*Y5 ACADEMY AWARD CEREMONY!*

[Rorschach]

2 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

 

What?

 

I had Gosling #1

 

  Hide contents

And Craig last

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

ANNA KENDRICK HAS TWO OSCARS NOW

 

CAYOM GODDESS SAYS WHAT

 

WE DID IT @YourMother the Edgelord

 

 

[Reddroast]

7 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

I DEMAND A VOTE COUNT

I agree pasta

[SLAM!]

PREVIEW #8

 

Spoiler

John (Adam Driver) wakes up on the floor of an apartment. He's notably shirtless as he blearily checks his watch. He then gets up.

 

John: Shit, I'm late!

 

John quickly runs to the bathroom and opens it -

 

Kelsey (off-screen; Tessa Thompson): Jesus!

 

John closes the door.

 

John: Sorry!

 

Blankments Productions logo. Kelsey now sits on her bed as John leaves the bathroom.

 

John: Where is my shirt...?

Kelsey: I think you left it at the bar last night.

 

Flashback to the previous night. John and Kelsey take down several drinks and on stage during karaoke, John rips off his shirt and throws it at a bartender, who dodges it quickly. Back at the apartment.

 

Kelsey: You can borrow one of mine if you want.

John: I'm like a foot taller than you!

Kelsey: Geez, guy, calm down. Not like I'm offering a crop top.

 

John thinks about it a second.

 

John: Fine, I'll take it.

 

At work, John sits with a lounge shirt with Skeletor on it. His coworker (Colin Jost) looks over the cubicle wall.

 

Coworker: Nice -

John: Don't say anything.

 

In a theater, Kelsey works on a laptop as Derek (Brian Tyree Henry) walks by. 

 

Derek: Cute guy in here this morning. 

Kelsey: He's nobody.

Derek: You're getting to the age where nobody can be nobody.

 

Kelsey sighs. Leaving work, John walks with Joel (Steven Yeun).

 

Joel: Why are you wearing that?

John: It's a long story.

Joel: You and Kelsey really hit off last night.

 

At a restaurant, John and Kelsey sit across from each other in different clothing.

 

John: Do you ever feel like your friends are just trying to force you into a relationship?

Kelsey: Yeah, it's like "Hello, I'm 33 and I still haven't done anything I wanted to do in life."

John: Exactly.

 

THIS SUMMER

 

Kelsey: What if we became each other plus ones?

John: What do you mean?

Kelsey: Think about it. Neither of us are looking for a relationship, and yet everyone we talk to always asks us about our non-existent love life.

John: So you want to be in a fake relationship with me.

Kelsey: Well, we'd be like friends who help each other.

John: Like... (clearly thinking about it and trying to come up with a pun) mutually beneficial friends.

Kelsey: Don't be gross.

 

 

(3:12-3:29)

BECOME FRIENDS

 

- John and Kelsey dance apart from each other at a baby shower.

- John throws a mini-cupcake into Kelsey's mouth.

- Joel and Rosa (Gina Rodriguez) passionately make out.

- Lance Garret (playing himself) does a Three Stooges-esque flick of John's nose.

- Derek laughs as Kelsey hugs him.

- John and Kelsey duet together at karaoke.

 

(4:16-4:33)

WITHOUT BENEFITS

 

- Elizabeth (Bette Midler) throws her coffee at John.

- Kelsey stares at a closed door in front of her as Derek looks from a window clearly in anger.

- Rosa hugs a crying Kelsey.

- John watches on as Lance and Kelsey get close together.

 

 

(4:34-end)

ADAM DRIVER

 

Adam jumps hides behind his office chair.

 

TESSA THOMPSON

 

Kelsey dodges a thrown bouquet at a wedding.

 

As the song fades out, we cut to a scene where John and Kelsey sit on a couch as Lance sits across from them on a coffee table. John sips a drink while Kelsey is starstruck.

 

Lance: So when are you two planning on getting married?
 

John spits out his drink.

 

Kelsey: Probably never, right John?

John: (coughing) Sounds good to me.

Kelsey: You heard the guy. 

 

PLUS ONE

 

Later on in the same locale. John has his head in his hands as Kelsey stares on, smiling. The camera cuts and reveals a totally naked (but PG-13) shot of Lance. 

 

Lance: Can you believe they don't want these in the movies?

John: Yes.

Lance: This is what makes me He-Man, not He-Boy!

Kelsey: Nice...

 

YOU'RE INVITED

JULY 8

 

[Blankments]

[Reddroast]

4 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

 

What?

 

I had Gosling #1

 

  Reveal hidden contents

And Craig last

 

Me too! 

[Blankments]

4 minutes ago, Slambros said:

PREVIEW #8

 

  Reveal hidden contents

John (Adam Driver) wakes up on the floor of an apartment. He's notably shirtless as he blearily checks his watch. He then gets up.

 

John: Shit, I'm late!

 

John quickly runs to the bathroom and opens it -

 

Kelsey (off-screen; Tessa Thompson): Jesus!

 

John closes the door.

 

John: Sorry!

 

Blankments Productions logo. Kelsey now sits on her bed as John leaves the bathroom.

 

John: Where is my shirt...?

Kelsey: I think you left it at the bar last night.

 

Flashback to the previous night. John and Kelsey take down several drinks and on stage during karaoke, John rips off his shirt and throws it at a bartender, who dodges it quickly. Back at the apartment.

 

Kelsey: You can borrow one of mine if you want.

John: I'm like a foot taller than you!

Kelsey: Geez, guy, calm down. Not like I'm offering a crop top.

 

John thinks about it a second.

 

John: Fine, I'll take it.

 

At work, John sits with a lounge shirt with Skeletor on it. His coworker (Colin Jost) looks over the cubicle wall.

 

Coworker: Nice -

John: Don't say anything.

 

In a theater, Kelsey works on a laptop as Derek (Brian Tyree Henry) walks by. 

 

Derek: Cute guy in here this morning. 

Kelsey: He's nobody.

Derek: You're getting to the age where nobody can be nobody.

 

Kelsey sighs. Leaving work, John walks with Joel (Steven Yeun).

 

Joel: Why are you wearing that?

John: It's a long story.

Joel: You and Kelsey really hit off last night.

 

At a restaurant, John and Kelsey sit across from each other in different clothing.

 

John: Do you ever feel like your friends are just trying to force you into a relationship?

Kelsey: Yeah, it's like "Hello, I'm 33 and I still haven't done anything I wanted to do in life."

John: Exactly.

 

THIS SUMMER

 

Kelsey: What if we became each other plus ones?

John: What do you mean?

Kelsey: Think about it. Neither of us are looking for a relationship, and yet everyone we talk to always asks us about our non-existent love life.

John: So you want to be in a fake relationship with me.

Kelsey: Well, we'd be like friends who help each other.

John: Like... (clearly thinking about it and trying to come up with a pun) mutually beneficial friends.

Kelsey: Don't be gross.

 

 

(3:12-3:29)

BECOME FRIENDS

 

- John and Kelsey dance apart from each other at a baby shower.

- John throws a mini-cupcake into Kelsey's mouth.

- Joel and Rosa (Gina Rodriguez) passionately make out.

- Lance Garret (playing himself) does a Three Stooges-esque flick of John's nose.

- Derek laughs as Kelsey hugs him.

- John and Kelsey duet together at karaoke.

 

(4:16-4:33)

WITHOUT BENEFITS

 

- Elizabeth (Bette Midler) throws her coffee at John.

- Kelsey stares at a closed door in front of her as Derek looks from a window clearly in anger.

- Rosa hugs a crying Kelsey.

- John watches on as Lance and Kelsey get close together.

 

 

(4:34-end)

ADAM DRIVER

 

Adam jumps hides behind his office chair.

 

TESSA THOMPSON

 

Kelsey dodges a thrown bouquet at a wedding.

 

As the song fades out, we cut to a scene where John and Kelsey sit on a couch as Lance sits across from them on a coffee table. John sips a drink while Kelsey is starstruck.

 

Lance: So when are you two planning on getting married?
 

John spits out his drink.

 

Kelsey: Probably never, right John?

John: (coughing) Sounds good to me.

Kelsey: You heard the guy. 

 

PLUS ONE

 

Later on in the same locale. John has his head in his hands as Kelsey stares on, smiling. The camera cuts and reveals a totally naked (but PG-13) shot of Lance. 

 

Lance: Can you believe they don't want these in the movies?

John: Yes.

Lance: This is what makes me He-Man, not He-Boy!

Kelsey: Nice...

 

YOU'RE INVITED

JULY 8

 

concept art btw

 

[Rorschach]

Damn, ran out of reactions.

[Ezen Baklattan]

1 minute ago, Rorschach said:

Damn, ran out of reactions.

and before my trailer too  

[SLAM!]

From the Odyssey trilogy, please welcome Hugh Jackman and Lena Headey.

 

Hugh Jackman: Last year, we were part a part of one of two ensembles that won the Best Ensemble Oscar.

Lena Headey: Tonight, we shall present the award to one of this year's many deserving cast ensembles.

Hugh Jackman: Here are the nominees for Best Ensemble.

 

Spoiler

24 HOURS

 

Spoiler

BAMBI: A LIFE IN THE WOODS

 

Spoiler

THE EPSILON SYNDICATE: UNION OF THIEVES

 

Spoiler

PILLARS OF ETERNITY: NEVER FAR FROM THE QUEEN

 

Spoiler

THE SCAVENGER WARS: PART II

 

Lena Header: And the Oscar goes to...

 

Spoiler

THE SCAVENGER WARS: PART II

 

The major cast of the film all walk to the stage.

 

Mary Elizabeth Winstead: This film means a lot to each and every one of us, and all of us are honored to represent it tonight.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

5 minutes ago, Reddroast said:

Me too! 

Me wondering who had it at #4 and #5...

 

 

[cookie]

Three Ensemble wins in five years!

 

[Rorschach]

Spoiler

I had Gosling in third

 

[Rorschach]

3 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

and before my trailer too  

This isn't very yummy.

[Blankments]

bummed about zendaya losing tbh, but glad @YourMother the Edgelord doesn't have to walk home empty-handed

 

now if only we could've given a sound award to Steel Streaks

[cookie]

2 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

Me wondering who had it at #4 and #5...

 

 

Pasta when he finds who caused the Gosling loss

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

4 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

  Reveal hidden contents

I had Gosling in third

 

 

[Blankments]

if squirrel girl wins best animated feature, i hope nefcy mentions getting fired in her speech

[SLAM!]

Zendaya and Taika Waititi walk onstage.

 

Zendaya: Hey, Taika. Why weren't our characters shown during the Best Visual Effects introduction?

Taika Waititi: It's probably because our film wasn't an (*applies finger quotes*) eligible animated film.

Zendaya: That's a crying shame.

Taika Waititi: You're darn right! (*begins to fake-cry pathetically*)

Zendaya: It's okay, Taika! You'll be able to award the award to another deserving feature.

Taika Waititi: (*sniffle sniffle*) I suppose so.

Zendaya: Here are the nominees for Best Animated Feature.

 

Spoiler

FANTASIA: THE NEXT DIMENSION

 

Spoiler

MEDUSA

 

Spoiler

SYLVARIUS

 

Spoiler

TWO LONELY BOUNTY HUNTERS

 

Spoiler

THE UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL

 

Taika Waititi: And the Oscar goes to...

 

Spoiler

TWO LONELY BOUNTY HUNTERS
 

David Soren and Noelle Stevenson walk onto the stage.

 

David Soren: It is an honor for our sequel to win this award when its preceding film did not.

Noelle Stevenson: That shows growth in the creative team, and trust me when I say that they did grow.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

1 minute ago, Slambros said:

Zendaya and Taika Waititi walk onstage.

 

Zendaya: Hey, Taika. Why weren't our characters shown during the Best Visual Effects introduction?

Taika Waititi: It's probably because our film wasn't an (*applies finger quotes*) eligible animated film.

Zendaya: That's a crying shame.

Taika Waititi: You're darn right! (*begins to fake-cry pathetically*)

Zendaya: It's okay, Taika! You'll be able to award the award to another deserving feature.

Taika Waititi: (*sniffle sniffle*) I suppose so.

Zendaya: Here are the nominees for Best Animated Feature.

 

  Hide contents

FANTASIA: THE NEXT DIMENSION

 

  Hide contents

MEDUSA

 

  Hide contents

SYLVARIUS

 

  Hide contents

TWO LONELY BOUNTY HUNTERS

 

  Hide contents

THE UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL

 

Taika Waititi: And the Oscar goes to...

 

  Hide contents

TWO LONELY BOUNTY HUNTERS
 

David Soren and Noelle Stevenson walk onto the stage.

  

 David Soren: It is an honor for our sequel to win this award when its preceding film did not.

Noelle Stevenson: That shows growth in the creative team, and trust me when I say that they did grow.

 

okay gosling can fuck off we're cool