Xillix' Not Nice Y6 Reviews

[Xillix]

(MOST OF) MARCH

 

Rapsittie Street Kids: A Bunny's Tale

I do not use a scale which includes a "zero stars" grade, and in fact I have no image prepared for such an occassion. This film, however, is a black hole which has swallowed all available stars, therefore giving me no option but to in fact award it my first ever ZERO STARS.

 

AJR: Neotheater

I didn't know who AJR were and I don't especially like them now. I do dig the idea of making a sorta-kinda story out of this as opposed to a regular concert film, though. It was a somewhat better sit than Down and Dirty.

 

The Fairly OddParents

I really liked this show when I was 9 or 10 or so, but once I grew out of it I grew out of it HARD and now whenever I see a clip I can't believe I used to enjoy it. So maybe I'm biased. That said, seeing as I hold no love for the original source, I'm also not bothered by changes made in the adaptation.

 

That said, on its own terms, this is a largely plot-free movie that spectacularly bungles its "be careful what you wish for" moral and instead teaches children how to get abducted by strangers, how forcing people into relationships they don't want for the benefit of someone you don't like is somehow "the right thing to do," and that when a man flagrantly disrespects and uses you only to come back begging, you should absolutely still go out with him even though he's just admitted he's still not actually interested in you as a person and is simply desperate and that you, in fact, were his last choice. Wow.

 

The Con Gone Wrong

It's fine. It's not as interesting as, say, the Fyre festival documentaries if only because the scale is smaller and it's relatively short on facts. But the structure is pretty solid and it's good for a chuckle or two.

 

Irreplaceable

I guess I like Beyoncé better than that pastry woman?

[Ezen Baklattan]

Notes from the Otherspace and now Rapsittie Street Kids.

 

Hourglass Pictures. Breaking the limits of Xillix's rating since Y1.

[SLAM!]

8 hours ago, Xillix said:

The Fairly OddParents

I really liked this show when I was 9 or 10 or so, but once I grew out of it I grew out of it HARD and now whenever I see a clip I can't believe I used to enjoy it. So maybe I'm biased. That said, seeing as I hold no love for the original source, I'm also not bothered by changes made in the adaptation.

 

That said, on its own terms, this is a largely plot-free movie that spectacularly bungles its "be careful what you wish for" moral and instead teaches children how to get abducted by strangers, how forcing people into relationships they don't want for the benefit of someone you don't like is somehow "the right thing to do," and that when a man flagrantly disrespects and uses you only to come back begging, you should absolutely still go out with him even though he's just admitted he's still not actually interested in you as a person and is simply desperate and that you, in fact, were his last choice. Wow.

 

I'll admit I didn't think this one through very well...

Edited October 8, 2019 by SLAM!

[Xillix]

Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. the Current Hollywood Landscape

 

What starts off as a pretty funny farce quickly becomes a bit of a bloated, self-indulgent mess. It's still sporadically funny, but the more the surprisingly elaborate plot comes into focus, the more it crowds out the bits I actually enjoyed. It's not especially clever and it detracts immensely from the satirical elements that worked in the first act.

 

[Xillix]

Super Mario Bros.

 

The structure is a bit messy and some of the plotting and dialogue are contrived. The section leading up to the climax, especially, drags and needed some streamlining - what feels like the logical end of the second act segues into a pretty long and largely unnecessary journey. It's a fun film with a good message and plenty of visual imagination, though, sure to delight families.

 

[Xillix]

(THE REST OF) APRIL

 

Pandas

Pandas are cute.

 

Home Invasion Part II: Abduction

A fun enough dumb sci-fi action flick. No real complaints but nothing special to recommend it.

 

The Pixies in the Back Yard

A barebones family adventure. It's not offensively bad but there are way better options out there. Probably should've been a TV movie or gone straight to streaming.

 

Jane and Tony

A preposterous weepy drama with some pretty baffling character behavior.

 

The Thin, the Phat, and the Felon

A pretty funny comedy-Western with some fun action sequences, but sloppy editing. And I'm not sure I'm sold on the ending.

 

The Blushing

A blatant 28 Days Later ripoff with none of the vicious bite. Inert as a horror film and uninteresting thematically and dramatically.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Holy shit Meme Thief might be in your top 25 lol

[YM!]

10 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

Holy shit Meme Thief might be in your top 25 lol

2 Meme 2 Thieves?

Edited October 16, 2019 by YourMother the Edgelord

[Ethan Hunt]

9 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

2 Meme 2 Thieves?

No let it die please 

[Reddroast]

@Xillix is Gordon Ramsay. We have not given him some good effin' food yet

[SLAM!]

28 minutes ago, Reddroast said:

@Xillix is Gordon Ramsay. We have not given him some good effin' food yet

 

If Xillix is Gordon Ramsay, I am the "Idiot Sandwich."

[Xillix]

Mass Effect: Ascension

 

I do have my quibbles. There's a bit of overly-convenient plotting, and elements of the resolution are a touch saccharine for my tastes. There's also the issue of Garrus - considering the pivotal role he plays in the climax, it's a bit awkward having him not even be mentioned until the third act. A small scene or reference to him earlier on might have been helpful structurally. But it's an engaging story, well-written, with distinct characters and solid pacing (a marked improvement over the first film's). It's also almost totally free of distracting editing errors or slip-ups (which yes, I do detract points for if they interfere with readability or immersion - if I say your movie has bad editing I mean you should proofread your stuff). It was a thoroughly entertaining adventure and tells a compelling tale on its own while both tying up loose ends from the first and setting up some future events. Well done.

 

4.5 Officially-Licensed Garrus Dakimakura Out of 5

[4815162342]

Just now, Xillix said:

Mass Effect: Ascension

 

There's also the issue of Garrus - considering the pivotal role he plays in the climax, it's a bit awkward having him not even be mentioned until the third act. A small scene or reference to him earlier on might have been helpful structurally.

 

 

There would literally be no place or reason for him to be mentioned before they get to the Citadel though. It'd just be awkwardly forced in.

 

 

Other than that, Thanks!

[4815162342]

Me while @Xillix was reading it

 

 

[Reddroast]

21 minutes ago, Xillix said:

Mass Effect: Ascension

 

I do have my quibbles. There's a bit of overly-convenient plotting, and elements of the resolution are a touch saccharine for my tastes. There's also the issue of Garrus - considering the pivotal role he plays in the climax, it's a bit awkward having him not even be mentioned until the third act. A small scene or reference to him earlier on might have been helpful structurally. But it's an engaging story, well-written, with distinct characters and solid pacing (a marked improvement over the first film's). It's also almost totally free of distracting editing errors or slip-ups (which yes, I do detract points for if they interfere with readability or immersion - if I say your movie has bad editing I mean you should proofread your stuff). It was a thoroughly entertaining adventure and tells a compelling tale on its own while both tying up loose ends from the first and setting up some future events. Well done.

 

4.5 Officially-Licensed Garrus Dakimakura Out of 5

Wait there is WHAT!?

[Xillix]

9 minutes ago, Reddroast said:

Wait there is WHAT!?

It was a limited time thing lol. They don't sell them anymore.

[Xillix]

(THE REST OF) MAY

 

Brickleberry: Armoogeddon

No.

 

Facepaint

A really weird and completely unscary attempt at some sort of Sunday school horror movie. The themes are jumbled, the plot is barebones, and there's little to any real atmosphere. It's pretty to look at.

 

Lumberjanes: Secret of the Eye

Imaginative and energetic, but very sloppily-plotted with broadly-drawn characters. It's too chaotic for its own good, cramming in so many random jokes and events that the plot is totally buried. It'll be fine for most young children but it's probably a tougher sell for parents and teens, who are just as likely to be confused or frustrated as they are to be entertained.

 

Double Chronomance

A subpar romcom with underbaked sci-fi elements. Nothing to see here, really. I don't hate it. But I sure don't like it.

 

Green Arrow

This right here is a superhero origin story that is Perfectly Fine. Did we need another superhero origin story? No, we really didn't. Would this have been better if the entire movie weren't dedicated to the origin of this well-known hero? Probably. But there are no major missteps in its execution. It's the Platonic ideal of a mediocre superhero film, the kind of thing that would have come out in the mid-2000s and maybe gotten a single sequel or spin-off. I guess you might as well see it if you're into that.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Yeah....I didn't expect it to be your cup of tea. 

[Xillix]

JUNE

 

Teyonnah and the Renegades: A Righteous Sextet

An extremely blunt and over-the-top piece of political filmmaking that's so on-the-nose that it can hardly be called "satire." Even as someone who agrees with the point of the film, it's not especially entertaining or helpful to be bludgeoned over the head with it six times in a row. It's sort of the mirror universe equivalent of those awful Pure Flix movies, albeit with considerably better production values.

 

Pikmin

A slow, quiet, artsy thinkpiece that touches on themes of being a leader or even a god. Much too heady and not nearly stimulating enough for children, it's a bizarre but pretty decently-made adaptation of the game. I'm honestly not sure whether I like it or not. There are definitely elements I respect, at the very least. It's more interesting than a lot of formulaic animated fare. For that reason, I'll be generous.

 

The App: The Jeremy Renner App - The Movie

What is an Avengers: Endgame

 

USS SeaWolf

A very good, but not-quite-spectacular, Tom Clancy-style military thriller. I wasn't as invested in the main characters as I would have liked, and I'd have appreciated a few more plot surprises, but it's technically solid movie with a good handle on suspense and a satisfying climax and resolution.

 

Forgiveness

An interesting idea not really given its due. A deeper dive into the psychology of the characters would have been much appreciated, especially since they sort of blend together in spots. But it's a passable potboiler that thankfully never becomes too turgid and hyperbolic.

 

Rhino Riders

A really generic family sports movie with a bizarre and totally pointless gimmick.

 

Bummer Camp

It's not the worst Adam Sandler "comedy." By a long shot. This is not saying much.

[SLAM!]

13 minutes ago, Xillix said:

Pikmin

A slow, quiet, artsy thinkpiece that touches on themes of being a leader or even a god. Much too heady and not nearly stimulating enough for children, it's a bizarre but pretty decently-made adaptation of the game. I'm honestly not sure whether I like it or not. There are definitely elements I respect, at the very least. It's more interesting than a lot of formulaic animated fare. For that reason, I'll be generous.

 

Thank you Xillix! I'm really glad you liked it!