, if it was, it wasn’t handled that well.

 

I’ll admit, I’m loathe to give this a grade until I’ve thought through it a bit longer but, considering it was kind of a slog to read through, I’ll give it a standard C.

 

 

Beauty and the Beast- A-

 

It’s pretty much a straight retelling of the Disney movie but dammit, that film is a good one so I can't fault it too much. Also, I love me some John Hurt.

 

 

The Ice Diaries- B-

 

Relatively interesting filler concept.

 

 

The Once and Future King: The Ill-Made Knight- C

 

C&P

[4815162342]

Yeah I got a similar response from 1-2 people in the old CAYOM. I think it works pretty well but I get why it feels a bit disjointed.

 

My issue was that there isn't enough myth to really focus on one or two of the time periods, and in this case I had no time to edit since we needed a film ASAP. The following films should be better paced, since I will be drawing more directly from actual literary sources rather than a general mythology. I also wanted to keep it a trilogy rather than 5 films or something to break up all the time jumps.

 

 

I would say that the only major character you should truly feel for in the movie is Thyestes. Aegisthus starts out as the guy getting revenge and justice and by the end of the film he's on the path to the dark side. Agamemnon and Menelaus you should feel some sympathy for since while they're a bit entitled and dickish, they aren't "bad" people and were betrayed by someone they trusted. That's one thing I like about Greek mythology is that there are a lot of shades of gray, with few truly good heroes.

 

Given what will happen in the next installment. I think that one will put the back half of this film in a better light.

Edited November 19, 2014 by 4815162342

[cookie]

Yeah sorry about that, I kinda underestimated how much work left needed to do plus real life started throwing a lot of stuff in my direction so I couldn't get to work on it.

I'll take SE off the schedule and delay it to year 10.

Edited November 19, 2014 by C00k13

[Rorschach]

I'll be interested to see what Rukaio says for The Odyssey when I release. Maybe around the same grade probably. Point is, I'm going to work my ass off to make it extra good.

[Alpha]

I'll be interested to see what Rukaio says for The Odyssey when I release. Maybe around the same grade probably. Point is, I'm going to work my ass off to make it extra good.

*starts planning adaptation of The Illiad ASAP*

[Rorschach]

*starts planning adaptation of The Illiad ASAP*

That would be incredibly awkward as The Odyssey Part 1, for the most part, is mostly focused on The Trojan War.

[Blankments]

I knew not making B+TB a straight C&P was a good idea!

[rukaio101]

Just to note, I've decided I'm not going to do my Top 25 list until other people start doing some reviews. Partially because I'm wanting to see how some of my more Oscary films (C7, Battle of Brazil and SiP) are received and partially just because I'm sick of me and Numbers being the only ones who do reviews with any kind of regularity.

 

So if you're wanting to see how your films have ranked up in my favourites this year, get reviewing! And if enough people do so, I may try ranking every single film released this year.

[4815162342]

Starting Friday I will finish Q3 reviews and begin the Q4 judgment

[Rorschach]

Just to note, I've decided I'm not going to do my Top 25 list until other people start doing some reviews. Partially because I'm wanting to see how some of my more Oscary films (C7, Battle of Brazil and SiP) are received and partially just because I'm sick of me and Numbers being the only ones who do reviews with any kind of regularity.

 

So if you're wanting to see how your films have ranked up in my favourites this year, get reviewing! And if enough people do so, I may try ranking every single film released this year.

Will do so Friday after school.

[Blankments]

Just to note, I've decided I'm not going to do my Top 25 list until other people start doing some reviews. Partially because I'm wanting to see how some of my more Oscary films (C7, Battle of Brazil and SiP) are received and partially just because I'm sick of me and Numbers being the only ones who do reviews with any kind of regularity.

 

So if you're wanting to see how your films have ranked up in my favourites this year, get reviewing! And if enough people do so, I may try ranking every single film released this year.

I'd do reviews but I feel like revealing my opinion on movies before actuals is a bad idea (which is an attitude I've kept all "year")

[rukaio101]

I'd do reviews but I feel like revealing my opinion on movies before actuals is a bad idea (which is an attitude I've kept all "year")

Considering how few others seem to be doing it at the moment, you might as well.

 

I'm pretty sure people won't complain.... any more than they already have at your actuals. (I kid because I love)

Edited November 21, 2014 by Rukaio Alter