Rukaio's Reviews: Year 9 (Competition Time!)

[rukaio101]

Here's February's reviews.

 

Numbers Theory- A-

 

Very enjoyable Liam Neeson action thriller. Admittedly, I do think a few bits stretched on a bit long and there were a few moments that made me go ‘huh?’ (Why didn’t Shawn call the police as soon as he received that envelope with the dog whistle and the photos? And why didn’t Joao just shoot Shawn in the warehouse, rather than get his henchman to do it?) But the good more than outweighs the bad here.

 

Slenderman: The Search- C+

 

Not a particularly strong plot but it delivers enough on the scares.

 

Ice Desert- C+

 

Honestly… not as bad as I was expecting. Sure there are some… a lot of problems with it, including a confusing climax, a rather squicky cross-species romance and a distinct lack of explanation how a) Seala knew the ice was melting and b ) why it was melting in the first place. But, considering Films’s usual animated fare, it could’ve been a lot worse.

 

Sweet Disposition- C

 

Very very generic romance.

 

Walking Alone- A-

 

Surprisingly enjoyable and heartfelt apocalypse drama which works both as a standalone and a sequel. It does go a bit off the rails in the third act though.

 

Teen Titans- B

 

Pretty good. Yes there are issues here and there and the film suffers from introducing too many characters at once (and failing to develop a lot of them (especially the Titans who turn bad)) but they manage to establish the main five pretty well. And the action is, naturally, great.

 

The Best of You- B-

 

I wanted to give this higher because I really did enjoy it, but you skip over way too many important details. Why does Dawson’s family care about him dating Amanda? What funeral were Dawson and Amanda at when they met back up? And most importantly of all, why are Dawson’s cousins trying to kill him?! And why doesn’t Amanda just call the police on them? Also, there’s a disappointing lack of payoff with Amanda’s husband. There’s no confrontation between him and Dawson or Amanda. He just dies. Heck, there was no real need for that scene where he was found to be abusive.

 

Don’t get me wrong, it was very good, but you missed out some pretty important stuff. Also, ‘Now go live your life to the max’? What is this, a Pepsi commercial?

 

The Tudors- C

 

I don’t really care about Documentaries.

 

The Cave- C

 

I’m really not sure why Gareth Edwards was asked to do this one. Aside from that, it’s a decent mindfuckish horror, but pretty weak in terms of plot and characterisation. And the low budget hurts a lot of the scares.

 

Childhood Ruined 2- F

 

‘The sequel you didn’t ask for’ is right.

[4815162342]

Awesome sauce.

[Blankments]

I'm not doing reviews, but I'd like to say I completely agree with your take on Numbers Theory. Loved it

 

And yay for me saving Teen Titans

[Ezen Baklattan]

Glad you liked Walking Alone.

[Rorschach]

Yeah! A C grade! Then again, I made it intentionally like that. Also I couldn't really think of any TV directors to do the film so I just picked a person who could handle monsters well.

Edited June 22, 2014 by Rorschach

[Rorschach]

But hey, at least be glad I didn't make it found footage. I'm avoiding those for my horror movies like the plague (except for my adaption of 1999 which will probably help intensify the movie).

[Alpha]

Childhood Ruined 2- F‘The sequel you didn’t ask for’ is right.

Lol, I needed to fill up that date.

[rukaio101]

And here's March.

 

If…- C+

 

Reasonably fun animation with some good visuals. There are some major questions left unanswered though. Who gave Ryan the power to wish away Jeffrey in the first place? And if Dara can grant wishes to people with pure hearts (like Ryan and Rick) why don’t they use to solve… all of their problems? And how did they get back at the end? In addition, each of the three sections feel pretty disconnected from each other. Heck, you could cut the disco place entirely and nothing of value would be lost.

 

Island of Dreams- D+

 

For about 80/90% of the film nothing really happens. Or at least, nothing interesting. And while I can understand using that time to try and develop and get the audience to feel for the characters, the characters don’t feel very interesting either.  They mostly just mope around this boring island being artsy and pseudo-philosophical. And that works against the film when stuff actually starts happening. I’ve spent several days following this family, yet I can barely understand their motivations and really don’t care that much about what happens to them.

 

Conventionally Wiser- C

 

Generic Die Hard action movie. Which, you know, I normally love, but I’m not too fond of Antoine Fuqua’s action directing. You should’ve gone with Emmerich instead.

 

Where You Imagine- D+

 

Interesting premise ruined by a rather confused direction and completely out of nowhere, seriously-what-the-fuck cancer twist.

 

The Thin the Fat and the Felon- B+

 

Enjoyable Edgar Wright comedy with quite a few good laughs. Nathan Fillion was great.

 

Peace at Last- F

 

My god was this boring. So so boring. A collection of the most generic and uninteresting stories that only a two-year old might find in any way interesting.

 

The Red Pyramid- C-

 

It’s still too fucking long.

 

Our Future- D

 

The movie has a lot of serious WTF moments and a fair share of Unfortunate Implications if you see the aliens as representing immigrants. Also the movie seems to assume that USA=world. Speaking of, despite not being a US citizen, even I know that in order to become president you actually have to be born in the USA and that the President can't just rewrite the consitution without approval from Congress. Also also, the 'heroes' are pretty unlikable, willing to kill millions of innocents to get rid of aliens who we haven’t really seen do much villainous outside of a few lines in the opening narration. Also also also, the aliens have been on Earth long enough for one of them to become the president, but they don’t know what weapons are? WTF? Also also also also, did Jack consider that the aliens executed Jonathan because he blew up the fucking White House? Also also also also also, where the hell did they get a nuclear bomb from? And then the entire thing turns out to be a dream?! Or is it? What an utterly pointless twist ending.

[alisson23]

Too low score for Where you imagine, I was expecting a C+ 

Again the film was hampered by my English, first Madel, Remember me and now this. When I finished the story everything was fine until I have to translate

Edited June 22, 2014 by Blink23

[Dr Awesome]

For If....

But you see Ryan wished Jeffrey away, he had to earn the pure heart. The same goes for Rick, who was disconnected to his brother. As for how did he grant the wish and how did they get back. I should have explained that a lot better. But hey it's a kids movie, children will just be happy that Rick and Ryan are alive.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Island of Dreams was kind of meant to be self-parody. Just look at the summary of the film for pete's sake! These are exactly the reviews I was expecting.

[Blankments]

Nice Thin Fat Felon review!

 

I went with Fuqua as director just because he directed the first movie I do prefer Emmerich though

[rukaio101]

Here comes April!

 

Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs the Underworld- A

 

Lots of fun. What else can I say? Still don't think it'll do $60+ OW though.

 

Me & My Shadow- B-/B

 

Well, it’s better than the first draft I read (although you forgot to change Lucy’s name a couple of times and I saw a brief mention of Finnegan), in particular the climax which was a massive massive improvement (although the comedy club arrival was kinda stupid). That said, the second act of the movie is kinda on the boring side. Not many plot relevant events happen and any action scenes are far too short to be satisfying. And, like I said about the first draft, it doesn’t take much advantage of its animated nature. Seriously, up until the third act, I could easily see the entire thing taking place in live action with CG shadows. Also, like I also said about the first draft, Shadow Central is underused and kind of a wasted potential. Also major characters like Hale and Shadow Frances are underdeveloped and Sam himself is kinda bland and heavily outcharacterised by his own shadow (who, oddly enough, seems to have lost a bit of character since the first draft, albeit not too much).

 

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to like about it. The shadow effects are excellent and used in pretty inventive ways, Wisp is an interesting villain, Sam's Shadow is a likable character and, as mentioned, the climax is a lot of fun. But it feels a bit like wasted potential. Still better than the first draft.

 

Polybius- C

 

It’s a half-hour plot stretched to 90 minutes.

 

The Fifth Wave- B

 

At first, I was actually really enjoying this. It was an interesting premise and could’ve been a really interesting post-apocalyptic thriller with everyone paranoid of everyone and etc. And then Ben’s segments started. Don’t get me wrong, Ben’s segments aren’t bad. They just feel like they’re from a completely different movie. His and Cassie’s stories feel like two completely different films clumsily melded into one. In addition, Ben’s segments are brought in far too late in the film and end up making the second act feel like another first act.

 

That said, it’s hard to say I disliked this because both segments are done very competently. Were they separate movies, I’d probably enjoy them a lot more. They just don’t fit together at all that well.

 

Horror House 2- F

 

The first was So Bad it’s Good. This was just bad.

 

Portentious Dealing- C+

 

Has quite possibly the most predictable twist I’ve seen all year. And it’s by no means an accurate portrayal of DEA Border work. And I cringed every time Jim called John ‘a badass’. But it’s competently enough made and directed.

 

Return of the Last Six- B/B+

 

Okay, let me get this off my chest first quickly. A 50 years timeskip?! Really?! That’s ridiculously long for something that could’ve been achieved in 5. And, considering how much technology has changed in the last 10 years, there should be a huge huge difference in the world in terms of advancements and etc.

 

Okay, with that nitpick out of the way, I think Return is a strong improvement on the first Last Six movie. The team is much better balanced this time around, so it stops feeling like the Loki Show. Each teammate gets more of a characterisation and, while I’d like the movie to delve a lot deeper into the three mythologies involved, it’s not too major an issue. And Matt Smith is very well cast.

 

Ironically, my biggest problem with the film is the exact opposite of the first film. There’s not enough action. Compared to massive all out warfare of the first film, there’s barely any action scenes in the first two acts and the climax just isn’t as impressive. I’m hoping the next film can find a good balance between both the first two movies with just the right amount of character and action.

Edited July 26, 2014 by Rukaio Alter

[Blankments]

Nice reviews And good point on Last Six. I did the 50 year time skip for a really good reason; wanted to make the immortality of the gods be truly felt.

 

also to fuck with Numbers after he hated a decade timeskip in Expedecade 

 

[rukaio101]

Nice reviews And good point on Last Six. I did the 50 year time skip for a really good reason; wanted to make the immortality of the gods be truly felt.

 

also to fuck with Numbers after he hated a decade timeskip in Expedecade 

 

To be fair, I've read Expedecade and I'm kinda with Numbers on that one...

 

Probably not the wisest thing to say to the guy doing the totals, but why should I start being sensible now?

[ChD]

To be fair, I've read Expedecade and I'm kinda with Numbers on that one...

 

Probably not the wisest thing to say to the guy doing the totals, but why should I start being sensible now?

 

Whatcha talking about, dude!? Expedecade was amazingly good.

[Blankments]

To be honest, there's a lot of things I would change in Expedecade. The time jump not really being one of them (still think it was a fun choice), but in the story itself, there's a lot of stuff that could've been done better

[Rorschach]

Your review of The Last Six reminds me a lot of The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

[Dr Awesome]

Yeah I wasn't too sure on how things work in the DEA. But don't worry, my foreign language film will make up for it. It has nothing to do with DEA.

[Blankments]

Your review of The Last Six reminds me a lot of The Amazing Spider-Man 2.