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The Letter Grades Strike Back aka Cookie's Corner Y5

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3 hours ago, cookie said:

was hoping my fellow R-rated tentpole connoisseur would pick that one lol

I’m curious to see how it turns out, mainly because...

 

I have a film in the pipeline that I may or may not use Julius Avery for.

 

But other than that, the video you showed with the announcement in the magazine thread instantly sold me on it.

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Here are all the grades @Rorschach.

 

Spoiler

 

One Last Time C

Hostel: Bloodline D-

Life of Galileo B-

Wi-Fi Winnebago C+
The Study C-

Headline C+

Kaleidoscope D

 

Broadway Selects: Hello, Dolly! C

Next Vegas C+

Medusa B+

Perfect Match B-

The Poet C+

ByteRealm B-/C+

The Mona Lisa B-/C+

 

Out of My Mind C+

The Last Six B-

The Epsilon Syndicate: Union of Thieves A-/B+

Artifacts: Zephyr's Crest B-

Crusader B+


Miserable Fans C-

Veggies in the Rain: A VeggieTales Movie B-/C+

Birds B-
Steel Streaks A-/B+

Deeper C

Best Friends C+

Green Lantern Corps: Rise of the Manhunters B+


Two Lonely Bounty Hunters A-/B+

The Drowsy Chaperone B-

Call of Duty: Of Their Own Accord B-

Gold Diggers D+

In the Valley C+


Portal C+

Psyren C+

Forever Yours B-

Splatoon B-

An Odd Road Trip D
Wii Sports C-

One Punch Man B-

 

Calendars B

Up the Butt D- (the only reason this is not an F is because I expected something worse than what I got)

Skyjumper C+

Scooby-Doo: Apocalypse B-

Conventional Wisdom B-/C+

The Rich and Famous B-

Static Shock B-

 

Sylvarius A-/B+

Yin A-

He-Man III: The Horror of Hordak B

Peak B-/C+

 

Train 38 B-/C+

Broadway Selects: School of Rock C

Texans Hate Zombies B+

24 Hours A

Bambi: A Life in the Woods A

Dolphins B-

Psychonauts B-

 

The Picture of Dorian Grey C

This Is Not a Game B-

Fantasia: The Next Dimension A-/B+

A Woman in the Crowd A-
The Trick-or-Treater C-

 

American Dragon: Flash Point B+

Homebound C

Of Pagans and Paupers B-/C+

Pillars of Eternity: Never Far from the Queen A

The Winter Star B-/C+

Lieutenant Lynx in the Third Dimension C-

Olive the Other Reindeer A-/B+

Sabrina - C+

 

Help! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up: The Movie D

O, Maestro! C+

On the Record B-/C+

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl A-/B+

The Three-Month Funeral B+

 

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Cookie's Ten Worst of the Last Five Years

 

#SorryNotSorry

 

Spoiler

Brandybrook

Spoiler

The Ultimate Prank

Spoiler

120 Days of Sodom

Spoiler

Truth Is

Spoiler

Little Demons

Spoiler

Peter and the Starcatchers

Spoiler

Redeeming Love

Spoiler

Son of Rosemary

Spoiler

Jonny Jonny: I Swear Pasta, If You Put Pidge in the Sequel My Review is Going to Be a Copy Paste of Blanks's Kansas Review Where Every Word is Replaced with Jonny Jonny.

Spoiler

Up the Butt

 

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Cookie's Top 10 Films of the Last Five Years

 

&

 

Cookie's Five Personal Favorites

 

 

Top 10 #10

Spoiler

Blank

 

by @4815162342

 

The first in the Numbers crime saga, and one that still kicks plenty of ass. What can I say but it's the dog's bollocks, mate.

 

Personal Favorite #5

Spoiler

The Adventures of Scrooge McDuck

 

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DEFENDERS OF THE UNIVERSE

 

and

 

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I was sort of struggling to decide whether I should put one of these on here. Ultimately I decided to cheat a bit and include all three since they all represent my first ventures into this iteration of the game - true, Scrooge McDuck was 85% C&P from 2.0, but I think having had my perspective grow over the prior three years made me realize what needed to change, and frankly the changes were for the better.

 

Honestly if one thing ended up startling me a bit it was the overwhelming success of Voltron. I did not expect it to go down as well as it did frankly because it was a last minute thing. But it did help me gain new appreciation for the show and was the start of the road map that would eventually lead me to The Scavenger Wars, so that's something.

 

Would I have done any of these movies differently? Honestly, not really. I knew what I set out to do with all three and in the end I think all three delivered on their promises - Hunchback was a balanced blend between the Disney version and the original novel, Voltron introduced the universe and the characters in a fairly digestible way and The Adventures of Scrooge McDuck became my first BP nominee.

 

Plus it helps that all three had very similar runs at the box office.

 

 

Top 10 #9

Spoiler

Pillars of Eternity: Never Far From the Queen

 

by @4815162342

 

Yes, we're doing a Numbers double bill. While it's only my #4 of this year, I am deeply impressed by how this was pulled off. A density and worldbuilding complexity on the scale of The Lord of the Rings and yet somehow it works. I guess in part it's because The Hollow Vale set so much of the groundwork, but there's something to be admired of being able to pull something like this off still - honestly makes me who created a world as dense as The Scavenger Wars a tee bit jealous.

 

And Albino Pidge rocks and WHYYYYY she's not in the third movie makes me a sad panda.

 

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Top 10 #8

Spoiler

SPARK

R I S I N G

 

by @Spaghetti

 

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Now wait a minute, wasn't this just my #9 the year it came out? Why is it in my five-year top ten?

 

Frankly... I think I was way too hard on it when it first came out. Yes, it has some slight issues in its second half, but all of that is cancelled out by a first half that is perhaps the closest any of these has ever been to pitch perfect - capped off by an all-timer romantic scene whose song choice I still have on my Spotify shuffle to this day.

 

A minute ago I praised the complexity and worldbuilding of the Pillars series, and now I'm going to put it down a bit because while that one is definitely well executed it's also heavily based on already established material.

 

Spark had to build everything from the ground up, and managed to create some now iconic characters to boot. Alex Spark is sort of the ideal female heroine, Kozar is the world's most lovable space doggo and Aera is... well, Aera.

 

And perhaps that's why I've often expressed my disappointment with the sequels. Rising is magical at its best, while Homeward and Beyond the Sky could only ever aim for pretty good when they weren't bogged down by weak characterizations or very questionably executed story turns. The series does have one last chance to recapture the magic with the fourth and final film, so we'll see how that goes.

 

 

Personal Favorite #4

Spoiler

Ripper

 

InbornPepperyIrishsetter-size_restricted

 

Speaking of surprises... I surprise myself a lot of the time, and this is the perfect example of it.

 

For the first three game years I always did an R-rated "thriller" in June, as a means of counter-programming in a window filled otherwise with tentpole blockbusters. In Year 1 it was the decently received Rollercoaster, in Year 2 it was Damnation Alley which also got okay reviews.

 

But Year 3's Ripper was something else. It broke out in a way I did not anticipate.

 

I wrote Ripper in less than a day. I've had the idea of doing a film set in Victorian era London for quite some time, but the idea of turning it into a murder mystery surrounding Jack the Ripper - or in this case, a Ripper copycat - didn't come about until I one day needed a break from writing The Scavenger Wars and The Number One Dime.

 

I did some rudimentary research into the Jack the Ripper murders and just sort of winged it from there. Tom Hardy as Detective Simon Barnes seemed like an obvious choice from the beginning (and, surprisingly, you can draw many parallels between Simon and Lucina in TSW2) and I'm glad I stuck with it. Looking back on it there's a lot more to his character than I originally gave him credit for, and that his role went down so well with basically everyone I take as an achievement.

 

I honestly think one of the smartest things I did was invoke a lot of social issues that appear at the film's seams; Ripper deals not just with the public hysteria of a horrific event from just a few years prior coming back for a second go-round, but also with the lack of trust in law enforcement within an increasingly bigoted society - the many insinuations that the distrust and hatred lodged at Simon's wife because she "looks Jewish" was borrowed from the fact that antisemitism was very much rampant in late Victorian England. This was less than forty years prior to Hitler's rise to power, after all.

 

A lot of people even believed Jack the Ripper himself was a member of the Jewish community; I remember coming across an account from a Scotland Yard police chief where they talked about having to remove a piece of graffiti riddled with antisemitic accusations because they didn't want to cause even more unnecessary harm (this was ways back so I don't remember the exact details), and that sort of formed the backbone for a lot of the story.

 

Now, I'm not very versed in murder mysteries so if there's one thing I think I could've done better it was the final answer itself. It was maybe a bit too obvious and not very satisfying in the end, but I think in this case it's more about the journey rather than the destination, and the lengths Simon would go not just in the pursuit of justice but of a certain personal closure.

 

That sequel is still happening btw, I just need to figure out a good story for it. I'm leaning on moving away from the murder mystery and turn it into a political thriller centered around Irish rebellion, but I still need to do a lot of research on that front.

 

 

Top 10 #7

Spoiler

To the Moon

 

by @ChD

 

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I did not enjoy @ChD's initial work in Year 1. Life is Strange is one beloved by several, but just didn't work for me (I have softened on it a lot since my initial review I will admit, but it's in the low Bs territory still).

 

The following year however To the Moon came out and blew my socks off.

 

I still think that opening scene is one of the best I've seen in CAYOM. As is that ending. Wether or not they were lifted straight from the game, I don't know, but they were very effectively written here, and finally convinced me on @ChD's true potential. A shame he hasn't really appeared in this game since, as I would have loved to follow his growth as a writer.

 

It's an animated drama not just about loss but also fulfilling a dying dream, one that's simple and a bit childlike but also very moving. The ending is either the most uplifting thing or the most depressing thing depending on how you look at it, but that's what makes it so great in my opinion. You can look at it in multiple ways, and that's something you don't often see in either CAYOM or Hollywood's own output, outside the arthouse stuff I guess.

 

@ChD, wherever he is, I say hats off to him.

 

Edited by cookie
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Whoa, that mention is an extreme surprise!

 

Spoiler

The first film is truly the standout in the saga in my eyes as well. I admit that 2 and 3, while arguably having the work, just doesn't have the passion and heart that Rising does for me. Hell, as I was writing #1, I didn't even really have a concrete plan for any sequels, which was probably my biggest mistake. I was extremely tempted to one off this series, but I will admit that while the sequels don't reach that height to me, Spark Rising is one of my proudest accomplishments in maybe anything I've done creatively.

 

The Epsilon Syndicate, on the other hand, does have a clearer endgame mapped out to the bitter end, so I have more hope for that.

 

I think so far the finale is going to come really close in tone to the original, more than the other films have before, and I think it's really going to end the series on a high note. Maybe not on the level of Rising, but I think it'll be a truly strong and cathartic finale.

 

Spoiler

Pretty much all of the significant characters all get a chance to shine here, something I didn't do enough of in past installments.

 

 

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3 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

And side note:

 

  Hide contents

"How Deep is Your Love" from TSW is on MY playlist too. :sparta:

 

Full transparency:

Spoiler

That scene was a very naked attempt to replicate the "Don't Dream It's Over" bit from Spark: Rising. I am so sorry.

 

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1 minute ago, cookie said:

Full transparency:

  Hide contents

That scene was a very naked attempt to replicate the "Don't Dream It's Over" bit from Spark: Rising. I am so sorry.

 

I'm flattered, I mean. :hahaha:

 

Spoiler

Spark 4 may have another romantic music moment....

 

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Top 10 #6

Spoiler

And The Band Played On

 

by @4815162342

 

 

No gifs or jokes here. This is a very serious subject matter and requires to be approached with dignity and respect.

 

And the Band Played On is not an easy watch. Less so than By the Balls even. It's a harrowing tale that'll make you both sad and angry. It depicts very real people that faced a very real struggle, one that is still ongoing in many parts of the world today. I'm talking about the AIDS crisis.

 

I remember @4815162342's saying that people weren't so hot on the film when it was first posted in 2.0. I honestly don't get why. It's a masterclass of its own in how it handles so many branching storylines and a massive cast without ever feeling bloated or outstaying its welcome - and under no circumstance makes light of its subject matter in any form.

 

To pull it off with such finesse is precisely why it won Best Picture in Year 2, and to this day I think it deserved that victory.

 

 

Personal Favorite #3

Spoiler

THE SCAVENGER WARS

 

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For the longest time, I've had a list of original ideas that have been floating in my head since at least the last days of high school, when I became really drawn to writing and storytelling. The Scavenger Wars is part of what I call the "Original Four" - a list that includes the similarly long gestating Mech Suit Heroine Rita among others - and so far is the only one that has made it to publication.

 

But the fact that it got made, went over as well as it did and now even has a sequel that, as of the common consensus, not only lives up to it but may even surpass it in some areas, I've decided to look back on this one for a much closer analysis. Honestly, deciding the ranking of the top three was very difficult, so don't take it landing this low as me not being proud of the final product, but there are a few reasons that keep it from ending up as #2 or even #1.

 

So let's start with the positives:

 

This has my favorite written line ever. No, it's not the Packer monologue, it's this:

 

"In the far future, humanity survives in space."

 

I've always wanted to start off the series with a line similar to that of Star Wars "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" or The Hobbit's "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." I don't really care what anyone else thinks, I'm just personally very proud of that one line.

 

I know it’s usually a bad sign when you start off with the world building as opposed to the characters, but here I think it’s warranted. Not just the scale of the world but the deeper intricacies I’ve put in even surprises myself in hindsight, and one thing I’m proud of is how much of it is communicated through visuals and off-hand dialogue as opposed to exposition. I purposefully avoided huge exposition dumps with one or two exceptions and for my money it paid off in the end.

 

My favorite two characters were also the two that were the best received overall: Tamara and Packer. I’m very glad Black Panther happened when it did because I honestly can’t see anyone but Letitia Wright in the role anymore, even if it’s technically not her face in front of the camera. Tamara is the beating heart of the movie, with her optimism and determination to unite two worlds that only seek to destroy one another even when facing impossible odds (and as cheesy as her romance with Joel sometimes get, I think it works).

 

Same frankly goes for Jason Isaacs as the film’s hyper charged antagonist. When I first started mapping out the story all those years ago Packer was nothing more than a gruff space commander who was willing to get his hands dirty, so him ending up as a militaristic fascist with an outlook that - due to personal tragedy and the knowledge he’s slowly losing his body and mind to a poison which is having the same effects on Joel - nothing matters anymore except vengeance at any cost. I honestly think topping him as a main antagonist is going to be a harder challenge for me going forward than anything else.

 

I’m kinda sad Harry Lennix’s Commander Barks never got more recognition - I think only ever @Rorschach and @YourMother the Edgelord brought him up. Maybe it's because his story was overshadowed by Isaacs's scenery chewing.

 

Joel is perhaps a bit typical of a straight man, even if I like his character arc, but the outside the box casting of Daniel Henney in the role does spice things up a bit - and one I would justify as bringing some much needed diversity to that type of role.

 

I maybe overestimated MEW’s Lucina way too much here. I guess I thought the casting would speak for itself and carry the character as portrayed in this film (we’ll get to her role in Part II soon enough, spoiler warning) when she doesn’t do that much in the end. I guess I hoped for a breakout character but forgot the part that would make her break out so to speak. I know Naomi Scott’s Kira became a bit of a punching bag - even if I personally think some of it was a bit unfair - but that’s something I hope to rectify in the future (you hear that, Numbers? The age of the Pink Power Ranger will come soon enough).

 

Let’s get to the stuff I’m not fond of: the epilogue and some of the comedy. The former was because I only had hours before the deadline and so I had to rush it, and it being with filled with a lot of the latter didn’t really help - though I’ve worked a lot with improving the more questionable moments in the revised version in case you haven’t read it. It probably went at odds with the tone a lot more than I expected - I’m still of the opinion that no good story is truly without moments of humor and levity, but I maybe went too far in places.

 

I see @4815162342's point regarding the Valden stuff being a dead end, and had I done the movie all over again I probably would’ve done that bit very differently (out of the film’s three main acts, the middle is the one I’m least fond of). That’s kind of why the movie is not at a higher spot in a nutshell; there’s so much I’m proud of personally, yet there’s so much I’d do very differently if I had the chance. It’s a bit of a mixed bag in the end.

 

But... I never would’ve learned so much had I not done it. Every movie I make, every outline I map out, every line I write, every review I read is a learning experience in of itself, even the times I don’t agree with it.

 

Is it a bit bloated? Maybe.

 

Could some of the character work be better? Sure.

 

Did it need to be 30,000+ words? Probably not.

 

Would I’ve done it differently had I written it in April of 2019 as opposed to April of 2018? Absolutely.

 

But... it is what it is. A long gestating dream that finally became reality, warts and all.

 

 

Top 10 #5

Spoiler

Fortnight

 

by @4815162342

 

tumblr_nckrs8H9rZ1rv8b97o4_250.gif

 

Now why is this one above And the Band Played On?

 

I don't know really, I guess I just found more enjoyment out of it.

 

Fortnight, much like AtBPO, tells a real story about real people, but a bit earlier in time and with a happier conclusion, I guess. Of course, adapting a pivotal moment in early American history like the Delaware crossing and its fallout was never going to be an easy task, but that's what we have @4815162342 and his frankly genius attention to detail for. Even in his most faulty work like Bioshock I'm still impressed by the craft at hand, which is why I'm always looking forward to reading his stories.

 

Fortnight is kind of a kickass action movie while being a historical drama at the same time. There's the big battle scenes - one featuring the most badass character death in CAYOM (but no Scrooge McTennant WHYYYYYY) - and there's big talky scenes, but there's even its share of subtle moments as well.

 

I am always going to be biased in favor of Voltron casting but Damian Lewis really steals every frame he's in and that he didn't win Supporting Actor is another case that makes me a sad panda. One day his time will come, I feel.

 

Either case, Fortnight is an excellent showcase of @4815162342's attention to history and I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

 

Edited by cookie
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Going to save the final six until tomorrow since I still need to gather my thoughts on them and writing these take up a lot of my time.

 

Fair warning: as we get to the end it’s going to take a very personal turn, but not without reason.

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19 hours ago, cookie said:

Top 10 #8

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Personal Favorite #4

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Top 10 #7

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Thank you for the mention! I still pop in from time to time. Was thinking about returning, but I won't make any promises since I'm writing at my own pace. Regarding the ending, if you ever intend to play the game, don't read further. If you don't, go ahead. 

Spoiler

In the game, the ending had everything working together properly. It was logical, as well, if you ask me. After River said they'd meet on the moon if not there, in the reality created by Neil and Eva, she also aspired to become an astronaut and managed to do so. Basically Johnny and her were on the same team as they went to the Moon. The game included one specific throwback to their relationship since Johnny was playing on the piano before the mission, and that song was "For River". River was nearby and heard it and said it was beautiful, if I remember correctly. In the game he also got his brother back who became a famous author.

 

I didn't go for that because I like to avoid these happy endings. Sometimes it's much more relatable when you watch someone not gettng everything they dreamed for and have to sacrifice one thing for the other to succeed.

 

Also the beginning wasn't included in the game either, if I'm not mistaken. I was really happy to see that the beginning and ending were the ones that stood out the most, haha.

 

Edited by ChD
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