BOF Presents: Les Sympathiques (THE STORY'S NOT OVER)

[Ezen Baklattan]

PART 2
________________________________________________________________________________
 
ONE MONTH LATER - JUNE 27^TH, 2014: TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION HAS BEEN RELEASED AS THEATERS. FRUSTRATION OCCURS AS IT OFTEN DOES WITH MICHAEL BAY
 

 
*We see several poor forums users, all begging for likes and struggling to get through their daily lives in the midst of the poor box office summer continuing.*
 
POOR POSTERS: At the end of the thread, you’ve read 95 pages. / And that’s all you can bear before Pokémon come. / It’s a nightmare, not a breeze, / But it’s all a perpetual pattern, / Can we get some likes, some bells, if just for fun? / It’s another derailed thread.
 
MANGO: At the end of the thread, it’s another gay forum! / I want to say so much but it’s off-topic now.
REDDEVIL: Go fuck yourself, you just hate! / There’s so many on here that are gorgeous, / And I won’t rest, till I get a BOF orgy!
*Everyone looks at Reddevil awkwardly.*
MANGO: It’s a “Not Safe For Work” Thread!
REDDEVIL: *storming out and speaking* And that’s why I hate musicals. Screw you, Spaghetti.
 
FIREDEEP: At the end of the thread we have Spatula’s numbers! / All of you are so weird, and quick to throw stones.
BOBBYJOHN: Look at Jolie doing great? / It’s going to beat up poor Dragon!
ASH: There’s a reason that we hate! / Cause you’re just pretty much bragging!
LILMAC: It’s a pattern that won’t stop until we’re all dead!
 
*We then enter a GIF-factory, where people are working on GIFs in hopes of gaining likes. The foreman, Monsieur Jack Nevada, keeps a harsh eye of the workers, especially Holtine.*
MONSIEUR NEVADA: At the end of the thread you’re wasting your potential. / I’ll give you likes for all your GIFs all the same!
LADY EVENSTAR: I’ve a family to be fed, / and I lost on the Forum Hunger Game! / I just want to get some love,
MONSIEUR NEVADA: Pfft...how lame!
WORKERS: Can’t we say something soulful?
 
*Suddenly, one of the workers, Madam Ruthie and Tauriel, begins to gossip about Holtine*
MADAM TAURIEL: Have you seen what a mess that the foreman is today? / It substantially worse than when he saw Frozen, / It’s because little Holtine, won’t give him his way, / I really can’t tell just what he wants to win.
MADAM RUTHIE: But the master never knows, / That the foreman may have it hard. / If Holtine isn’t careful, / Watch how she goes! / She’ll be dealt the ban card!
WORKERS: At the end of the thread it’s another thread over! / And you try to be heard but it’s all in such vain, / Match the quota, what a joke! / And the mod edits are greatly rising / But we’re really humble folk, / though we see flames on the horizon, / Can’t we all just go to bed?! / At the end of the thread!
 
*Madam Cochofles, another worker, goes up to Holtine*
MADAM COCHOFLES: And what have we here, my Maleficent hater? / Come on, Holtine, let’s see what you’ve made!
*She grabs a letter that Holtine is holding*
MADAM COCHOFLES: Dear Holtine, you must send us more likes, / your child needs a gif-set, / Or his life may just fade
HOLTINE: Give that letter to me, / or I will start a catfight,/  I’m just getting by on Pokémon friend codes. / Y’all are acting like fools, / Who can swear before RTH, / I don’t spend time with tools, / But nothing good ever bodes?
 
*They continue to bicker, getting in a Bad Girls Club style fight, until the boss, Monsieur Milleralorde, comes to break it up, but this is actually Valblank, who has made a new life in this scene.*
 
VALBLANK: What’s this flame war about? / Someone give the two a warning! / These are numbers, not just convos! / Now you two ladies, settle down, / You’re making everyone frown, / I run a thread of repute.
VALBLANK: *To M. Nevada* I’ll trust that you will sort this out, but please do not fear,
VALBLANK: *To workers* so what the fuck happened here?
 
M. COCHOFLES: At the end of the thread she’s the one who derailed it! / There’s a kid that she’s hiding in another board! / There’s a man she has to like! / It’s obvious how she gets the bonus, / You can bet she’s been posting raunch GIFs, not safe for work! / And Monsieur L wouldn’t like it!
HOLTINE: Yes it’s true there’s a child, the child is my daughter, / And her father abandoned us, kicking the sack, / Now she lives with a ‘Convo’ man and his wife, / And I give likes for the child, / So why are you so wack?
 
WORKERS: At the end of the thread it’s just another poster! / Don’t believe all sob-stories you read on the net! / While we’re struggling to make do, / she’s the one who wants to get much more, / And why won’t you get a clue, / And send her straight down to the door, / See how off-topic she has led, / at the end of the thread!
 
M. NEVADA: I should have known the bitch could slap, / I might have seen the Sneasel’s claws, / I might have guessed your PM convos, / Ah yes, spontaneous Holtine, / Who keeps herself lovely and clean, / It’s no wonder that you’ve caused, / A trainwreck of quality lost, / You play a virgin in the light, / but a like whore by the night!
M. WARHORSE: She’ll be laughing at you, behind every post!
WORKERS: She’s the one we despise in the country the most! / You must ban the girl today, / Ban the girl today!
M. NEVADA: You heard them, so pack your things.
 
*As Holtine is fired and topic banned out of the Factory, a scene happens meanwhile where Monsieur Numbers is trapped under a cart. Valblank, still as Milleralorde, goes to investigate*
 

 
MOVIEMAN: Look at that!
PANDA: Look at that!
STINGRAY: It’s Monsieur Nombres!
FILMLOVER: Don’t approach, don’t go near!
STINGRAY: He is going to die under his cart of knowledge!
FILMOVER: Oh, the miserable man, can’t finish Game of Thrones,
PANDA: There is nothing we can do!
MOVIEMAN: There is nothing we can do!
 
VALBLANK: This man needs some likes, / and he needs them now! / Monsieur Panda and Movieman, / Help me lift the cart!
PANDA: Tis a mistake, Mr. Mayor
MOVIEMAN: Even if you lead!
M. NOMBRES: Please, Monsiuer L! / Don’t let me bleed!
 
*After Panda and Movieman try to lift the cart, Valblank opens M. Numbers mouth and fills it with tiny bells. M. Nombres swallows is now newly fortified and gets up stronger than ever!*
M. NOMBRES: Mayor of our town, I have no words. / You come from RTH, an equal to Spatula!
*Nombres runs off away, saying that he must spread his intelligence and suaveness with the rest of the world.*
 
*Meanwhile, Televert finds Valblank on the street and takes him aside*
TELEVERT: Can this be true? / I don’t believe what I see! / A man your creed? / To give such likes as you do? / A mem’ry stirs, / you remind me of a man, / From threads ago, / A man who broke his parole, / A double account? / No it’s silly, / forgive me sir!
VALBLANK: I like where you’re going, / Don’t leave it there,
TELEVERT: I have only known one other, who can like just as you do, / He’s a convict from CAYOM gangs, / He’s been a month on the run, / But he couldn’t hide forever, / I think I found his spot, / He has now been arrested, / and the court will see what he’s got. / Well of course he says that’s BS, / You’d expect that of one without thank, / But he couldn’t run forever, / especially not Blank Valbank!
*Valblank fists pumps out of Televert’s sight, but regains his composure*
VALBLANK: You say this man denies his deeds, / Yet you don’t care at all of what he may say? / You say this man has been arrested, and that he’s sure to be banned, / and never see another good day? / Can you be sure, that I am not who you want?
TELEVERT: I have known this fool for ages, / tracked him down thick and thin, / Trying to convince myself, / there was no sexual tension, / He will make parodies no more, / Beat him up until he’s sore.
*Televert walks away, much to the relief of Valblank*
 

 
*The night time arrives, and we see, in the towns red light district, two sailors, Ethan Hunt and Darkelf, looking for a good time*
ETHAN HUNT: I smell 10k, smell ‘em in the board, / Gotta see what’s up and why they gained such a great hoard!
DARKELF: Lovely like whores, til the quota’s hit, / Many months of posting now I wanna see some shit!
ETHAN HUNT: We could learn some stuff, I must admit!
 
*Suddenly, we see several members with large amounts of likes come out, dressed very messily yet looking to give those who want it the satisfaction. Holtine walks into the area, still looking for a way to gain money for her daughter. She has become very scared and desperate*
LIKE WHORES: Lovely like whores, ready with a joke, / Maybe if you’re lucky then we’ll give you all a poke! / Lovely like whores knowing what to do, / Pay our little price and we’ll bring happiness to you! / Such as making fun of TASM Two!
 
*We see the owner of this like-whoring industry, a pimp (in a very campy, 70s style) named Monsieur Aylamao, come up to Holtine, attracted by her beautiful looks and hair*
M. AYLAMAO: What pretty hair! / You’re pretty hot over there, / You’ve got it good! / It’s worth a great deal, now! / Don’t be misunderstood!
HOLTINE: Don’t touch me you playa! / Just leave me alone!
M. AYLAMAO: Let’s strike a deal, / I’ll give you all of ten likes! / Just imagine that!
HOLTINE: It pays a debt!
M. AYLAMAO: Just imagine that!
HOLTINE: Fine, I’ll do it, / if it pays a debt. / At least it may end up saving my Pinkette.
*They go underneath the bridge.*
 
LIKE WHORES: Lovely like whores, ready to make scores, / Rant makers and gifs and wit are what each man adores!
CHEWY: Take all jokes that you were gonna make! / Match with silly avatars and we’ve got lots to take!
LIKE WHORES: We ain’t ever gonna take a break!
 
*Holtine returns from under the bridge, her hair now cut. M. Aylamao is about to make another offer*
M. AYLAMAO: Now give me a GIF, / for likes of two and ten!
CHEWY: Not everyone’s / such an easy commedienne!
M. AYLAMAO: The pain won’t last, / You’ll still have all New York!
CHEWY: Just the first season.
M. AYLAMAO: I’ll do it swift, I know how to do well. / It’s worth a shot.
HOLTINE: Just pay me now, and end it soon,
M. AYLAMAO: Would double gifs, double likes be such a boon?
 
*After a pause, M. Aylamao reaches into Holtine’s bag and pulls out her gif collection, saved for herself from work. She tries to deal with the pain until another lowlife, BKB, comes to have a look. Two like whores, Grim and Noctis, begin to talk to him.*
 
BKB: Give me the news, who’s that whore over there?
GRIM: A bit of a skirt, she’s the one who sold gifs,
NOCTIS: She’s got a daughter, / Sends her the like she can.
BKB: I would have known, / there’s always a man, / Lovely like whore, come and play with us! / Lovely like whore!
GRIM: Come on dearie, why all the fuss?
NOCTIS: You have better gifs than all of us!
BONER OMEGA: Life has dropped you at the bottom of the chart! / Join your comrades, make likes if you think you’re smart!
*Boner Omega helps Holtine up*
BONER OMEGA: That’s right, sweetheart, give him what he needs!
NOCTIS: Our biggest key to business is to supply all men’s feeds!
LIKE WHORES: Mods and trolls, we’re gonna please ‘em all, / From Baumer down to Shay, / and anyone else who would call! / Keep it short and get straight to the dirt! / No one ever cares if you will get just slightly hurt! / Anything you’re thinking, give a little blurt!
*Holtine goes off with BKB.*
LIKE WHORES: Lovely like whores, / puttin’ on a show! / Got a lot of seekers, / but for now we’ve gotta go!
 
*Holtine continues walking to a hideaway with BKB. She is alone and terrified.*
 

 
HOLTINE: Come on, good chap, go and wear your shoes, / Don’t it make a change to have someone who can’t refuse. / Easy likes just clicking some small things. / Crush all my feelings that I was among the kings, / Ready awards trackers, cause this is where Holtine sings!
 
*BKB does a few...things...with Holtine, eventually leaving her under the bridge, next to a discarded, messy bed. Holtine begins to lay down and lament her woes.*
 
HOLTINE: There was a time when posters were kind, / Where they weren’t extra, / and their posts were splendid, / There was a time when likes were blind, / And the world was a joy, / but then all of that ended. / Because after winter, / it was all such a ploy.
 
I dreamed a dream in time gone by, / when box office was high, / with discussions worth living, / I dreamed, LEGO would never die! / I dreamed that RTH was forgiving.
 
Then I was young and could soar high, / So dreams were made of our potential, / But nothing ever reached the sky, / Who knew that this would be essential?
 
But the flame wars come at night, / With misery of the season, / All weekends tear you hope apart, / And the best fall without reason!
 
He predicted the summer by my side! / He filled the threads with endless wonder! / He had some glory in his stride, / but he was gone when Optimus came. / But still I dream they’ll come to me! / Dragon and Edge will make their winning! / But there are hits that cannot be! / And there are days we end up sinning!
 
I had a dream these month would be, / so different from this hell we’re seeing! So different now, from what it seems!!!!
 
Spidey has killed the dream, I dream.........
 
*We zoom out and see that literally all living creatures in the universe are crying uncontrollably. Expect Claire Holt to do well at Oscar season*
 
TO BE CONTINUED Edited October 19, 2014 by Spaghetti

[MrPink]

You have bested me Spaghetti. This is too good.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Thanks, Pink! I really appreciate it!

 

Did you also get the hint for your role in this part?

Edited July 15, 2014 by Spaghetti

[Empire]

Great stuff. Enjoyed Part 2 a lot.

[MrPink]

Thanks, Pink! I really appreciate it!

 

Did you also get the hint for your role in this part?

 

I've only see Les Miserables once but...who gon' be my Eddie Redmayne?

 

EDIT: Saw the poster. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Edited July 15, 2014 by MrPink

[Kvikk Lunsj]

Great job!!! Such a fun read!!!!

[Blankments]

"Monsieur Milleralorde"

 

amazing

 

Great job!

[CJohn]

All of you have way too much free times on your hands  

[Gopher]

This is AMAZING.

[Ezen Baklattan]

"Monsieur Milleralorde"

 

amazing

 

Great job!

So happy you got that joke. 

[CJohn]

Also, I just pinned this. It won't get lost in the shuffle now. 

[MrPink]

All of you have way too much free times on your hands

 

It just seems that way because we're not doing anything at 2AM in the morning

[Jack Nevada]

This is some good shit.

[Ezen Baklattan]

It just seems that way because we're not doing anything at 2AM in the morning

 

 

Also, I'm legitimately excited to see Claire Holt's reaction to this part.

Edited July 15, 2014 by Spaghetti

[CJohn]

It just seems that way because we're not doing anything at 2AM in the morning

[Claire of Themyscira]

 

The slayage.

[darkelf]

I was in this already!

 

Great stuff Spaghetti

[Claire of Themyscira]

*Holtine continues walking to a hideaway with BKB. She is alone and terrified.*

 

 

HOLTINE: Come on, good chap, go and wear your shoes, / Don’t it make a change to have someone who can’t refuse. / Easy likes just clicking some small things. / Crush all my feelings that I was among the kings, / Ready awards trackers, cause this is where Holtine sings!

 

*BKB does a few...things...with Holtine, eventually leaving her under the bridge, next to a discarded, messy bed. Holtine begins to lay down and lament her woes.*

 

HOLTINE: There was a time when posters were kind, / Where they weren’t extra, / and their posts were splendid, / There was a time when likes were blind, / And the world was a joy, / but then all of that ended. / Because after winter, / it was all such a ploy.

 

I dreamed a dream in time gone by, / when box office was high, / with discussions worth living, / I dreamed, LEGO would never die! / I dreamed that RTH was forgiving.

 

Then I was young and could soar high, / So dreams were made of our potential, / But nothing ever reached the sky, / Who knew that this would be essential?

 

But the flame wars come at night, / With misery of the season, / All weekends tear you hope apart, / And the best fall without reason!

 

He predicted the summer by my side! / He filled the threads with endless wonder! / He had some glory in his stride, / but he was gone when Optimus came. / But still I dream they’ll come to me! / Dragon and Edge will make their winning! / But there are hits that cannot be! / And there are days we end up sinning!

 

I had a dream these month would be, / so different from this hell we’re seeing! So different now, from what it seems!!!!

 

Spidey has killed the dream, I dream.........

 

*We zoom out and see that literally all living creatures in the universe are crying uncontrollably. Expect Claire Holt to do well at Oscar season*

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[Jandrew]

Besting me as well.

[Claire of Themyscira]

He predicted the summer by my side! / He filled the threads with endless wonder! / He had some glory in his stride, / but he was gone when Optimus came. / But still I dream they’ll come to me! / Dragon and Edge will make their winning! / But there are hits that cannot be! / And there are days we end up sinning!