Slam! Movie Reviews [Y5 Edition]

[SLAM!]

MARCH REVIEWS
 

The Last Six

A film which feels akin to the clanging together of action figures. While the visuals are undoubtedly astounding, there is little by the way of new narrative ideas. For a film about Greek Gods, there is an ironic sense that the film wants to be like the Romans and provide "bread and circuses" for a general audience. 6.75/10

 

The Epsilon Syndicate: Union of Thieves

While the film often yields to contemporary tendencies, its style and narrative are executed well enough as to set the film apart from the rest of the blockbusters. 9.25/10

 

Artifacts: Rise of the Crest

Young children will certainly be transfixed by a solid technical showcase, but the narrative, in the film's runtime, can't find a way to frame the technical aspects into anything other than a run-of-the-mill adventure film. The film might not have been worth the price of admission without Dwayne Johnson's charisma. 7.25/10

 

Crusader

A film which commits to a tone and refuses to lose hold of it. A rare transportative period piece. 9/10

[4815162342]

16 minutes ago, cookie said:

Haven’t read Crusader since the 2.0 days but the ending felt very The Grey to me. The Liam Neeson connection probably helps.

 

Crusader 3.0 is 99.9% identical to 2.0.

[YM!]

18 minutes ago, Slambros said:

Artifacts: Rise of the Crest

Young children will certainly be transfixed by a solid technical showcase, but the narrative, in the film's runtime, can't find a way to frame the technical aspects into anything other than a run-of-the-mill adventure film. The film might not have been worth the price of admission without Dwayne Johnson's charisma. 7.25/10

Pleasantly surprised, was expecting much worse.

[SLAM!]

SLAM! REVIEWS: APRIL ISSUE SPOTLIGHT

 

Spoiler

GREEN LANTERN CORPS: RISE OF THE MANHUNTERS

 

dir. F. Gary Gray

 

So often, blockbusters showcasing one specific hero come and go. This is what a Green Lantern film from another realm foolishly attempted to do. But any savant comic book readers would be jumping at the bit to tell you that the story of Green Lantern is not solely about Hal Jordan. The Green Lantern mantle belongs to the brave souls of many universes.

 

This film proudly commits to its own beating heart. Hal Jordan and Sinestro (played by the equally delightful Armie Hammer and Joaquin Phoenix, respectively) are especially heartwarming as men of two species forming a meaningful friendship with one another, even as they patrol the galaxy with one another.

 

The stakes are there as well, and the film culminates in an excellent final battle--one filled with dazzling special effects. And the promise of 

Spoiler

Sterling K. Brown's John Stewart

exponentially raises interest in the sequel.

 

This is also propelled by the fact that, while it technically boasts the categorical description of a 'superhero film,' the film is not just a superhero film (unlike our neighboring realm's own Green Lantern film). Green Lantern Corps is a superhero film second and something else first. The film is benefits greatly from this.

 

It is a thrill, as a critic, to watch F. Gary Gray and all the cast and crew try their hardest to overcome the shortcomings of the conventional Hollywood blockbuster demands. They do this is spades, and the result is a film that many moviegoers are bound to enjoy very much.

 

[SLAM!]

APRIL REVIEWS

 

Miserable Fans

It is a testament to Victor Hugo's original vision of Les Miserables when we can look at such a misguided translation of its iconic story beats and say with certainty that, in apparent favor of unsubtle social commentary, the sincerity of its source material has been lost in what is not a shuffle but a scattered pile of cards on the ground. In their movie-going, audiences will find it challenging to extract to necessary suspension of disbelief clamored for by the film. 5.25/10

 

Birds

Go for a walk outside, let's say for five or ten minutes, and the reason to go indoors and see this film will have been completely negated--plenty of birds perch upon the telephone lines for our eyes' pleasure. The film has some pretty shots, however--though even in the niche of nature documentaries, it's really nothing that hasn't been seen before. 6/10

 

Steel Streaks

This may potentially be touted as the year's biggest surprise in blockbuster filmmaking. Penelope Cruz and Nicholas Hault both display exceptional performances. Alongside its breathtaking high-speed races, the film also contains a notable amount of emotional depth. Rob Marshall has crafted a near-perfect combination of grace and gloss. 9.25/10

 

Deeper

Quite an ironic title for a film as shallow as this. 5/10

 

Best Friends

A movie that feels content drawing inside the lines, while doing so movingly. Channing Tatum and Aaron Paul progress their careers forward, and audiences should have a fun time. 8/10

 

Green Lantern Corps: Rise of the Manhunters

A blockbuster which prides itself on its heart. 9/10

[Ezen Baklattan]

Two things for you @Slambros:

 

1. Are you reading Bounty Hamster before getting into TLBH? It’s not too long a read, but I can say for the most part that you’re not gonna be too lost if you haven’t read the first film.

 

2. I’ve mapped out ideas for the next two Epsilon sequels...let’s just say that they’re going to be a bit more...unorthodox than the original.

[SLAM!]

16 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

Two things for you @Slambros:

 

1. Are you reading Bounty Hamster before getting into TLBH? It’s not too long a read, but I can say for the most part that you’re not gonna be too lost if you haven’t read the first film.

 

2. I’ve mapped out ideas for the next two Epsilon sequels...let’s just say that they’re going to be a bit more...unorthodox than the original.

 

I'm currently planning on reading the first Bounty Hamster just to make sure I'm well-versed in the franchise history. I think there is a total of four or five sequels in the Y5 line-up anyway, so I can definitely lend it the time. But while I might alude to the prior films, I will only review the one coming out in Y5.

 

(Also, disclaimer, to everyone: I do apologize if some of my reviews come off as overly harsh; I should explain that my reviews are coming from the voice of a "professional critic magazine," or, at least, my imagination of one. But the critiques, while not being in the specific wording that I would use, are more or less what I'm really thinking about each film.)

[Ezen Baklattan]

1 minute ago, Slambros said:

 

I'm currently planning on reading the first Bounty Hamster just to make sure I'm well-versed in the franchise history. I think there is a total of four or five sequels in the Y5 line-up anyway, so I can definitely lend it the time. But while I might alude to the prior films, I will only review the one coming out in Y5.

 

(Also, disclaimer, to everyone: I do apologize if some of my reviews come off as overly harsh; I should explain that my reviews are coming from the voice of a "professional critic magazine," or, at least, my imagination of one. But the critiques, while not being in the specific wording that I would use, are more or less what I'm really thinking about each film.)

Sounds good - link's here if you need it:

 

 

And no, you weren't harsh at all (at least in terms of Epsilon). I just wanted to get you hyped for the sequels.

[SLAM!]

SLAM! REVIEWS: MAY ISSUE SPOTLIGHT
 

Spoiler

TWO LONELY BOUNTY HUNTERS

 

dir. David Soren and Noelle Stevenson

 

As far as animated films go, this is an excellent one if I don't say so myself. Playful character designs, witty dialogue and storytelling elements, great animated segments, notable performances by Charlie Day and Sophia Lillis and Ryan Gosling and, pretty much, all the rest of the distinguished cast. The film has all the technical prowess it needs to shine at the box office. And I do encourage this film to strike a chord with audiences all over the world.

 

However, I must admit that, while my colleagues have expressed an over-the-moon praise for this film, some elements of the film's story didn't necessarily resonate with me. I've seen the idea of a super-villain turning loving people into hateful people many times on television cartoons, and I do think the idea has potential. But the film overextends its boundary by trying to be a little too abstract. The cinematic language of the film effectively communicates the urgency of the onscreen situation to kids and adults alike, but the reasoning behind the urgency may find itself going over quite a few people's heads. I just found that the amount of abstraction was a touch unnecessary for a film that is largely aimed at children.

 

This does not mean that the message isn't communicated to the audience at all; it's just a little harder to grasp than it needs to be.

 

But the film is ultimately kept afloat by a strong beginning (Cassie's struggle to get through the education system, and her initial separation from her pals), multiple story threads which are held together fairly well, an absolute gut-punch of a way that the climax's tension is released (

Spoiler

I am referring to the smart decision to have Marion swallow the device that's about to explode--this was exciting and meaningful.

), and a beautiful moment of resolution between Cassie and Sylphina (which is akin to the red bow on a Christmas card). The sense of scale that this sequel implements into its story is something to be appreciated despite what I perceive to be a slightly jarring tonal mismash.

 

Take your family and friends to see this one. You'll have a good time.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

I admit (and @4815162342 had the same issue) that much of the plot's rapid escalation was played a bit more for laughs than as serious dramatic development, but either way, I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

[SLAM!]

MAY REVIEWS

 

Two Lonely Bounty Hunters

The sense of scale that this sequel implements into its story is something to be appreciated despite what I perceive to be a slightly jarring tonal mismash. 8.5/10

 

The Drowsy Chaperone

A delightful musical with memorable song and dance numbers and a pleasant old-time aesthetic. [While I'm not sure if the Man in the Chair is a big part of the source material,] the film, in my opinion, would've had a bigger impact had it cut the guy in the chair. 7.25/10

 

Call of Duty: Of Their Own Accord

The film boasts incredible moments of action, as well as one unexpected moment of restraint during a certain Russian Airport scene. Unfortunately, most of the film's run-time is a rather repetitive implementation of wartime violence. 7/10

 

Gold Diggers

Almost nothing reaps more ire from the fingertips on my keyboard than a comedy that isn't funny. We've learned time and time again: Adam Sandler's gonna Adam Sandler. 2.75/10

 

In The Valley

The film puts its focus on the specific event in question (the destructive Massachusetts Tornado), selling itself to needless nihilism by sidelining the aftereffects of the storm--such as the emotional toll and recovery efforts. While the film is undoubtedly and impressive technical marvel, setting aside maybe thirty minutes at the end to spotlight emotional damage and recovery efforts would have made this a surefire masterpiece. 8/10

Edited March 25, 2019 by Slambros

[SLAM!]

SLAM! REVIEWS: JUNE ISSUE SPOTLIGHT

 

Spoiler

ONE PUNCH MAN
 

dir. Edgar Wright

 

This could have easily been a series of loosely-connected action vignettes as an anime adaption. Instead, with its brilliant choice of director, and the project's uncanny ability to attract what amounts to half of CAYOM's Hollywood, the film manages to be something fun and meaningful at the same time. 

 

The film reminds me of a specific Edgar Wright film from another realm: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Both film are able to speed through their many mini-arcs in a way that manages to avoid holding back their story. And Taron Edgerton's performance as a superhero tortured by his own power shown a dynamic range--a lesser actor would have diminished the quality of the film. The film's visuals are stylistic, bombastic, and, simply, mind-blowing.

 

If there is one thing that the film struggles with, it's that the ending is very blatant in an attempt to hype its audience for a potential sequel. At the tail end of the film, I found that the emotional core of the story wasn't as present at the end than it was in earlier parts of the film.

 

But this is definitely a well-articulated adaptation of a manga, and a lesser cast and crew would have certainly botched this one. This is a film that many people will certainly appreciate when it comes to theaters at the end of the month.

 

Edited March 26, 2019 by Slambros

[SLAM!]

JUNE REVIEWS

 

Portal

The film is quite repetitive, and the drab sets (while well-decorated in its sparseness) does the repetition no favors. However, the film is somewhat held together by Eiza Gonzalez's performance (it is always a challenge to act without spoken dialogue) and Ellen McClain's delectable voice work as GLaDOS, as well as a sense of appreciation for the source material and a real presence of the game series' trademark wit. 7/10

 

Forever Yours

The film will certainly have no issues finding its audience, with its spotlight on multiple time periods and its utilization of great deaf actors. But its selling points are also its setbacks--the story of our modern lives would undoubtedly experiences hurdles if spoken dialogue could not be a part of the storytelling process. 7.25/10

 

Splatoon

The shell draws outside the lines, with colorful vistas and lively character animation. But the ghost--the story--ultimately plays it much too safe. 7/10

 

An Odd Road Trip

The film comes off as an unnecessarily absurdist train-wreck--a cacophony of unintentional comedy--based on its unsuccessful attempt to plagiarize a notable cinematic achievement from an outer realm. 1/10

 

One Punch Man

this is definitely a well-articulated adaptation of a manga, and a lesser cast and crew would have certainly botched this one. 9/10

[Blankments]

as a side note (that i would've replied to earlier if I wasn't on mobile), Man in Chair is the whole reason Drowsy is successful either on Broadway or in community theater. Otherwise, it's just a throwback musical; he adds in some post-modernity

 

Glad you liked it (and Portal) though!

[SLAM!]

3 minutes ago, Blankments said:

as a side note (that i would've replied to earlier if I wasn't on mobile), Man in Chair is the whole reason Drowsy is successful either on Broadway or in community theater. Otherwise, it's just a throwback musical; he adds in some post-modernity

 

Glad you liked it (and Portal) though!

 

Yeah, I thought those were well-written films for the most part. They should be able to find their audiences when it comes time for the box office. Portal's only $25M, so it should be able to recoup its budget pretty easily. Not sure about The Drowsy Chaperone with its $100M budget, but if it's going for the Mamma Mia! audience, I think it's got a shot.

[Rorschach]

Thanks for the One Punch Man praise

 

[SLAM!]

SLAM! REVIEWS: JULY ISSUE SPOTLIGHT

 

Spoiler

*DOUBLE FEATURE*

 

Spoiler

SCOOBY-DOO: APOCALYPSE

 

dir. Reed Morano

 

This will likely be considered the bravest live-action blockbuster of the year. This is more than adaptation. This is a dissection. And against all feasible odds, it works. And, at the movies, a great time can be had by all because of this. If audiences are genuine when they say they wish to vote for their wallet, they will do so here.

 

The film's cast is outstanding. Every role is perfectly chosen. Alden Ehrenreich, Jane Levy, Trevante Rhodes, Mandip Gill, Jeff Goldblum. They all display an unexpectedly refreshing earnestness to their roles.

 

Speaking of such earnestness, the film goes for a dramatic, horror-style, more serious angle, and I must say that this fits the Scooby-Doo brand quite nicely when all is said and done. Granted, this reckless risk is bound to ruffle some feathers, especially the feathers of those who may have wished for a more 'traditional,' 'expected' adaptation of Scooby-Doo. But I say that those who care about original film should absolutely be seeing this in theaters. Even if its structured storytelling approach emits a predictable vibe to the plot, and even if the show-to-film translation causes some unintentional absurdities to taint the seriousness, I wholeheartedly recommend that this is seen in theaters by as many moviegoers as possible. Let's send Hollywood a message.

 

Spoiler

THE RICH AND FAMOUS

 

dir. Tamara Jenkins

 

This is a romantic comedy masterclass, and I was hard-pressed to find any flaws to properly point out. The film's plot is engrossing and unpredictable, the characters feel like real individuals, and the themes and messages are strikingly relevant to current happenings in the outer realm.

 

By all means, Kathryn Hahn, Jude Law, and Christina Applegate are Oscar prospects--all three of them. They fit their roles perfectly and inject the film with a palpable sense of liveliness. Kathryn Hahn exudes optimism, Jude Law keeps us guessing as to what his character is really up to, and Christina Applegate is able to embody the full range of a vibrant personality.

 

The film itself is variable as to what it includes. Each story beat feels distinct and purposeful. Tamara Jenkins is dedicated to her craft as a filmmaker.

 

If I were to liken this film's box office potential to a film from the outer realm, I would be act upon my passion for this film and choose Crazy Rich Asians. Not because the films are perfect matches to one another, but because the quality is so palpable that there is no reason why the film wouldn't be able to resonate with a wide range of audiences.

 

Vote with your wallet and see this film, everybody. Tell Hollywood, "Romantic Comedies aren't dead to us quite yet, you Silver Screen Scoundrel!"

 

 

Edited March 26, 2019 by Slambros

[SLAM!]

JULY REVIEWS

 

Up The Butt

The only thing up anyone's butts are the hats of the producers who funded this exploitative amateur production. 1/10

 

Skyjumper

The film has nice performances and a refreshing willingness to spotlight extreme sports, but the film's surrealist tendencies weren't a great fit for me. Still, I would still recommend seeing this to those who might be interested. 7.25/10

 

Scooby-Doo: Apocalypse

Even if its structured storytelling approach emits a predictable vibe to the plot, and even if the show-to-film translation causes some unintentional absurdities to taint the seriousness, I wholeheartedly recommend that this is seen in theaters by as many moviegoers as possible. 9/10

 

Conventional Wisdom

A been-there-done-that Die Hard rip-off. Its saving grace is the deserved progression of Sterling K. Brown's career. 6.25/10

 

The Rich and Famous

The film's plot is engrossing and unpredictable, the characters feel like real individuals, and the themes and messages are strikingly relevant to current happenings in the outer realm. 9.75/10

 

Static Shock

The superhero film boasts an eccentric cast and some solid action scenes. However, the film, at times, feels more like a theatrical production, and the film goes on a little longer than it really needs to. 7/10

[Ezen Baklattan]

Thank you for the glowing review for The Rich and Famous!

 

Spoiler

However, I'm not really sure I would classify it as a romantic comedy, certainly not one in the vein of Crazy Rich Asians. The central relationship in the film falls apart at the end of the second act, and by the film's end, the characters' catharsis has little to do with the romantic aspect.

 

[SLAM!]

SLAM! REVIEWS: AUGUST ISSUE SPOTLIGHT

 

Spoiler

*DOUBLE FEATURE*

 

(For the reason that I, by circumstance, only had to read two films for the month.)

 

Spoiler

Sylvarius

 

dir. Chris Butler

 

This is an animation masterclass. At first, I was trying to wrap my head around why this was given the animation moniker. We have the technology, this could've been live-action. But I kept watching, and I have to say that the medium fits perfectly with the story and its presentation of itself.

 

Every voice performance in this film is excellent. Ashley Johnson, Amy Acker, Lakeith Stanfield, Khary Payton. They were all excellent.

 

And the world-building equally as exceptional. It doesn't bombard the audience with information about the world; it simply asks us to accept that we're in a fantasy setting, and it presents us with its colorful vistas for us to see. The story is also not afraid to take risks with its narrative and its content.

 

This film is a true must-see for any fan of animation and any fan of great films in general.

 

Spoiler

He-Man III: The Horrors of Hordak

 

dir. Robert Stromberg

 

I'd be lying if I said I was properly acquainted with the characters and mythology of the He-Man universe. To prepare myself for this review, I brushed up on the two prior films in the series, and I can say with certainly that I was very glad to have made that decision. It is evident that this third He-Man film reverses the maximum amount of emotional impact to those who have a strong connection to the mythos of the series, whether it be through the films, show, toys, etc.

 

It goes without saying that basically any blockbuster tentpole attached to the Gold Crescent Pictures label is rightfully expected to have state-of-the-art visuals applied in cutting-edge ways. I say with joy that Horrors of Hordak is no exception to this studio trend. The visual effects and production design are easily the best aspects of this film and its prior films; they do an outstanding job of transporting the audience into the fantastical land of Eternia.

 

The film is a standard blockbuster, though. An above-average blockbuster (because of the third film's willingness to raise the stakes for the predecessor soon to come), but a standard blockbuster nonetheless. Despite this, audiences will no doubt flock to this film. And I'd say it's deserved.