CAYOM Comic-Con Year 9

[Rorschach]

Alright

[Blankments]

At the latest, mine will start at 9PM EST

[Empire]

I will do mine tomorrow sometime after everyone else is done.

[Blankments]

T-Minus 9 minutes

 

0:00-0:09 - Getting ready for the show to start! It’s really interest the set-up they have here though. There’s a giant triangle shaped screen in the center, and then two traditional screens on both sides of it.

[Blankments]

0:01 - The show is starting with Edward Nadny taking the stage. Rumors of his death have been greatly exaggerated, and he’s excited to announce the slate Blankments Productions has for the next few years.

 
0:02 - He’s talking about franchises and how they’ve always been the backbone of Blankments Productions. However, they love original films too, and as such, they’ll be talking about four announced original movies and four announced sequels, along with two surprise announcements; one original, and one sequel. Nadny wants to keep them on the audience on their toes, so first, a special trailer made just for Comic Con.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxabLA7UQ9k

Music:

 
We see a plane fly above the clouds.
 
SIX YEARS AGO
 
Chuck Norris exits the plane and looks around.
 
BLANKMENTS PRODUCTIONS INTRODUCED YOU TO TWO BADASSES
 
Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson tag-team fight Samuel L. Jackson. .
 
FIVE YEARS AGO
 
Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson are stuck in the Abominable Snowman’s jail.
 
TWO BADASSES RETURNED FOR MORE.
 
Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson tag-team the Abominable Snowman back-to-back.
 
FOUR YEARS AGO
 
Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson are at a campfire with Samuel L. Jackson, Jackie Chan, and Bruce Willis
 
BLANKMENTS PRODUCTIONS ENDED THE SERIES.
 
Chuck Norris runs to his wife and gives her a kiss as Liam Neeson watches on.
 
THREE YEARS AGO
 
Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson fight back-to-back against the onslaught of Giant Spiders.
 
TURNED OUT WE LIED.
 
Chuck Norris, Liam Neeson, and friends drive Santa’s sleigh into the moon.
 
TWO YEARS AGO
 
Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson race in a car.
 
WE GAVE YOU A CLIFFHANGER.
 
Liam Neeson dies in Chuck Norris’ arms.
 
A FEW MONTHS AGO
 
Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson fight the demons back-to-back.
 
WE GAVE YOU AN EVIL WORSE CLIFFHANGER.
 
Jamie Foxx rides in on Thomas the Tank Engine.
 
NEXT YEAR
 
Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson are in a car alone.
 
Chuck Norris: I’m sorry about this.
 
Liam Neeson: I know, but we’re the last hope the world has..
 
THEY’RE BACK FOR TWO LAST TIMES
 
Fade to black as the music abruptly changes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkRQuyYlzBk
 
AND IT’S TWO MEN AGAINST THE WORLD
 
Samuel L. Jackson and Jackie Chan stare at each other through separate jail cells. Nicolas Cage cries melodramatically. We see Mr. T explode in a firey abyss. Jessie Neeson (AnnaSophia Robb) hides in a ditch.
 
IN THE FRANCHISE FINALE OF THE DECADE (:38 of the music)
 
Chuck Norris: Do you have a grapple gun?
 
Liam Neeson: Fuck yeah.
 
Liam Neeson shoots the grapple gun as Chuck Norris grabs Neeson’s foot. The gun grabs onto Thomas the Tank Engine’s wheels, which spin around at super-sonic speed. Immediately, Norris and Neeson are sent flying into the next state, landing near Vegas. Before they die on impact, Neeson manages to go all Spider-Man on it, and swings with Neeson through Las Vegas.
 
WE’RE SERIOUS THIS TIME
 
Chuck Norris: We gotta stop Jamie Foxx.
 
Liam Neeson: No shit. But how?
 
Chuck Norris: I know a guy.
 
THIS IS DEFINITELY THE END
 
They walk into a casino and meet Richard Zhang (Ken Watanabe).
 
Richard: You must find Santa Claus, the Goddess of Pure Good and the Goddess of Eh, She’s Cool I Guess. Only then can they recreate Satan and the four gods can fix the universe.
 
Liam Neeson: Sounds like that Last Six movie a bit.
 
Suddenly, Zhang is impaled from behind by a grapevine. Dionysius (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is there, and the rest of the Last Six is behind them.
 
Chuck Norris: Holy shit!
 
FOR REAL
 
On the Gateway Arch, we see Chuck Norris surrounded by FIVE Liam Neeson characters.
 
John Glanville: You mess with the bull, you get the Horn.
 
Robert Jarvis: It’s time for our Vengeance.
 
Captain Curtis: I know we sound Deep.
 
Arnold Hackett: You’re dying in Isolation.
 
Shawn: At least, that’s our Theory.
 
Chuck Norris: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
 
OKAY?
 
At the Grand Canyon, we see Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson jump into the Grand Canyon to avoid some cel-shaded characters behind them… namely, Ezen and Alex Spark. Chase scene motherfucker!
 
YEAR 10 IS
 
Chuck Norris: We need to find those Gods.
 
Liam Neeson: I have an idea.
 
Cut to a church. Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson bust in, immediately ruining.the peaceful service. Neeson holds a bazooka to the cross.
 
Liam Neeson: Jesus, if you don’t come out here right now, we’re gonna have to defecate the cross.
 
A huge lightning bolt occurs and suddenly, Jesus appears, clothed in white.
 
Jesus (Chris Pratt): Come on, guys, I was just practicing the harp.
 
Chuck Norris: Jesus, I’m like your biggest fan and all, but we need your help.
 
A machine gun materializes in Jesus’s hands.
 
Jesus: Whatever you say, I’m in.
 
THE YEAR OF CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON
 
A TWO PART FINALE
 
PART 1 - APRIL
PART 2 - NOVEMBER
 
BE GRATEFUL, MOTHERFUCKERS.

 
0:06 - What a long, yet totally awesome trailer. Cheering happened at many times during it. Looks like the franchise will be going out with a bang. This extended trailer will be released exclusively with Santa Claus, Ultimate Badass 2. A normal trailer for Part 1 will be released some point in December.
 
0:07 - Director Clark Gregg has taken the stage, entering through the triangle shape. I get it now; it’s the Rift Gate.. He says he’s grateful that he’s been able to make the best B-Movie franchise the world has to offer. He’s gotten so many new offers to direct movies - unfortunately, he’s been too busy with Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson to do anything else!
 
0:09 - Gregg is saying the two people everyone want to see are here. Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson run out arm-in-arm together in hand-in-hand.  That’s adorable. Norris and Neeson say in unison, “Finale time motherfuckers!”
 
0:10 - Norris and Neeson take turns explaining the plot of this one: Immediately following the events of “Underworld,” most of Norris and Neeson’s are either taken out or taken prisoner by Jamie Foxx. Norris and Neeson escape, being truly alone for the first time in franchise history. Foxx sends multiple popular movie characters after them in a chase film, but Norris and Neeson know how to save the day: by reuniting the three gods - excuse me, five gods including Jesus - to recreate Satan and totally destroy Jamie Foxx and his Rift Gate. Neeson points out that technically, if Satan is ever revived, that means there are five gods; all they need is one more, and it’d be like the Last Six. Chuck Norris shushes Neeson, saying they don’t want Brad Bird to sue. Everyone laughs.
 
0:12 - Gregg takes the mic and says they’re gonna introduce all five of these gods. First up, Willem DeFoe takes the stage. Obviously, he’s Satan. Cheers. Billy Bob Thornton returns to Hall H, but this time, not dressed up as Santa Claus. However, his Santa Claus does count as a god in the Norris/Neeson world. Next up, the first casting announcement, (although it should be obvious from the trailer) Chris Pratt enters the stage announced as Jesus! Everyone cheers; perfect casting considering how hot he is.
 
0:13 - Now, it’s time for the final two casting announcements. The Goddess of Pure Good is… Meryl Streep! She enters the stage to shocked applause by the audience. Chuck Norris gives her a high-five. This must be GIFed. Finally, the Goddess of Eh, She’s Okay, I Guess is… Angelina Jolie?!?!? Gregg corrects himself, saying her character’s name is more often to referred to Dame. Why? That’s a secret for everyone. Jolie fist-bumps Norris and Chris Pratt dances to the music. This is so amazing.
 
0:14 - Gregg has one last announcement to make. A big hook of the movie is that characters from multiple franchises will be appearing as mooks of Jamie Foxx. Suddenly, the Rift Gate is lifted up from the stage and there’s a man standing underneath. Jamie Foxx! Foxx takes the mic, explaining that he will destroy Norris and Neeson by sending the Last Six, the Justice League, Spark characters, multiple Liam Neesons, and more characters from every studio imaginable. They aren’t ready to announce any specifics besides those in the trailers… except for one.
 
0:15 - Someone has just run from the first row up on stage. He’s unrecognizable from a trench coat and a really stupid Jason mask. He tears off the mask - BRUCE CAMPBELL??? That’s right - According to Gregg, he’s always wanted to make a Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. Texans Hate Zombies movie, but unfortunately, scheduling didn’t work out. Don’t worry though; Bruce Campbell’s character will definitely be appearing in THE YEAR OF CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[Ezen Baklattan]

SPARK CHARACTERS IN THE NEXT CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON MOVIE. HELL YES.

[Alpha]

Chris Pratt is Jesus?

 

...

[Blankments]

[Blankments]

0:31 - Nadny comes out to introduce someone, but then he says the person needs no introduction… Who is it?
 

0:31 - HOLY SHIT! Quentin Tarantino just jumped from the roof and grabbed Nadny’s mic. He screams for a Comic Con welcome and the audience gladly gives it to him as Nadny sneaks off stage.
 
0:32 - Tarantino says he’s here to talk about The Hateful Eight Redux, naturally. He’s not gonna talk about Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson at all and if anyone here dares to bring it up, he’ll beat them up. Some laughter, but then awkward silence.
 

0:33 - Some people show trailers or clips; Tarantino says he’s just here to announce his full cast and get them all on stage at once, trying to break the record for most people on stage at once at Comic Con. Everyone cheers! I’ll just be reporting the cast and character they play as they enter.
 

0:34 - First up is Tarantino’s Eight, lead by, Michael Shannon as Quentin Tarantino! Moving onto the other members of this team is Samuel L. Jackson as Spike Lee!  Then, Christoph Waltz comes out as Woody Allen, followed by Idris Elba as Steve McQueen.
 
0:35 - Next, Matthew McConaughey and Charlie Day as Michael Bay and J.J. Abrams, respectively. The final bits of Tarantino’s Eight are Sandra Bullock’s Kathryn Bigelow and Paul Dano’s Wes Anderson!
 

0:36 -  Moving right along, we’re gonna see the other team of eight: Rodriguez’s Ochord! Aaron Paul and James McAvoy enter as Robert Rodriguez and Edgar Wright!  Next up, we’ve got the Coen Brothers, portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix (Ethan) and Sacha Baron Cohen (Joel)!
 

0:37 - Clark Gregg returns to the stage as David O. Russell! Tarantino then says he has the first cast member to truly announce: Louis C.K. will be portraying geek legend Joss Whedon! The audience cheers at this announcement!  Rodriguez’s Ochord is complete with Uma Thurman and Ken Watanabe as Jennifer Lee and Ang Lee! Double Lee!
 

0:38 - Now for the other players. Matt Smith as “My Awesome Lawyer” and Jonah Hill as the president of Gawker are on stage now.
 

0:39 - Shia LaBeouf as the “Doucheface Who Leaked the Script”  and Patton Oswalt as the “Even Douchier Article Writer.” Time for an announcement: playing Jim Carrey, the spokesman of Gawker… David Tennant! The crowd goes wild!

 

0:40 - Tarantino says now they’re gonna truly announce the unknown cast. There are, you guessed it, eght “celebrity” characters that have minor, but important roles in the story. Woody Allen walks out as Tarantino announces he will be playing Steven Spielberg! Spike Jonze and Joseph Gordon-Levitt enter hand-in-hand, as Tarantino announces they both will be playing themselves! Ben Stiller (oddly dressed up as Derek Zoolander) enters the stage, and Tarantino says Derek Zoolander will be portraying Ben Stiller!
 

0:41 -Tarantino states that he had a little fun with the next two castings. Playing each other, Nathan Fillion and Kenneth Branagh! Finally, Tarantino says he has two last megatons to drop: playing famous director Christopher Nolan… Leonardo DiCaprio! The audience cheers excited; DiCaprio’s first Comic Con! Finally, Tarantino says he felt honored to have the following actor in his film, portraying this character: Robert DeNiro will be playing Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino’s mentor!
 

0:43 - They’ve just been standing up there as Tarantino has been speaking gibberish. It’s insane though. 29 great actors all at Hall H together. It’s crazy.
 

0:44 - Oh crap. Clark Gregg just starting talking to Louis C.K. on if he wants to be The Year of Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson. Director fight is happening right now.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[Ezen Baklattan]

What the fuck did I just read

 

...and I mean that in the best possible way.

[Blankments]

0:48 - I’ve never seen so many celebrities leave the stage so fast. Tarantino has been arrested and Gregg is on the way to the hospital. Nadny looks so awkward on stage, but he says the show must go on. Next up, they’ll be talking about the only superhero movie on their schedule for the panel: Green Lantern. Please welcome back to Hall H, Jack Bender!!

 

0:49 - Bender takes the mic, saying he’s happy to bring his directing skills to work on a superhero movie. It’s a true opportunity that he didn’t want to pass up. They have the first footage for us, but first he’d like to announce the cast. First up, returning right after The Hateful Eight Redux fiasco is Idris Elba as the previously announced lead of the movie, John Stewart.

 

0:51 - This is interesting. Before moving immediately onto the rest of the cast, Bender is explaining his idea with Green Lantern. The best Green Lantern stories are those with a team of Green Lanterns in his opinion. He also knew he works best with an ensemble cast, so he decided to make a Green Lantern movie following seven Green Lanterns who are teamed up. He’ll be announcing the line-up, plus who will be playing Abin-Sur (Stewart’s predecessor in this timeline) and the villain, Black Hand. The film will follow John Stewart joining a Green Lantern Corps that already has a few humans on it: the difference is that the humans never returned to Earth after joining the Corps. Time for casting announcements!

 

0:52 - First up, Sam Worthington will be playing Hal Jordan! Eh choice in my opinion, but it’s all about to made up for. Alan Tudyk has taken the stage… He will be portraying an older Guy Gardner!

 

0:53 - The only woman on the team, Jade, will be in it. She’ll be played by the lovely Eva Green! Doing the motion capture and voice for Salaak will be Ben Foster!

 

0:54 - Oh, this’ll be fun. Keifer Sutherland is the motion-capture and voice for Kilowog. THERE’S NO TIME! Jason Isaacs will be playing Sinestro. Ooh, fun. Bender stresses that he is not the villain of this movie.

 

0:55 - Instead, the villain will be Black Hand, portrayed by… Jason Patric? Finally, doing the motion capture and voice for Abin-Sur, a minor but important role, will be seasoned actor Keith David!

 

0:56 - Elba says he’s honored to be the main Green Lantern in this, but the rest of the cast will be great too. Time for the first trailer!

 

[spoiler] Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWKrtzLNmwI

John enters a boardroom.

 

John: I really think this design would be great for the new office complex.

 

Businessman: We’re looking for cost-efficiency, not for nice looks.

 

Cut to John in a car driving.

 

John (V.O.): Creative minds need a way to get out, but money is always a hindrance. If only I didn’t need money...

 

DC ENTERTAINMENT+BLANKMENTS PRODUCTIONS logo

 

John makes some coffee late at night but then hears an explosion. He heads outside and sees a dying alien on his porch.

 

Abin-Sur: What is your name?

 

John: *shocked* Uh, John. John Stewart.

 

Abin-Sur: Say the oath.

 

John: What?

 

Abin-Sur gives him the lantern.

 

Abin-Sur: Read the oath, and good luck.

 

THIS NOVEMBER

 

John stares at the lantern and shakes his head, deciding to read it for the hell of it.

 

John: In darkest day, in blackest night.

 

Cut to Oa, we see Jade surrounded plants. Her eyes open.

 

John (V.O.): No evil so shall escape my sight.

 

Sinestro, flying with Hal and Guy, turns his head back.

 

John (V.O.): Those who worship evil’s might.

 

Salaak and Kilowog are having a fight for training.

 

John (V.O.): Beware my power, Green Lantern’s light!

 

Cut to black.

 

DC’S NEWEST HEROES

 

Oa. John is there, suddenly in a Green Lantern suit

 

Hal: Welcome to hell.

 

John: Wait, what?

 

FACE A UNIVERSE-THREATENING MONSTER

 

Jade: We can’t let Black Hand win.

 

Jump cut to Black Hand sucking out power from Abin-Sur’s corpse.

 

Sinestro: For every Lantern he kills, he grows a hundred times stronger.

 

John: Then I guess we can’t let him kill anymore of us.

 

BUT THEY’RE READY

 

John creates a sniper rifle construct, shooting down Black Hand’s minions. Hal shoots multiple boxing glove contructs out of his hands. Jade uses plants to grab Black Hand, but Black Hand breaks free. Kilowog tackles someone as Salaak restrains them with a green construct.

 

GREEN LANTERN

 

Guy has a construct of a spaceship.

 

Guy: Well, this is fun. I like this a lot.

 

Sinestro: *flicks him with a mosquito construct*

 

Guy: Oh, come on, man!

 

NOVEMBER 8

 

0:59 - What a cool trailer. Awkwardly edited at points, but the actual footage looked good. Bender says the trailer will be available online after the panel and will be attached to Godzilla. Sweet.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[Blankments]

1:00 - With the Green Lantern done, Nadny has come out to talk about something else. He says it’s time for their first major announcement, their original film. To make this announcement, he invites director Colin Trevorrow to the stage.
 
1:01 - Trevorrow is talking about how nowadays, original has lost its meaning in Hollywood. Original now just means not a sequel; who cares if it’s adapted or not? He’s kinda rambling a bit. Get to the announcement
 
1:02 - Here we go. Trevorrow says that he kinda wishes Samurai Jack wasn’t announced the other day. His film similar to Samurai Jack in a distinct way, but he’d like to announce it anyway.
 
1:03 - He has invited the lead of his movie, Logan Lerman, to the stage. They’re really prolonging this announcement. Lerman is oddly wearing an orange jumpsuit.
 
1:03 - Wait, what? He’s also inviting Flo Rida on stage? Nadny gives him a look, and Trevorrow gives a wink and a smile, as a special presentation on stage happens:
 

Colin Trevorrow: You ready for this, Logan?
 
Logan Lerman: Yep.
 
Colin Trevorrow: How about you, Flo Rida?
 
Flo Rida: Just tell me when to go.
 
*Audience begins cheering “WE WANT TO KNOW”*
 
Colin Trevorrow: Now.
 
A beat starts playing, Flo Rida starts rapping.
 
Flo Rida: Yo, Danny Fenton He Was Just 19
When his parents built a very strange machine
Designed to view a world unseen
 
Logan Lerman falls into a trap door.
 
Flo Rida: When it didn't quite work, his folks they just quit
then Danny took a look inside of it
there was a great big flash
every thing just changed
his molecules got all rearranged
 
Logan Lerman reappears, completely in costume as Danny Phantom with white hair; he was wearing a wig earlier. The audience cheers.
 
Flo Rida: When he first woke up he realized he had snow white hair and glowin' green eyes
he could walk through walls, disappear, and fly
he was much more unique than the other guys
It was then Danny knew what he had to do
he had to stop all the ghosts who were coming through
he's here to fight for me and you!
 
Logan Lerman hooked up with a harness and now flying around Hall H. This is too cool.

 
1:05 - Wow. Live-action Danny Phantom tentpole coming October Year 10. Directed by Colin Trevorrow and starring Logan Lerman. Cool. I do hope Flo Rida isn’t actually involved with the movie though.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[Blankments]

1:06 - Nadny comes in to talk about how he’s been a very proud man to be in charge of a studio that has rights to Bond at the moment. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you hated Expedecade,) all good things must come to an end, and their “Ultimate Bond” trilogy will end with this year’s Bond film, “Dreamwalker.”

 

1:07 - Director Duncan Jones takes the stage. This is going to be the first time we hear anything about this Bond movie.
 

1:08 - Duncan Jones says that he’s gonna first debut the teaser trailer, which will be attached in theaters exclusively to Improper Chronomance. Why? Jones jokes that it’s for corporate synergy.
 

Music:

The trailer has no dialogue. Just atmospheric shots or action spots.
 

James Bond (Michael Fassbender) enters a hovel in India by himself. He has an eyepatch and he lives here now. He sighs.

 

M (Hayley Atwell) sits in her office and looks around, rummaging through old items. She finds a picture of Bond, and gives a wistful smile.

 

Felix Leiter (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) stares blankly at a computer screen. The camera pans down to his desk job.
 

Alec Treveylan (Eddie Redmayne) gets in a fist fight with Milton Krest (Jude Law). It’s pretty brutal, and Milton Krest clearly overpowers Alec.
 

Bond’s phone rings. He picks it up. His eyes narrow.
 

THIS CHRISTMAS
 

Bond and M stare at each other. M has tears come to her eyes.
 

FROM DUNCAN JONES
 

Bond meets with the new Q (Martin Freeman), who hands him a gun.
 

IT ALL ENDS
 

The music transitions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii1tc493bZM
 

Action montage
 

-Bond punches a guy in the face.
-Bond makes out passionately with Liz Krest (Emily Blunt).
-Felix Leiter shoots through glass.
-Bond back kicks someone.
-M shoots a pistol.
-Q dives under his desk.
-Krest laughs, and then flips Bond.
-Treveylan screams in agony.
 

Bond blinks his one good eye.
 

DREAMWALKER
 

CHRISTMAS DAY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jMokG1kQ48
 

 

1:10 - Duncan Jones is gonna break out the cast, and then they’re gonna talk plot since the storyline has been tightly under wraps until this point.
 

1:11 - First up is the returning actors: Michael Fassbender as Bond, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Leiter and Hayley Atwell as the newly appointed M!
 

1:12 - Next up, we have the villain of the movie, Jude Law’s Milton Krest! He makes a big entrance, naturally hamming it up. Fun, fun..
 

1:13 - Emily Blunt is entering the stage, as the Bond Girl of this movie, Liz Krest. Yes, she is Jude Law’s character’s wife. Is she a bad guy? They’re gonna keep that under wraps for now.
 

1:14 - Eddie Redmayne enters, and Jones explains that he is the replacement 007, Alec Trevelyan after Bond had left the service at the end of Expedecade. The movie begins with an opening sequence starring him instead of Bond, but then Bond’s skills are required for the actual mission..
 

1:15 - Finally, Martin Freeman enters Hall H, as Jones explains that since Hardy’s Q died in Expedecade, MI6 naturally hired a new Q, Martin Freeman’s character.
 

1:16 - Time for some plot to be dished out. Set only three years after Expedecade (the audience cheers at this), the film follows Bond trying to live alone in India and avoid being seen by the authorities. It all comes crashing down when a terrorist known as Milton Krest has begun hunting double 00s one by one. After Trevelyan is captured, M hunts down Bond and brings him back in for the service for one last mission.
 

1:19 - They just went on a random tangent about how, yes, Bond wears an eyepatch through the entire movie after losing it in Expedecade. A bunch of awkward jokes. Haha?
 

1:20 - Okay, the cast and Duncan Jones are leaving the stage. Wonder what’s next.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[Blankments]

1:21 - Nadny has re-entered the stage. His hands are clenched as he begins explaining he has always had a dream of winning a Best Picture Oscar for his studio. His best shot was a few years ago with a film titled “A Woman in the Crowd,” but for some inexplicable reason, it won nothing.

1:24 - What the hell is going on? Nadny has gone on a rant about how the Academy knows nothing! They’re complete idiots for snubbing Spike Jonze’s magnum opus, but oh, he’ll be back! Back for vengeance! He then grabs an Oscar statue that was awkwardly on a table and throws it on the ground shattering it. Liam Neeson returns to the stage, asking where his Best Actor Oscar went, he must’ve left it up there during the Chuck+Liam panel. After all, he never lets it out of sight. Nadny points to the shattered statue, and Neeson’s eyes narrow. The two of them are gonna have a talk. Nadny screams as Neeson drags him off stage, asking the audience to please re-welcome Spike Jonze.
 
1:25 - Jonze is just looking around awkwardly. He says he’s never done a sequel before. However, once he saw how audiences around the world connected to Lyra, his heroine from “A Woman In The Crowd,” he began to come up with ideas to add to her story more poignancy. “A Tune Without a Name” will be releasing in Year 10, although no release date has been set yet besides Q4. He’s gonna invite Anna Kendrick (Lyra), and Benedict Cumberbatch, who will be portraying a major new character in the film.
 

1:27 - Kendrick explains that the sequel takes place an uncertain amount of time after “A Woman in the Crowd,” and begins with Lyra discovering the existence of a diary from medieval times that corresponds with her curse. The movie follows Lyra trying to find the diary, in hopes it may have some answers on how to cure her curse.
 

1:28 - Jonze explains that this is not the only plotline, as the sequel will also explain how Lyra got her house, adding back in cut scenes from the first film’s screenplay. More importantly though, it’ll show the dissolution of deep friendships caused by her curse and her curse alone. There will still be plenty emotional heart for the film.
 

1:30 - Jonze tells Cumberbatch to briefly explain his character’s relevance to the plot  Cumberbatch says he is playing Alabaster Comet, the star of an extensive flashback scene explaining the curse. Jonze states that Cumberbatch’s story, though revealed to Lyra in one big chunk, will be spread evenly throughout the movie. He’s excited to start filming the film in a month’s time.

 

1:33 - Nadny returned to the stage with a major limp and two black eyes. As Jonze, Kendrick, and Cumberbatch leave, he screams that he will win an Oscar with this one! Promise! Or else…

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[4815162342]

Only 3 years post Expedecade. Progress!

[4815162342]

5 Alternate Reality Liam Neesons fighting Chuck Norris. YESYESYES!

 

 

lolololol at dat Woman in the Crowd sequel. Blank is relentless.

[Blankments]

1:34 - J.J. Abrams has just taken the stage. He’s here to talk briefly on his anticipated film RESTART. Abrams gives a trollish smile, and says he’s not here to tell any plot details at all. He merely wishes to announce the cast in one big chunk, but with no details on who they’re playing. The audience boos, but Abrams just laughs and pulls out a box with a question mark on it. What?
 

1:36 - Oh. Abrams is weird. It’s his “mystery box” and he’s pulling at names at random. First up is the already announced lead of the movie, Karl Urban.
 
1:37 - Scarlett Johannson and John C. Reilly were just announced for the movie.
 
1:38 - George Clooney and Dave Batista. Abrams is really milking this for all it’s worth. At least the actors are here though.
 

1:39 - Harrison Ford and Sarah Paulson are in it too...
 

1:40 - And last, but not least, Jim Carrey. Very intriguing cast, but we still know nothing about besides the basic premise.
 
1:42 - Abrams has been standing up there, bragging about the secretness. It’s kinda annoying honestly, but he’s almost done I think. RESTART releases December Year 10.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[Blankments]

1:43 - Awesome, moving right along. Nadny says they have one last movie before the final surprise announcement. He’d like to invite the Wachowskis siblings and stars Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Shannon to talk about their movie already filming, the Untitled Sci-Fi Thriller without a release date.

1:44 - It has a title! Lana just said the name of the movie is EXOPRESENT. Andy says it'll be releasing July 17, Year 10.
 

1:48 - The film takes place in a future where the most civilized people have an artificial gene allowing them for massively more active lifespans. Basically, when people fall asleep in this future, time stops for everyone but them, allowing them to sleep but not miss anything going on. However, the capital city is threatened when a killer from the outside civilization (Michael Shannon) enters the city, and begins killing people during the “downtime.” One man, a police officer played by Jake Gyllenhaal, chooses to lose the gene and enter the constantly paused world (since it’s the second they fall asleep time stops for eight hours) to track down and stop the killer.
 

1:49 - They have crazy ideas of action with this. Parallel times, with characters speeding up and slowing down. They’re showing off concept designs of the capital city and of Jake Gyllenhaal’s hovercycle which can apparently shrink and grow in order to avoid the civilians frozen in time.
 

1:52 - The movie looks freaking whack, but really cool. Hopefully the story is up to par because the action sounds like it’ll be like nothing we’ve ever seen before.
 

1:53 - The Wachowskis, Gyllenhaal and Shannon are leaving… But no one is entering the stage. What’s going on?

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[Blankments]

1:54 - Whoa, a video just started on stage.
 

It’s a clip from Yzma:

 

Pacha asks Kronk what his first girlfriend was like. Kronk stammers, really confused. Kronk asks if he means girlfriend as in a romantic interest, or a girlfriend as in a friend who’s a girl. Pacha says either. Kronk says he hasn’t done either... even though he met this 40-year-old woman today who wanted to be his friend. Pacha says those are the breaks. Kronk asks who Pacha’s girlfriend is, and Pacha says with a smile he wants to keep it secret because it adds fun to it. Kronk screams -

 

Suddenly, the film comes to a stop in a manner similar to the Emperor’s New Groove’s filmstops. Yzma (Tilda Swinton) appears in front of the screen.
 

Yzma: Kronk!!! I need to speak with you right now!

 

1:58 - Wow. This is neat. Chris Pratt, at the back of Hall H, just screamed “Coming, Yzma!” in complete costume as Kronk. He’s on stage now talking with Yzma on the recording.
 

Chris Pratt as Kronk: Yeah, Yzma?

Yzma on recording: I’d like to ask you what the name of this film is.
 

Kronk Pratt: Is it Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. the Incan Empire?
 

Yzma: *facepalms* It’s YZMA!!! As in, I’m the star.
 

Kronk Pratt: Okay?
 

Yzma: Why are we following you, if the movie is named after ME?
 

Kronk Pratt: To be completely honest, I have no idea.
 

Yzma: Wait a second, Kronk. I have an idea… LORD! MILLER!

 

2:00 - Lord/Miller just arrived on the stage. I have an odd feeling I know where this is going…
 

Phil Lord: What’s up, Yzma?

Yzma: Please tell me what your current project is.
 

Chris Miller: We actually aren’t allowed to discuss it at another studio’s panel.
 

Yzma: Your next project should be a sequel to my movie!!
 

Phil Lord: Well, actually, we had a few ideas…
 

Chris Miller: And it’s doing decent enough at the box office for us to do one.
 

Kronk Pratt: Sweet! I’m excited!
 

Yzma: Me too, of course. But I better be the main character this time, or else!!
 

Kronk Pratt: Ooh, and can it be more than two hours long??
 

Phil Lord: Don’t worry, Yzma will definitely be the main character. And Kronk… bring it up with Nadny.
 

Chris Miller snaps his fingers. One screen keeps up the Yzma feed but the other one has the title of the movie. YZMA 2 - YEAR 11
 

Yzma: ...Eh, I don’t like the title.

 

Chris Miller rolls his eyes, and snaps his fingers again. It is now simply titled KRONK.
 

Kronk Pratt: A movie about myself??
 

Phil Lord: Hahaha, no, Kronk. This movie is all about Yzma. Don’t worry though, you’re still in it.
 

Kronk Pratt gives a classic Chris Pratt smile.
 

Yzma: I like this title. It’s irony. PERFECT!!
 

The feed breaks off.
 

Kronk Pratt: So… do you guys wanna have some spinach puffs?
 

The audience cheers

 
2:04 - Chris Pratt, Edward Nadny, Phil Lord and Chris Miller are all throwing out free spinach puffs (spinach flavored Cheetos) to the audience. Nadny screams to everyone they’ve been a great crowd, and good night!

Edited October 18, 2014 by Blankments

[Empire]

Amazing panel Blanks!