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Ezen Baklattan

BOF Presents: Les Sympathiques (THE STORY'S NOT OVER)

By Ezen Baklattan, in The Speakeasy

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ChD Global Phenomenon

ChD

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The poster is legendary.

 

Lets see if I have some sort of role in this thing. 

 

Seeing you once had a song dedicated to yourself, I doubt you're not at least cameoing in this.

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Jandrew Global Phenomenon

Jandrew

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Remember 'Ghetti, youre still alive in BOFG...PS, a mod should pin this so it doesnt have to keep getting bumped, and BOFG will be done by this time next month/end of this month, if Ghetti wants to take my pinned spot afterwards.

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iceroll Global Phenomenon

iceroll

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The legendary musical sensation as only BoxOffice.com could tell it. Join me on a multi-week journey through our bizarre re-telling of one of the most beloved musicals of our time. Part 1 will be posted tonight.

Awesome poster! I can help you photoshop the next one so it looks less... jagged haha

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Ezen Baklattan Global Phenomenon

Ezen Baklattan

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PART 1: THE PROLOGUE!
 
NOTE: Play the music when at the scenes to give you the music for the next part. All the lyrics are set to the song.
___________________________________________________________________
 
UNIKITTY PICTURES presents
 
In association with TWERKING TITLE FILMS
 
2014: TWO AND A HALF YEARS AFTER THE BOM FORUMS WERE DESTROYED, A FORUM IS ONCE AGAIN PRESENT FOR BOX OFFICE LOVERS, RULED BY A BRUTAL ADMINISTRATION.
 
*We see forum members, including Blank Valblank tied to chains in a giant movie theater, watching subliminal images of $90 million dollars and scenes from Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Godzilla. Televert watches from the projection booth in a fairly sinister glare*
 


 
FORUM SLAVES: Ugh! x 4
BLANK VALBLANK: Look down, look down, / don’t watch these numbers fly, / this summer’s cursed, / as these films crash and die.
DAR: Come on, you all, / Keep your predicts in line,
FORUM SLAVES: Look down, look down, / it must be a bad sign,
MULDER: Godzilla, please, / I want more films from you,
FORUM SLAVES: Look down, look down, / Cause Baumer thinks it’s poo.
KITIK: We still have hope, / GOTG is soon,
FORUM SLAVES: But who would see / Brad Cooper as a ‘coon?
DAMIENROC: When I get likes, I’m taking hikes, / no more dust,
FORUM SLAVES: Ugh! Look down, look down, / this summer’s full of shit
MULDER: Can we please have / just one Jolie-free hit?
FORUM SLAVES: Look down, look down / we never will be free. / Look down, look down, / of mediocrity.
 
*Televert goes up to Blank Valblank, asking him to create a song parody. He does so extraordinarily well. Tele sings with a huge close up and Russell Crowe’s glorious voice.*
 
TELEVERT: Now prisoner 91 million! / Your time is up and you can have some fun. / You know what that means!
VALBLANK: Yes, the quota’s raised!
TELEVERT: No! You will be a slave for all eternity! This badge of shame will show until you’re banned! / It says you’re a like whoring man!
VALBLANK: I used the f-word once! The love for Minions had made me pissed, I was angry,
TELEVERT: But you will be banned, unless you learn the meaning of the mods!
VALBLANK: What were the meaning of those 12 years a slave…..of the mods?!
TELEVERT: 4 months for what you did! The rest for using fake options! Yes prisoner 91 million!
VALBLANK: My name is Blank Valblank!
TELEVERT: And I’m Tele! Do not forget my pic! Do not forget me, 91 million!
FORUM SLAVES: Look down, look down / we never will be free. / Look down, look down, / of mediocrity.
 
*Valblank finds himself in an open field. Is this freedom?*
 

 
VALBLANK: Freedom is mine. The boards are still. / I saw Cap 2, love it again. / The trolling clears, the posts are waiting. / Visit CAYOM, how good the stories / Never forget, my fall from glory / Nor forgive them, for their abuse / Now Blank Valblank is on the loose, / The day begins, so let me see, what this new season has for me!
 
*Blank goes around the countryside and looks for various people, giving them a thumbs up as he passes them. He also tries to create song parodies, but gets few likes as a result. One instance is at a shoe shop run by Impact, with John Marston as a worker.*
 
IMPACT: You’ve been topic banned / I’ll like some of your posts / But your spirits are filthy, / and haunted like ghosts.
VALBLANK: You only liked six, the others have much more! / This measly little trifle won’t get me through the door!
JOHN MARSTON: You got suspended, isn’t it clear? / No one should pay for men who cause fear!
 
*Valblank continues walking along his road of fear, trying to find a place where he can stay. The land is desolate, and no one is willing to help.*
 
VALBLANK: So this must be how freedom feels / the moderators are at your heals / It’s in the rules / This suspension form casts me throughout the land / It is the rule / but I’m the fool / I scan other boards / Find something not to abhor.
 
*Valblank comes across a chapel with a kindly bishop, Bishop Shawn, letting Valblank come inside.*
 
BISHOP SHAWN: Come in sir, for you are weary, and the Internet is mean / I have a place for all refugees, where they can rest and eat and clean, / There is Dave Lynch to mind-fuck you, There is Pixar for the heart / There’s a full line up of Netflix, so then have a clean start.
 
VALBLANK: Let me watch my fill, I have a painful past / The likes in his hand from one post quadruples mine / In my 19 years, that were hardly a blast.
 
*Valblank tries to escape after stealing from Shawn’s blu-ray collection.*
 
VALBLANK: Why did he trust me? / Didn’t he see my envy? / He tried to do some good, / And I played the grateful pleb, acting like I should / But when the night would rise / I stoll everything, plus some fries, / Like the dark, brooding, knight / I set on and took my flight.
 
*Two moderators, Vanilla and Jajang, find Valblank. They try to stop him, but they have a taser! They tase Valblank and begin dragging him back to the bishop.*
 
VANILLA: There’s no way he’ll like his story.
JAJANG: He looks to be of lowest class.
VANILLA: He was staying there just last night,
JAJANG: And acted like a total ass.
VANILLA: Shawn is kind and Shawn is giving,
JAJANG: He is always a patron saint
VANILLA: You maintain he made a present of these Blu-rays
 
*They arrive at Shawn’s church, and Blank regains consciousness.*
 
BISHOP SHAWN: That is right, but you left me way too early / surely something slipped your mind
 
*Shawn gives Valblank blu-rays of The Wolf of Wall Street, The LEGO Movie, and Gravity*
 
BISHOP SHAWN: You forgot you had these as well. / Would you leave the best behind? / Thank you officers for your service / But this man is truly free, / I will handle him from now on / but have gratitude from me. / But remember, sweet young Valblank, / that likes have more meaning then from sight / these gifts are meant for more than hoarding, / And staying up all night. / By the witness of refugees, / And the passion from all aches, / There is light out from the darkness, / Tis a gift from RTH.
 
*Valblank goes to a bedroom inside the church, thinking about what he will do*
 

 
VALBLANK: What have I done, Sweet spatula, what have I done? / Become a thief in my heart, / Like a rat in the sewer / Have I fallen so far, / But it’s already so late, / Nothing remains but my heart of hate, / The cries in the dark that no one likes / Where do I stand in another CAYOM year?
 
If there’s another post to make, / I missed it three years ago, / My life was a flame-war, where no side wins / They gave me a number and murdered Valblank / When they chained me and caused a great fuss, / Just for uttering one little cuss.
 
But why did I allow MR, / To touch my heart and understand likes? / He treated me like my father, / He gave me his trust / Just like any other, / Is my life for RTH above? / How can it be? / For I had come to hate the internet, / And the internet always hated me.
 
Take a ban for a ban, / Turning your heart to ice, / This is the wisdom of the net, / And it’s seldom very nice!
 
One word from him and I’ll be gone, / My freedom will sing a brutal swan song, / Instead he gives me a second chance, / I failed to accept this time to dance, / He told me that I can like life, / but how can he tell? / What parody comes to guide my stars? / Or am I going to hell?
 
I am writing, but I fail, / And the dawn is coming up, / I saw Enter The Void, / but I just said, “What the fuck?” / I’ll escape now from this world, / From the world of Blank Valblank, / That poor man is nothing now! / I’ll no longer be that skaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnk!!!!!!!!!
 
*Blank tears up his suspension report into the air, and it flies off into the distance. A new future would begin for him.*
 
TO BE CONTINUED Edited by Spaghetti
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Mulder Global Phenomenon

Mulder

Posted
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PART 1: THE PROLOGUE!

 

NOTE: Play the music when at the scenes to give you the music for the next part. All the lyrics are set to the song.

___________________________________________________________________

 

UNIKITTY PICTURES presents

 

In association with TWERKING TITLE FILMS

 

2014: TWO AND A HALF YEARS AFTER THE BOM FORUMS WERE DESTROYED, A FORUM IS ONCE AGAIN PRESENT FOR BOX OFFICE LOVERS, RULED BY A BRUTAL ADMINISTRATION.

 

*We see forum members, including Blank Valblank tied to chains in a giant movie theater, watching subliminal images of $90 million dollars and scenes from Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Godzilla. Televert watches from the projection booth in a fairly sinister glare*

 

 

FORUM SLAVES: Ugh! x 4

BLANK VALBLANK: Look down, look down, / don’t watch these numbers fly, / this summer’s cursed, / as these films crash and die.

DAR: Come on, you all, / Keep your predicts in line,

FORUM SLAVES: Look down, look down, / it must be a bad sign,

MULDER: Godzilla, please, / I want more films from you,

FORUM SLAVES: Look down, look down, / Cause Baumer thinks it’s poo.

KITIK: We still have hope, / GOTG is soon,

FORUM SLAVES: But who would see / Brad Cooper as a ‘coon?

DAMIENROC: When I get likes, I’m taking hikes, / no more dust,

FORUM SLAVES: Ugh! Look down, look down, / this summer’s full of shit

MULDER: Can we please have / just one Jolie-free hit?

FORUM SLAVES: Look down, look down / we never will be free. / Look down, look down, / of mediocrity.

 

*Televert goes up to Blank Valblank, asking him to create a song parody. He does so extraordinarily well. Tele sings with a huge close up and Russell Crowe’s glorious voice.*

 

TELEVERT: Now prisoner 91 million! / Your time is up and you can have some fun. / You know what that means!

VALBLANK: Yes, the quota’s raised!

TELEVERT: No! You will be a slave for all eternity! This badge of shame will show until you’re banned! / It says you’re a like whoring man!

VALBLANK: I used the f-word once! The love for Minions had made me pissed, I was angry,

TELEVERT: But you will be banned, unless you learn the meaning of the mods!

VALBLANK: What were the meaning of those 12 years a slave…..of the mods?!

TELEVERT: 4 months for what you did! The rest for using fake options! Yes prisoner 91 million!

VALBLANK: My name is Blank Valblank!

TELEVERT: And I’m Tele! Do not forget my pic! Do not forget me, 91 million!

FORUM SLAVES: Look down, look down / we never will be free. / Look down, look down, / of mediocrity.

 

*Valblank finds himself in an open field. Is this freedom?*

 

 

VALBLANK: Freedom is mine. The boards are still. / I saw Cap 2, love it again. / The trolling clears, the posts are waiting. / Visit CAYOM, how good the stories / Never forget, my fall from glory / Nor forgive them, for their abuse / Now Blank Valblank is on the loose, / The day begins, so let me see, what this new season has for me!

 

*Blank goes around the countryside and looks for various people, giving them a thumbs up as he passes them. He also tries to create song parodies, but gets few likes as a result. One instance is at a shoe shop run by Impact, with John Marston as a worker.*

 

IMPACT: You’ve been topic banned / I’ll like some of your posts / But your spirits are filthy, / and haunted like ghosts.

VALBLANK: You only liked six, the others have much more! / This measly little trifle won’t get me through the door!

JOHN MARSTON: You got suspended, isn’t it clear? / No one should pay for men who cause fear!

 

*Valblank continues walking along his road of fear, trying to find a place where he can stay. The land is desolate, and no one is willing to help.*

 

VALBLANK: So this must be how freedom feels / the moderators are at your heals / It’s in the rules / This suspension form casts me throughout the land / It is the rule / but I’m the fool / I scan other boards / Find something not to abhor.

 

*Valblank comes across a chapel with a kindly bishop, Bishop Shawn, letting Valblank come inside.*

 

BISHOP SHAWN: Come in sir, for you are weary, and the Internet is mean / I have a place for all refugees, where they can rest and eat and clean, / There is Dave Lynch to mind-fuck you, There is Pixar for the heart / There’s a full line up of Netflix, so then have a clean start.

 

VALBLANK: Let me watch my fill, I have a painful past / The likes in his hand from one post quadruples mine / In my 19 years, that were hardly a blast.

 

*Valblank tries to escape after stealing from Shawn’s blu-ray collection.*

 

VALBLANK: Why did he trust me? / Didn’t he see my envy? / He tried to do some good, / And I played the grateful pleb, acting like I should / But when the night would rise / I stoll everything, plus some fries, / Like the dark, brooding, knight / I set on and took my flight.

 

*Two moderators, Vanilla and Jajang, find Valblank. They try to stop him, but they have a taser! They tase Valblank and begin dragging him back to the bishop.*

 

VANILLA: There’s no way he’ll like his story.

JAJANG: He looks to be of lowest class.

VANILLA: He was staying there just last night,

JAJANG: And acted like a total ass.

VANILLA: Shawn is kind and Shawn is giving,

JAJANG: He is always a patron saint

VANILLA: You maintain he made a present of these Blu-rays

 

*They arrive at Shawn’s church, and Blank regains consciousness.*

 

BISHOP SHAWN: That is right, but you left me way too early / surely something slipped your mind

 

*Shawn gives Valblank blu-rays of The Wolf of Wall Street, The LEGO Movie, and Gravity*

 

BISHOP SHAWN: You forgot you had these as well. / Would you leave the best behind? / Thank you officers for your service / But this man is truly free, / I will handle him from now on / but have gratitude from me. / But remember, sweet young Valblank, / that likes have more meaning then from sight / these gifts are meant for more than hoarding, / And staying up all night. / By the witness of refugees, / And the passion from all aches, / There is light out from the darkness, / Tis a gift from RTH.

 

*Valblank goes to a bedroom inside the church, thinking about what he will do*

 

 

VALBLANK: What have I done, Sweet spatula, what have I done? / Become a thief in my heart, / Like a rat in the sewer / Have I fallen so far, / But it’s already so late, / Nothing remains but my heart of hate, / The cries in the dark that no one likes / Where do I stand in another CAYOM year?

 

If there’s another post to make, / I missed it three years ago, / My life was a flame-war, where no side wins / They gave me a number and murdered Valblank / When they chained me and caused a great fuss, / Just for uttering one little cuss.

 

But why did I allow MR, / To touch my heart and understand likes? / He treated me like my father, / He gave me his trust / Just like any other, / Is my life for RTH above? / How can it be? / For I had come to hate the internet, / And the internet always hated me.

 

Take a ban for a ban, / Turning your heart to ice, / This is the wisdom of the net, / And it’s seldom very nice!

 

One word from him and I’ll be gone, / My freedom will sing a brutal swan song, / Instead he gives me a second chance, / I failed to accept this time to dance, / He told me that I can like life, / but how can he tell? / What parody comes to guide my stars? / Or am I going to hell?

 

I am writing, but I fail, / And the dawn is coming up, / I saw Enter The Void, / but I just said, “What the fuck?” / I’ll escape now from this world, / From the world of Blank Valblank, / That poor man is nothing now! / I’ll no longer be that skaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnk!!!!!!!!!

 

*Blank tears up his suspension report into the air, and it flies off into the distance. A new future would begin for him.*

 

TO BE CONTINUED

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

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Ezen Baklattan Global Phenomenon

Ezen Baklattan

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Huge tonal disconnect when I suddenly picture some skinny teenage Blank singing with Colm Wilkinson's (the original stage Valjean) voice.

It's part of the joke. :lol: To be fair...

 

Edited by Spaghetti
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Ezen Baklattan Global Phenomenon

Ezen Baklattan

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What's the story of this curse word thing?

 

Anyway, great job :)

Valblank got suspended for cursing too much at his rage over Despicable Me, and he tried to make fake accounts to get back on ("fake options"), only adding to his suspension.

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