Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

[baumer]

Discuss

[CJohn]

I had fun with it. Jassen, Arterton and Nina (no idea what was the name of the actress) were all kinds of hot. Jeremy Renner is such a badass. He was clearly having a lot of fun while doing this.

 

It is a shame that the movie is clearly missing a lot from trailers and tv spots.

[Webslinger]

Holy crap on a cracker, this was bad. To be fair, with a title like Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, expectations of anything serious have to be tossed out the window. But even keeping that point in mind, there's hardly anything that's even remotely clever or inventive about the film's tongue-in-cheek approach. It's not deconstructing any of the tropes it uses, it's not outright parodying cheesy horror movies, and the anachronisms don't work because they're either too obvious (the weaponry), too lazy (the American accents, at least in Jeremy Renner's case), or too passe to provoke a reaction (ooh, look at that, they just said "fuck" again). In those senses, it's like a joke that skips the setup and jumps straight to the punchline... which, itself, isn't funny. It also doesn't help any that the actors don't really seem to know what to do with the material. Jeremy Renner has some playful lines here and there, but otherwise looks and sounds disinterested; Gemma Arterton exhibits about as little screen presence as she has in roles in past big-budget duds; the two exhibit such little trace of a bond with one another that I forgot they were siblings and occasionally wondered when the screenplay would contort a way to make them lovers (not that Renner has much more chemistry with Hansel's actual love interest, whose "twist" is so transparently obvious that some viewers will be tempted to scream "no shit!" when he realizes it); and Famke Janssen might as well be wearing a sign that says "just here for the paycheck." But if there's a saving grace to this mess, it's that at least it has the sense to realize how stupid it is; unlike Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, it doesn't regard itself with grave seriousness. Or actually, I'll cave and say that there are two saving graces: the leads do look damn good in tight leather outfits. I think the concept had potential, but the filmmakers misfire on so many levels that it ends up being far more of a torturous experience than an enjoyable one.

 

D+

[BiffMan]

I was drug along to this by a friend.  Wasn't really wanting to see it, but I lost the moral high ground on saying no to a movie after suggesting we see Premium Rush last year, so my hand was forced.  Actually had quite a bit of fun with it.  The movie is more or less what you'd expect, but I thought they struck the balance between camp and "reality" pretty well.  Reminded me of the tone from Army of Darkness and served the movie well.

 

B-

[75Live]

Wasn't terrible, but wasn't good either.  It's basically a worse Van Helsing for me.

 

The main two actors were fine, but there still wasn't much there.  The twist was as clear as can be and was given away in the opening scenes of the movie.  The white witch was pretty useless as well.

 

It had a few moments, but that was about it.

 

C+

[IndustriousAngel]

Not bad at all for such a low-budget flick. What saves this from ridiculous territory:

- good sets and costumes

- tight editing and short runtime

The story is simple and they didn't try to embellish much but kept it very linear and tight, and it worked (for me). While I don't think I'll rewatch this often, i felt thoroughly entertained for the time it lasted.

 

I saw it in 3D which should be avoided, the image is pretty dark in many scenes and it doesn't add much.

I really liked the start credits with the woodcut images!

[terrestrial]

I watched it with a pupil of mine and my son, both 16y old.

 

I usually am not a fan of horror and also not of comedy, but for not to explain reasons, I found something appealing enough in the trailer, that I watched it still.

 

The clearly not meant to be a 'good' movie, the over the top / punk weapons and tools (like steam punk without steam), the fun I think the actors had (something literally radiated through the performance), the fast story-telling I usually also do not like, was here somehow correct, the winks I think they did to cult-movies (Matrix, one of the movies that played in the dessert Prince of Persia or one of these Titan ones, Star Wars VI, and...), I laughed a lot, enjoyed the tough female role of Gretel (I hate damsel in distress roles),... the unusual sister - brother fighter pairing, the baddass not only being the brother, but the sister too being a baddass (see her way to answer the sheriffs ranting during their first enounter) and even the wrong / not logical dialects...

 

Btw, the useless Mina someone mentioned, killed more than all others together. And the opening credits could be a wink to Game of Thrones, or? Loved them too. Or the missing children drawings on the unbreakable milk-bottles or....

 

Costumes... great, Mina's hair was the only detail I really didn't like, to obviously too arteficial looking (toomuch hairsprayand a bit color strangeness)

 

Great pop-corn movie. As I am not familiar with the letter system, I'd say it is a 6.5 out of 10 for me.

[Hiccup]

This is actually like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It is a fun action film that is really enjoyable and underrated. 

 

6/10

[Webslinger]

I actually gave this and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter the same grade, albeit for completely different reasons. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter wanted so desperately to be taken seriously even though the concept is so completely outlandish that it's hard to believe anyone thought a serious approach was a good idea, while Hansel & Gretel gets bogged down by how badly it wants to be stupid fun. A more serious tone wouldn't have helped (if anything, it just would have made it worse), but even a little bit of cleverness would have gone a long way. As is, it plumbs only the laziest and most obvious anachronistic attempts to be funny (tight leather outfits, cool weaponry, American accents, and a fascination with the word "fuck"), and it's too passe to work.

 

I get that it's not supposed to be sophisticated; the trouble is that it's not inspired.

[Captain Craig]

Grade: C

 

I wanted something more along the lines of Underworld but got closer to Jack the Giant Slayer instead. I know it came out first, still.

It does seem possible that with the world now established a sequel could be more serious and to my liking. However, since it did well enough as is, TPTB aren't likely to tonally change course too much. 

[A Marvel Fanboy]

Pretty average B movie

 

C-

[Michael Gary Scott]

What an awful movie. 2/5

[ladyevenstar22]

this reminded me also of jack the giant slayer ! it was ok so i give it a B- 

 

it wasnt bad it wasnt great , it was meh , i neither hated it or adored it , its like those films you find yourself watching on a weekend on tv , it kills time while being relatively entertaining and harmless 

 

i had to lol at witches having fighting combat moves and all being ugly and having speech pb

 

i kept wondering what was jeremy renner thinking playing this? paycheck or more ? or maybe it was simply a sure why not , its a wide release and not direct to tv or dvd kink 

[mattmav45]

You know, about a half hour in I was surprised to notice that the film was turning into somewhat of a guilty pleasure for me.  It's similar to when you watch a film drunk or on another substance of choice, and feel so good you don't really give a rat's ass what's actually taking place on the screen.

 

Unfortunately, the writing was on the wall as the time progressed.  I guess it's a testament to how bad this film was that it exceeded my expectactions, and yet it's still simply awful.

 

What the fuck is Renner thinking here?